Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality Page: <<   < prev  2 3 [4] 5 6   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality - 8/2/2006 7:48:56 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

Sex is fine, using it to control anyone is not.

And women use sex as a weapon WAY more than men do.


Not if you have control of them, they dont


And then there are those vanilla laws you have to contend with.  Control or not.. we still have the upper hand.

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 8/2/2006 7:49:54 PM >


_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality - 8/2/2006 8:09:58 PM   
somethndif


Posts: 136
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amastermind

Ellen, stop your whining.  You aren't the onlyy one in the world who was denied something that he/sher deserved.  And who is to say that you were denied promotion because you were a woman anyway?  And if it was a privately held company, in my sexist opinion the owners had a right to promote whomever they wanted for whatever reason they wanted.  That includes not promoting you  for refusal  to give the boss a blowjob.

That the company turned to shit just proves my point.  If what you say is correct (we are only hearing your version of it) they were stupid for not promoting you and paid the price for their stupidity.  You also proved my point by starting your own business.  If you want to, promote only women.   That is your right.   But you will be stupid too.  You should promote whomever you think will help your company the most.

The only reason you are for affirmative action is because you don't feel you are good enough to succeed without it.  So you want to cheat and have the rules give you an advantage you weren't able to get by using your sex appeal. Because if you think about it, that is what affirmative action is; cheating.


Mastermind (is that an intentional oxymoron?)

I think you are confusing two separate and distinct issues.  Ellen is complaining about sex discrimination, and you seem to be talking about affirmative action.  These are two different things.  Under the law in the U.S. affirmative action -- actually mandating the hiring of a certain number of members of a historically discriminated class, who, although qualified, are less qualified than other candidates -- is pretty much dead.  Sex discrimination and discrimination generally, is the intentional discrimination against an individual because of a protected characteristic, i.e. race, sex, religion, age, disability, etc.  And that is what someone making a claim of discrimination has to show, INTENTIONAL discrimination.  And that is not easy to prove. 

As I read her post, Ellen is not asking for affirmative action, to be treated better than others more qualified than she is.  One could argue, as you do, that affirmative action is "cheating."  But Ellen seems to be asking for something else.  She is simply asking not to be discriminated against because she is a woman, to be judged on her merit, not her sex.  There is a big difference between affirmative action and discrimination, which you fail to recognize. 

Contrary to what you seem to believe, sex discrimination and sexual harassment is alive and well in the U.S.  It is against the law, and it should be.  Everyone should have the right to earn a living based upon merit and their ability to do the job.

Dan 

(in reply to amastermind)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality - 8/2/2006 8:41:54 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
A virtuous woman is also disparaged if she lives her entire life without sex; the 'old maid', the 'prude', the 'spinster', 'frigid'.

In much of society, if a woman has an arbitrary number of sexual partners but does not charge money, she is 'cheap'.  If she does charge money, she is a 'whore'.  The worst is to be a 'cheap whore'.
How many partners make one a slut?  Ten is okay but 11 is too many?  If two sex partners in a lifetime are acceptable, why would two sex partners at the same time be worthy of nasty names?

As women, we need to accept whatever level of sexuality pleases us.
Celibate or sexually active, someone will find fault.  To those I say, "Got a problem with my sexual history or lack there-of? Move along, I don't much care."






_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality - 8/2/2006 9:45:07 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize
To those I say, "Got a problem with my sexual history or lack there-of? Move along, I don't much care."

There's always the old joke- What's the definition of promiscuous?  Someone getting more than you are.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality - 8/2/2006 11:43:40 PM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline
"When a woman DOES embrase her sexuality, she is then called a slut, whore, and/or bitch? "

I don't do that, unless she likes it of course.

T

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality - 8/2/2006 11:54:02 PM   
Kedikat


Posts: 680
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline
What does a females sexuality entail?
Does it consist of multiple partners? What?
Is a mans sexuality the same thing?
What the hell is it? And what is controlling it? In either sex?
Is it a universal definition for women and men? Or is this your point of view of what it is?

Sexuality is diverse for all. Controlling it must then also be diverse. And what makes you think we men control it out of fear? Is that why women want to control mens sexuality? Or is it then just moral and caring and right?

I have noticed with some people that they do what they consider wrong when others do it, but when they do it, there is always a good reason.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality - 8/3/2006 12:43:58 AM   
fullofgrace


Posts: 395
Joined: 3/24/2006
From: fl, usa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Treswank - for your information, if you look at Roman and Greek pagan society then yes - women were not so well treated. I was talking about my ancestral culture, Germanic paganism (Asatru) where women were accorded equitable rights with their menfolk. I follow Asatru - the only real form of modern paganism; real because unlike other revived forms it is based on substantial records. It is also FYI an official state religion in Iceland - it is nothing to do with and is nothing like Wicca which is a concoction of confabulations and fantasy.


just wanted to add in light of this and treswank's comment that though there may be classical evidence that the amazons existed, and that though there were societies in which women were equal to men, most reputable classicists, archaeologists, and anthropologists would probably not say that there's evidence of an ancient matriarchal culture. i think that might be what treswank was referring to - it's becoming a common misconception today.  


