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RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 11:48:02 AM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		FastReply because it is directed to several folks:

julia, Tamer, Raven:  Your normally sensible sensibilities about this type of stuff must have taken flight in some sort of collective departure for summer vacation.  The OP wrote comments in his personal journal.  He added the submissive in question to his own personal "admired" list.  You can argue with his ideas, you can quibble with his tactics (I for one think personal journals should stay personal), heck, you can even assault his underlying motives as Tamer did, BUT you cannot say "You have no right to..."   Of course he has that right.  Its his journal, his list.  Just like you have the right to delete or skip a post you don't like.

I'm not overly fond of the "look what I got in the mail" sort of post.  It seems to Me that private things stay private, even if they are incredibly foolish.  Nonetheless, I think that the collective assault on this guy is not warranted.

And Tamer, I do not believe you are so insecure in your Dominance that you'd really worry about that snake in the grass emailing your property and dissuading him/her from compliance.  Are you?

Frankly I think the email the OP received was a classic example of a serious disease that many Dominants (including Me, at times) suffer from:   "I COMMAND THEE" itis, where we believe we can "make it so" by saying "Make it so".   As fun as that is in the Dungeon (or on the bridge of a starship), in fact, ya know what?  Your power to affect the universe (and My power) is very, very limited.  If you doubt this, Oh Great and Mighty Dominant One, raise a Rottweiller....or a teenager.

E.

< Message edited by Emperor1956 -- 8/8/2006 11:49:02 AM >

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to DedicatedDom40)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 11:56:44 AM   
Tamerofwild1s


Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline 		I am in no way insecure in my Dominance . this is very true . but why should I allow my slave to listen to the off path rantings or wisdom of someone who might not think the same as me .... and I have seen more then one time where a "Dom" has sent an e-mail telling my slave she should not allow me to do something like that . it's unhealthy ... he started out as an admirer too.
 
if your gonna put something into a public forum it stops being your personal journal. the OP put his issues out there for us to comment on so he got comments.
 
just my opinion

< Message edited by Tamerofwild1s -- 8/8/2006 11:57:32 AM >

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 12:02:43 PM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

Your power to affect the universe (and My power) is very, very limited.  If you doubt this, Oh Great and Mighty Dominant One, raise a Rottweiller....or a teenager.

E.

 
i'd go for the Rottie any day! LOL Then again, i am in love with my kids! *grinz

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 12:07:20 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eroticangel

i have to agree with juliaoceania  why would you put someone taken on your favorite list??  especially when she says she is not looking????


My profile clearly states my unavailabilaty status.. Does it keep ME off of other's admired list?  Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Do I mind it... NOooooooooooooooooooooooooo LOL

No one can be "taken" if they aren't already looking.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to eroticangel)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 12:17:15 PM   
aleshaDreams


Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		All points bulletin and in respect for others in the lifestyle, spare yourself the grief and do not add a submissive and/or slave that is spoken for, owned, or stating that they are not looking in your list of admired, or whatever unless you have consent from their owner to do such or their profile indicates that they accept such contact.

This topic can be argued till everyone is blue in the face, but the fact of the matter is there is a reason for the 'collar' and the acceptance of such by a sub / slave or that they are in consideration, etc.  Respect that, and don't quibble cause you have been put rightfully in your place.

hummm and we wonder were all the courtesy, and honour etc has gone...... yeah okay

(in reply to DedicatedDom40)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 12:17:48 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		You think it is ok to broadcast the sub's name, whom I have read on this forum, and humiliate her when she did NOTHING WRONG but have an over protective dom? Perhaps I am taking leave of my senses, but I highly doubt anyone would want their submissive humiliated because they emailed someone. He didn't broadcast the nic of the dom, but the nic of the sub, and it was scrubbed. His fake concern for her overwhelm me.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 12:28:27 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		I think it's silly to think you need permission from a dom to put someone on your admirers list. It's a online list. big deal.


now others may see the need but I sure don't. I don't even pay attention to my admire's and who added me to hot list lists.

quote:

ORIGINAL: purelea2003

To be admiring as in the admirers list and to be actively wooing are two different things. But as I sit here and think about it, I know I don't like strangers approaching or putting their hands on anything belonging to Me. If the Dominant is known - I think it's only courteous to first approach Him/Her and ask permission to admire or speak with the submissive - don't you?

