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RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 11:17:56 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: themischievous1

So. Here's a query regarding older submissive/slave women and the results of aging for those women. Like PMS, physical issues women face can be hard to know how to deal with, cause behavior that isn't easy to understand, and just overall be challenging.

For the rest of you ladies and gentlemen who haven't experienced menopause or who know nothing about it, give me your thoughts on how you would deal with a submissive/slave who is being affected by mood swings, hot flashes, mild depression, anxiety, serious irritability, and headaches for the first time in her life.  When answering, please note that according to current research, women have little control over these symptoms and hormone replacement therapy can have serious side effects and symptoms that aren't pleasant in and of themselves. HRT can also be life threatening through risk of stroke, etc.



Having once dealt with a slave in this stage of life, the only advice I can give is consistency of character and structure. It helps a female when, during the upheaval and vertigo of this natural biological process, she has something still and supportive to bank on. What you give will come back to you.



< Message edited by amayos -- 8/3/2006 11:18:54 AM >

(in reply to themischievous1)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 11:20:18 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		It was no big issue for me.  Just a normal bodily function.  The legacy is always greater than the actuality :)
(Progesterone creme works wonders)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 11:32:43 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

I'm perimenopausal and absolutely hate it.
The mood swings are the worst.  I've been called Sybil at these times
and it's  so unlike me.  I've also noticed that I get loopy (is that a word)
during my periods.  And very forgetful.  Not to mention that my periods,
which used to be every 35 days apart are now about every 26 days. 
Just lovely, let me tell you.   By far the mood swings are the worst
and they have pretty much destroyed a very good relationship I have had with one
from here.   At these times I became very combative with him for no reasons. 
I was able to see it all happening and yet had no control or ability to stop myself.


Except for the destruction of a relationship.....basically cannot destroy what you do not have......I am at about the same place. I have days like today that I swear I could commit murder without any remorse at all. I am just not myself. I will not use any prescription HRT. I just have to eat well, get lots of rest and take moments to get back on centre (not commit murder) and stay calm. For me, knowing what it is and why, is 80% of the battle. I just take a few minutes to calm down, deep breaths and remind myself that it's not really as bad as it appears. If I have to put off some things for a few days I do.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 8/3/2006 11:34:04 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 12:14:04 PM   
Tamerofwild1s


Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline 		how would I deal with menopausal women ??
 
 
*dives out the window in a Masterly fashion*

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to MistressSassy66)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 12:45:56 PM   
MmakeMme


Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline 		Agreeing with amayos - structure, solidty and normalcy cannot be underestimated. My Dom is very caring and nuturing, and he holds my hand through the rough patches, which are becoming fewer and fewer. Unlike many, I have experienced no real problem with mood swings (FAR less than PMS). I feel much more at home in my own skin today than I did in my twenties, which shows up in my submission as well. The only symptom that drives me buggy is the night sweats, but soy milk before bedtime takes the edge off.

(in reply to Tamerofwild1s)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 2:16:04 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		I had a full hystorectomy at 35 and had hot flashes and night sweats for many years after. The first year or so they were very bad and gradually got better over the years. Finally earlier this year I started taking estrogen and the hot flashes have subsided and I'm sleeping better. I didn't have any other symptoms, like mood swings.

(in reply to MistressSassy66)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 2:26:54 PM   
FirmhandKY


Posts: 8948
Joined: 9/21/2004
Status: offline 		Fast Reply:

oh lord, the stories I could tell ....



< Message edited by FirmhandKY -- 8/3/2006 2:28:11 PM >

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 2:44:44 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		I'd like to know how a slave handles a Master with Andropause (the male equivalent to Menopause)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to FirmhandKY)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 4:29:28 PM   
sharainks


Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline 		I've been through menopause and after years of horrible cramps that got progressively worse the older I got and pure hell the last 3 years I was happy HAPPY happy to finally have an end to that misery. 

I had 6 months of night sweats, no mood swings, no anger or irritation.  I used wild yam cream during that time and it helped.  If you are looking for natural solutions eat yams or sweet potatoes on a regular basis.  I'm told it helps. 

(in reply to MistressSassy66)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 4:50:58 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

She always carries lotion with her.


I have a tube of lancome hand lotion in my bathroom, a tube in my truck and a tube in my desk at work.  For most folks it'd probably be too heavy for the body but it works quite well for me and, if used sparingly, absorbs rapidly and isn't sticky or tacky.  I haven't found another product that works as well at any price (high or low).  I'm open to finding one that's less expensive, though. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

She refuses hrt, she believes it is bad, she tries natural remedies and loads herself with vitamins.  I don't know if it works as well as hrt, but she says the years leading up to her hysterectomy (and oophorectomy) were so hideous that she doesn't mind any of the effects from menopause.


