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RE: Adding People to Your Favorites - 7/30/2006 12:52:00 AM

Rayne58

Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: secretsss

I am absolutely amazed at the so-called dominants who get offended by a sub or slave adding them to their favorites.
I rejoined this community after a 6 month hiatus and now I am beginning to remember why I left all those months ago.
Today was a lazy Saturday, another storm running through St. Louis. So, I decided to read profiles. I read many of them and everytime that I ran across one that was particularly interesting, I would add it to my favorites. I added 7 people to my favorites, 3 subs and 4 dominants. My thinking was that I could go back and re-read them another time and maybe muster the courage to write a few emails.
Now, I am not here to find my soul-mate or life partner. My profile clearly states that I am just here to make friends and have some intellectual conversations. I am long time member of the d/s sub-culture. I found d/s when I was 22 and I will soon be 40. So, let's not count the actual years. Of course, I feel most comfortable on d/s sites, discussing d/s and bdsm related topics. Oops didn't mean to digress. Anyway, all three of the submissives (2 ladies and 1 male) wrote very nice letters of introduction, after noticing that I added them to my favorites. Two very nasty wannabee male dominants wrote to berate me for not asking their permission before adding their name to my favorites list. Is this what d/s has come to? Have dominants become this insecure? Are manners now reserved for submissives? Can someone please shed some light on this matter?
To end on a positive note, it looks like I am on my way to making three new friends. Thank goodness for subbies.
secrets

Oh dear......didn't you have a copy of their Dominant's Handbook? Shame on you! There's a page in there which categorically states on no account should a sub add a Dom/me to her/his favourites list without permission......

You're probably right in your assessment of them as "wannabees". They probably think that all doms should act like up-themselves wankers

(in reply to secretsss)

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RE: Adding People to Your Favorites - 7/30/2006 3:08:50 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

little sarbonn that is so right. After she yelled at you, she just wasn't a favorite anymore...how true I imagine that is. Also, the remark about the woman writing her profile as if she was married and already preparing for a divorce from whoever might read it. Too funny.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/30/2006 3:12:39 AM >

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RE: Adding People to Your Favorites - 7/30/2006 3:49:44 AM

wandering4u

Posts: 167
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline

Add away! lol! There are plenty of ways to focus on those you want to pay attention to. As for subs adding Doms...I think it is fine. They may want to re-read or just show interest in someone.

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RE: Adding People to Your Favorites - 7/30/2006 4:11:28 AM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: secretsss
Two very nasty wannabee male dominants wrote to berate me for not asking their permission before adding their name to my favorites list. Is this what d/s has come to? Have dominants become this insecure? Are manners now reserved for submissives? Can someone please shed some light on this matter?

Numerous subs, and a few Dom/mes have Me on their favorites lists. Not one asked permission, and I would never expect them to. While I don't usually write to the people who list Me as a favorite, I am flattered. I don't understand why some have Me listed, as it would appear that W/we have nothing in common, but I don't mind at all.

There was one exception, a local male sub who listed Me as one of his favorites that I want nothing further to do with, ever. He was a no-show when W/we made plans, so I have absolutely no idea why he would list Me as a favorite. Maybe he thought it would soften My heart and give him the second chance he was begging for before he got blocked, but it didn't work. I used the "hide" feature that Amativedame mentioned so I never have to see his name again, and it is an added benefit that he doesn't come up in searches, either.

If a Dom/me specifically has something in their profile asking that you not add them as a favorite until you have had a conversation, asked permission, etc., I feel that should be respected. Otherwise, I don't see why these dominants would have been bent out of shape by being added as a favorite.

Lady Topaz

(in reply to secretsss)

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RE: Adding People to Your Favorites - 7/30/2006 4:46:07 AM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

One other potential aspect for the requirement of the whole 'permission' thing is this:

The man is already involved, more or less, and when the woman looks over his shoulder when he's on (just for the articles, of course), she might think he's cheating on her with you.

He quite possibly 'is' cheating on her, just not with you, at least not until he's given you that permission.