(in reply to purelea2003)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 12:32:07 PM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline 		If ya don't want your slave exposed to other's thoughts, or worry that said slave will waiver from your own teachings, or will be weak enough, or lack the wisdom, to be so quickly deceived to blindly follow another, and perhaps be led away by the nose ring, than put your slave in a box and wrap it up tight, safe and tucked away from the public.  Sheesh!

(in reply to aleshaDreams)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 12:35:51 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Raiken, I have to agree.  It's sad to see insecure doms who won't allow their subs to talk to other people or even worse, won't allow their subs to make their own decisions.  I would find that stifling, but I think some may need/desire that level of oversight.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to raiken)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 12:40:12 PM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline 		Daddy knows that I get emails on this site even though I say I'm not looking. He is always well aware that I have conversations with others and post on this board. He allows me to respond to those emails in any way that I wish as long as I don't represent him in a negative manner. Basically what it all comes down to is at the end of the day did I obey? Did I do what he asked without arguing with him or telling him it was wrong? Do I still seek to serve and please only him? If the answer to all those is yes well then we are good. We haven't reached a place where the answer to any of those questions is soo no I don't know what the other side holds, but if someone was bothering me or constantly badgering me or I felt uncomfortable with a situation then he would step in and either issue orders or handle the manner in a way he saw fit. But he thinks it's an honor that people have me on their admirers list and that I belong to him.

_____________________________

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book - Unknown

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 12:40:43 PM   
aleshaDreams


Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		FelinePersuasion, I personally find that Dominants that approach me after I stated on my profile I was in consideration was totally disrespectful, and in essense the only damn thing they seem concerned about is what 'willy' is doing.  Hell I even was proposed by a Dominant last week with a lesbian encounter if I so chose to have her he would set it up for me.  Good god do these people have no respect?  Obviously not.  And that was last week not 4 years ago ...........  Being online does not mean having free reign to be an idiot, perhaps to prove one is - yes.

Is there no valour or code of conduct out there.  Seems to me it is a common complaint across many boards these days.  Where have all the real Dominants gone?  Hummmmm

< Message edited by aleshaDreams -- 8/8/2006 12:51:48 PM >

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 1:18:14 PM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Juliaoceania said:  You think it is ok to broadcast the sub's name, whom I have read on this forum, and humiliate her when she did NOTHING WRONG but have an over protective dom? Perhaps I am taking leave of my senses, but I highly doubt anyone would want their submissive humiliated because they emailed someone. He didn't broadcast the nic of the dom, but the nic of the sub, and it was scrubbed. His fake concern for her overwhelm me.


Julia: When I read the post, the sub's name was not there.  And I think I made it clear in my first post that I believe that private things should stay private, so, no I do not approve.  But that isn't the issue.  You said from the start you objected to what the OP wrote in his journal.  My point to you is that you do not control his journal and carping about what he wrote makes no sense. 

And while I don't approve of the posting of private information in public, if you are upset over the OP's "outing" of the submissive, don't you think the submissive's Dominant was also in error when he emailed the OP with his "warning"?  The Dom "opened the door" (as we say in the courtroom) by publishing an email that linked him to his sub.  Personally, I don't see why people keep their relationships secret if they have nothing to hide.  But if this relationship was intended to be a secret, then the Dom surely should not have sent that email warning the OP off of his property.  Indeed, several people on CollarMe maintain relatively clandestine real life relationships with others, and these people go absolutely ballistic when thru inadvertence or no malice, the relationship is revealed. 

How does it go?  "Two may keep a secret, if one of them is dead."?

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 1:24:02 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		There is a big difference in communicating with one's own sub/slave and telling her what or what not to do and trusting her to obey, and feeling the need to go into her Admirer's list and email people who have not even made contact with her and tell them to back off, announcing it loudly through a virtual bullhorn.

The former shows confidence, maturity and trust, the latter shows extreme insecurity and puffed up self-importance.  I can almost picture the big floating head, bellowing "I AM DOM, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL!!!!"