I'll second her sentiments, I've never missed my uterus, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss my ovaries.  At least the debilitating moments of menopause only lasted a few minutes at a time, the problems before were ongoing for months at a time over the course of 6 or 7 years.  Yup, my problems started within two years of the onset of my menses and didn't stop until they took it all out.  I think I'm fortunate to have not had to deal with pms and everything that goes with it, much less the dis-eased state I was dealing with.

As for the mood swings, I've come a long way in learning how to manage my head over the years in much the same ways others have posted here.  Also in learning to feel whatever I'm feeling but make my behavior choices from my head rather than my emotion, but trying to honor my emotion in those choices.  I've become willing to feel whatever the discomfort is knowing that it's transitory rather than trying to negate it.  I suppose you could say 'growing up.'  Some days I'm more successful than others, but I keep plugging away at it and find that I do get better with practice.  <grin> 

I wouldn't advocate for or against hrt, not for anyone else.  I took some Rx estrogens that, at the time, could only be purchased from one pharmacy in the U.S.  They were made from yams but it was Rx only.  They were helpful but after about a year my symptoms came back.  I figure it doesn't matter if you're getting it from a pill (equine urine?), a yam or a soy bean - it's still estrogen (I'll grant you that the body may be better able to use one over the other).  I'm not partial to yams but I do like edamame (sp?) and occasionally tofu.  HRT helped me, a lot, but it's usefulness for me has passed.



_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 5:04:04 PM   
losttreasure


Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline 		As I am unable to take HRT, I've found Estroven to be very effective in eliminating hot flashes.  As I've not suffered from mood swings and the like, I don't know how well it would help with those symptoms.  Also, a supplement widely used in Europe (and readily available in the US) is Evening Primrose Oil.

(in reply to sharainks)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 5:25:15 PM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

I'd like to know how a slave handles a Master with Andropause (the male equivalent to Menopause)



I handle a male submissive with Andropause with duct tape,cuffs,chains
and the jail cell.....LOL


_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 10:10:17 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

My question - if you are prone to having hot flashes as part of menopause, do they ever go away?


Mine are just about gone, only have an occasional one here and there now.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/3/2006 10:31:43 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		Ah, menopause... that bitch can go to hell... go to hell and die!!!
 
That said... I've been dealing with perimenopause for three years.  Most of the time, it's just been extremely irregular non-monthlies and occasional mood swings.  However, for the past several months, I've been a complete insomniac, rarely sleeping more than 4 hours a night; the night sweats start between 10 and 11 pm and last for hours; hot flashes are an almost daily occurrence, and truly suck giant rocks when it's 95 degrees outside and humid as a sauna.
 
I try not to take my occasional moodiness out on Master, but there are times when I'm feeling absolutely miserable and He'll do something that He knows annoys me anyway, and it just really puts me in a bad place for a while.  But He's learned to listen to me when I say I'm feeling exceptionally moody today.  And we've learned that wearing a collar to bed is not a good idea right now, because the night sweats cause the dye to stain my neck, and I just can't go to work with this 2" wide, blotchy purple "tattoo" around my throat.  We've also learned that latex and hot flashes don't mix well, either; and that if He wants me to go to bed when He does, we'd better do something to exhaust me beforehand, or the insomnia will hit and neither of us will sleep, 'cause I'll be tossing and turning for a few hours.
 
Is menopause a pain in the butt?  Yes.  Does it affect behavior?  Sometimes.  Can we live with it and still be Master and slave?  Absolutely.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/4/2006 2:39:45 AM   
bignipples2share


Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DoctorDubious

quote:

ORIGINAL: themischievous1


For the rest of you ladies and gentlemen who haven't experienced menopause or who know nothing about it, give me your thoughts on
how you would deal with a submissive/slave who is being affected by mood swings, hot flashes, mild depression, anxiety, serious irritability, and headaches for the first time in her life. 



Love the person more than the body that carries her around.

DD


awwww this was a wonderful reply.

~Big

(in reply to DoctorDubious)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/4/2006 2:46:27 AM   
bignipples2share


Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

My mother has an unending battle with hot flashes.  She is in her early 70's.  She has tried different medications for it.  I've researched them and discovered that some she has tried are anti-depressants.  This concerns me because some classes of anti-depressants are very difficult to "quit" (it can be similar to severe flu-like symptoms as you try to wean yourself off) and aren't there medications more appropriate than anti-depressants?  She has to be careful with some of the natural remedies (such as soy), because she's a breast cancer survivor and has to watch anything that can affect estrogen levels.  My question - if you are prone to having hot flashes as part of menopause, do they ever go away?


