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RE: a little problem... - 8/2/2006 3:04:07 AM

GoddessRedCat

Posts: 34
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline

I agree that you should move closer to your family, and live by yourself or with a roommate-friend. When you get lonely have yourself a body pillow, a BOB (battery operated boyfriend), some clothespins, and make sure your gal pals are at the ready for chick flicks-dancing-roller skating whatever makes you happy. When you are happy with yourself, someone will come along that will fit you entirely. Or at least I hope so.... :)

Cat

(in reply to Sunshine119)

Post #: 41

RE: a little problem... - 8/2/2006 3:47:51 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

Son of a gun. I mean this is a joke post, right? The whole scenario is too much.

PS....this is in response to the original post.

< Message edited by ExSteelAgain -- 8/2/2006 3:49:16 AM >

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to GoddessRedCat)

Post #: 42

RE: a little problem... - 8/2/2006 6:00:57 AM

KennelDeSade2

Posts: 210
Joined: 9/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pebbleskajira
Now, inadvertantly, i got another offer to serve another Master, who has a squared away life (not a paperboy) and is offering me a job, a place to live, training (which my Master has never done--weird). It seems like the better option, honestly, but i feel really bad about going kinda sorta behind Master's back about it--even though He looks for other slaves.
So...any suggestions? Help!

The whole OP was so wrong, on so many levels, that I'll take what I consider the worst point and I'll comment, but not offer advice. Nobody ever really wants advice anyway.
How is it that offers like that get made, but the person who recieves the offer never stops to question any of the following?
Is calling a frantic hunt "inadvertant" being honest with yourself, and if you can't start out being honest, where do you expect it to take you?
When considering the newest DomSavAho, what is different about the newest white knight compaired to the last one that you are dumping?
How good can some TopDomMaster be if he is offering to compensate you for being there? Would you stay for just the money and perks?
Does anybody who sneaks around behind the back of their current, believe that the behavior won't be remembered by the new guy in the future?
Why does flying from mistake to mistake offeer such appeal, when getting ones self together and thinking about ways to avoid the same mistakes
is the only method that holds any promise at all of breaking the cycle of growing disasters that moving from one DomLovely to the next?

_____________________________

Rules? Just one: I say, she does.
Everything else, is just details.

(in reply to pebbleskajira)

Post #: 43

RE: a little problem... - 8/2/2006 6:39:58 AM

peasantsub

Posts: 15
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

start by being responsible for yourself... and make your own decision. You don't need anyone to tell you what you should do... especially based on what you have shared

i agree completely, i have looked at all the responses to this, and everyone seems to be in judgement of Him or her. She has only given some basic info as to what is going and and none of us know "the rest of the story."

Safety sounds to be a major issue at her current residence. That does not mean that it would be safer, nor does it mean that it wouldn't be safer at her family's. As for judging her ability to choose a Dom, None of us were there when He was trying to intice her into His realm, so we don't know why she chose Him, nor does it matter.

What does matter is her happiness in her life, and only she can decide that.

Based on what she said in her post, she sounds like she is strong enough to know she no longer needs to be where she is currently, and there is nothing wrong with moving on to a Dom who sees the current problem and can offer training and safety. I didn't see anywhere in her post that she was going to be collared by the new Dom. Just that He was offering her a job, a place to live, and training. Training does not constitute ownership.

There is not a single one of us that has not in some way been in the same situation, a Dom that wasn't what He promised, a slave that was not what she promised, probably both new to the lifestyle, or maybe just maybe He feels that it is her job as a slave to financially support Him and take care of Him. *am not talking the safety issues*

Let He without fault cast the first stone at her, and there isn't a one of us that is without fault in our judgement somewhere. Not a one of us choose our lifelong Dom or slave on the first try, just like in the nilla world, a spouse isn't chosen the very first time a person goes on their very first date in life. We live and we learn. We learn best from our mistakes. I agree that no matter if you are Dom or slave, a "rebound" relationship isn't the best option, but there is nothing wrong with letting a Dom offer shelter, job, and training how else will she learn. He can train and protect her while she seeks her Master. Yes that could lead to Him becoming her Master for life, but none of us know that at this point, or He can simply be doing what He offered her, safety, job, training.

You need to make your own decision as to what you want to do in this case, as there is not a one of us that has to live with the decision that you make and it determine our happiness as our happiness is within our own hands just as it is within yours. I am not sure who gave you the advise as to talking to the paper route supervisor about this issue but I'm sure that if you tell them what is going on and tell them honestly, then i would think that they would let you out of your contract without penality.

