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Bisexuality and women - 12/15/2004 5:57:51 AM

sweetpleaser

Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
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I've had this question in my mind for some time and thought I'd go ahead and ask it now since it was brought up on another thread that I didn't want to hijack. I noticed that there are countless female profiles that list they are bisexual or bicurious. I have nothing against bisexuality; I am just curious why there are so many. Is it because the lifestyle is alternative and maybe more accepting? Or, do the women think it makes them more appealing to men to be bisexual since it seems to be a prevalent male fantasy to be with two women? Again, I am not judging anyone, just noticed the statistics of bisexual to straight orientation.

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

Post #: 1

RE: Bisexuality and women - 12/15/2004 6:30:12 AM

srahfox

Posts: 261
Joined: 10/17/2004
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It's been my opinion for a long time that it's just more acceptable to be Bi if you are female. (Of course I could be biased because I am bi) Most people raise their boys to be... well boys. That is just not acceptable, not right. So even if a guy should want to try a little something on the side, he's not as likely too. However girl on girl.. well that's hot. The tv says so, the movies say so, books say so. I don't know how many times I've had guys ask if they could watch. My best friend (And first lover) threw me for a loop once calling someone a LUG. Huh?? I said. Lesbian Until Graduation. Apparently it's common enough for collage girls to try a little something that they have a name for it. I love being Bi, I think it's great. It saddens me that there may be men who feel they can not try something out. Even if they do, they often don't talk about it. I just found out someone very close to me had multiple bi encounters when he was younger. I've known him for ten years and I think I'm the only person he's ever told.

(in reply to sweetpleaser)

Post #: 2

RE: Bisexuality and women - 12/15/2004 7:04:25 AM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
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Actually, being the sort of encouragable snoop that randomly reads profiles just to see what's been written, I notice a some folks specifically stating that they don't want bisexual men, while many others specifically state that they do want bisexual women. There have been a few who stated that masculine bisexuality was a must, or a bonus, but for the most part, as Sara has pointed out, guys are not encouraged to experiment in this way.

And yes, I've observed variations of the LUG concept. Not only have we, as a society, become conditioned to accept feminine bisexuality or even lesbianism as non-threatening (as long as it's for the pleasure of a guy or fits into his fantasy), many of my friends who "used to be bi" point out that we're taught a greater appreciation of the feminine form. "Guys just aren't attractive" several of them would say to me.

Actually, female bisexual submissives appear to be THE hot commodity on this site. I wouldn't be surprised if it's pretty common elsewhere, too. I have encountered almost no straight male doms saying "no bisexuals", And of course there are the het/bi dominant couples (For some reason it's always the guy who's het) looking for a submissive third, and of course few lesbian dominants are unwilling to consider a bisexual female. Finally, as has been commented upon in other threads, there are a huge morass of female submissives actively hunting for an additional female bisexual submissive to join the household.

Everywhere I turn, I keep seeing the same thing, over and over again. NO MEN.

It has been occuring to me, of late, that part of the problem with HNGs might simply be the constant, overwhelming amount of rejection guys face on this site.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to srahfox)

Post #: 3

RE: Bisexuality and women - 12/15/2004 7:19:54 AM

siamsa24

Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
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Just to quote a little statistic from the wonderful Cosmopoliton (I'm not sure what issue, I can't find it on their site at the moment, it was sometime about 5 years ago) over 50% of women admit to having lesbian tendencies and an estimated 90% or more have them and don't admit to them.
Now I know that Cosmo is not the most reputable source, but they seem to have very good advice about sex and things

(in reply to sweetpleaser)

Post #: 4

RE: Bisexuality and women - 12/15/2004 8:20:51 AM

MistressFire70

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Female submissives want to please their Master. I'd guess that 99% of men think girl on girl action is hot. Therefore, a female sub is inclined to be or say she is bi in order to be pleasing.

To me, sexual orientation is different than sexual encounter preference. Orientation refers to the sex that you are attracted to; the sex that you can fall in love with. Sexual encounter preference refers to who you're willing to fuck. So, some can have sex with both sexes, but only really be able to fall in love with one sex. I'd label that person het, gay or lesbian, not bi.

But then, this is me and these are my labels.

Fire

_____________________________

you have come to a great chasm. Jump. It's not as wide as you think.

(in reply to sweetpleaser)

Post #: 5

RE: Bisexuality and women - 12/15/2004 8:50:09 AM

INSIDEYOURMIND

Posts: 483
Status: offline

I remember the comic Andrew Dice Clay's take on bisexuality, he wondered if a bisexual person woke up in the morning, and flipped a coin, heads it was hairpie, and tails it was balls across the nose!

Bisexuality is a choice, not a label, and a personal choice, not something to use to judge another.

_____________________________

If I got smart with you.................
How would you know?

