RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (Full Version)

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[Poll]

Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do?


Yes, Paying more attention to a game to that extent is cheating.
  13% (10)
No, Its not cheating.
  24% (18)
Dump him.
  39% (29)
Keep him.
  0% (0)
Other ( Please reply to the thread if you have other advice.
  2% (2)
Need more info.
  20% (15)


Total Votes : 74
(last vote on : 2/4/2008 3:03:18 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )


Message


leatherorlace -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 1:16:02 AM)

There you go, promoting species hatred again. lol
Gentry
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tygereyes2006 -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 1:16:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Where's the "he needs to grow up" option?


AMEN! I should have put that up as an option!




FelinePersuasion -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 2:47:49 AM)

If living at home doesn't interfear with the relationship, IE him having you over having a normal relationship while you're over then I don't think there's a problem with living at home at an advanced age. I wouldn't but nothing wrong with someone else who chooses to. unless their just to lazy to try to live on own.

Living is expensive I've seen and had friends who just couldn't afford normal life and ended up going back home for a while. yes they had jobs, they still ended up needing help.
quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond

To be totally honest, if he still lives at home with his parents and he is almost 30 then there may be deeper issues than an over addiction to a game, it shows a lack of adult behaviour to me and unwillingness to take responsibility for oneself, also can't be much fun for you!




puella -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 6:26:05 AM)

Very well put Estring!




Level -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 6:34:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tygereyes2006

So here's the deal ... I started dating my man/dom about 3 months ago. We were trying the distance thing and we were ok at first and then I showed him this game I play sometimes and he got hooked, now its all he talks about and all he wants to do! We are both out of work, and while I look for work easily 12 hours a day 7 days a week and he plays the game and not much else. If I want to talk to him I have to go into the game and chat with him there or call him and if I want to see him I have to go there! My long distance bill is through the roof  and I just can not afford the gas to keep going there every time we want to see each other! Its a good 3 hour drive there!  I'm going to go broke trying to keep this "relationship" together. Sorry about the rant, but I don't know what to do! What I want to know is what ya'll think about the situation, I'm doing a poll and a thread to get advice! Yes I have talked to him about it, and he says nothing's changed, that its all in my head, and its ok that I pay for everything right now because he has no income and I at least have unemployment and that includes all the phone bills, gas food, etc .... But things have changed, the game is like a drug to him, he's forming an addiction to it, and he treats me completely different than he did before. I feel like an idiot for ever sharing it with him.


It's certainly not "cheating", but he sounds a bit lazy and dense; that what you want in your life?




alovelylady4U -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 7:03:11 AM)

Strange you mention this. i met a very nice sub not long ago. i knew her D from before and often chatted or sold items to Him .When she arrived and lived 24/7- she had never felt so ignored. Now i realize 24/7 is more than sex. It is learning about O/one another and growing. He spent nearly every free minute on His computer chatting with s/sl and left her sitting and watching a tv with 5 or 6 channels. she cooked and cleaned, laundry and worked! Then i met a Man here that was very much the same way hooked on something (webcams,  nasty download clips, etc.) we both ended it. we wanted reat time not fantasy or a game.
As for you spending all of your money on Him? i do not believe that is a good idea. you are busting your bum to get work and make a better life while He just appears to have a different goal. Now the sharing and combinig of incomes? That is a much different story. Doing what it takes to serve your Master may mean working 40 hours a week- He probably is as well or if between careers -seeking new employment. It is together Y/you build a future other than that you may just be income property. It may help you to write down you hopes, dreams and goals for the next 5 years then ask Him His. And always remember sugar certain things are final, death. quick claim deeds and pink slips. Take your time, ask question, choose wisely was the advice Mentor gave me.




Littlepita -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 7:47:44 AM)

Dump him. I was married to a game addict for 18 years and it won't get better. He did manage to get his ass to work everyday but that was about it. Getting him to do anything else like mow the lawn or sit and talk to me just didn't happen.




Theslavetrainer -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 8:49:57 AM)

If you're in a relationship and have been for three months, why is it that your profile is setup as if your searching? Hmm, seems neither of you have taken this relationship very seriously. Now you're coming down on him because he's lost in a game? You don't have a job, bills are piling up and your love life sucks. Welcome to the world of adulthood!! I say you get out of the relationship and get your own shit straight before you expect him to. Then start looking for this "fantasy" relationship you have listed in your profile.




Evanesce -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 10:00:12 AM)

quote:

LOL. I am dead serious. I just really care about him, but I'm starting to think that just isn't enough. And yes he really did turn back to the game with me in his lap foe all intensive puposes naked and in the mood in the middle of the day with the whole afternoon free. I guess I feel partially at fault because I'm the one that showed him the game in the first place.


He's 30 years old.  He still lives with Mommy and Daddy.  AND he ignores your advances in favor of a video game?  Are you sure he's not 12?  Because in terms of maturity, that's about where the guy's at. 
 
You will never come first.  If you can live with that, more power to you.  But I made the mistake of getting involved with someone in his early 30's who still lived in Mommy's house, and it was not pretty.  Hope you're prepared to play "Mommy" to him and support his ass for the rest of your life, because that's what you've got to look forward to if you keep this guy.




tygereyes2006 -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 10:35:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Theslavetrainer

If you're in a relationship and have been for three months, why is it that your profile is setup as if your searching? Hmm, seems neither of you have taken this relationship very seriously. Now you're coming down on him because he's lost in a game? You don't have a job, bills are piling up and your love life sucks. Welcome to the world of adulthood!! I say you get out of the relationship and get your own shit straight before you expect him to. Then start looking for this "fantasy" relationship you have listed in your profile.


