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mastersayed -> what if... (7/31/2006 7:10:36 PM)
this thread is inspired by the "if you were hit in anger thread" after I saw the huge amount of slaves and submissives who would ask for release in that case. anyways my question is what if a slave asks for release (due to whatever reason) and her master refuses? whould she just give up since shes a slave or would she say "screw you asshole" and leave? the reason I'm posting this is to find out how seriously people take the lifestyle and I'm sure that there are different levels of how serious people are about BDSM. all replies are respected and appreciated.

KatyLied -> RE: what if... (7/31/2006 7:15:58 PM)
I believe that I have rights that transcend the "lifestyle", I call it "living my life". Many people would disagree with this. Call it a breakup or release or whatever, but I retain the right to leave a relationship if/when I want to. That doesn't mean that I take the lifestyle less seriously than others.

hizgeorgiapeach -> RE: what if... (7/31/2006 7:17:08 PM)
I never bothered to ask for release when a relationship ended. I'm a pretty dang independant minded person (which is one of the reasons I don't make a good submissive) and if I wanna leave, I'm gonna leave, whether he likes it or not. Frankly, if someone has gotten to the point of asking for release (or making plans to leave regardless) - then the trust is gone, and staying anyway is subjecting yourself to abuse rather than consensual activities. You (generic) should probably consider "asking for release" the same as "Withdrawl of Consent."

Evanesce -> RE: what if... (7/31/2006 7:40:27 PM)
quote: my question is what if a slave asks for release (due to whatever reason) and her master refuses? whould she just give up since shes a slave or would she say "screw you asshole" and leave? If the relationship has deteriorated to the point that I feel the need to request release, then it's over, regardless of His response. However, due to the commitment I made to Him, and to myself, I am honor-bound to exhaust every conceivable means of rectifying the situation before it can truly be considered "over."

gooddogbenji -> RE: what if... (7/31/2006 7:45:18 PM)
I think asking for release is similar to extending your hand for a handshake. The other person can, technically, not indulge you, but to do so is not very respectable. Granted, one has farther reaching consequences, but if someone won't shake my hand, I reserve the right to shoot spitballs at him across the table. Of course, it depends on the dynamic, as I'm sure others will say that their slave would have no choice. If it works for them, good. Yours, benji

MasterFireMaam -> RE: what if... (7/31/2006 7:50:16 PM)
In my opinion, the one decision a slave ALWAYS has is: to obey or not. If they choose to obey and remain in the collar, that's their decisions. Of course, we all know it's just a matter of getting up and walking out, even if that means only having the clothes on your back. Master Fire

litleone8620 -> RE: what if... (7/31/2006 7:51:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mastersayed my question is what if a slave asks for release (due to whatever reason) and her master refuses? whould she just give up since shes a slave or would she say "screw you asshole" and leave? If something had happened within our relationship for me to ask for release then it means the relationship is over, and His response doesn't really matter. However, I think it would be a last resort, unless He did something that caused me to ask for release immediately. I would try to fix our relationship before it got to the point of my wanting out.

Quivver -> RE: what if... (7/31/2006 8:05:47 PM)
LOL, I could use that tired old line of "submission is a gift". Gifts are given and gifts are taken away..................... Hummm, maybe your question is where that line orginiated from! [;)]

Tapestry -> RE: what if... (8/1/2006 12:48:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam In my opinion, the one decision a slave ALWAYS has is: to obey or not. If they choose to obey and remain in the collar, that's their decisions. Of course, we all know it's just a matter of getting up and walking out, even if that means only having the clothes on your back. Master Fire I agree, I always have the choice to obey. Every choice has consequences, some positive some negative. The question is where the line is between what is positive and what is negative. What I mean is, to leave could be the most painful consequence and simply not to be considered. And then things could change to the point that leaving is less painful than staying would be. I have 2 friends who have had to make this difficult decision in the past months. It is never easy for the slave who is requesting release. But really, at that point, the request to be released from the collar is nothing more than a formality, a common courtesy.

babysburnin -> RE: what if... (8/1/2006 12:57:00 AM)
I'm a "sub", not a "slave". I only give that which I can truely offer ... I cannot truely offer my "soul", my "beingness", my "individuality as a person". I can offer thngs like my adoration, my attention, my love, my friendship, my body, etc ...