(in reply to MistressFire70)

Post #: 6

RE: Bisexuality and women - 12/15/2004 8:51:05 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

We rent a lot of porn videos and almost all of them now show female on female as much as male on female. However none of the ones we have rented have ever shown male on male.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to sweetpleaser)

Post #: 7

RE: Bisexuality and women - 12/15/2004 9:08:23 AM

feline

Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline

quote:

I noticed that there are countless female profiles that list they are bisexual or bicurious. I have nothing against bisexuality; I am just curious why there are so many

I don't list my "bi-sexuality" on my profile. Simply because if it came down to it and I had to choose, men would win. I'm not looking for a poly-relationaship. And I don't feel it should be determining factor in whether or not someone chooses to talk to me.

quote:

Is it because the lifestyle is alternative and maybe more accepting?

I became "bi-curious" while still in my "vanilla" marriage. Most of my relationships with women were during that time. I can't really speak for everyone else.

Take care,

Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

(in reply to sweetpleaser)

Post #: 8

RE: Bisexuality and women - 12/15/2004 10:30:14 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: INSIDEYOURMIND
Bisexuality is a choice, not a label, and a personal choice, not something to use to judge another.

How is it a choice any more than heterosexuality is a choice?

I know I didn't spesifically choose to be attracted to people of every gender. It just is. I choose the people I am with, yes, but I don't pick who I'm attracted to.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to INSIDEYOURMIND)

Post #: 9

RE: Bisexuality and women - 12/15/2004 10:47:23 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

How is it a choice any more than heterosexuality is a choice?

this is in no way meant to answer your question directed at INSIDEYOURMIND, however, if the Master of a female heterosexual slave makes the choice for her to engage in sexual activities with another female, her resultant bisexuality is a choice, made by her Master.

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 10

RE: Bisexuality and women - 12/15/2004 11:04:21 AM

INSIDEYOURMIND

Posts: 483
Status: offline

quote:

How is it a choice any more than heterosexuality is a choice?

Because hetrosexuality is a choice as well.

_____________________________

If I got smart with you.................
How would you know?

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 11

RE: Bisexuality and women - 12/15/2004 11:42:23 AM

srahfox

Posts: 261
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline

I never felt I had a choice in how I found attractive. I am Bi. I didn't deside I was. Really is a hetro womans master chooses for her to sleep with anouther woman, it doesn't make her Bi. Just obediant. I choose to sleep with woman as well as men, but I know I can fall in love with both. I can't help getting excited about putting my hand down someones pants, male or female. I've always thought that men got the short end of the stick here, they really don't get the option to want to be with a man. If they do, well obviously they are gay right? I personally don't find male on male action exciting, but I'm also not repulsed by it. If my Master wanted to be with a man... well more power to him. He loves that I want to be with woman and that seems to be common. Woman have the 'freedom' to be Bi. But heaven forbid a man say they want the same thing!

(in reply to INSIDEYOURMIND)

Post #: 12

RE: Bisexuality and women - 12/16/2004 12:30:06 AM

harmony3709

Posts: 292
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline

This is an interesting topic for me because the fact that I do not consider myself to be bi has seemed to cause the most conversations and criticism of anything I have encountered since being in the lifestyle for over 3-1/2 years, 2-1/2 of that real time. I have received emails that state "there is no such thing as a sub who is not bi" to "you should just state that you are bi and more Doms will be interested in you" to everything else you can think of. Not daily or even weekly, but it is a constant reoccurring theme of emails.

The same has been true when I meet people (involved in the lifestyle) or in discussions at munches. There is this look as if I just stated something totally incredulous and then comes the argument about how that cannot possibly be true. I might add that this comes from women and men, subs and doms, experienced and newbies, no matter. If not an argument, then it is that look of amusement, pat on the head and a comment something akin to......that's ok, honey, you keep believeing that but we know different.

With all the different kinks people practice, I find it totally amazing that the fact that I consider myself to be a straight woman to be the most shocking and apparently most unacceptable. The worst thing about it is that while at one time I might have said I was more bi-curious, but I have become so defensive about it that I no longer even think of it.
When I began dating someone seriously, I told him that if it was his wish for me to be with another women, I would out of obedience. This never came up in the short time we were together; however, I would have obeyed if it had and if in a serious relationship again, my answer would be the same. However, I still do not consider this obedience as being bisexual; thus, I do not consider it honest to identify myself as bisexual.

Sorry for the rant.........this is something I just do not understand and find a very strange thing to provoke the kind of reactions I have received from people.

harmony

(in reply to sweetpleaser)

Post #: 13

RE: Bisexuality and women - 12/16/2004 4:52:53 AM

kiki blue

Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
Status: offline

I'm just greedy, and open to opportunity

I'm attracted to the person, not what set of chromosones they have, and choose to not limit myself to whether they have an innie or an outie.

Denise.

_____________________________

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

(in reply to harmony3709)

Post #: 14

RE: Bisexuality and women - 12/16/2004 10:11:56 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

How is it a choice any more than heterosexuality is a choice?

this is in no way meant to answer your question directed at INSIDEYOURMIND, however, if the Master of a female heterosexual slave makes the choice for her to engage in sexual activities with another female, her resultant bisexuality is a choice, made by her Master.

