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RE: The Safe Word - 12/11/2004 10:34:41 PM

FangsNfeet

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boy oh boy have I opend up a can of worms. Very very interesting endeed to read all the input by this. One posting made by yours truely.

conclusin/fair assessment: Everyone is TAO. We all have concluded different beliefs based on up bringing and personal experiences along with the concept of others oppinoins.

If a DM and the s/s is happy together, then if it ain't broke don't fix it. Find what works and do it and may ye life be in misarable bliss all thy days.

God Damn is it just me are am I sounding like Dr Phill?

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RE: The Safe Word - 12/12/2004 8:51:45 AM

MrThorns

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I have to agree with those that have said that a safeword definately has it's place in certain situations, but it's not the all-powerful word to end all words that some people make it out to be.

For me, having intimate knowledge of the person I am playing with is far more useful to me than any safeword.

A slave who is floating amongst the ether...how can she really be held accountable for remembering a certain word?

A slave who is enduring a form of corporal punishment...it hurts physically, psycholgically and emotionally. The punishment is there for a reason. How is it that she can say a safeword as a "Get out of jail free" card?

These situations require the dominant to be in control of themselves and to be aware of their surroundings. There's your safety net. That's why it's important to take your time before getting involved with someone in a D/s relationship and why it's so important to encourage communication within that relationship.

I think too many people use a safeword to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. A dominant goes too far and states, "She never said a safeword."...true...but didn't she, before the scene took place and you put that full hood over her head, say that she had acute asthma?

"He didn't listen to me screaming my safeword!" cries the abused slave who met her online "Master" for the first time after speaking with him for 3 whole weeks and accepting his virtual collar.

Again...responsibility and awareness are far more useful than any safeword.

~Thorns

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RE: The Safe Word - 12/12/2004 6:54:48 PM

Jasmyn

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From: New Zealand
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I tend to rely on intuition than safewords...as a Dom I'm not going to give up My right for a safe consensual scene to a submissive who may never be in the emotional space to know they *SHOULD* be using their safeword.at that moment.

Anyone in this scene can be a dangerous player. I find dominants who wait to hear a word uttered are just as dangerous as those who ignore them when they are.

A blanket generalisation on another forum that there are safe players in this scene who use safewords and dangerous players in this scene who don't use safewords. After years of scening with a variety of people without using a safeword, I naturally took exception to this; a) it creates a false sense of security to imply the presence of a safeword is automatically going to make you safe and b) not ALL scenes require one.

I do issue a safeword if the play partner is a newbie and feels comfortable having one available and when I am doing a scene that I know will be pushing someones mental and physical boundaries.

Just My two scents.

Jasmyn

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RE: The Safe Word - 12/13/2004 12:46:08 PM

esclavedefille

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first of all,
why be with someone where You don't trust enough to stop when it is Your limit. You have to voice that You can't take anymore? i think, personally, that the Master should know his sub/slave enough that she/he wouldn't have to use a safe word. i don't even think it is necessary to go anywhere close to the pain limit unless someone cheats on their Master or something like that. Then, it is punishment and that is a different story. With punishment.. the sub/slave has no say in how badly they get it. Its not like You can be permanently injured by getting the crud beaten out of Your ass! unless, You are into blood, needles, breath play or dangerous things like that then, a safe word is necessary. but, i am not into that stuff.

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RE: The Safe Word - 12/13/2004 1:01:30 PM

MistressFire70

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From: North Carolina
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quote:

ORIGINAL: esclavedefille

first of all,
why be with someone where You don't trust enough to stop when it is Your limit. You have to voice that You can't take anymore? i think, personally, that the Master should know his sub/slave enough that she/he wouldn't have to use a safe word.

But the Master won't know you like that right off the bat. Letting go of a safeword is about gaining trust in an indivdual. you can't (or, in my opinion, shouldn't) put that kind of trust in someone new to the relationship. That kind of trust must grow.

Fire

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RE: The Safe Word - 12/13/2004 2:58:59 PM

proudsub

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quote:

think, personally, that the Master should know his sub/slave enough that she/he wouldn't have to use a safe word. i don't even think it is necessary to go anywhere close to the pain limit unless someone cheats on their Master or something like that. Then, it is punishment and that is a different story. With punishment.. the sub/slave has no say in how badly they get it.

A Master can't feel what the sub is feeling. Hubby still doesn't know how hard He can pinch and twist my nips 'til it's too much. Just last night i used my safeword, and i trust Him thoroughly but He likes to push me, especially with nip pain. A lot of subs like to go very close to their pain limit. I think even with punishment the sub should be able to use a safeword. Also there are other reasons for using one besides just too much pain from the scene, such as joint pain or muscle cramps from being in the wrong position too long, especially for us older subs.

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Post #: 26