Jeff

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RE: Adding People to Your Favorites - 7/30/2006 5:51:38 AM

Frankspl

Posts: 23
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline

Greetings, I'm so pc un savy to this site I didn't even know that there was an Admires list I could add or be added too :) lmao any how... being that I'm Frank and try not to be rude :) before I buddy some one on messenger I ask first if they would like to chat and if they are not on line and I have seen their profile I tell them that they are free to buddy me if they would like to chat....just the way I see it, not nessarly right or wrong :)

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RE: Adding People to Your Favorites - 8/31/2006 9:33:40 PM

forbbwseulement

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline

Just like Secretsss, I also add members to my favs whenever I come acroos an interesting profile or with people who I might have some affinities. If I had offended some of you by doing so, please feel free to let me know. It will be insignificant to remove you from my list. Pierre

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RE: Adding People to Your Favorites - 8/31/2006 9:36:34 PM

Homestead

Posts: 1005
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I think people are afraid to add me to thier favorites list.

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RE: Adding People to Your Favorites - 8/31/2006 9:57:52 PM

Mavis

Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

I think people are afraid to add me to thier favorites list.

After the emo-sadism thread, Bet So Sir! lol.
~~~~~
i had a serious opinion about the admirers list not so long ago in a thread here, i'm seeing lot of reasons to change my mind. Thanks for the discussion, F/folks.
~~~~~
(she thinks, she dreams, she waffles?)

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RE: Adding People to Your Favorites - 9/1/2006 4:35:14 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

I don't give a fat rat who adds me to their favorite list, why would that bother someone? Oh well different strokes for different folks I guess. Don't let them get you down, theres assholes everywhere.

~Lashra

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RE: Adding People to Your Favorites - 9/1/2006 5:29:51 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

About a week or so ago, someone new had added me to his favorite's list...I read his profile, and the profile actually said that he was too shy to initiate contact so if you were added to his fav list, then he expected you (me I suppose) to email him and make the first move. There was, of course, also the obligatory rant about no one being real on this site. Too funny - obviously I didn't bother emailing him, so his name disappeared off the list after a couple days.

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Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

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RE: Adding People to Your Favorites - 9/1/2006 5:47:56 AM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

If I add someone, I usually email them, even if its just to say hello.

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RE: Adding People to Your Favorites - 9/1/2006 5:51:18 AM

MistressCamille

Posts: 107
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I had someone add me to their list so I wrote a little note to them just to say hi and found out I was blocked from writing to them. What sense did that make?

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RE: Adding People to Your Favorites - 9/1/2006 5:52:33 AM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

The same thing happened to me MistressCamille, I just figured he was too shy..lol

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Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

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RE: Adding People to Your Favorites - 9/1/2006 6:48:13 AM

MistressCamille

Posts: 107
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Well I blocked him back, which took him off the favorites list.

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RE: Adding People to Your Favorites - 9/1/2006 7:02:42 AM

tangria

Posts: 27
Joined: 5/20/2006
Status: offline

    i am also fairly new to this site, and have added exactly one person to my favorites list, for the same reason some of you have already stated...........it was a good read, i enjoyed seeing additions to his journal, and something about the way he writes and thinks spoke to me. seemed like a good way to check for new entries.
   i never realized it showed up on his list of admirers lol, until he wrote and said he noticed i had popped up there. i was mortified, as i probably never would have had the courage to just message him and strike up any sort of conversation that way.
   we struck up a conversation, then went to IMs, then phone, then met a few days later. and we are getting on swimmingly!
   if i had added someone and they had "yelled" at me in message form, or been upset in some way, i never would have done it again and thus never would have met this wonderful man..........beginner's luck maybe?
   i think alot of the other's posts were correct.....perhaps you can look at it as a good way of weeding those out who obviously aren't worth your admiration, even though they seem to be able to write a catchy profile. their actions regarding being added speak for themselves.
   best of luck to you all, peace
   tangria

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RE: Adding People to Your Favorites - 9/1/2006 7:24:28 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: secretsss