_____________________________

i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality - 8/3/2006 3:00:43 AM   
amastermind


Posts: 54
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline
For goodness sake somethndif, if you aren't an example of the kettle calling the teapot black.  Your handlle should be oxymoron or maybe doublespeak.  From the Marriam Webster website:  to discriminate is to mark or distinguish the particular features of.  synonyms are distinguish or discriminate.

You say that sex discrimination is the intentional discrimination against an individual because of a protected  characteristic (gender in this case) and then you want me to believe that somehow affirmative action isn't?  Be serious!  There is a BIG(emphasis added) difference between affirmative action and discrimination?  Really now?  Since we are talking about cheating and making referene to comopetition I will quote John McInroe, "You cannot be serious!"  There is absolutely no difference. You are merely Clintonizing the issue; massaging and perverting words to suit your opinion to the point that words have no meaning.  When there is a distinction that you like; i.e., giving a job to a woman simply because she is a woman, you give it a positive word, affirmative action.  When a woman is for some reason (which may or may not have anything due with gender)  passed over, you call it harassment or unfair sexual discrimination.

Another example of your oxymoronic double speak, is your statement "...although qualified, are less qualified than other candidates".  Less qualified means just that, less qualified, as in maybe put up a good fight but lost.  Giving her the job means calling her the winner.  In sports that is called fixing or cheating.

Later you say that things should be "based on merit and the ability to do the job."  How do you reconcile this with your previous statement? 

I don't know if affirmative action is dead or not but if it is that is only because bullshit like yours can only be hurled so far. 

(in reply to somethndif)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality - 8/3/2006 5:54:21 AM   
TreSwank


Posts: 1165
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fawne


To those who doubt women were valued- there is historical proof from more than one culture.  Ancient Goddess, fertility figures etc. are discovered world wide.


   The same cultures who produced these fertility statues also demonstrated the "value" of women in their society by a plethora of girl-friendly practices, including the ever-popular "female circumcision." 

< Message edited by TreSwank -- 8/3/2006 5:55:00 AM >

(in reply to Fawne)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality - 8/3/2006 6:02:32 AM   
Theslavetrainer


Posts: 75
Joined: 9/23/2005
Status: offline
There is also the fact that if these cultures that valued women so highly were so great, why are they all dead now? Christianity couldn't have gotten to all of them and even if it did, they couldn't fight back? Hmmm, interesting.

(in reply to TreSwank)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality - 8/3/2006 6:38:10 AM   
TreSwank


Posts: 1165
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline
Ya know what, brother?  Just let them build their matriarchial society from the ground up, so we can tell them "I told you so".   At some point, their menstration's are gonna become synchronized, and then all hell's gonna break loose!

< Message edited by TreSwank -- 8/3/2006 6:42:34 AM >

(in reply to Theslavetrainer)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality - 8/3/2006 7:13:05 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
Hi

Dan - thank you for replying for me on amastermind's post - you did a great job of it. The only problem being that the arguments against my post seem to be based on a less than complete comprehension of the points I made - although it seems you got it, so either you are as stupid as me or you are the brightest of the bunch LOL! - and I personally doubt whether the level of comprehension will be altered even with your explanation.

Personally I think this thread is now just about done to death - its not going anywhere as there are entrenched positions and only verbal assaults passing between, rather than informed, coherent, evidence based discussion. Its a shame, but it seems to happen to many threads here that argument rather than debate is what occurs. It reminds of the Monty Python sketch "Is this the right room for an argument?"!





(in reply to TreSwank)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality - 8/3/2006 7:48:06 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

Sex is fine, using it to control anyone is not.

And women use sex as a weapon WAY more than men do.


Not if you have control of them, they dont


And then there are those vanilla laws you have to contend with.  Control or not.. we still have the upper hand.


Laws?   I had the impression that the context was how it applies in male/female relationships. 

Not everyone wants the upperhand. Thats part of the beauty of a Ds relationship as opposed to one where the parties are equal.  In such a relationship,  where the dominant has control over the submissive, and the submissive happens to be a female, then she cant use sex as a tool.  Hence my comment.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality - 8/3/2006 7:59:10 AM   
somethndif


Posts: 136
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amastermind

For goodness sake somethndif, if you aren't an example of the kettle calling the teapot black.  Your handlle should be oxymoron or maybe doublespeak.  From the Marriam Webster website:  to discriminate is to mark or distinguish the particular features of.  synonyms are distinguish or discriminate.

