RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (Full Version)

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[Poll]

Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do?


Yes, Paying more attention to a game to that extent is cheating.
  13% (10)
No, Its not cheating.
  24% (18)
Dump him.
  39% (29)
Keep him.
  0% (0)
Other ( Please reply to the thread if you have other advice.
  2% (2)
Need more info.
  20% (15)


Total Votes : 74
(last vote on : 2/4/2008 3:03:18 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )


Message


enigmabrat -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 5:11:12 PM)

Ok Im not looking for a fight just defending someone.. secent the way you worded it was inflamitory nasty and was looking to put her down if you wanted to say that there were nicer ways to go about it




Theslavetrainer -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 5:12:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tygereyes2006

First off, I am no dumbass.  Second of all if it wasn't a "discouraging remark" then would you like to elaborate and explain how it was not? Or enlighten us as to what was "really" in the post? And lastly you are in no place to judge my worth cause that is YOU being the pot calling the kettle black. And while enigmabrat may not be the best speller she does have a couple of  points. One nothing is cut and dry when the heart or feelings are involved, and two AGREEING with Estring (and by saying maybe he is right and the putting emphasis on "are" means you basically are agreeing with him, at least to the general public) is the same thing as calling me a dumbass. So the next time you want to open your yap and start talking like an ignorant bastard you may want to take a long hard look at the way you you say things to people.
Like I said, get your shit straight before trying to have a relationship. That means:
  1. Determine if your going to have a relationship with this guy or not. To post a profile saying your looking without ending the last speaks volumes about you.
  2. Get a job before you put up a thread noting that your boyfriend doesn't have one or a profile looking for someone else. You complain that it's costing you too much to go see him, do you think a new beau should be coming to see you all the time? pffft!!

As I stated, you choose not to read what in the post beyond what you want to see is there.




enigmabrat -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 5:13:50 PM)

heh you can only read what is written!




tygereyes2006 -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 5:27:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

tygereyes, you got some pretty good, pretty clear advice.  The one thing that you keep saying that bothers Me is "I feel responsible because I introduced him to this..."  You are not responsible at all.  I suspect he has an addictive personality (coupled with laziness and immaturity) and SOMETHING would have hooked him other than you.  It happens with games, gambling, porn, sex...all the "addiction" items that we talk about that don't have a physical addictive component*.  You are the victim, not the cause, miss.

And estring and slavetrainer:  Grow up.  Both of you supposedly are mature enough to not belabor a badly said statement and could simply just apologize and drop it. 

E.

___________________
*Yes, I know about the research that gambling addiction might in fact have a physical component.  But I'm not going to talk models of addiction, I'm trying to stick to the intent of the post.

E.


Thank you E. and you are all right he's treating me like crap and I need to address that to him and tell him untill he can get his act together I need to stay away from him cause he's making me miserable. Easier said than done I know, but hopefully things will work out for the better.




marieToo -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/6/2006 5:34:24 PM)

Reply to OP: 

I dont think its cheating to be "addicted" to a computer/video game, or a message board, for that matter.  It could be construed, I suppose, as a betrayal of sorts, But I personally wouldnt place it in the same catagory as cheating. 
I would tell him how you think this is coming between you and see what comes back.  Does he look like he cares?  Does he want to discuss possible solutions?
It sounds to me, and I could be wrong, but I get the feeling that you have a much larger problem than his 'addiction' to a game.  He sounds unmotivated and unaware, in general, which to me, would be a much bigger problem, one that I personally couldnt tolerate. Best of luck.




Sasy -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/8/2006 10:32:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Theslavetrainer

Maybe Estring is right and you are just a dumbass. After all, you're still in this "relationship" with this guy and you can't seem to read past what you think is a discouraging remark to see what is really in a post. Oh well, so much for help out the worthless.


Never ceases to  amaze me how those who wish to  be considered Dominant  have so little control of thier tongue ... in this case their fingers and result to  NAME calling as tho a five year old.....  And they want control of a human being ?




SirKenin -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/8/2006 10:39:52 PM)

Unless you are desperate, go find someone else.  That is all there is to it.  It is not like you are married to him or something.




Arpig -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/8/2006 11:01:44 PM)

Ummmm....I might suggest not introducing your next man/dom to that game......




Readysub -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (6/11/2007 2:20:14 PM)

"He doesn't need to do anything. He is getting what he wants right now. Not his problem. "
It will be though - as it is not sustainable when this conversation enlightens her that she isn't going to change him cos he's happy. 
Games are fun, but not sustainable, life has more to offer, and life will overcome game.




earthycouple -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (6/11/2007 2:39:30 PM)

Dump him.




lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (6/13/2007 2:57:49 PM)

wondering how many of the ones that voted dump him are females probly all




MsStryker -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/11/2007 4:20:33 AM)

Dump him!




MadameMarque -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/11/2007 4:49:01 AM)

Where are *your* standards?  Are you making this up? 
 
You want to miss an opportunity to find and be with someone exciting, who wants a real life, who's crazy about you, so you can be with a person who acts this way and isn't even in town?  He doesn't miss you enough to seek you out, he's not excited enough about being with you, for it to easily be the thing he can't resist doing (rather than play a game, or anything else).  Have you ever seen how someone acts, when they are truly taken with someone?  When they feel that connection?  Not like this you're describing.
 
If you have some strong feelings for him, you'll probably follow those.  I suspect we can't really choose our feelings about those who strongly draw us or whom we love.  We can only choose what to do about it.
 
But I doubt you have very strong feelings for him, either, when you're putting it to a vote.  And according to what you say, he's not even good for an arousing friend with benefits -arrangement.
 
Continue with him, if you like.  Or raise your standards for yourself.


"I've gotta feel it, deeply, deeply, now"
 
- from Deeply, by bôa, Lyrics by Jasmine Rodgers




came4U -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/11/2007 4:57:46 AM)

Men/Women/people complain they can never find someone and then they do...

then a game comes along? What is he a 4yr old?

If he is addicted to a 'thing' be it booze, drugs, a game, slurpees then I suggest the book:

'He's just not that into you'

Get it, read it, smack him with it and run.  He won't notice, he is too busy playing his game.




BlindDescent -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/11/2007 5:28:22 AM)

When my sibs and I were in preteens; my dad got so pissed at us being glued to the tv when work needed to be done. One day he had enough and cut the cord off the tv...Dad, they were only cartoons!!!  Deparate measures are needed in desparate times. Something needs to be cut off. 

On the other hand, look at him from a primitive perspective. If he has no potentcy in real life (income, job, big boy identity, influence, in other words he has scant social standing to promote) then he has found a world where he can be a big shit with potency. Hmmm that sounds a lot like this realm that some fanto-doms find here....no potency in real life, can pretend to be big shots here with psuedo power riding inflated ego.

Anyway you look at dynamics that have distractions/addiction to other activities; you now have become reduced to being a thing which has been reassigned a different place in the hierarchy of his needs. Emotional attachments and personal anguish usually have no bearing once attaining thing status/role.  The question remains, as so many have said; how long will you be embracing this newly assigned position/role/place in his organizational chart?  I'd worry that he is already involved in homoerotic relationships with those other potent digital men who carry big digital swords and act beyond ways that real life society would expect. Thats the cheating part. The relationship with others that superceeds you.




came4U -> RE: Is it possible to cheat on your partner with something other than a person? What should I do? (8/11/2007 5:59:36 AM)

quote:

If he has no potentcy in real life (income, job, big boy identity, influence, in other words he has scant social standing to promote) then he has found a world where he can be a big shit with potency.


[sm=applause.gif]       you must have known the same men I have HAHAH.




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