RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging?

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 11:06:16 AM

Jasmyn

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Caramel ... unfortunately yes it does get perceived that way

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 11:08:56 AM

MasterRoissey

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Carameldomme one can only "compromise" them self. so if you did not experience being compromised , then you surely were not.

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 11:13:22 AM

Lashra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carameldomme

I wDo you believe that being on the receiving end of a flogging (or a spanking, or whatever) indicates submissiveness or potential submissiveness? Does it compromise one's dominance?

No my sub flogs me, spanks me or whatever I TELL him to do. I do not see it as undermining my Dominance over him in anyway. I think if a Dominant see's this as submission, had perhaps better reflect on what the true meaning of the word.

Also if those Dominants wouldn't allow you to flog them, perhaps they were just plain scared that they wouldn't be able to deal with it, or perhaps afraid they may like it a bit too much? Sometimes people harbor desires and if let out they can never live without them again.

~Lashra

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 11:25:06 AM

NakedOnMyChain

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carameldomme

Do you believe that being on the receiving end of a flogging (or a spanking, or whatever) indicates submissiveness or potential submissiveness? Does it compromise one's dominance?

No, and no, respectively. Dom/mes can be masochists, too, or simply enjoy the feel of a flogger without compromising whatever it is they are worried about compromising.

I think the more pressing question is: How many dommes could a dom/domme flog, if a dom/domme could flog dommes?

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 11:47:19 AM

sub4hire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carameldomme

Do you believe that being on the receiving end of a flogging (or a spanking, or whatever) indicates submissiveness or potential submissiveness? Does it compromise one's dominance?

Every dominant I have ever met has been on the receiving end of all types of play.
Not because they are submissive but because they are confident in whom they are.
They also need to be in the submissives head when playing with him or her. Know how the flogger or cane..etc feels and know what emotions are going through their heads at the time.
Only those who are not dominants in my opinion would cry and act as a baby would.

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 4:11:09 PM

proudsub

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quote:

Do you believe that being on the receiving end of a flogging (or a spanking, or whatever) indicates submissiveness or potential submissiveness? Does it compromise one's dominance?

My first r/l dom ordered me to cuff him to the door and flog him with his riding crop because he wanted to see what if felt like. I hated doing it and couldn't make myself hit him hard enough. I don't see this at all as a sign of submissiveness on his part.

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 4:19:40 PM

mp072004

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Heck no. Submissiveness indicates submissiveness, and deference may indicate potential submissiveness. Getting off on lack of control might indicate Receiving pain indicates consent to, possibly desire for bottoming, and may indicate potential masochism.

It is a submissive behavior to bottom if you don't want to, and it is submissive to refrain from bottoming if you want to. Now, behaving submissively involving BDSMy things doesn't get you kicked out of the dom club any more than submitting to your boss does, but it is important to recognize what is, and is not, submissive behavior. One of the key elements that made your flogging not submission, but bottoming (power-neutral, or even you dominant) is noted in one of your later posts. You wrote that you "Told them to stop," and appear to imply that the people flogging you did stop. That seems to indicate that you were in control.

I do agree that more than a few people I know seem to be confused about the relationship between getting hit and submitting. This imprecision is unfortunate, and can be really annoying.

Monica

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 4:43:21 PM

kyraofMists

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Lashra,

I love your profile pic. *g* I think I have a thing for redheads

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 5:37:59 PM

SoftTop

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRoissey

so accordingly...all cardiovascular surgeons should have a 5 way bipass?

nonsense. pure nonsense.

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 5:42:39 PM

twicehappy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

I know several people who identify as a dominant who also bottom occasionally. Bottoming has nothing to do with submission.

I think you are exactly right here.

< Message edited by twicehappy -- 8/1/2006 5:44:13 PM >

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 6:39:36 PM

scottjk

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRoissey

so accordingly...all cardiovascular surgeons should have a 5 way bipass?

WOOT! That's a good one! I'll have to remember that one.

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 7:45:26 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carameldomme

I think I get what enigma is saying, I just wouldn't carry it that far.
If I were a sub, I'd have to know that my Dom/me knew what a toy was capable of before he used it on me. For example, a flogger made of different material may hurt more than a regular leather flogger. How much more, and how much pain I can take - that's something you have to experiment to figure out. But, I'd expect that a Domme would at least strike her own hand to understand the toy better.

I agree... I would think any bottom should expect that the Top they play with has an appreciation and skill in the use of the toys they choose to use. In fact, I would be somewhat concerned if a bottom didn't take careful steps to appreciate and make a judgement on the skill of a given Top they plan to play with. Just cause he is cute and talks a good line don't keep you safe at his/her hands. But getting an appreciation to the Top's skill level and their own understanding of the toys they use goes along way.

