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Collaring - 12/13/2004 8:11:04 AM   
dom4woman


Posts: 4
Joined: 12/4/2004
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I just would like to know. I have collared a slave at least twice now. I have heard that if I collar her three times that in the lifestyle its a marriage. I was told from her that it has to be three different collars. Is this correct
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RE: Collaring - 12/13/2004 8:20:24 AM   
GoddessJules


Posts: 549
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As long as the third collaring is followed by "double dutch" style jump roping for *at LEAST* five minutes and then taking 352ccs of frog leg tea.

The council has deemed that this is the *only* way such a ceremony would be considered valid.

_____________________________

A pig's pussy is still pork, just like a bull's balls are still beef.
Click here to visit my site

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RE: Collaring - 12/13/2004 8:36:32 AM   
EStrict


Posts: 729
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If you were *told* that, you should ask the person who told you. Honestly, to many the FIRST collaring is the marriage, so you would be married, divorced, married, and if she isn't in your collar at present divorced while looking to marry her again.

Then again, to some, collars are just jewelry, and you aren't *married* for giving jewelry 3 times, though if you GIVE it, do you take it back or give her NEW ones?

I am going to guess you learned most of this stuff online, since this sounds like more online *isms*,,,, so my suggestion is you find some local RL places and meet other people and see how things work in real life for others...

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to GoddessJules)
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RE: Collaring - 12/13/2004 9:35:30 AM   
INSIDEYOURMIND


Posts: 483
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Jules,

You completely forgot the proper moon phasing, and the super secret handshake!

And it also depends on if the collaring was done on a leap year!



_____________________________

If I got smart with you.................
How would you know?

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RE: Collaring - 12/13/2004 9:43:53 AM   
GoddessJules


Posts: 549
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quote:

Jules,

You completely forgot the proper moon phasing, and the super secret handshake!

And it also depends on if the collaring was done on a leap year!


Aye! I must humbly admit that I haven't done the "Thrid time around" collaring ceremony in a good 52 years so my memory of the protocols involved are a bit rusty. Mea culpa. I forgot to add the clause in which - if the participants are unable to do the "double dutch" stype jump rope. . .they may substitute the "hop scotch."

Jules

_____________________________

A pig's pussy is still pork, just like a bull's balls are still beef.
Click here to visit my site

(in reply to INSIDEYOURMIND)
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RE: Collaring - 12/13/2004 11:23:07 AM   
Hawkins


Posts: 31
Joined: 10/14/2004
From: I'm English but I live in the Netherlands
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Mmmm... it's the 'Great Book of Dom' being quoted at you, I am sure. Sounds like something out of 3rd Collaring 1:1; "And when takest thou a collar to the neck of a slave thrice, then thou are bound".

It's not about rules, it's about feelings.

Do as thou wilt.

_____________________________

People living in glass paradigms shouldn't throw stones...

(in reply to GoddessJules)
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RE: Collaring - 12/13/2004 12:17:02 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
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dom4woman,

I explicitly said when you picked up your "Grand Master" guide book for high performance training and submissive protocol that you NOT suppose to disclose ANY of the secrets, copy protected ceremonies, or patent pending rope tricks. Being that this disclosure is in direct violation of the terms of the contract you must now come back to Redondo Pier and leave another $100,000.00 in the trash can at corner of the Esplanade and Avenue I. Failure to do so may jeopardize your "Grand Master" status and prevent you from obtaining permanent "Grand Master" status once your 90-Day probationary period concludes.

And for the rest of you looking for something to purchase for the "Grand Master" in your life, I'm offering some last minute Holiday 'close out' specials....

"Invisible Salve" - $575.00/jar - Great for covering up all those bruises from heavy 'on-line' sessions.
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And the Discount 'Book-Bin' all for 75% off the cover price....
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EMPEROR MERC


Due to construction on the Esplanade parking is at a premium. My loss is your opportunity. Just in time for the Holidays and ONLY for the next 20 days you can be a "Grand Master" for ONLY $49,999.99!! That's right over 50% off! You can't afford NOT to be a "Grand Master" at this price!

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 12/13/2004 12:44:01 PM >

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RE: Collaring - 12/13/2004 12:23:43 PM   
dom4woman


Posts: 4
Joined: 12/4/2004
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I was asking a simple question here. Has anyone really heard of anything like this?

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RE: Collaring - 12/13/2004 12:25:05 PM   
dom4woman


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It was a simple question. It seems as tho you are having fun with this.

