RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging?

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RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/2/2006 10:50:15 AM

MissDeb

Posts: 9
Joined: 1/30/2006
Status: offline

Allow Me to interject a true story. A Domme whom I was mentoring after providing Her with a submissive whom I had trained with the intent of giving her to a fine upstanding Mistress compatible with her, did the unthinkable. She left the sub in the hands of a friend Dom for the night without any other supervision. The following day I was informed that the sub had endured without complaint a hard flogging while the Dom was in a very intoxicated condition. She was not hurt physically, other than the stripes which would heal quickly, but the result could have been much worse. As punishment, I forced the sub to watch as her new Mistress was flogged by a skilled friend (She took 40 stripes) before using Her safeword. {NOTE: I also was seeking to teach the sub that the safeword is just that; used when one is moving into a dangerous or difficult situation overwhich they have no other control.} Then, the sub was given the duty of applying healing lotions to her Mistress, and caring for Her through the night. The result: a strong enduring relationship that has lasted to this day {some 12 years). Needless to say, nothing like the above ever occurred again and the Domme in question has thanked Me several times for the lesson. I understand this is not exactly your particular situation. But it shows that a Domme can indeed submit to a flogging without losing their dominance in the eyes of others. Of course, there are always those Dom/mes who've not felt the instrument which they use so freely and may sense that to do so would be a sign of weakness. My training taught Me that to best understand how to use an instrument be it one of pleasure or of punishment, their sensations must be felt to the fullest on a personal basis. May wisdom guide you...Madam White Jade

(in reply to Carameldomme)

Post #: 41

RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/2/2006 1:50:27 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

MissDeb, I like that story and even better yet, the outcome.

Sooooooo, who is flying into Iowa City to eduuumacate lil ole ME??? hmmmmmmmmmmm???

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MissDeb)

Post #: 42

RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/2/2006 2:23:24 PM

mp072004

Posts: 381
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline

ExSteelAgain, you wrote that "the symbolism of the Dom being flogged bothers the Dom and sub." What does being flogged symbolize?

You also note that many dominant men say they don't bottom. I agree. I'm not convinced that this means that many dominant men don't bottom. It seems that dominant men aren't keen on advertising their masochistic or otherwise bottomy experience and desires. I have been approached by more than one dominant man who wanted to bottom. Granted, a few of these were initial online communications and that can be dubious, but others were people I have generally found reliable, who may have approached me partly out of personal attraction to me, but likely did not approach me because they merely wanted attention. There were different approaches--some wanted me to hurt them for instruction, others wanted to get hurt in a neutral SM scene, and still others wanted to call the shots with me as a service top. A dear male friend, a very competent dominant, not only wanted to bottom, but wanted to submit to me in a very pushy SM scene. In all the above cases, the men concerned wanted our play to be kept very, very private. I can't imagine that I just attract secretive men.

Monica

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Post #: 43

RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/2/2006 2:33:06 PM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mp072004

ExSteelAgain, you wrote that "the symbolism of the Dom being flogged bothers the Dom and sub." What does being flogged symbolize?

You also note that many dominant men say they don't bottom. I agree. I'm not convinced that this means that many dominant men don't bottom. It seems that dominant men aren't keen on advertising their masochistic or otherwise bottomy experience and desires. I have been approached by more than one dominant man who wanted to bottom. Granted, a few of these were initial online communications and that can be dubious, but others were people I have generally found reliable, who may have approached me partly out of personal attraction to me, but likely did not approach me because they merely wanted attention. There were different approaches--some wanted me to hurt them for instruction, others wanted to get hurt in a neutral SM scene, and still others wanted to call the shots with me as a service top. A dear male friend, a very competent dominant, not only wanted to bottom, but wanted to submit to me in a very pushy SM scene. In all the above cases, the men concerned wanted our play to be kept very, very private. I can't imagine that I just attract secretive men.

