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What happens to old slaves and Masters? - 8/3/2006 5:36:22 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		I haven't read anything about this at all, anywhere. And, the oldest female I've seen post on this site is 63, the oldest male, 70 something. I know I've heard that people "wind down" as far as ther sexual and, possibly (hope not too much), bdsm related desires are concerned - eventually.

Hopefully, by the time they are really old, they are happily in a caring D/s or M/s relationship, or at least have enough wherewithal to afford health and domestic care (I've heard Medicare won't cover hiring a Pro Domme or Pro Dom, or Pro submissive or slave, he).

I am sorry if this is a depressing question, but my father is a little bit sick right now (he will get better, probably, but is having heart palpitations, and doctors are still figuring out what this might mean) - and I started thinking about what happens to old people. Maybe this isn't the place to ask but - think about it:

Question: If you really cared about your Master (Mistress) or slave or submissive, you would take care of them if they were sick, right? Or at least help? You wouldn't toss them out the door because they were "too old"? Well, maybe some would.
Any comments (and accompanying justifications for whatever) welcome.
Sorry to be a wet blanket (if I am) but I do think this is rarely discussed, or maybe even contemplated (why would it be- nobody here is that old, I guess). Doesn't mean people can't think about it.

Question: So - What's your plan, as far as D/s or M/s in your life goes, goes when you really start to age? Gonna have someone there who gives a darn about your welfare, even if you're a wrinkled up thing that can hardly walk anymore, or what? Or not? Gonna toss someone out the door on their butt because they've suddenly become "too old" and-or too much work to care for?

Sorry if nobody's ever seen me like this. Perhaps the quality of my questions on this site is going downhill, but I would appreciate any comments.This isn't a joke (but am sure some will toy w/the question anyway, which is fine and unavoidable I suppose). Thanks.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/3/2006 5:43:49 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson
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RE: What happens to old slaves and Masters? - 8/3/2006 5:44:47 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Susan, lol, your "quality" is just fine in the question dept!
I would certainly take care of a partner who's sick.
How could anyone tell someone who they've known and loved to just go away because they're sick?
That's just inhumane! I mean how could anyone "live" with them selves after doing something like that?
Maybe and more likely people could and (do) do those types of things but it's beyond my comprehension how they can.

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RE: What happens to old slaves and Masters? - 8/3/2006 5:48:33 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		That is reassuring to hear. I couldn't do it either (I'd like to think not, anyway). I do wonder how many people actually end up doing it, though - (and I am not doubting you - but my sister is a family law attorney and has stories that would just curl your hair about how people can treat aging relatives and lovers).

I apologize again fore the tone  of this thread. I am not meaning to be a sad sack - it's been an interesting week.    

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/3/2006 6:42:35 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: What happens to old slaves and Masters? - 8/3/2006 5:49:01 PM   
MsterOrionII


Posts: 5
Joined: 4/27/2006
Status: offline 		Susan I am wondering  about  how to care for my parents now and all of these questions  also.  I don t really think it just  Bdsm  question this is a national question that everyone is going to have to answere somehow.  Or like Dave Ramsey says have to get the book 72 ways to eat cat food and like it.

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RE: What happens to old slaves and Masters? - 8/3/2006 5:51:44 PM   
HayaSierra


Posts: 119
Joined: 4/7/2005
From: In Georgia
Status: offline 		Things may slow down a bit, but I suspect we will still be a family, just as we would be younger. I'm imagining protocols will be toned down a lot as we get really old (kneeling probably is not as easy for one who is 85 as for a 25 year old), duties and service (as well as some of the general conditions) I will make easier to those who have been with me and who are older, because I would still like them to feel needed, wanted and being allowed to serve, even if the methods of said service may change. I'm hoping to have medical coverage and other arrangements for us by then, and having at least one or two younger slaves to help out with the harder tasks, which would be a blessing. No matter what though, I would not see myself tossing anyone out after a long time of service just because they are older. By then they have the perfect ability to share their wisdom with others about not only general life things, but also servitude and even if nothing else they could become valuable mentors to those who are younger servants and slaves in our and the general BDSM community.

I have indeed thought this over greatly and find that this is one advantage of having more than one slave as part of my household and planning in the long term. Just because they may be old does not mean I will love them any less (it is not a romantic love, but a love nonetheless) or that they are automatically useless as a slave or servant. I actually hope to grow old with mine, because it means that we will have had a lifetime of being together and living the way that we chose to live.



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Haya Sierra
Haya Of Ka Azdor Estate --
http://groups.msn.com/Domsub/
Basic Information about the Hanian System of D/s

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RE: What happens to old slaves and Masters? - 8/3/2006 5:53:41 PM   
kisshou


Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		Hiya susan,

I live down here in sunny Fla land of retirees, there are quite a few senior M/s couples that I know. They still practice all kinds of fun and kinky stuff and are just as devoted any other M/s couple

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RE: What happens to old slaves and Masters? - 8/3/2006 5:54:29 PM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO


Question: If you really cared about your Master (Mistress) or slave or submissive, you would take care of them if they were sick, right? Or at least help? You wouldn't toss them out the door because they were "too old"? Well, maybe some would.