In my definition, this isn't bisexuality. This is same-sex contact. The person in question is behaving sexually with one of the same gender. He/she is not becoming physcially or mentally attracted to that person.

Of course bisexual contact is always a choice, as is any sexual contact. I don't understand how sexual or non-sexual attraction is a choice.

quote:

INSIDEYOURMIND
Because hetrosexuality is a choice as well.

Please explain? As said above, I can see how any sexual contact is a choice, but not how attraction is.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 15

RE: Bisexuality and women - 12/16/2004 10:25:43 AM

Destinysskeins

Posts: 267
Joined: 7/1/2004
Status: offline

Greetings,

kiki - cute answer!!

i do agree that bisexuality is more commonly accepted in females than in men and thus women tend to be more open about this side of their sexuality than men are. Also, it's true that many women enter into bisexuality in order to please their Masters - but i'd agree that this isn't necessarily true bisexuality as well. i wonder sometimes though if form has a bit to do with it as well. Women are designed to be sexual beings in many ways - they're curvy, attractive, smell pretty (usually!) and there's just so much one can with them. Not saying that some of these same things don't apply to men as well but *shrugs* at least in my mind it's just a bit different.

At least in my case i do believe that it's an inherent thing - i remember having my first lesbian/bisexual thoughts about a girl i was friends with in 4-H (god bless the person who made english riding breeches!). Hmm - crops, boots, leather.....maybe that was part of the BDSM draw as well! In any case, it works for me, my Master and apparently a good number of other people as well so as the old saying goes - if it ain't broke, don't fix it!

Well wishes

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 16

RE: Bisexuality and women - 12/17/2004 9:12:19 PM

Nvernilla

Posts: 303
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline

well it seems like women are less homophobic just by the nature of personality type...I like females so much that if I was in a female body I'd surely be gay...Mike

(in reply to sweetpleaser)

Post #: 17

RE: Bisexuality and women - 12/17/2004 9:55:00 PM

djargus

Posts: 8
Joined: 6/24/2004
From: Neptune, NJ
Status: offline

A quick question about the profiles of women listing themselves as "bi-sexual". I am curious about the "NO MEN" section I see on a great many of these in the profile yet listed as bi-sexual. I am curious why they don't just list as lesbian if only seeking a female relationship. (as a man wouldn't list "bi-sexual" as a preference if he wanted only men)

I only have two theories of my own, please help me understand if I am incorrect. First the "hot commodity" idea mentioned earlier, a woman might be more sought out by another female on this site if considered bi-sexual rather then lesbian? Or two, they had a bad experence with men which makes them want to do women only rather then play both sides of her sexuality.

(in reply to Nvernilla)

Post #: 18

RE: Bisexuality and women - 12/17/2004 10:33:06 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: djargus

A quick question about the profiles of women listing themselves as "bi-sexual". I am curious about the "NO MEN" section I see on a great many of these in the profile yet listed as bi-sexual. I am curious why they don't just list as lesbian if only seeking a female relationship. (as a man wouldn't list "bi-sexual" as a preference if he wanted only men)

Just because they're looking for a relationship with another woman at this particular time, how do you figure that changes their sexual orientation? People's needs and desires are always changing and there are many reasons why a bisexual woman might not be looking for a relationship with a man at a specific point in time. That hardly make them any less bisexual.

As a simple (and admittedly weak) comparison, if an onmivore suddenly has a craving for vegetables, does that suddenly make them a vegetarian?

quote:

I only have two theories of my own, please help me understand if I am incorrect. First the "hot commodity" idea mentioned earlier, a woman might be more sought out by another female on this site if considered bi-sexual rather then lesbian? Or two, they had a bad experence with men which makes them want to do women only rather then play both sides of her sexuality.

I think you're reading way too much into the situation.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to djargus)

Post #: 19

RE: Bisexuality and women - 12/18/2004 4:46:40 AM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

bi·sex·u·al
Pronunciation: (")bI-'sek-sh(&-)w&l, -sh&l
Function: adjective
Date: 1824
1 a : possessing characters of both sexes : b : sexually oriented toward both sexes
2 : of, relating to, or involving both sexes

That's Websters definition, I myself fit into category 2. I relate to being involved with both sexes. I've enjoyed the BI aspect of myself, but if I had to Choose where I would rather spend my time, it's with a man. My being attracted to other females has conjured many Dom's out of the wood work who are seeking that ultimate Male fantasy. I dont know if it's just the excitement of possibly finding one that will provide that willingly or if it's simply their only reason to make *me* the choice anymore. That demand is always rearing it's head quite quickly. So quickly in fact that it's become a *limit* of sorts for me.
This has become such an issue that I have considered lying about being BI, tossing the towel over to the box that say's straight. Using selectivly BI helps, but all in all I have to agree with Mercnbeth on this one, if it was to please my Dom (who ever he ends up being) I would dive right in at his lead, yet what I'm used to hearing is "go find us a woman". It's those few words when uttered that crumble my respect, giving me a totally *different* and much more Vanilla view of my chosen one. Sorry for the rant, I'm just so tired of being the entertainment.

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 20

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