The only thing I can offer is swimming pool furniture for the belly button for all the sweat that collect there during the night.
My night sweats are getting better, but after almost 5 years of them, I want them gone.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/4/2006 3:02:09 AM   
JarlMarak


Posts: 15
Joined: 6/17/2006
Status: offline 		I a Dom can only say if you are involved with someone and you want to stay in there life the only thing you can do is Respect them even when they are going through the wall round the beand and going mad as a hatter, be Considerate of there feelings at this time and give them space when they need it and play if they want it, and above all Honesty the ability to say you as a Dom will put up with it because you want them rather than sulk because you are not getting what you want even when you love someone.
To make clear I mean play as any kind running round smiling play

(in reply to themischievous1)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/4/2006 3:43:56 AM   
bignipples2share


Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

I'm perimenopausal and absolutely hate it.
The mood swings are the worst.  I've been called Sybil at these times
and it's  so unlike me.  I've also noticed that I get loopy (is that a word)
during my periods.  And very forgetful.  Not to mention that my periods,
which used to be every 35 days apart are now about every 26 days. 
Just lovely, let me tell you.   By far the mood swings are the worst
and they have pretty much destroyed a very good relationship I have had with one
from here.   At these times I became very combative with him for no reasons. 
I was able to see it all happening and yet had no control or ability to stop myself.

I got cluster headaches, very bad ones, while I was perimenopausal. About 6 years worth. I didn't even know what a cramp was until this started happening to me.
When menopause started happening...yeaaaaaaa, the headaches went away. Now I gotta say, I was NEVER a crying type person, but some of those commercials had me crying my eyes out...it still amazes me....over commercials yet!
Then the hot flashes started, then the night sweats, followed by, 'you can't touch me right now, your hot little finger is unbearable, no matter where you touch me, and no, you can't even touch my hair'! Then the weight gain...wtf did that come from??? Top all that off with insomnia, horrible, just horrible. 
Other than those blasted crying jags, my demeanor didn't really change. At least I don't think they did. I didn't see myself as being unreasonable except for maybe 3 times tops LOL
I still get hot flashes (not nearly as bad). Now, I don't have to take in the waist of all the slacks I purchase anymore, I can buy off the rack without alterations. Although I'm sure I still have cycles, they aren't based on my periods anymore. Am I moody? Yes, only to the extent that I can't pick out my wardrobe the night before, because it'll probably change when I wake up and face the day. I now believe in the hearafter. I go to the next room and can't remember what I'm hereafter for..just like my Mom said decades ago. No, my eyes aren't as good as they used to be, but I sure as hell can see ya trying to snatch a cookie outta the cookie jar, so don't even try. And finally, I'm happy with who I've turned into, regardless of what I am at the moment, all if it is still me and I can live with me just fine. Memories are wonderful and I have really enjoyed true love in my life. I can now say I have learned how to live with the love of just me. I have no desire to turn back the hands of time.....give me the future.

~Big

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/4/2006 4:17:48 AM   
bignipples2share


Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		For those that are experiencing dry skin, might I suggest adding more olive oil into your diet. I'm more for working on problems from the inside out. Top off your salad with oil, or have gaspacho, eat a garbonzo bean salad with oil and vinegar, some pepper and you can add some red, or sweet onion, if desired. I also know of this one esthetician who advised a person to use olive oil to cleanse their face, no other product, just put it on and wipe it off. I've never been so dry as to require this, but did see the wonderful results, in that one person. Fish oil also is good to take on a daily basis.
I also eat/drink alot of soy, edememe, miso soup (all are soy). Silver tipped white, green and oolong teas, are just par for the course.
Buy a sprayer/fine misting bottle, and some esential oils so that in the middle of the night you can mist yourself with something cooler than the hot sweats. Something calming and cool. Go to bath, body and beyond and get the one that works for hot flashing and then just make your own. I do suggest putting down a mattress pad under your sheet, so your mattress' is not ruined by either the excess sweating you're now doing, or the excess water/oil mix you're now misting with.
Here's flashing with ya!

~Big


(in reply to JarlMarak)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Tell the truth.. - 8/4/2006 6:08:52 AM   
sophia37


Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		Wow. Good thread. And the first time Ive ever heard of anyone else using progesterin to help out. Two years ago I went on the mini pill at age 45. I was experiencing estrogen overload and irregular periods. Stress was the big factor for lots of the period problems. But the progestin has been so amazing helpful. No viral outbreaks, No mood swings. No periods. No problem!

Now at age 47, the only thing Ive noticed is Ive put on 5 pounds while eating less food. So Im about to have my hormonal levels tested, to see where I'm at with all this.

Thanks so much ladies for all the depth you've put into your answers. I will most defintely keep with my weight lifting and stretching after hearing all of this. Im very much interested in keeping my body in good shape, whatever "good shape" really means for me.

(in reply to MistressSassy66)
Profile   Post #: 40
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