RavenMuse -> RE: what if... (8/1/2006 3:09:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach You (generic) should probably consider "asking for release" the same as "Withdrawl of Consent." Which is exactly what it is of course. sub or slave it doesn't matter, WIITWD works on consent and wether they choose to excersise it or not ANYONE has the right to remove that consent, a legal right that comes with simply living in the various parts of the world that most of us here do. As benji touched on, the wording is mainly protocol, a polite and formal way of ending the relationship. Wether you accept the collar back or not, consent has clearly been removed, she is no longer yours. Accept politely with dignity and self control.... or throw a tantrum and throw your teddy out of the pram it makes no diffrence, it is still over.

Mercnbeth -> RE: what if... (8/1/2006 5:03:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mastersayed ...anyways my question is what if a slave asks for release (due to whatever reason) and her master refuses? whould she just give up since shes a slave or would she say "screw you asshole" and leave?... the last person that this slave served that hit her, explosively, reactively ~ in anger~and out of "control" was not a Master, not of his own life and certainly not of anyone else's...that being subjective, this slave served him for several years and--long story short--eventually informed him that he had three days in which to remove his belongings from this slave's home, afterwhich he would not be welcome to ever live in it again. during those three days this slave went to a nice hotel and relaxed, ordered room service, patiently waited for him to take whatever material posessions he could fit into his truck over a three day stretch...anything material is replaceable, being able to breathe is essential. but that was then and this is NOW. at present, this slave can't even bring herself to tempt the fates by even imagining a scenario so heinous that it would distort her perception of self to the point that she COULD beg for release...let alone what would happen next.

truesub4u -> RE: what if... (8/1/2006 7:34:37 AM)
Ok.. I'm a screw you and leave anyways type person. Because if I've asked for a release... there's a reason . And if release is denied.. then it becomes nonconsentual. But then again... any heavy object with get my out the door. Hense another reason why I've decided non living with situations. Makes hitting the door easier if need be.

raiken -> RE: what if... (8/1/2006 10:12:30 AM)
Well, i'm the same as everyone else as far as "when it's over, it just is", i am polite and respectful about it. i have a line of personal integrity as an individual that keeps me in check. If it is over, it is best for me to end it on a note of respect, than have to have dishonrable behavior be left in my wake, and possibly regrets. i am one that believes in never burning bridges, the world is just too small. i like to leave an honorable trail if possible. smile However, concerning lifestyle and how serious i am about living it. i make no distinction between lifestyle and vanilla, or any other, people are simply people who join together on common ground and understanding. i don't really get into the labels except for discussion and sake of clarity. i believe we each have pieces of ourselves that attract a part of many different philosophies and interests. i believe we are a "desire and fulfillment" driven people in that respect. Many simply wish to find a place or group in which they feel a sense of belonging, and for those folks, being involved in the "lifestyle" does it for them, while others are happiest flying solo and not belonging to anything but life itself. It is my own perceptions and my own reality, and i really don't take my life too seriously anymore, i used to when i was younger, but ya live and learn. i respect myself and respect all others, and whether my relationship is labeled lifestyle or not, if i feel to leave, i will. For my relationship is not WITH the lifestyle, or any toher interest we share, but with another being, and the lifestyle being a common desire that was a part of our bond. However, i take my commitments seriously, when i give my word, i give either 100% or nothing at all, there is no halfway with me. i will give it my best shot, so that when i walk out that the door, i won't have to look back, not even once. i always try to have little to no regret over my actions or choices. Just sharing my personal view. smile ~raiken

gentlethistle -> RE: what if... (8/1/2006 12:38:09 PM)
I don't find it easy to leave someone....even when I realise that I've made a mistake. Laura