You say that sex discrimination is the intentional discrimination against an individual because of a protected  characteristic (gender in this case) and then you want me to believe that somehow affirmative action isn't?  Be serious!  There is a BIG(emphasis added) difference between affirmative action and discrimination?  Really now?  Since we are talking about cheating and making referene to comopetition I will quote John McInroe, "You cannot be serious!"  There is absolutely no difference. You are merely Clintonizing the issue; massaging and perverting words to suit your opinion to the point that words have no meaning.  When there is a distinction that you like; i.e., giving a job to a woman simply because she is a woman, you give it a positive word, affirmative action.  When a woman is for some reason (which may or may not have anything due with gender)  passed over, you call it harassment or unfair sexual discrimination.

Another example of your oxymoronic double speak, is your statement "...although qualified, are less qualified than other candidates".  Less qualified means just that, less qualified, as in maybe put up a good fight but lost.  Giving her the job means calling her the winner.  In sports that is called fixing or cheating.

Later you say that things should be "based on merit and the ability to do the job."  How do you reconcile this with your previous statement? 

I don't know if affirmative action is dead or not but if it is that is only because bullshit like yours can only be hurled so far. 


Ok, MM, let me make it very simple for you.  Affirmative action is giving a particular, identifiable group an advantage, a preference.  Laws against discrimination prevent disadvantaging a particular, identifiable group because of its identifying characteristic.  Affirmative action tilts the level playing field in favor of a particular group, while the discrimination laws level the playing field.  Perhaps now you can grasp the concept.  Affirmative action is dead, while discrimination -- sex, race, age, religion, disability, etc. -- is still alive and well in this country.

You also seem unable to grasp the concept of "qualified, but less qualified than other candidates."  Again, let me make it simple for you, through an example.  Lets say an employer gives an exam to all candidates and the minimum qualifiying score is 60.  Some one who scores a 60 or better is able to do the job.  So we have a candidate who scores an 80 and one who scores a 90.  The one who scored the 80 is clearly qualified, one could even say well-qualified, but could be seen as less qualified that the person who scored 90. 

Now, does that help you grasp these fairly simple concepts?

Dan 

(in reply to amastermind)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality - 8/3/2006 8:19:22 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
If the guy scored 90 then he should get the job over the woman who scored 80 - there's no issue there. To give the job to the woman would be what would happen under affirmative action - and to be honest I wouldnt want to benefit from that.

If the woman scored 90 and the man 80, and he was then given the job - there's a problem in that as its prejudicial discrimination against the candidate because she's a she. This is what is happening all over, all the time.

I am more than prepared to be judged on my own merits - but I wont be overlooked or demeaned because of my gender. Like I said before, the best person for the job, not the best white middle class male.

E

(in reply to somethndif)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality - 8/3/2006 8:36:42 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreSwank

Ya know what, brother?  Just let them build their matriarchial society from the ground up, so we can tell them "I told you so".   At some point, their menstration's are gonna become synchronized, and then all hell's gonna break loose!


Treswank!! Whis is WITH you and female body chemistry that when you want to degrade us you point to that.

Heck.  We are in demand in the in the desert wars!  We retain water and are mean as hell! LOL

(Ya must have run across one of your mother's used rags at an early age and freaked out!)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to TreSwank)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality - 8/3/2006 8:38:52 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

If the guy scored 90 then he should get the job over the woman who scored 80 - there's no issue there. To give the job to the woman would be what would happen under affirmative action - and to be honest I wouldnt want to benefit from that.

If the woman scored 90 and the man 80, and he was then given the job - there's a problem in that as its prejudicial discrimination against the candidate because she's a she. This is what is happening all over, all the time.

I am more than prepared to be judged on my own merits - but I wont be overlooked or demeaned because of my gender. Like I said before, the best person for the job, not the best white middle class male.

E


How about when a male and female score evenly (90/90)  How do they determine who gets the job?

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality - 8/3/2006 8:55:32 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
If male and female score equally?

All other things being equal, the only fair way to decide would be to toss a coin I guess? In practice though, such sameness in two candidates rarely occurs, and something favours one or the other - an interview, a CV, personal impression etc.

As an employer myself, I always give the job to the best person for it - could be a guy or a gal, could be any ethnic group or sexuality etc - I dont expect to be discriminated against, so I dont discriminate. The result of this policy is that in my opinion we have the best team in our industry, which I suspect we wouldnt have were I to insist on all males, all females or all anything else.
E

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality - 8/3/2006 9:21:08 AM   
somethndif


Posts: 136
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

If the guy scored 90 then he should get the job over the woman who scored 80 - there's no issue there. To give the job to the woman would be what would happen under affirmative action - and to be honest I wouldnt want to benefit from that.