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 8:30:19 PM

LadyHugs

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Dear Carameldomme, Ladies and Gentlemen;

In the arts of using the flogger, flail, whip and or cane; it really is of a benefit to have felt the many styles, strokes and techniques as possible. Doing it to yourself will not have the same effect as if someone else did it. That is a fact. Problem is, nobody can copy your style, techniques and strokes like you personally do and or any other Top/Dominant/Master/Mistress and or Sadist.

That said, there has been many issues brought up when Dominants are whipped and or 'taking the whip.' Of course Switches are seen with more tolerance/forgiveness than a Dominant/Master/Mistress. And, yet again on the next level, it is more acceptable to see a male whip a female dominant than a female dominant whip a male dominant. Unfortunately, the bias remains against women as has been demonstrated. Indeed, it is considered for a male dominant to be whipped by a female dominant, to be a sign of weakness. So, as much as they may wish to feel a woman's technique, strokes and styles--it will be in private, no witnesses and no peer pressures. Yet, extremely secure dominants will submit to the whip/cane by a female instructor--as it is not a matter of D/s but, pure education in a purely educational enviorment. I also find male dominants make it difficult on any female dominant who "takes the whip," as I've seen all to often male dominants make disrespectful comments afterwards and respect for them goes out of the window. Sad--but, that is the way it goes sometimes.

There is also another matter, to which has not been addressed. There are slaves out in the community who really get upset, emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally seeing their Owners being whipped and or caned under any circumstances. So, for their welfare--I would keep in mind the circumstances for dominants to submit to the whip per se.

Majority of dominants would like to feel the tools personally but, will not do so publicly but, privately. They won't admit to it as, some feel it is a sign of weakness. For those who use such tools without feeling the "nature" of the whip/cane are those who must work much harder to achieve their skills, knowledge and must depend on feed back as the source of their knowledge, skill and such. Those who have felt the whip/cane and such, as well as the wide range of 'voices' each instrument has to offer, it's strengths and or weakness; have less time to understand the 'impact' (no pun intended) of each stroke, style and or technique. In feeling first hand, they can select that feeling as to apply it to their 'victim.' And, sometimes sensations are hard to put into terms or words.

Furthermore, I have found that dominants who have never been under the whip/cane and such; have failed to provide sound advice to their slaves/submissives as to take up a position with their bodies, as to help them take impact strokes. With simple adjustments, the slave under the whip could take more and enjoy it more. This is also a sad reality, to which I have hopes in time will change with education.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 8:30:47 PM

ImJustMe

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I have known several Dominants, both male and female that have bottomed on occasion. Now most of them do it in private, away from their submissives or slaves and don't really discuss it. It seems that the subs/slaves have somewhat of an issue with it. But just because they bottom, doesn't make them any less of a Dom/Top. It just means that they are a masochistic Dom/Top. Just as a sub/slave can be a sadistic sub/slave. In fact, most of the slaves and stuff I have seen are more sadistic than the Dominants/Tops. Whether you bottom or not has nothing to do with what role you play in this lifestyle. It just means your sadistic or masochistic. That is what BDSM is all about. Bondage/Discipline, D/s, Sado/Masochism. You can be masochistic and not be anything but a bottom. Maybe you don't like to be submissive or slave, but love to have the crap beat out of you. Maybe your not a Dominant/Top but maybe you love to have the crap beaten out of you. Maybe your a bottom, sub/slave but have a really sadistic mind and love to beat the crap out of someone. Same goes for Doms/Tops. I know in the group that I belong to, that some bottoms, subs/slaves like the idea that the Top they are about to play with knows what those toys are like and what they can do. Sometimes have to wonder how anyone can strike a whip, swing a flogger, or any of the other three thousand things we do without knowing what kind of impact that could make on another person. I know as a Top, exactly how all of my toys feel that I have and use on others. Everything down to the needles, etc. Did I enjoy them? Some of them I did, some of them I wouldn't ever want again. But that makes it where I understand what that bottom is going through, what kind of endorphins it's kicking in, etc. I know that a bottom will go down harder during a needle play than they will with a furry flogger. I know that endorphins kick in harder and faster with needles than knife play. I know how long fire needs to stay on a body before it starts to do damage. I know how hot wax should be without creating burns. All of this I know because of experiencing these things for myself. Does it make me any less of a Dominant? No. Not by any means. Because what I like to do or have done to me does not make me Dominant. What makes me Dominant is my control. And not my control over others, but my control over me. I believe that to be Dominant, you have to be in total control of yourself before your in control of others. You have to be able to control your thoughts, speech and actions. Getting up and pounding the chest and saying "I'm Dominant, bow before me" Well that just doesn't cut it. Now, with reading other comments, Domme is not a word. Domme was created online to I assume define the difference between male and female Tops. But I am a female Dominant, or Dom for short. As for Old Guard, it is not so much a BDSM term, but a leather term. They refer to Old Guard back in the day when the leather groups were forming. Leather actually originated after WW2, when the men came home after so long being with other men and needed some place to go. They formed biker groups to have a place to go and be joined together. It was started then that you had to start at the bottom and work your way up to the top. It was by the things you did for your community and for who you belonged to (which a lot of times weren't pleasant) to finally earn your title as Daddy or Sir. Then eventually they worked themselves up to become Masters if they chose to do so. But this was only by being recognized as such within their community and peers. Now there is New Guard, Emerging Guard, etc. Hope that this helps clear up some confusion.