littleone35 -> RE: what if... (8/1/2006 12:59:14 PM)
This will never happen to me cause Master qan i want to be together forever. If it was me though out of respect for the relationship we had i would ask to be released if he did not grant that release then i would get to the screw you and just walk away. Matt's littleone

amoretta -> RE: what if... (8/1/2006 2:14:17 PM)
You know.. the interesting thing is that I have been in lots of relationships, but have only been collared twice. Every relationship I was in that was not one with a collar.. I have been the one to end it. The two where I was collared, my former Masters ended it. Hence, I have never been in a position to beg or ask for release from my collar/commitment/consent. I think this is because once I am collared.. I am a stubborn girl to find a way to fix things, etc. :) However, I agree with all others on here. If things have gotten to a point where I feel that I need to beg release that seems to mean that I no longer would respect my owner, and without respect there is not trust... and I cannot surrender to one I do not respect or trust. However, I need to show my owner and the itself separation respect as the ending I feel reflects the relationship itself. If he does not accept my request and puts forth reasons why I admit I would consider those reaosons and perhaps it would influence my request, perhaps not. Utimately, this very senario is what leads many to (grudgingly) concede that in the end, the submissive/slave/boy/girl/whatever has the power.. because they can always withdraw that necessary consent.

ownedgirlie -> RE: what if... (8/1/2006 8:38:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth at present, this slave can't even bring herself to tempt the fates by even imagining a scenario so heinous that it would distort her perception of self to the point that she COULD beg for release...let alone what would happen next. This was lovely.

Devilslilsister -> RE: what if... (8/3/2006 11:30:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mastersayed this thread is inspired by the "if you were hit in anger thread" after I saw the huge amount of slaves and submissives who would ask for release in that case. anyways my question is what if a slave asks for release (due to whatever reason) and her master refuses? whould she just give up since shes a slave or would she say "screw you asshole" and leave? the reason I'm posting this is to find out how seriously people take the lifestyle and I'm sure that there are different levels of how serious people are about BDSM. all replies are respected and appreciated. Heard about this thread too = ) If the request was refused.. hehehehehehe <private chuckle> As i was just in this SAME situation. Well my request was refused! i saidsss.. "i respectfully decline ANYTHING to do with BDSM on the grounds that its full of shit and gives Masters/Mistresses the cause to do whatever the fuck they want and slaves have to just suck it and deal AND it makes me miserable" Dur i was refused.. even tho i made a GOOD arguement. So. What to do? You can eithers force the issue.... and be like Nos! You cant see me, cos u've got ROPE and cuffs and well when yers tied up is like NOT the time to argue. LOLOLOL You can disappear into the wide blue yonder Or you can talk it out and listen.. and compromise and erm.. give it another chance. THAT being said, release HERE wasnt on the grounds of some Nab losing control and htting me in anger. If that happened... well i said what i'd do in the other thread!

fyreredsub -> RE: what if... (8/3/2006 12:27:26 PM)
i consider a consistant barage of being yelled at the same (,for example a 30 min call of being yelled at) my brain shuts down or it goes in one ear and out of the other. heck being thwamped in the head would get my attn easier and often in a much less painful manner and i am totally against physical force in any manner from when an Owner/Dom/Domme/Top/Master/Mistress is angry. to me it is a total loss of control and that is even less acceptable than bratty behavior in a sub/slave/bottom. i would ask release due to it even if i loved that person but ecspecially if it is a long-distance relationship and i have spent very little time in that persons physical presence. and if release was not granted i dont know what i would do...probably whatever i felt was best for me. which no doubt if i was asking for release...it would most likely be irrepairable in my eyes and i take the lifestyle extremely serious as to living it fulltime. however a D/M/T yelling for 30 mins is a limit for me bigtime.it is just somehting i can not handle. i would either(if in the same room) yell back or walk away...either is unacceptable behavior from a sub/slve to a D/M/T. so if a relationship has gotten to a point where i have forgotten my place something is seriously wrong and release is no doubt the best course of action

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