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RE: Collaring - 12/13/2004 12:26:23 PM   
INSIDEYOURMIND


Posts: 483
Status: offline
Ya know, I was one of the first to reply to this thread in a smart ass way, and while I was reading some of the other smart ass replies (which were all dam funny) I realized that subs out there have to deal with Doms of this nature.

I say to all the "newbie" Doms out there, don't take the training wheels off until you are sure you can ride!

And to all the subbies, I don't envy your having to weed through the beginners.


_____________________________

If I got smart with you.................
How would you know?

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RE: Collaring - 12/13/2004 12:33:17 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dom4woman

I was asking a simple question here. Has anyone really heard of anything like this?



I think they did answer it, albiet in a silly way.

There's no universal "protocol." If you want to say "I collar you three times with three collars and that means we're married" good for you. To others, one formal collaring ceremony is marriage. To others, collars are simply a form of power exchange commitment. To others, they're pretty decorations.

If someone told you that the three collar thing is a universal bdsm tradition, they misled you. No such thing.

The other responses were saying just that--that someone was trying to sell you on a mystical, magical set of practices that turns power exchange into a secret club. Do what works for you and your partner.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to dom4woman)
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RE: Collaring - 12/13/2004 12:43:34 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

It was a simple question. It seems as tho you are having fun with this.


I'm sorry - It's Monday, and I had to entertain a vanilla person as a guest in my house this weekend. As a consequence, I think I'll go home early and punish beth.

Seriously, I've never heard of the "Three Collar Rule". Since your sub brought it up you may want to get the details from her. If not - take advantage of the 'special' I'm offering for my "Grand Master" guide. ALL the answers are in there.

EMPEROR MERC

(in reply to dom4woman)
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RE: Collaring - 12/13/2004 1:15:38 PM   
MistressFire70


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline
I've heard lots of differnt takes on protocol, but haven't heard this one. I'm not terribly familiar with Gor (being a Free Woman and all) so it might have been taken from there. I do know of people that give collars in levels or for specific time periods, though.

To me, it sounds like she's hinting for that step. Sit and talk with her about where the protocol or idea came from. Ask if she's looking to get married, especially if you're not; it might be an indicator of a miscommunication.

Some questions might be: What did the other two collarings mean to each of you? Why did you feel it's necessary to give multiple collars (I can think of several reason why you might)? Does each of you have a clear understanding of the multiple collar system (have you written it out, or perhaps, created rituals around them)?

After you've answered these questions and talked to her about the whole idea of marriage (or not), then you'll be better of in your Ds or Ms relationship.

Fire


_____________________________

you have come to a great chasm. Jump. It's not as wide as you think.

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RE: Collaring - 12/13/2004 2:26:37 PM   
EStrict


Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I'm not terribly familiar with Gor (being a Free Woman and all) so it might have been taken from there.


Strange comment, since the term free woman is Gorean. If you are not Gorean, they you are just not Gorean. Anyway, no, this is not Gorean. In the books to marry someone who was a slave, you had to free them first. Regardless, you only collared once. Like I said, it sounds like just another online thing....

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to MistressFire70)
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RE: Collaring - 12/13/2004 2:48:05 PM   
dom4woman


Posts: 4
Joined: 12/4/2004
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Thank you mistress fire. It seems as though you were the only one that even tried to answer with a straight face. As for inside your mind: Yes I am a newbie to the dom role and have been a good one at it as well. Just was not familiar with the terms of three collarings. Smart ass answers really do not impress me all that much. Thanks anyways
Thank you very much again Mistress fire. I came here to try and get a question answered. You seemed to have helped in that respect. My best wishes to you on this fine day.

(in reply to MistressFire70)
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RE: Collaring - 12/13/2004 4:35:09 PM   
Suleiman


Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
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The auntie that initiated me informed me quite seriously that a submissive is not permanently owned until the entire clique comes together as a circle, the submissive is publicly branded by the would-be owner (or by their protector if an intermediary has been used to broker the sale). The fire for heating the brinding iron would need to be built from cedar and lignum aloes, and a goat must first be sacraficed, the blood spilled around the pillory, and the fat and entrails heaped upon the fire as it burned. After the branding ceremony, the goat would be quartered, a portion set aside for the community barbeque, and the reast heaped upon the fire as a peace offering to the horned man at the crossroads. Only then would the union be sanctified and considered valid.