This is just my humble opinion, but i would seriously think about what is going to make YOU truely happy and follow YOUR heart.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 44

RE: a little problem... - 8/2/2006 9:49:47 AM

liljoy

Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
Status: offline

wow except for the ex wife part this is soo what i just got out of. well add in almost ten grand in debit and a cleaned out savings account. i am on my own now and doing much better off for it. i am exploring different BDSM relationships to find the fit best for me. i can promises you that an unclean non working bum will NEVER be in my future again
lil_joy

(in reply to Sunshine119)

Post #: 45

RE: a little problem... - 8/2/2006 10:15:20 AM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

I think this goes back to the subject of the Dom being "responsible" and "protective" of his sub or slave.
This guy has abrogated his responsibilities in many ways.
Like some in here have already mentioned, if he can't Master his own life how is he supposed to be a Master to a sub or slave?

(in reply to liljoy)

Post #: 46

RE: a little problem... - 8/2/2006 10:25:51 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

I'm not 'getting' kajira here but you use the lable, or at least your profile does so I'll take it at face value.

If you ARE kajira... what you are describing ISN'T a Man. Barely an excuse for one. Get the hell out, shape yourself up, find the fire in your belly and look for a Master not a child!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to pebbleskajira)

Post #: 47

RE: a little problem... - 8/2/2006 12:33:25 PM

trixr4kids

Posts: 18
Joined: 7/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JessieMe

Ok.. first.. you list yourself as a kajira.. so.. you are Gorean?? if so.. why dont you post this on the Gorean forum and see what they think you should do.

Second. you are twenty years old and frustrated with your boyfriend. Every issue you have posted here is a vanilla relationship issue.. What makes you think dumping one boyfriend to jump into a relationship with someone else is the answer? And does the second one know you are collared to the first.. if so.. how honorable is he for even tempting you to sneak around behind Dom #1's back? If he will do it WITH you.. what makes you think he wont do it TO you in the future?

If you want to get my best advice, leave them both.. get some perspective on YOUR life and then when you have it figured out.. look for a partner to share it with.

I agree with what's said here. Go back to your home as a single person. If this other Dom is not an abuser or just trying to trap you or something he'll be willing to court you while you are not dependant on him.
I think it would be really bad to go from one to the other in it self as you won't have time to adjust to not being in the one bad relationship you're in now & you need to resolve your anger issues ect... before you'll be able to sttrat a healthy new relationship. If you jump from one bed to another you'll be bringing unresolved frustration and issues you have with the current situation into this new relationship.

(in reply to JessieMe)

Post #: 48

RE: a little problem... - 8/2/2006 1:07:17 PM

PlayfulOne

Posts: 1047
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain

Son of a gun. I mean this is a joke post, right? The whole scenario is too much.

PS....this is in response to the original post.

That sums up my thoughts

K

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Post #: 49

RE: a little problem... - 8/2/2006 1:22:37 PM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

I'm sorry to say this, but if someone is asking what to do in a situation like this, they are beyond hopelessly indecisive. I mean, if your Master had just one of those issues, you could ask. But ALL of those? And you need to ask what to do?

Honestly, if you need to ask at this point, you will not listen to our advice either. If your situation is that bad and you haven't left, us telling you to get out won't make the difference.

It's like a guy threatening suicide. If he's ranting and raving about it, threatening that if this or that doesn't happen, he'll kill himself, well, chances are good he won't.

I say it's a pity ploy, or drama at best, real situation at worst, but no matter what it is, oohing and aahing over it won't help.

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to PlayfulOne)

Post #: 50

RE: a little problem... - 8/2/2006 1:27:17 PM

IndigoDadesi

Posts: 185
Status: offline

My advice is the same as everyone elses. Dont let him follow you. Break your contract with him. This guys sounds like bad news from your side of the story.

Of course if the situation is more complicated than you have made it out to be (like if youre in love with him for example) then you need to talk to him about whats going on. It sounds to me like he could use some pro-help, as in councilling.

As for the other guy, the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side of the fence. But thats not saying that it wont be a better situation for you, if you have a genuine connection with this new guy. And if you do, begin cultivating a true relationship with him, take it slow. Just dont jump into something if you dont know what you are getting yourself into.

_____________________________

'"Where do we go when we die?" asks Billy. "I don't know. Where are we now?" is the gypsy's reply.'