There is a significant enough age difference between my dom and myself that I have considered this eventuality. Of course, I also work in an ICU, so I think about illness and death maybe a little bit more than the average person. (How many of you have discussed with your sig others what positions you'd like to be rotated through and how you would like the pillows arranged were you to be intubated and sedated or in a coma? Yeah, a little bit of morbidity comes with the job...)
I have seriously considered this subject. I have no doubt...not in any cell of my body...that if my dom were to suffer an illness or major injury, I would be at his side through the entire course of illness, treatment and recovery to whatever extent he would allow me to be. Likewise, if we are lucky enough to grow into old age together, I will care for him to the best of my ability and when my ability is not enough, I will use whatever resources I can to make sure he gets the care he needs. It's a non-issue.


_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

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RE: What happens to old slaves and Masters? - 8/3/2006 5:54:38 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		I am not concerned so much about finances (although I realize that can be a legitimate concern) - I am concerned more about emotional welfare stuff.
And not just for myself. I really like it when people emphasize the deep intimacy bdsm relationships can draw for people involved in them - because I think that's the most attractive part (to me anyway).

I know nobody knows their future, but, having experienced that kind of imtimacy with someone, personally, I think they'd be forever etched in my memory, and I'd find it hard to just toss them aside like an old sack of used tools simply because they became inconvenient, through no fault of their own.

I know this sounds like a rant, but it's not. It's concern, I guess.
Is it weirder to ask a Daddy Dom, for example, to buy you a Teddy bear at 72, than at 32? Hope not. Sorry if I am spooking anyone.

I will shut up now.

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/3/2006 6:29:46 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: What happens to old slaves and Masters? - 8/3/2006 5:58:56 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Haya Sierra: What a beautiful post. Thank you.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to HayaSierra)
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RE: What happens to old slaves and Masters? - 8/3/2006 6:05:00 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		When my mother was dying she asked us (I'm the eldest of 5) to make sure she never ended up in a Nursing home.
We were lucky in that she had plenty of assets so that she could remain in her own home.
At a certain point I had to go to the lawyer's office and he had me petition the Court for Guardianship for her.
I had two women comming in every day to clean her up, feed her, bath her etc. All the things that a Son shouldn't have to do.
I had the Visiting Nurses in as well. And towards the end, the Hospice Nurses and other people.
Some days it was a twenty hour day for me.
And I did all the shopping and cooked for everyone who was involved. And paid all the bills.
She lasted for about 18 months from the onset of becomming sick.
And, to make matters worse, my stepfather was found dead from a heart attack in his condo the day after my mother died so we ended up having a double funeral.
And, I was named as Executor for BOTH estates!
The next year was a buzz of lawyers, real estate agents, stockbrokers, tax accountants and boxes of paperwork!
My siblings were worthless during this whole process.
It was a hell of a lot of work but I learned how to do it.
I didn't even have a chance to greive even really for a year afterwards.

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RE: What happens to old slaves and Masters? - 8/3/2006 6:05:33 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		kisshou: Good to know. Reassuring.Thanks!

justheather: He is lucky to have you (and it sounds like you feel the same way).
I know some who might tune into this thread are going to maybe mistakenly think they got the AARP buy mistake, so am glad it is obvious to me now that others think about these things as well.

My sister is an attorney (plus I have Suze Orman financial planning kit I bought and used fully) so I have wills, estate plans, living wills, powers-of-attorney, health care powers-of-attorney, etc. up the ying yang, and know how to ge them changed and updated, if needed. And I am not the kind of person who thinks doing that kind of thing is fun - I made myself do it (and my husband too). Actually, my sister and brother-in-law (both attorneys) made both of us do all of those documents a few years ago - and I am glad. But God, that was a boring Summer (he) - but it has been, and will be worthwhile, I am sure.   

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/3/2006 6:30:20 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to justheather)
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RE: What happens to old slaves and Masters? - 8/3/2006 6:11:34 PM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

I am not concerned so much about finances (although i realize tha can be a legitimate concern) - I am concerned about emotional welfare stuff. And not just for myself. I really like it when people emphasize the deep intimacy bdsm relationships can draw for people involved in them; because I think that's the most attractive part. I know nobody knows their future, but, having experienced that kind of imtimacy with someone, persoanlly, I think thtey'd be forever etched in my memory and I'd find it hard to just toss them aside like an old sack of garbage because the became inconvenient via no fault of their own.
I kinow it sounds like a rant, but it's not. It's concern.

I will shut up now.


Susan, I think more people understand where you are coming from than you think.
If I have my way, I wll be my Daddy's submissive when Im too old to kneel down. I want to be his submissive when all he can do is look over at me and see the look on my face and know that I am still his. If we share a lifetime of such intense connection through our dynamic, how could I imagine it ending any other way?

This is kind of off-topic and, man, I'm going to sound incredibly morbid, but sometimes I think about what it would be like to sit or lay next to my dom while he is dying and kiss his head and face and hold his hand and tell him what a good Daddy he is and how much I love him. I think about doing that with my mother, my father, even my own unmentionable. I think about what that would be like and how very very important it would be for me to be fully present in that moment with that person.