If the woman scored 90 and the man 80, and he was then given the job - there's a problem in that as its prejudicial discrimination against the candidate because she's a she. This is what is happening all over, all the time.

I am more than prepared to be judged on my own merits - but I wont be overlooked or demeaned because of my gender. Like I said before, the best person for the job, not the best white middle class male.


Ellen,

A perfectly understandable response.  But let me try to make the case for at least a limited form of affirmative action. 

Lets stick with my example of the employer who gives all candidates a test and that the qualifying score is 60.  Lets say further that the employer has been sued for sex discrimination and the evidence shows that the employer has 1000 employees and that over the last 10 years the employer has hired no women, although women have applied and many have achieved scores which at the time qualified them for employment, but lesser qualified men were hired.  Lets say further that 200 such women are identified who were discriminated against; not hired although they were better qualified at the time they applied than the men who were hired.  Lets say further that the employer only needs to hire 50 employees a year.  And lets also say that if the employer had been hiring fairly and without discrimination, that its work force would be roughly 50/50 men and women.

Under the discrimination laws, all of the 200 women who were denied jobs for which they were the best candidates are entitled to back pay, and to jobs with this employer.  But, as we can see, there are not enough openings for all of them right away. 

So, what is a fair and just remedy for this employer's clear history of discrimination?  First, the employer should be required to hire all of the 200 identified women who were not hired because of discrimination, in the order in which they applied, and to hire no men until all of them are employees.  There may be men applying during those 4 years who score higher than some of these women, but still these women would have been hired earlier, had the employer been hiring fairly. 

At the end of 4 years, the work force would be 800 men, and 200 women.  Is hiring the 200 women who we were able to identify as victims of sex discrimination a sufficient remedy for the employer's history of unlawful sex discrimination, if without the history of sex discrimination, the work force would be 50/50? 

Some would argue that that is not enough and that the employer should be required to give some preference in hiring to women until the work force is 50/50.  That could be done by, lets say, ordering the employer to hire at least 30 women each year, of the 50 new employees hired each year, or 60% of all new hires, but only if the employer has at least 30 qualified women candidates who score at least 60 on the test.  The employer would be required to do this until its work force is 50/50. 

Now I understand the argument against this kind of affirmative action.  The men applying now and in future years were not responsible for the employer's past discriminatory practices and they should not be disadvantaged now.  But keep in mind that no one is suggesting that the 200 less qualified men who were hired instead of the 200 women who were discriminated against, should be fired to make room for these women.  In addition, there were probably many more well qualified women who would have been interested in jobs with this employer, but never applied because they knew that the employer only hired men. 

So, what is the best way to remedy the employer's long, unlawful history of sex discrimination?  I think that some form of preference, affirmative action, is needed in a situation like this.  

Of course you may disagree.  I am sure that MM will.  *grin*

Dan 






(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality - 8/3/2006 9:53:50 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
Hi Dan

I would suspect to be honest that no woman would want to work for this employer! Given the total prejudicial discrimination directed at them during application it would be reasonable to suppose that such a company had an entire culture of such attitudes which could be expected to be directed at any woman taking a job there even post court ruling.

The only real solution to the situation would have to start with a total replacement of the management board that had either encouraged or practised or permitted such a culture - including the appointment of a proportion of adequately qualified females to that board. Following on from that the board should have a standing item on their agendas related to the subject of fair treatment, to follow the progress of a programme to instil such fair treatment attitudes throughout the organisation in order to change the culture. If any existing employee does not like it, they can always try to find a job where they can feel more comfortable.

Only once such a programme were in place and effective would it be reasonable to expect any woman to venture into such an environment. Workplace bullying and harassment of females by males is not something that has come up much so far in this thread, but it is an important factor to consider.

To be honest, I would not venture down a path to recruit those previous "failed" female applicants - by the time a programme as described had come into full effect, it would be more than likely that they had found other jobs with more reasonable employers anyway. As long as the employer mended his ways, such an action would not be practical. In addition I dont believe it would be profitable either as it would simply add to any resentment in existing male employees about women in general and interfere with the mending of ways.

It takes time to change a culture and in this, evolution is far superior to revolution which has a nasty habit of being unpredictable and unreliable by comparison.

E

(in reply to somethndif)
Profile   Post #: 80
Page:   <<   < prev  2 3 [4] 5 6   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Controlling Women's Sexuality Page: <<   < prev  2 3 [4] 5 6   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109