Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Service


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Service Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Service - 8/5/2006 10:04:50 AM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		i see some (i am referring here to slaves/submissives because they are the ones i relate most to) talking about how they cannot find One to serve, etc. 

service is something i do every day, all day and i call NoOne Master.  Do you only get fulfillment by serving One?  i do not, but that is me.  Thoughts, comments?

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Service - 8/5/2006 10:10:19 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

i see some (i am referring here to slaves/submissives because they are the ones i relate most to) talking about how they cannot find One to serve, etc. 

service is something i do every day, all day and i call NoOne Master.  Do you only get fulfillment by serving One?  i do not, but that is me.  Thoughts, comments?

Services does not equal submissive.  Most great doms and masters out there get HUGE fulfillment out of serving- serving their country, their community, their children, their relationship.  Service is an inner drive.  We have civil servants, we have volunteers, we have religious servants and more- all of those come from some inner fulfillment gained by service.

In some ways, service as a submissive is often the most selfish kind- they keep it to only one person, in only one relationship, with only the one person who takes all the time and energy to training and making them feel loved.

There are also many orientations of submissive beyond service.  Some are oriented towards obedience, some towards control, some towards pleasure.  None of these are better or worse than the other, and many are some combinations of those.

I get fulfillment from many sources, but mainly by being true to myself.  It is only through that path which any service to others can be meaningful.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Service - 8/5/2006 10:15:58 AM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you LA.  What you have said has made me stop and think and i agree with you 100%.   i guess my 'take' on it is this... i do not have a Master, but that doesn't mean i can't/don't get my 'submissive' feed elsewhere.  i do...

now getting my arse beat... that's a different thread!

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Service - 8/5/2006 10:22:08 AM   
sharainks


Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline 		You can get your "submissive feed" from other things.  I do it every day.  If you like Freud the term is sublimation.  Fulfilling a need through an alternate method. It may not be great but it beats no fulfillment.


(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Service - 8/5/2006 10:31:04 AM   
KarbonCopy


Posts: 779
Status: offline 		I'm submissive but I'm not a servant.

I do not perform service well. Though I like to help sometimes, and be a team player, I'm in no way service orientated.


_____________________________

I am KarbonCopy's signature

(in reply to sharainks)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Service - 8/5/2006 11:31:58 AM   
81song


Posts: 293
Joined: 1/22/2005
Status: offline 		Good post
Yes, for myself I have an inner drive to help others. I have always been that way. Right now we are helping kids down in the New Orelans area.
As a sub, well there is a deep well there but once the trust is there then I am open for her and being a servant could be apart of that.

(in reply to KarbonCopy)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Service - 8/5/2006 12:03:54 PM   
Aneirin


Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline 		That's where I think I have this confused,I am of a predominantly submissive nature in real life,and I really do thrive on helping people,but,I have dominant desires,these more powerful than my submissive desires,confusion or what.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Service - 8/5/2006 12:04:54 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
Submission and service are different.  I serve many - I submit to only one.
I agree with what Em said.*saves typing*
Peace and Rapture


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Service - 8/5/2006 1:26:26 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

i see some (i am referring here to slaves/submissives because they are the ones i relate most to) talking about how they cannot find One to serve, etc. 

service is something i do every day, all day and i call NoOne Master.  Do you only get fulfillment by serving One?  i do not, but that is me.  Thoughts, comments?


When someone laments they can't find someone to "serve", it usualy means they can't find someone to serve the way they (said lamenter) sees fit as to their own personal definition of what service is.

What needs to happen is that the Dom/Me and sub need to be on the same page. And it takes work to find that mix.  There is no magic formula. Most of the times it's just dumb luck.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Service - 8/5/2006 1:47:24 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		Yes i think that's it for me in a nutshell.  i serve many... submit to no One... thank you!

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Service - 8/5/2006 2:08:33 PM   
MmakeMme


Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline 		My career is service-oriented. I am a Daisy Scout (soon to be Brownie Scout) troop leader. I volunteer at the animal shelter. Interesting point about there being a connection to being submissive and the things one chooses to do. Never thought about it until now. It will be interesting to see everyone's responses.