Actually, I'm just putting out there that I want something long term and hopefully permanent. I only put up actively seeking a signifigant other 3 days ago before that is said friends open since he and I got together, but I see it coming to an end soon and you can't get what you are looking for in life unless you put yourself out there. And for your information My shit is straight. The only thing I have not going for me is no job, but I do get unemployment and my bills are ALL paid and up to date.
As for this "fanasy" as you call it ........ I don't think I'm asking to much, I know plenty of subs/slave who are married to thier Doms or have been together for many many years. And unless you knew them really well and they let you in on their "secret" you'd think they were your everyday happily married vanilla couples, with there own jobs and lives, but the subs ALWAYS answer to thier Doms. So Smartass you may want to understand the whole story before you go slinging accusations around.




sleazybutterfly -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 10:40:29 AM)

quote:

Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a pe


I swear when I saw this post.. I thought the question was going to  be: "Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a penis?"
 
I was just going to say.. I didn't think so, but I do remember my girlfriend being a little ticked at Mr.Blue my dildo once in a while.  Maybe this was why. hmmm...
 
Nevermind though, since it actually has nothing to do with the OP...




Theslavetrainer -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 3:35:56 PM)

Maybe Estring is right and you are just a dumbass. After all, you're still in this "relationship" with this guy and you can't seem to read past what you think is a discouraging remark to see what is really in a post. Oh well, so much for help out the worthless.




enigmabrat -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 3:57:41 PM)

The slavetrainer that was totaly uncalled for she came her because she has a problem here and her heart is involved when the heart is involved it isnt so cut and dry so there is no reason to call her a dumb ass ..




enigmabrat -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 4:00:52 PM)

Oh and the salvetrainer her profile has nothing fantasy like or unrealistic.. you know comeing to these threads to put people down is uncool and honestly makes you look like a petty child not a Domanent!!!! grow up and treat people with a little respect




Theslavetrainer -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 4:18:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

The slavetrainer that was totaly uncalled for she came her because she has a problem here and her heart is involved when the heart is involved it isnt so cut and dry so there is no reason to call her a dumb ass ..
I didn't call her a dumbass, I merely said that maybe Estring was correct in that she may be one. Try reading the post that you're responding to, instead of just reacting to it.




Theslavetrainer -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 4:21:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

Oh and the salvetrainer her profile has nothing fantasy like or unrealistic.. you know comeing to these threads to put people down is uncool and honestly makes you look like a petty child not a Domanent!!!! grow up and treat people with a little respect
Hmm, the pot talking to the kettle. You first, sweetheart. And while you're at it, use the god-damn spell check. There's a reason why it's there so quit being lazy.




enigmabrat -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 4:39:15 PM)

Im, not beeing lazy my PC doesnt inable the spell check function... and no i dont come to these threads to put people down so there for there was no hipocaracy in my statement and no you deffinetly called her a dumb ass like people cant tell by you highlighting the are in the sentence point is you came here and instead of helping you felt the need to be nasty and call names and there is NO need for the im defending the girl she is haveing a hard time and doesnt need your crap ontop of it




tygereyes2006 -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 4:55:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Theslavetrainer

Maybe Estring is right and you are just a dumbass. After all, you're still in this "relationship" with this guy and you can't seem to read past what you think is a discouraging remark to see what is really in a post. Oh well, so much for help out the worthless.


First off, I am no dumbass.  Second of all if it wasn't a "discouraging remark" then would you like to elaborate and explain how it was not? Or enlighten us as to what was "really" in the post? And lastly you are in no place to judge my worth cause that is YOU being the pot calling the kettle black. And while enigmabrat may not be the best speller she does have a couple of  points. One nothing is cut and dry when the heart or feelings are involved, and two AGREEING with Estring (and by saying maybe he is right and the putting emphasis on "are" means you basically are agreeing with him, at least to the general public) is the same thing as calling me a dumbass. So the next time you want to open your yap and start talking like an ignorant bastard you may want to take a long hard look at the way you you say things to people.




Theslavetrainer -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 5:02:50 PM)

I wasn't talking about you coming here to put people down. Try thinking alittle harder then that.

I gave what I think is helpful advise. Just because you're too blinded in your search for a fight to see it, doesn't mean it isn't there.

And, just so you know, if she isn't in the relationship that she's looking for, it's a fantasy. That doesn't mean it won't come true. It just means it isn't a reality yet.




Emperor1956 -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 5:09:05 PM)

tygereyes, you got some pretty good, pretty clear advice.  The one thing that you keep saying that bothers Me is "I feel responsible because I introduced him to this..."  You are not responsible at all.  I suspect he has an addictive personality (coupled with laziness and immaturity) and SOMETHING would have hooked him other than you.  It happens with games, gambling, porn, sex...all the "addiction" items that we talk about that don't have a physical addictive component*.  You are the victim, not the cause, miss.

And estring and slavetrainer:  Grow up.  Both of you supposedly are mature enough to not belabor a badly said statement and could simply just apologize and drop it. 

E.

___________________
*Yes, I know about the research that gambling addiction might in fact have a physical component.  But I'm not going to talk models of addiction, I'm trying to stick to the intent of the post.

E.




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