Monica

Monica, mp07, being flogged symbolizes submission is my point. As I said, I realize it is a touchy subject. I noted that the many of the Dom men posting had never bottomed or whatever. I'm not saying it is right for all, but I do bring out the dynamic of the symbolism. For me, D/s is not all sensation play, but it is a combination of the symbolic, physical and mental. Whether any the Doms are doing it and keeping it quiet, is beyond the scope of my remarks. I dunno.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to mp072004)

Post #: 44

RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/2/2006 5:43:01 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

I was once the live-in slave to a very seriously sought out professional dominant woman. During our relationship, she actually did a special on HBO where she took a flogging. For the longest time, she didn't want me to see it because she thought it would make me think less of her. Well, she finally allowed me to see it, and it didn't make me think any less of her. Kind of made me kind of hot...hmm, kind of making me hot right now just thinking of it...gotta go get some water.....

(in reply to Carameldomme)

Post #: 45

RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/2/2006 6:57:27 PM

bluelace001

Posts: 62
Joined: 6/7/2006
Status: offline

I know several Dominants that are masocist too. So yes they do *bottom* but they don't submit. They are still in control when recieving the pain. Not all Dominants have the mindset to allow themselves to be topped even if they have the control due to the misconception that it makes them less domly. Fact is Dominant are people and they can be masocist too, just as a submissive can be a sadist or they can be both sadist and masocist.
They are 4 different entities. <hopes i spelled that one right>. I am collared to a man who is a Dominant/sadist. He would not bottom because he has no desire for the pain. It would do nothing for him. However giving pain does. There are some Dominants that are not either, masocist or sadist, they are just dominant. It's easier to understand when you simply break it down. Dominant is just that , Dominant. Submissive is just that, submissive. Sadist is just that, sadist. And Masocist is just that masocist. You and be more then one, but each is it's own thing. Hope that helps.
bluelace_V
(property of Viper_001)

(in reply to Carameldomme)

Post #: 46

RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/2/2006 9:04:25 PM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

Wow, I can't believe this thread. My, my, my how things have changed and for the better.
I can be a bottom to please a partner, but need to be Captain in a relationship. Even
though, I am pretty open, I normally would have been afraid to admit this here. I think
I did put in my profile I could be a switch, but could never be a submissive in a relationship.

The thing I have gotten from so many subs in the past is they are deathly afraid of guys
posing as Doms just to get laid, so anything a guy says that in any way puts him
in another light can ruin his image with many subs. So, guys have to be careful.

I would thnk a female Domme has less to fear about ruining her rep, but I could be wrong.

--Michael

(in reply to Carameldomme)

Post #: 47

RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/2/2006 9:10:55 PM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

I also think having been a bottom on occasion, makes me a better top because
I know what different things feel like, and know a bottom might like to experience.

I think some male bottoms have done to them, what they would really
like to do to a female.

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 48

RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/3/2006 3:03:34 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bluelace001

I know several Dominants that are masocist too. So yes they do *bottom* but they don't submit. They are still in control when recieving the pain. Not all Dominants have the mindset to allow themselves to be topped even if they have the control due to the misconception that it makes them less domly. Fact is Dominant are people and they can be masocist too, just as a submissive can be a sadist or they can be both sadist and masocist.
They are 4 different entities. <hopes i spelled that one right>. I am collared to a man who is a Dominant/sadist. He would not bottom because he has no desire for the pain. It would do nothing for him. However giving pain does. There are some Dominants that are not either, masocist or sadist, they are just dominant. It's easier to understand when you simply break it down. Dominant is just that , Dominant. Submissive is just that, submissive. Sadist is just that, sadist. And Masocist is just that masocist. You and be more then one, but each is it's own thing. Hope that helps.
bluelace_V
(property of Viper_001)

Actually, I don't have a problem with what you said here and, actually, think it sums it up well. I just pointed out the symbolic aspects of the Dom bottoming may have other connotations that work against the D/s dynamic. Of course, you put it back in a physical perspective by saying the desire for pain can crosss both sides of the D/s pair. Thanks and I can readily see that is possible.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to bluelace001)

Post #: 49

RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/3/2006 4:21:00 AM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Carameldomme

Do you believe that being on the receiving end of a flogging (or a spanking, or whatever) indicates submissiveness or potential submissiveness? Does it compromise one's dominance?

Absolutely not. I am masochistic as well as sadistic, but there isn't much submission in me. When I bottom it's with people who have no problem "co topping" me and who agrees that we are both invested in getting me where I want to go. I don't bottom to tops that need submission (it would suck for both of us).