_____________________________

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Service - 8/5/2006 2:18:41 PM   
Satyr6406


Posts: 820
Joined: 3/27/2006
From: New Brunswick, N.J.
Status: offline 		Albatross, first of all, as a former serviceman and the father of one of ours that's in harms way, thank you for mentioning the vets.
 
... but, for more than one reason. I find the looks I get, when I speak of "serving", to people in this lifestyle, very un-nerving.
 
I guess the term conjures a certain image. I am proud of my service (which continues, in other ways, to this day). It is the ONLY way that I feel that I can even come close to relating to a submissive's thought process. I give a lot of credit to submissives. They do something I could never do.
 
Okay, aside from all that, I'd like to take the other side of the coin, here:
 
I cannot tell you how many ladies who, in my estimation, do not demonstrate what I consider to be "submissive qualities" respond with: "I'm a submissive but, not a doormat."
 
In my mind, that is a reasonable statement, on the surface but, in this particular instance, it seems to be a rationalization.
 
As a couple of people have stated, here, a submissive doesn't have to do a "Gorean serve" or kneel to every self-proclaimed "dominant", in the room.
 
I find that true submissives enjoy "doing the little things" that many people may not notice. Example: I was standing outside a bar, with a group of people, smoking. I left my cigarettes on the bench. As we were "breaking it up" to go back inside, a young lady who had been paying me some attention, grabbed my cell phone and cigarettes and said: "I'll carry these for you."
 
Most wouldn't have recognized that "small" gesture. I did and, immediately, I found a reason to strike up a more in-depth conversation and she explained that she HAD to do little things like that to make herself feel "normal" (her word).
 
I cannot pretend to fully relate but, I certainly can empathize.
 
 
 
 
 
Michael

_____________________________

Peace and comfort,


Michael

Former Vice-President Gore didn't invent the internet but, he DID make up global warming!

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Service - 8/5/2006 2:44:52 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		~smiles~... it is the little things (in my own opinion) that matters most... from serving at a soup kitchen to holding the door for someone or offering to help some one unload their groceries, etc.  Having said this, i would love to find One to submit to, but since i haven't yet, i find other ways to serve... it is just who i am...

and truth to tell i may never again find One to submit to... if all i can do is what i can do... i am happy with that.



_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to MmakeMme)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Service - 8/5/2006 2:50:19 PM   
BillsGalSusan


Posts: 69
Joined: 7/18/2006
Status: offline 		My take is (mebbe as usual) a bit different.

I do a whole lot of very ordinary things, and almost without exception, those things are done with a process going on in my mind that I think of as being "in relation to" Bill's needs, wants, or preferences. I'm not saying that when I go for a manicure, it is in any way some sort of example of submissiveness or a craving to serve, but when I choose baking potatoes (nope, don't eat them myself) in the market, I judge them not just to see that they are free of sprouts and blemishes, but also in terms of the size he prefers and their potential to be aesthetically pleasing on his plate. Simple acts--making a bed, doing the laundry, preparing a meal--have meaning beyond their intrinsic value as components of a pleasant, well run home. They have added value as part of the dance between the two of us.

Does this mean that I go about experiencing great joy when I am emptying the litter boxes? Nope. I also don't get wet and tingly when I fold Bill's socks. That being said, even after a whole lot of time has passed, a great many things that are oh so ordinary have extra meaning and importance in my life because they are done "in relation to" my dominant partner.

I do quite a bit of volunteer work, and it is an entirely different kind of service. I do it because I believe I have a responsibility to use my talents to help other people when I can. I do it because I like the feeling I get when I know I have made a difference in someone else's life. It makes me feel good, but I don't see it as a reflection of my submissiveness. It is a reflection of my membership in the human race.

Another Susan

(in reply to Satyr6406)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Service - 8/5/2006 3:11:20 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Satyr6406, from another veteran thankyou for your and your son's service to our country!
Dominants also like to get into community service work as well.
I belong to a number of veteran's orgs and also the Ancient Order of Hibernians and we do things like working in soup kitchens and raising a lot of money for food banks, disadvantaged kids etc.
I've been very fortunate in life to be able to do these kinds of things to "give back" to the community.

(in reply to BillsGalSusan)
Profile   Post #: 15
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Service Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078