(in reply to Sunshine119)

Post #: 51

RE: a little problem... - 8/2/2006 1:29:53 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

uhm hon, you don't have one problem, you have a few--starting with a R-E-A-L-I-T-Y check--helloooo???

you are starving to death in the dark, but I bet his rocks get off daily---and you want to go from pillar to post?

Go home, get your life and act together--you are as far from another relationship as the moon is to earth right now--tell "Master" buh bye, buh bye now and get your life together.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to pebbleskajira)

Post #: 52

RE: a little problem... - 8/2/2006 3:25:53 PM

sophia37

Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline

Are you trying to live off a paper route income? My first reaction to this post was that its made up. But Im trying to be open minded here. If I were to take this serisouly I would highly suggest you go somewhere else. If you can go home then do it. If not, then how bout go to college? You sound industrious and willing to work/learn. Theres plenty of grantss to be had for shcool. Then you get away from where you are and learn and see new things.

(in reply to pebbleskajira)

Post #: 53

RE: a little problem... - 8/2/2006 3:34:39 PM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterKalif

If he cant respect himself, if he cant have his own "house in order" how can he expect to take care of you and other slaves you say he is looking for?

i would venture to say he is looking for other "slaves" so that they will take care of him. Not a quality i would personally look for in a dom.

(in reply to MasterKalif)

Post #: 54

RE: a little problem... - 8/2/2006 4:11:44 PM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain

Son of a gun. I mean this is a joke post, right? The whole scenario is too much.

PS....this is in response to the original post.

quote:

That sums up my thoughts

Mine as well - I just cannot believe this is for real

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to PlayfulOne)

Post #: 55

RE: a little problem... - 8/3/2006 9:53:55 PM

MasterKalif

Posts: 648
Joined: 5/24/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterKalif

If he cant respect himself, if he cant have his own "house in order" how can he expect to take care of you and other slaves you say he is looking for?

i would venture to say he is looking for other "slaves" so that they will take care of him. Not a quality i would personally look for in a dom.

velvetears, you are right, I didnt consider that option....I can't believe this guy doesn't shower either!

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 56

RE: a little problem... - 8/3/2006 10:09:06 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

Yeah, well... she did say she's worthless. I guess you get what you deserve, yes?

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich

(in reply to MasterKalif)

Post #: 57

RE: a little problem... - 8/4/2006 7:43:22 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

Hi All,
Some of these posts in this forum have just floored me.
For all of you who don't think these kind of financially destitute households exist I say wake up. Count your blessings it's not happened to you as you can't even see it is possible and common these days. Have empathy for a change instead of this holyier than thou attitude I see here.
I know quite a few of my 22 yr old daughters friends who also have these leach dead beat dad/boyfriends that don't even have a paper route. This woman loves him & is suffering. This woman is caught in a bad deal and you mock her. She states she's working two jobs and found him this crappy one and people say no way she's managing. Well how about she's doing the best she can and you guys embarrass me for attacking her for it.

She didn't bear her heart here to have it poked & we should try and give constructive advise or none at all.
Suzanne

< Message edited by onestandingstill -- 8/4/2006 7:46:19 AM >

(in reply to pebbleskajira)

Post #: 58

RE: a little problem... - 8/4/2006 7:54:06 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Sometimes tough love is the way to go................

Let's clip the bullshit about love conquers all and wise her up.

Shit is shit, if you wanna send it a valentines day card and speak poetry of it all day, when everybody else wakes up it is going to be shit.

Yes, MasterBater doesn't have the brains of a fuckin' ice cube and he is still sticking the virginia of the next door ex all the time, but that's why he can't get a job, so it's my fault. But think of the pride she must feel withstanding this all for love.

Perhaps her love and passion for the man will eventually make him see the light.

A womans love is powerful, not omnipotent.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Post #: 59

RE: a little problem... - 8/4/2006 7:58:10 AM

raiken

Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline

You know what? After all the advice is given, at the end of the day...you are still going to do what you set your intentions on doing no matter what any of us say.

But, i will offer my thoughts anyway...cuz i am the one who clicked on your thread. *grinz

You seem to me like a little girl who hasn't a clue, so rather than tell you to grow up on your own, for you may truly need a guide or mentor who DOES have his shit together and can teach you a thing or 5, i say go with the Master, take his offer and for god sakes, LEARN something!

If for nothing else, learn how NOT to get yourself in such a screwed up situation in the first place, get some esteem and self value under your belt, and learn how to control those urges or impulses that can get you in trouble. Learn to do right by and for yourself, as this will help you to do right by others as well. Good luck to you..

~raiken

(in reply to pebbleskajira)

Post #: 60

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