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 8:42:29 PM

stef

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quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

I know several people who identify as a dominant who also bottom occasionally. Bottoming has nothing to do with submission.

I think you are exactly right here.

All right-minded people do

~stef

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/1/2006 8:54:29 PM

MistressSassy66

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I have taken a flogging or paddleing.
And it is something that I like but only on My behind.
I can not be bound other than Me holding ropes for support.
I tell them where to hit and how hard...so in My eyes its not giving up control or
letting them think they can take total control and try to make Me submit(the so called turning the tables).I dont think bottoming equals submission,but I do think that some see it that way,so I guess thats why I stay in charge.

Is that topping from the bottom or bottoming from the top?

I say its just a way that I release some stress.

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/2/2006 5:31:35 AM

bigdaninwi

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First of all - Thank you for a great question.

If we agree to a basic definition of Domination as:

Definition:

[Domination] is the desire to exert control over a consenting partner for the purpose of mutual gratification.

Different Loving, p. 77
Brame, Brame, and Jacobs
Published by Villard Books

Within this definition, I would say becoming a demo bottom or recieving a flogging would be an act of submission. I enjoy all aspects of exploration and gratification. My internal strength allows me to take back control and my submissive enjoys taking a little control. In the end it's what we enjoy. I am still the dom..she is the sub..we have fun and grow fromt he experience. Screw the Labels and have fun.

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/2/2006 5:35:40 AM

Lordandmaster

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No, I don't think it's the same thing as being submissive, but you have to be aware that it's easily misunderstood. The subject has come up before and there seems to be a consensus on CM that few doms with any long-term experience have NEVER felt a flogger. I've bottomed once or twice with a slave and it was extremely relaxing because she did exactly what I wanted her to. So it was hardly the same thing as submitting. I've also flipped a couple of dommes who wanted to enjoy bottoming but had to be careful about whom they showed that side to.

All I'd say is don't worry about your own choices, but don't show sides of yourself to people who aren't capable of understanding them. They don't deserve to know if they're only going to misunderstand. Find someone who flogs you well and doesn't wag his tongue.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Carameldomme

Do you believe that being on the receiving end of a flogging (or a spanking, or whatever) indicates submissiveness or potential submissiveness? Does it compromise one's dominance?

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/2/2006 6:13:45 AM

MrrPete

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quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

im just saying some as a non masachist that takes spankings as dicsapline not for plessure that if Im gunna be punished with someing if a Dom has felt it he knows how it feels and is better able to deside what to use for the right amount of discapline a well as other reasons

The fallacy of this policy is that I have no idea how a flogger feels to you no matter how many times I let someone flog me.
When I ask someone to flog me I tell them exactly which muscle to concentrate on for theraputic reasons. ONLY you know how an impliment feels to YOU and you have to communicate that to me.

Pain is relative not subjective. My level 5 maybe level 8 to you or ,god forbid, the other way around.

I have to learn how to use any implement on you and adjust to your level of play/pain. Up to a certain point pain is pleasure. Beyond that point it is unpleasant. That point is different on everyone. I like to play on the pleasure side of that point and I've developed a method, for me, to find that point. By the way that point moves and I have to be very aware of that during a session.

I should mention I don't practice corporal punishment.

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/2/2006 8:55:31 AM

ExSteelAgain

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I find it interesting that while all of us say there is nothing wrong with a Dom being flogged or whatever in the quest for knowledge, that most of the male Doms, myself included, say we don’t do it. LOL. Sure we may give ourselves a swat on the leg to feel a new toy, but we are not into being flogged for research purposes.

This reluctance is because D/s is much more than sensation play. It is a mind set, order and emotional drive. The symbolism of the Dom being flogged bothers the Dom and sub. Sure I can reason that being flogged to feel the sensation is nothing more than a technical procedure, but that is denying the dynamics, structure and symbolism of D/s relationships.

(You guys know me well by now and know that I mean no offense to any Dom who is flogged now and then....or to switches for that matter.)

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