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GoddessDustyGold -> RE: "No Tie = No Service" (12/27/2004 6:37:07 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: warlock4821
I have for the last few days elected to refrain from responding to any of the statements made by all contributing members in regards to this topic with the hope of gleaning some valuable information as to how people view this topic and how they make judgements based on the perspective of each respondant. I think each participant's comments were well stated and very enlightening. I want to thank all of you for your input and insight, whether you agreed with my position or not, which I view as irrelevant to the conversation.
I initially chose to respond to this discussion not to clear myself of any mis-step on my part, but to state my perspective of the aspects of the situation and given the circumstances, get a better understanding of the evaluation process, or lack thereof, and the acceptable interaction between the domme and the submissive. There was a noticeable gap in the responses due to the problems encountered on this site and I especially want to thank Topcat, MaitresseEden, and MistressJadeMTL for the comprehensive responses and in keeping the topic current considering the down time.
To add to my comments regarding the meeting in question, I personally hold no malice to any ones comments on either side of the issue nor the actions of the Mistress in question. I regard all the actions and responses as a having a very positive impact on my understanding of the dominate influence and hope others gain insight in reading the interaction of those envolved in the discussion.
The facts of the issue remain as I see them as follows:
1- During the first meeting or interview of a sub with a Mistress, when no codes or standards have been outlined or discussed, is it wrong for a sub to conduct himself within the parameters of acceptable social venues or standards, or is the sub evaluated based on not meeting standards in the mind of the domme only?
2- Can a sub fail an interview for only following the normal standards of acceptable social conduct and interaction before getting to know a domme and her pre-requisites?
3- Is a sub always wrong no matter what in the eyes of his domme and all other dommes because a domme says so?
I would appreciate further insights.
Thank you,
Warlock
warlock,
First of all I would like to say that in My scaning of all this, I did not realize that you were the subject of the discussion. If I had, I would have addressed your post also, as I only glanced at part of it, and thought you were referring to another experience in a different set of circumstances with a different Mistress. I thought your choice of dress was very elegant and appropriate. So I do apologize for making a wrong assumption in a quick and partial read of your post.
At times, when arrangements are being made for a first meeting, the sub will ask about My preferences for his dress. In that case, I will tell him, and W/we can determine if he has something appropriate in his closet. I have met subs in formal Tuxedos, and in jeans and a polo shirt.
In answer to your questions and keeping in mind that all Dommes have different standards and codes of acceptable behavior:
1. No, I would not have considered you wrong and from what I understand, your behavior would have been perfectly acceptable to Me.
2. No, you would not have failed with Me.
3. We often speak of things in a somewhat general manner on these boards, or we should, since everyone has different standards and expectations. So even when something pretty specific is brought up, you will still see different answers and attitudes, as priorities are different with each person. I, Myself, looked at this as a possible future problem, if the attitude is "no tie", because it is more important for the sub to be comfortable. So I might do a test or two, to see how important I am, and how much the sub has the capability of pleasing Me. We all agree to disagree alot here, and the discussions are very helpful in giving new perspectives. Often, something that seems terribly important will turn out to be be not so important , after all, or we learn new ways to look at things.
I will say this: Unless you are into complete 24/7 browbeating and humiliation, if you are with a Domme who always makes you feel like you are wrong, no matter what, best find a new Domme! However, if you choose a Domme, and She chooses you, and She says you are wrong, by Her standards, in some specific matter or the other...then, you are wrong. It really doesn't matter what other Dommes think, because you are still wrong according to Her standards. It may be perfectly okay for Me, but if it is not for Her...well, you get the drift!
Choose wisely, and best of luck to you!
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