Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (Full Version)

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HerTexasBoss -> Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (8/1/2006 12:04:12 AM)

A couple of weeks ago I posted a message about my sub and how she was having trouble embracing the fact that she liked pain.  Most of the response centered on talking with her and getting her in contact with other subs.

As we have continued to talk, it is seeming to emerge that what is REALLY turning her on is not the pain...but the act of submission itself.  she doesn't get soaking wet because she enjoys the whipping or hot wax....she doesn't enjoy it....it seems she gets soaking wet because she is being dominated and submissive. 

Are there other subs on this board that that is true for....it's not the pain or the enjoyment of the activity, but the submission and domination that turns you on.  Perhaps you could careless about the bondage, whippings, etc....it's the sheer act of submission that does it for you??

If any of you could shed light on this or share your thoughts I'd appreciate it.

Thanks
HerTexasBoss



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (8/1/2006 12:08:06 AM)

masochism = enjoying pain

submission = enjoying being the one not in authority in your personal relationship

The two often overlap, but they are two completely separate things.  Many masochists are not submissives and many submissives are not masochists.

And many are.

For me, I am not a masochist.  I love everything about pain EXCEPT the pain part.  All of my pleasure is gained indirectly.



Tapestry -> RE: Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (8/1/2006 12:14:36 AM)

It's both for me, and yet if I have to choose one or the other, I will choose to submit.  I enjoy the pain, and while I am a masochist I'm not a pain slut.  But what I can't live without is submission to another, pleasing and serving another.  Even in my failed vanilla marriage I submitted.  The M/s dynamic is part of who I am, part of who I was before I knew it.  The pain is just icing on the cake, and my pleasure! [:D]



srllile7 -> RE: Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (8/1/2006 12:35:17 AM)


For me it’s a mixture of both it solely depends on the pain, off the top of my head, you can slap, hit, pinch, squeeze, poke and clamp me all you want and that pain will bring about arousal but I promise you even mention fire play, branding or burning in anyway and I promise any arousal from this is going to be purely from submission.

And yes I do think that submission does play a role even if the pain turns me on. Over all submission turns me on ALL THE TIME and pain is dependent on the situation.



ownedgirlie -> RE: Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (8/1/2006 12:47:27 AM)

It is absolutely my submission to his dominance that does it for me.  There are many things he does with/to me that I would never ever subscribe to on my own.  They are not fantasies of mine in and of themselves.  They are not turn-ons for me.  However, doing them out of my submission to him...well that lights my inner fire and ultimately sets me at a wonderful sense of peace.  I am not a fan of physical pain, and not a masochist by any means.  But the deeper I submit to him, the more I seem to be able to endure, and when such acts are taking place, again - it is not the pain or the act that heats me up, but the deep feeling of submisison and the overwhelming feeling of his power over me.



soldierfunuk -> RE: Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (8/1/2006 1:30:57 AM)

I do not enjoy pain.
I do enjoy being submissive.
Mistress enjoys pain.
I do as I am told, I submit to whatever Mistress wants, if she wants to hurt me I take the pain to please her.



MsReginasslave -> RE: Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (8/1/2006 1:46:18 AM)

For me, a male slave, it is the act of submission, of extending my wrists and ankles for binding, knowing that i will be totally exposed, naked, and helpless, unable to resist or avoid what is coming, being in total submission to the will and wants of my Owner, that makes it for me.  Pain hurts and is pain, but it is the fact and the act of submission to the wants and will of another that does it for me.  The pain is endured, but the act of submission, of, at times, almost standing outside myself and seeing what is being done to me, that turns me on and that i cannot live without.

john

Ms Regina's slave



Mavis -> RE: Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (8/1/2006 1:58:36 AM)

Definately the submission.  Hey, that hitting stuff hurts! 
It only "hurts so good" because of the other stuff.



mellian -> RE: Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (8/1/2006 3:14:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

masochism = enjoying pain

submission = enjoying being the one not in authority in your personal relationship



Yes, enjoy more, and happier, at being the submissive and being Dominated than pain. Of course, while I may enjoy pain in some and degree, I do not think I am a masochist, just a sucker for punishment. :p

-mellian



nephandi -> RE: Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (8/1/2006 5:46:45 AM)

Yes for me it is the submission part sprinkeld whit a bit of exitement that make me like being whipped or whatever.



