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WhipTheHip -> TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!!!!! (8/6/2006 5:47:14 AM)
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TRIGGER WARNING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR SURVIVORS
THIS POST CONTAINS MATERIAL THAT IS TRIGGERING.
Personally, I dreamed about bdsm in sixth and seventh grade.
I can'T think of any enviromental reason for my having these
very bdsm specific fantasies.
I do suspect that physical, emotional, or sexual abuse can
lead to an interest in bdsm. Humans are imprinted by their
first sexual experience. If a female child is spanked and
finds it erotic, this feeling my last for the rest of her life.
If a female child was sexually abused, this can make the
child submissive. Adults who were sexually abused as
children often find sex repulsive and disgusting because
their first sexual experience was repulsive and disgusting.
When they start craving sex, they feel conflicted about it.
They may feel shame and guilt. Having their partner tie
them allows them to indulge in sex without the guilt,
because they are not having sex voluntarily. If the first
sexual experience was r*pe, then the person may find
reinacting that experience is the only way they can enjoy
sex. Likewise, if someone was "used" their first sexual
experience, they may continue to enjoy being used. If
a child was whipped or beaten with belt, they may crave
being whipped or whipping others.
Psychodrama or reinactment of a traumatic experience
can be healaing. It is also a form of desensitization.
Abuse sometimes makes the child dominant, defiant
and sadistic, this occurs more often with male children,
where testosterone turns anger outwards instead of
inwards as is the case with most female survivors
who turn their anger inwards and become submissive.
People become ***INURED*** to their environment.
People adapt to their environment. So if a child is
in an abusive environment, they may adapt to
their environment by learning to accept the abuse.
Masochism and submission can be coping mechanisms
for highly abusive environments.
Testosterone plays an important role in dominance. There
is a very strong correlation between serum level testosterone
and dominance in all mammals.
Physical pain can also be used to block out psychological
pain. Once a person discovers the endorphins associated
with physical pain, they can become addicted to those
endorphins.
Most females have strong sexual inhibitions. Sexual abuse
as a child removes those natural inhibitions and makes some
survivors much less sexually inhibited. It is quite common
for survivors of sexual abuse to be quite active sexually, and
more open to new sexual experiences. Of course, many
survivors of sexual abuse lose all interest in sex. I suppose
it matters how strong their libido would have been. Survivors
with a weak libido will be completely turned off to sex, those
with a high libido have a good chance of turning to bdsm to
resolve their internal conflict between their disgust with sex,
and their craving for sex.
Childhood abuse can lead to lifelong depression, DID (formerly
MPD), cutting, border line personality disorder, low self-esteem,
alienation, distrust in everyone especially men (if a male was the
perp), substance abuse, promiscuity, guilt, shame, self-blame,
self-hate, feeling dirty, feeling different than others, feeling like
you have a dark secret that needs to be hidden, anger turned
inwards, numbness, an inability to form close relationships with
people, an inability to love, a change in sexual orientation, a
hatred toward men, repressed anger which explodes from
time-to-time at loved ones, cynicism, negativity, an absense
of faith in mankind, paranoia, sociopathy, anti-social behavior,
cigarette use, obesity, psychosis, flashbacks, creating a walled
city around their heart, post-traumatic stress syndrome, an
inability to beileve anyone is good, prostitution, always
anticipating and expecting the worst, accepting bad to
avoid the anxiety of getting it by surprise, a need to always
be in contol or a desire to be controlled.
Physical pain can be used to block psychological pain,
and fight a feeling of numbness.
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