Okay, just had to get that out of my system.

There is no universal set of rules or protocols. At best, you can follow the guidelines of your particular clique. Out here in the SF bay area, there are dozens of micro-cliques, which break down into little sub-communities, which more or less forms the gigantic morass of "THE SCENE". As has been pointed out elsewhere, there is no monolithic scene. As an overarching community, we can't even agree on basic principles of safety and ethical practice (although there tend to be broad areas of general agreement in these areas, but we still get bogged down arguing the details).

To tell the truth, marriage is marriage. Ownership is ownership. Adoption is adoption, legal guardianship is legal guardianship. Labels only matter if there's a legal entity keeping track of your status (the state or church, for instance) or you are a participating member in an active community, and so is your sub. The latter dosen't even matter so much, since communities break up, people move, and scenes fade.

Some folks marry their slave, some don't. Some folks undergo adult adoption or legal guardianship in order to have essentially the same rights and priveledges as a married couple without actually getting married. Most of the time, it's just a simple agreement between dominant and submissive. A collar is a collar. A gold ring is a gold ring. I have a gold ring. My firends, family, and community consider it to have been a token gesture, since everyone considered my wife and I to have been married for years prior to the ceremony. The state considered it a token gesture, since we were married when all of the paperwork was properly filed. I don't think that my marriage began when I exchanged rings with my wife. I consider my marriage to have begun the blessed second when she finally said yes.

Do you want to be married? Say yes. In a situation like this, the only rituals that matter are the ones you and your significant other agree to.

But it wouldn't hurt to have a barbeque and slaughter a goat, just to be safe.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to dom4woman)
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RE: Collaring - 12/13/2004 5:20:49 PM   
Malkinius


Posts: 1814
Joined: 1/9/2004
Status: offline
Greetings....

As EStrict said, there is nothing Gorean about it at all. For Goreans, if you collar a slave, she is property. Period. No marriage, no rights, just a piece of human property that is called a slave. From all I have read of BDSM that idea also falls under the bovine feces heading. That doesn't mean that someone didn't tell your sub that with a straight face. What it does mane is that you make up your own rules on what it means for the two of you.

Marriage is just that. A civil union between two people that in most places is one male and one female. Nothing else qualifies. If you want to marry her, or she you, and you agree, more power to the two of you. If you don't want to marry her, then the third collaring is just fluff. Fluff that I suggest you omit just in case she tries to hold you to that bit of amusement.

I do thank you for giving people here the chance to have a lot of fun with your question and yes, they did answer it very well, if in a backhanded manner. Enjoy the banter and the sub.

Be well....

Malkinius

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RE: Collaring - 12/14/2004 5:10:36 PM   
Kwix


Posts: 12
Joined: 10/26/2004
Status: offline
3 collars, 3 collars, where have I heard that before??? Ah, yes, here it is.

Collar of Consideration
Training Collar
Formal or slave Collar

Bit o'lore you can pick up on the 'net. Nothing I subscribe to as my sub's collar is only worn when in scene, but here you go. I am not going to post a link as the great oracle that is GOOGLE will hold the answers. This may or may not be what your sub was referring to. I belive the previous advice of "ask her and find out" is very much in order. Communication is the primary key to any good relationship, and downright life-friendly in a BDSM one.

(in reply to dom4woman)
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RE: Collaring - 12/14/2004 5:13:57 PM   
Kwix


Posts: 12
Joined: 10/26/2004
Status: offline
Sulieman,
quote:

which break down into little sub-communities,

And dom-communities too!!!

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RE: Collaring - 12/15/2004 1:04:47 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline
OK, it's time to bring back Capslock Dom. (Some of you may know who Capslock Dom is; the others are about to find out.)

IF THE BICH IS TELLING U LIKE WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO COLLAR HER THEN SHE IS OBVIUSLY DICTATING THE RELATIONSHIP AND YOUR NOT REALLY THE DOM HERE. EITHER YOU CAN TELL HER TO SIT THIGT AND YOULL CALL THE SHOTS OR YOU CAN DO WHAT SHE SAYS AND HOPE SHE'S NOT INTO CUCKHOLDING TOO.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dom4woman

I just would like to know. I have collared a slave at least twice now. I have heard that if I collar her three times that in the lifestyle its a marriage. I was told from her that it has to be three different collars. Is this correct


(in reply to dom4woman)
Profile   Post #: 20
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