Bearlee -> RE: Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (8/1/2006 6:01:22 AM)

As a submissive, I am a Pleaser.  What 'gets me off' is seeing to his/her wishes, allowing him/her to do things to me that s/he enjoys, things s/he enjoys seeing or feeling...  While I am a bit of an edgy player and able to take quite a bit of pain; the only reason I can do so is because of my interest in submitting to him/her.  I don't enjoy the pain.  Perhaps the release that comes with it...but not the pain itself.  It's the submission.



hizgeorgiapeach -> RE: Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (8/1/2006 6:14:27 AM)

I'm the oddball - though everyone knows that by now.
 
It's the pain. I don't much care whether he's enjoying doing it (though of course enlightened self interest says that it's better if he does, since he's more likely to continue doing what *I like under those circumstances).  I'm certainly not about to agree to something I don't enjoy simply because someone else does unless they're paying me to do so in cold hard cash.
 
I'm very much the maso but not at all submissive in this group.



Lashra -> RE: Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (8/1/2006 6:50:11 AM)

I put this question to my sub and he said: "It is a combination of things for me. i enjoy serving you it makes me happy to see you happy. Whatever You want me to do, i'm going to do. i love the control you have over me, no woman has ever made me do things that i didn't want to do before and thats a huge turn on. The way you tell me to do something, its not a bitchy order, but said in such a way it makes me melt inside. The pain make's me so submissive and so hot at the same time. i just go way out into subspace and its the best feeling in the world knowing i can go there safely with you watching over me."

So for some I would say its the combination of both.

~Lashra and slutjack



littleone35 -> RE: Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (8/1/2006 7:09:30 AM)

or me it is also the submission.  I don't like pain, but whan Master spankes me it get me excited  i do not like the pain but it triggers something inside me, and my mind says ow that hurts but my body says something else completly.

Matt's littleone



SexyRed -> RE: Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (8/1/2006 7:14:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

masochism = enjoying pain

submission = enjoying being the one not in authority in your personal relationship

The two often overlap, but they are two completely separate things.  Many masochists are not submissives and many submissives are not masochists.

And many are.

For me, I am not a masochist.  I love everything about pain EXCEPT the pain part.  All of my pleasure is gained indirectly.


Ditto for me. I don't like pain for pain sake. I like the act of being submissive and the fact that accepting it turns the Dominant on. That triggers my arousal response.



jonathan -> RE: Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (8/1/2006 5:11:27 PM)

i have to agree with Lashra's sub. Years ago, it was more about the pain, but as i gained experience in B&D my mind moved into dominance & submission. So what was a 65%/35% pain/submission split has flipped, with submission becoming more important. But i've never had one without the other. The comment about doing things never desired before is where i'm headed, in terms of service to my Goddess. Serving Her in ways i have not considered in the past. Quite happy about it all. i hope that i, too, am offered a collar very soon.



MmakeMme -> RE: Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (8/1/2006 6:31:55 PM)

I enjoy pleasing my Dom. If he does something that is physically painful, I accept it. He is a gentle Dom but does take pleasure in certain things that make me grit my teeth. I can take my mind away from the pain when I look in his beautiful eyes; and when he is finished and is caring for me, I know why I exist.



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (8/1/2006 7:33:50 PM)

I enjoy the TPE more than the pain. The pain itself is not the reason for my arousal. To me it just enhances all the feelings.



briska -> RE: Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (8/1/2006 9:51:35 PM)

For me, it's the submission and then the reminder of it when I'm walking around the next going, "Damn my ass hurts... Thank you, Sir." :) The actual pain during a scene, though, I could probably live without.



LaMspeach -> RE: Is it the Pain or the Act of Submission??? (8/1/2006 9:53:03 PM)

It has always been about the submission and the need to please. I have learned to like the pain Master gives me  and even crave it at times but with out the submission the pain means nothing it is just simply pain.



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