I guess it's because I see people die all the time. Sometimes Im the only one with them. Some die really beautiful deaths surrounded by their loved-ones with music playing and laughter and tears and the room just lit up with love and some die lying alone in a strange bed in a strange room with strangers. I know Im a weirdo, but I dont think Im weird in that a good death is a gift I want for all the people I hold dear.






_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

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RE: What happens to old slaves and Masters? - 8/3/2006 6:19:01 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Oh heather that is such a beautiful thought. I know I want it, too, for people I love. You expressed it so beautifully. I could never, ever abandon my father, for instance, He's been the absolute best father ever, and he has 3 daughters who are going to make damn sure that doesn't happen. His little girls love him more than life itself, practically - and I think he knows that.

I don't want a lonely death for anyone I care for. I can't stand the thought. But I did read that people are never alone at the times of their death - I believe their angels and God are always there, when death is looming (please - no atheists write in, 'kay?),
Heather, it's people like you that I think there is a special place for in heaven, for making sure those folks aren't alone, as far as human company, on their deathbeds. 

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/3/2006 6:43:37 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: What happens to old slaves and Masters? - 8/3/2006 6:22:28 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Yes Susan, there's also legal ramifications.
Unless a Sir/ Master and sub/ slave are married I think it depends on the state of residence what decisions *if any* can be made by one's partner.
Ask your sister about that when you talk to her next and report back to us her answer. That would be interesting to find out!

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RE: What happens to old slaves and Masters? - 8/3/2006 6:24:14 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		popeye: Wow. Sounds like you got a crash course re: How to deal with aging and funerals and estate stuff! 

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: What happens to old slaves and Masters? - 8/3/2006 6:30:30 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Susan, I did.
And it was a tremendous amount of work too.
Kind of like having to run a hospital for one person all by myself.
Once a day when it was quiet usually at night I'd bring in a cool ginger ale with one of those bendy straws to my mother because she couldn't lift her head and hold it for her while she drank.

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RE: What happens to old slaves and Masters? - 8/3/2006 6:36:02 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		My dad almost wore himself down to the bone caring for my mom before she was hospitalized (she died over 2 years ago, of lung cancer). He would just not stop - I could see he was burning  out. My sisters tried to help as much as we could, but he really wanted to do most of the work himself, as far as dealing w/nurses and doctors.

Wow, I've never seen anyone so skeptical of doctors - he'd come home and research on the internet almost everything they said about her prognosis, or what they said they were doing to her as far as care. He's smart, plus he's a paranoid Scorpio- (they're all the same I swear, that way. Nobody is ever gonna pull the wool over thier eyes, he). He let everyone - I mean everyone- in that hospital know his daughter and son-in-law were attorneys, but also knew how to be nice enough so he didn't alienate the staff. I think he's a damn genius, and am going to miss him so much when he's gone.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: What happens to old slaves and Masters? - 8/3/2006 6:37:02 PM   
BuxomGoddess714


Posts: 91
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: So.California
Status: offline 		Just like in any kind of relationship, this is why W/we need to be VERY careful of who we hook up with.  Someone who dumps Us because we get old, because someone better, newer, prettier comes along, because the weather or fads or trends changed, because they dont know what they want, etc. is a terrible choice.  A good choice will be true to Us thru bad times and good, and does not use Us for the opportunity or thrill We present.  Those not so good times include illness, old age and unfortunately death.  I know people in the Lifestyle in their 60s I have known for decades.  They wouldn't think of leaving eachother because of hard times...  But they are from a different breed then a lot of the new people I meet.  They do not live for immediate gratification or selfish notions.  Times have changed or maybe this generation just needs time to mature.

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RE: What happens to old slaves and Masters? - 8/3/2006 6:37:58 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		You are right, so right, Buxom Goddess.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: What happens to old slaves and Masters? - 8/3/2006 6:42:35 PM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		Its best to have those things in order before the passing.
This is not meant to be mean...reality is that once they are gone even with Wills,Estate etc... You are better off to get the money or assests before passing...again please dont take this as being rude or money hungry.

I know from experience what happens when things are willed...the fights,between family members...My mother selling ALL My grandfathers(had no will) things before the funeral...she had a yard sale.If not for a caring Uncle I wouldnt have gotten the 3 things I did.

Wills contested can take years,My Grandma is giving the grandchildren what she wants them to have now..or is putting it in storage as its sorted so that Mommy Dearest cant pull that stunt again.

bishops parents are also aging as she was born when her mom was 35,so
whatever money they have they give us now...little here little there.
Her moms thoughts are she would like to see U/us enjoy it...use it to take trips and send her pics...and boy does she get mad if W/we buy her something...she says make sure you can either fit into the clothes or you like the knick-knacks cuz someday your getting them back...lol




Edited to mention I think I might have gone way offff topic.....
And when it comes to My submissives I have 3 in their mid to late 50's.
I make sure they stay healthy.I want them around for as long as possible.

< Message edited by MistressSassy66 -- 8/3/2006 6:45:22 PM >

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

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