I am absolutely amazed at the so-called dominants who get offended by a sub or slave adding them to their favorites.
I rejoined this community after a 6 month hiatus and now I am beginning to remember why I left all those months ago.
Today was a lazy Saturday, another storm running through St. Louis. So, I decided to read profiles. I read many of them and everytime that I ran across one that was particularly interesting, I would add it to my favorites. I added 7 people to my favorites, 3 subs and 4 dominants. My thinking was that I could go back and re-read them another time and maybe muster the courage to write a few emails.
Now, I am not here to find my soul-mate or life partner. My profile clearly states that I am just here to make friends and have some intellectual conversations. I am long time member of the d/s sub-culture. I found d/s when I was 22 and I will soon be 40. So, let's not count the actual years. Of course, I feel most comfortable on d/s sites, discussing d/s and bdsm related topics. Oops didn't mean to digress. Anyway, all three of the submissives (2 ladies and 1 male) wrote very nice letters of introduction, after noticing that I added them to my favorites. Two very nasty wannabee male dominants wrote to berate me for not asking their permission before adding their name to my favorites list. Is this what d/s has come to? Have dominants become this insecure? Are manners now reserved for submissives? Can someone please shed some light on this matter?
To end on a positive note, it looks like I am on my way to making three new friends. Thank goodness for subbies.
secrets

Addressing the dominants and their behavior: as to whether or not they are insecure or not...maybe. They are definitely rude and puffed up with their own importance and a false sense of what dominance means in terms of how they relate to others.

As for manners being reserved for submissives: don't want to hijack the thread as this has been discussed on other threads (LA, where are you?) but rudeness is becoming a more and more common thing seen nowadays, whether it be from dominants or submissives. Sadly, it seems to be creeping its way inexorably into the culture because it is accepted by so many...not only those on the receiving end who, instead of fighting it just decide "Oh well, this is the way it is" to those on the giving end, who often use "This is the real me...and if you can't handle that, you're the one with a problem. I refuse to use an insincere veneer of courtesy when I don't even know you" as their reasoning behind their behavior.

Friends are always good. Sometimes friends become something more, sometimes they don't...but friends that are sincerely friends and who have differing as well as similar interests are always good.
I have not added anyone to my favorites list and I am not sure why except that I have just been too involved in answering mail and posting on the forums with the little time I do have that I don't take the time to learn how to add someone. I am going to have to go back and read how to do so though because there are those on here that I do admire and who I'd like to have on the list of My Favorites.

(in reply to secretsss)

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Post #: 37

RE: Adding People to Your Favorites - 9/1/2006 7:48:19 AM

kittencurious

Posts: 21
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline

sometimes i'll add someone as a favorite because i like their forum posts, or their look, or the things they say in their profile.

the other day i added someone as a favorite because i liked a few of their posts in a particular thread.

a short time later i was sent a mini-lecture by them, presuming i was in pursuit of them (from the other side of the country). the message was full of condescension and misspelled words, complaining about some things said in my profile and how even if they were looking for someone, it just would not work out between us.

please keep in mind i had not ever contacted this individual, i only added them to my favorites list.

what amused me the most is if their reading comprehension skills matched the breadth of their ego, they would realize their complaint and what is stated in my profile are two very different things.

needless to say the presumptuous, stuck up stupidhead is now blocked and hidden, hopefully to never be seen or heard from again.

(in reply to tangria)

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RE: Adding People to Your Favorites - 9/1/2006 7:49:23 AM

sothernnyte

Posts: 95
Joined: 11/22/2005
Status: offline

i have had that same issue...but the favorites list is one of my own. one i get to pick and chose. this isnt for anyone to accept or like. whether i like something i read in someone's profile, or merely like the pics i was viewing... could be good friends that i have made here...
nonetheless, it is the individuals list and cannot be moderated by anyone but yourself. if someone takes offense at being recognized they are more than welcome to block you.
sincerely
sothern

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Post #: 39

RE: Adding People to Your Favorites - 9/1/2006 10:15:32 AM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

My Gawd...talk about much ado about nuthin'.......lordy, i cannot imagine having enough time to worry about who adds me as a fav...and the people i have added are all friends so i can more easily send messages, but i guess if i saw s'thing really unusual i might add that profile.....this is just so picky on the part of people who object. We don't curtsey to anyone here in the US (unless we want to, lol) and i didn't know there was a "class" of cm ppl who shouldn't be disturbed in any way w/o their prior permission, lol.

pinkee

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Post #: 40