Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Top's disease.


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Top's disease. Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Top's disease. - 8/4/2006 8:27:11 AM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		"Top's disease,"  the tendency for some Dom/mes to grow into a sense of infallibility or omniscience
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've had to eat some crow in the past over this on a personal level. It happened when I was into this about five years. Fortunately, a sense of reality and of how badly it was effecting my ability to relate competently managed to help me get past it.

I feel that a bit of humility is essential in a Dominant being able to lead a well balanced life. Mistakes are how we learn not to make the same ones. Denial of them dooms repetition.

Ever had to deal with Top's disease?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Top's disease. - 8/4/2006 9:12:00 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline 		Homestead,
Yes I have had this. I think that alot of newly practising dominants tend to over exaggurate their own self worth. But then again, I think alot of super models, actors/actresses and sports figures tend to do the same thing.

_____________________________





(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Top's disease. - 8/4/2006 9:23:11 AM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		I sort of got over the god complex when I realized how ludircous I looked to everyone else.

By seeing another guy doing the same thing.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Top's disease. - 8/4/2006 9:26:34 AM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline 		I've never felt that way about myself as a dominant,  but it drives me crazy when I am approached by a sub who wants to view me as totally superior and infallible.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Top's disease. - 8/4/2006 9:29:43 AM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn

I've never felt that way about myself as a dominant,  but it drives me crazy when I am approached by a sub who wants to view me as totally superior and infallible.

Be well,
Julie


I get rid of those by asking them if my superiority is enough to overcome thier diaper hard limit. On them,not me.

Filters are SO much fun to use!

And so easy!




(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Top's disease. - 8/4/2006 9:33:46 AM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline 		Ah... a healthy dose of humility is good for all souls, great or small...
 
~raiken

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Top's disease. - 8/4/2006 9:49:16 AM   
MistressLorelei


Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		I like to do things right the first time, and every time that follows.  I have higher expectations for myself than for anyone else.

I have gotten better, but will admit that I still need some work in this area.  Mistakes are inevitable... and  learning from them is doing something right.

There is no perfection... but failing again and again in trying to achieve it isn't good for the soul.


(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Top's disease. - 8/4/2006 10:28:49 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		I've certainly made my share of misstakes! Just like anyone else.
It's funny, I've noticed in CM that about once a week we'll have a Dom come in here and say it's "HIS" way or the highway, that only "HE" knows the "true way" and that all the Doms in here are
"not really Doms" because they don't do things "HIS" way.
Have any of you ever met two Doms who are exactly alike? I never have! Everyone has their own way of doing things.

(in reply to MistressLorelei)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Top's disease. - 8/4/2006 10:30:33 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn

I've never felt that way about myself as a dominant,  but it drives me crazy when I am approached by a sub who wants to view me as totally superior and infallible.

Be well,
Julie


Ditto. 

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Top's disease. - 8/4/2006 10:33:26 AM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Then calling oneself Dark Lord Master Of The Whole Wide World is a problem? 

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Top's disease. - 8/4/2006 10:37:49 AM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline 		ON the flip...
 
"I know exactly what you need" this, on the first IM.
"oh yeah? wow, can you please fill me in on what i need?"
 
and..."you will NEVER meet another that can master you as I can"...."really? wow, can you explain how i need to be mastered?"
 
or..."i have years ahead of you, so just TRUST me, for i KNOW"...another first IM...
 
and the list goes on...

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Top's disease. - 8/4/2006 10:50:30 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Raiken, yup, those are some good ones as well! And very "common" comming from people who are supposed to be so,...shall we say..."Special?"

(in reply to raiken)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Top's disease. - 8/4/2006 11:00:39 AM   
WhipTheHip


Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline 		The more power I am given, the more humble I become.  When I was in fourth grade I became a crossing guard.  They gave me a badge and special straps to wear, and power over others.   I became intoxicated with the power.  After that experience, I could see how badly I acted and treated others.  The next time I was given a position of power as head of my shop class, I took the job no one wanted: cleaning the bathroom.  I anounced this firrst to everyone in the class.  Then asked everyone what job they wanted to do.  Previous heads of the shop class picked the best job for themselves, and assigned jobs willy-nilly to others based on their own personal whim, giving the most coveted jobs to their friends.  I was able to give just about everyone the job they wanted, and had them flip coins to decide jobs which had too much interest.  After that, the members of the shop class looked up to me, and claimed I was the best shop head.  
 
If a sub gave me power to do what I want with her body, and exercise control over her will, I would feel honored, humbled, unworthy and lucky.  I would take time to understand her needs, her cravings, her dislikes, and her aversions, and I would make sure they are met before my own.   I would treat her how I would want to be treated, if I were a sub.   I always try to put myself in the shoes of others, and treat them how I would want, need or crave to be treated if I were in there place with their needs, desires and cravings..  That is my religion.   Of course, sometimes it is hard to know what others really need, desire and crave.  This is why I really try to get to know someone before I would play or scene with them.
 
With love, lashes, and endless hugs,
Michael

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Top's disease. - 8/4/2006 11:02:23 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead
Ever had to deal with Top's disease?

Constantly, though less often as I get older.  New tops look at younger meat and go all sorts of insane.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_318504/mpage_1/key_top%252Cdisease/tm.htm#318504
Tops Disease



_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Top's disease. - 8/4/2006 11:15:29 AM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		One key thing I have found in the past was this-when I wanted to puff up-it was from not feeling secure about something. When that realization hits you, you do what is needed to fix the problem-then see aout relationships-after.

If you go into things with a messed up head, no one is going to be happy-especially you.

And ONLY you can do something about it.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Top's disease. - 8/4/2006 3:59:02 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Ever had to deal with Top's disease?

Yes I have
I  can say from experience The Dominant was well  known and in the scene for 20 plus years. By no means New. From what I have heard- hasnt changed either

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Top's disease. - 8/4/2006 9:15:17 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		For some reason some Doms don't think that you can be Dominant AND be a nice person to be around at the same time.
I disagree, going around with your nose up in the air doesn't make you Dominant it makes you look pompous.
One of the ways I use to make myself a better Dominant is to listen to what a sub has to say. I learn a lot more using my ears and eyes than my mouth.

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Top's disease. - 8/4/2006 9:17:05 PM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		Newp havent heard of it.

thanks for the education.......

:: drinks her pepsi and looks around warily at the Tops on the sight::


_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Top's disease. - 8/4/2006 9:37:31 PM   
enigmabrat


Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline 		you know the saying absalute power currupts absalutly...

oh and look up the term banevalent Despot... you prolly wont find them together but i was taught this term in 7th grade by a teacher that still remains my favorate... he said that was what he was...

the things that stick in her head huh

_____________________________

Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to Devilslilsister)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Top's disease. - 8/4/2006 11:47:50 PM   
MzMinx


Posts: 277
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		*grins*  what .... are you all saying the world doesnt revolve round me .. and its not all about me ..... and I could be wrong ... and make a  mistake  *puts hands on hips..pouts and does her best foot  tapping * piffel
I am the ultimate  goddess  you will bow down and do everything I command .....and scritch my  belly till I purrrrr

oppppsssss  *grins*  sorry I think I was channeling next doors  cat

Like everyone else I have had my days  of superiority  *laughs* ...its nice to grow up from them..... 

Its lovely to be adored and worshiped....  but it doesnt make me Godly nor perfect ... or indeed  any better  than anyone

*warm smile*



(in reply to enigmabrat)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Top's disease. Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.125