No, bottoming does not necessarily equal submission.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to Carameldomme)

Post #: 50

RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/3/2006 6:07:13 PM

HayaSierra

Posts: 119
Joined: 4/7/2005
From: In Georgia
Status: offline

(Fast reply)
I felt both sides of the proverbial rope and I don't care how this affects anyone who knows of it. For me it was educational, interesting, and it helped me understand things (and myself) a lot better. And yes, I will admit, some of it is even kind of fun. My slaves actually have a MUCH better appreciation of me for having the humility to have gone through things like that in order to be better educated and to have a more broad sense of understanding. What other Dominants think of me is of no concern to me. For me it is the same as writing a book on world cultures by either reading a book about it or by traveling the world and living with the locals for a while. One is definately the better way of the two to get experience and understanding, but most would not be willing to go to such efforts. Nor are they required to do so. I am me, and this is how I chose to learn. End of discussion.

_____________________________

Haya Sierra
Haya Of Ka Azdor Estate --
http://groups.msn.com/Domsub/
Basic Information about the Hanian System of D/s

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Post #: 51

RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/4/2006 6:31:40 PM

DantesSlavegirl

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

d

< Message edited by DantesSlavegirl -- 8/4/2006 6:32:11 PM >

(in reply to HayaSierra)

Post #: 52

RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/4/2006 6:33:32 PM

DanteMalo

Posts: 10
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

Hey. great topic.
While I am a Dom, was born a Dom, always will be a Dom, back about 10 years ago, I decided that it was no affront to either my masculinity, nor my status as a Dom, to know what it felt like to sub. I knew a very nice switch woman who lived in my hometown, and had always casually joked about it with me. The idea intrigued me, because I have always believed in first hand experience, and as Dom, I was in a position of responsibility to know exactly what it was I was making a sub or slavegirl feel.
Responsibility. That's what made me say yes. How could I ever know, really, what I was talking about if I had not at least once experienced this? It was intense. she went slowly. I am glad! Afterwards we had a cigarette and talked about it. I think she respected me more for my open mindedness about it. I woudln't do it again, and bottming is definitely not for me, but I am glad I took the chance to know what it was like down there. I have no regrets. Doms in fear of their manhood, or their masculinity, or their public personas (sp?) to me, are Dom's with holes in their game. Being comfortable with yourself, and knowing and accepting what you truly are, is essential to the air of relaxed intensity that is needed for proper training of a sub or slave. Of course this is all only my opinion, but I have been doing this sucessfully for over 20 years, and I always learn more every time. It is possibly more of a learning experience for me than any sub or slave I might train.
Love,

DM

(in reply to DantesSlavegirl)

Post #: 53

RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/4/2006 7:14:58 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

Did once.. but I was so focused on technique that the Dom stopped after 15 minutes saying he couldn't "break through my top space".

That's when I learned that I could make Dom's cry :)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Carameldomme)

Post #: 54

RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/4/2006 7:22:28 PM

MsReginasslave

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline

No, but i have certainly known some who NEEDED a flogging!!

(in reply to MissDeb)

Post #: 55

RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/5/2006 8:59:26 AM

MistressMollie

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

There are many out there, that get flogged. I for instance is One of them. I dont have a submissive bone in My body, but love the feel of the leather as it kisses My skin. It is also another way of earning your leathers. Knowing what your sub is going through for having gone through it yourself. No I dont believe that just because you like to be flogged that makes you sub. It's merely something you enjoy. You know with in Your heart whether your sub or dominant.
Just like Myself, and as I have stated...I do NOT have a sub bone in My body. I could never bring Myself to say Master/Mistress. I couldnt kneel infront of them and feel...it was right for Me. For Me to do so, would deny Me of what is truely My natrue....Dominant.

(in reply to Carameldomme)

Post #: 56

RE: Have you know a Dom/me to take a flogging? - 8/5/2006 1:17:06 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressMollie

Knowing what your sub is going through for having gone through it yourself.

We often see this sentiment.

Unless we are flogging ourselves, we will NEVER know how it feels to be a submissive under OUR OWN hand. At best we only know what it feels like being under the whip of THAT person doing the flogging.

But point taken :)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to MistressMollie)

Post #: 57

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