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to aleshaDreams)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 1:25:20 PM   
TheOriginalBitch


Posts: 35
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline 		It shows the insecurity of the Owner.

Mistress
"The Original Bitch"

(in reply to DedicatedDom40)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 1:26:09 PM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aleshaDreams

FelinePersuasion, I personally find that Dominants that approach me after I stated on my profile I was in consideration was totally disrespectful, and in essense the only damn thing they seem concerned about is what 'willy' is doing.  Hell I even was proposed by a Dominant last week with a lesbian encounter if I so chose to have her he would set it up for me.  Good god do these people have no respect?  Obviously not.  And that was last week not 4 years ago ...........  Being online does not mean having free reign to be an idiot, perhaps to prove one is - yes.

Is there no valour or code of conduct out there.  Seems to me it is a common complaint across many boards these days.  Where have all the real Dominants gone?  Hummmmm

 
Now ya know that those type of folks are always lurking about...especially after being on here for a while.  AND, ya know there is not much that can be done as to what type of responses a profile will attract.  We DO have a delete key though, but curiosity always seem to get the better of us, perhaps some folks may even WELCOME the drama or something to complain about?  Ah, the vices of human nature...
 
We each are responsible for our own code of valor, honor and personal ethos, and not for anyone else's.  Sure we may have opinions as to how we would like, or believe other's should behave, react, or respond, but lets be real.  If ya want to make a difference, it begins from within, and the example put out there by living one's life.  If we are going to roam about the country and put ourselves out there, then we are exposed to anything and everything that comes along, and we would do well to learn to expect it, and roll with it, for there is no getting round it.  That is the world we live in, like it or not.  Like the saying goes, if ya can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen.

(in reply to aleshaDreams)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 1:40:11 PM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline 		hahaha.  What a complete joke.  And you wonder why I do not look for people on the internet, or why I do not want people on any dating site looking for Me... It is because they have their heads up their asses and they have a few screws loose.

If a relationship is worth a pot to piss in, you do not need to jealously protect it.  That kind of went out with the Stone Age.  If you are worth more than a dime bag of pot chances are good the partner will want to stay with you.  No amount of you acting like a complete jackass is going to change that one way or the other.

And since when is ANYONE YOUR PROPERTY for you to act like an idiot?  No matter what kind of relationship dynamic you have, every person is a unique entity with a gift called free will.  They have the option of walking away from your sorry ass any time they choose, and never forget it.  You can try and prove Me wrong in Court, but good luck.  If you are concerned about them walking away on you, try treating them better and maybe they will want to stay.  Badgering others for looking at your partner the wrong way only makes you look like a complete idiot and does not solve anything.

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 1:42:47 PM   
eroticangel


Posts: 272
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline 		R- E-S-P-E-C-T     that is what it is all about!!!!

(in reply to SirKenin)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 1:55:20 PM   
DanielsHeart


Posts: 39
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DedicatedDom40

...common sense among the Dominants within the lifestyle.  It is sorely missing. 
 
I got this little gem in my email the other day, simply the result of clicking a little checkbox while surfing across a few profiles
 
> Be forewarned!!! This is xxxxxxx, xxxxxxxx's Dom.
> She is owned and collared. I am sending this as you
> are on her admirers list...


Wow.  What a crime.
 
Now, with apologies to the subfem, whom I never had a conversation with, and who is totally unaware of my "checkbox tresspassing incident", and who probably will be accused by her partner of transgressions she is innocent of, I firmly believe this has got to be the dumbest communication I have ever received from an adult.
 
 
From my own Jounral entry from early February of this year:
 
"Instituting communication restrictions sorta runs counter to the concept of NATIVE control in that particular situation, doesn't it? If the Dom/me is truly in control, then why would they ever have to worry about the sub/slave wandering away as a result of answering emails or chats with other Doms/mes?  The ability of a submissive or slave to flourish in their role is contingent upon their ability to grow and interact with others, even other dominant individuals.

No interaction = no growth.

No growth = no healthy D/s relationship."


Sounds to me like someone who is supposed to exhibit Dominance is acting a bit insecure, and is attempting to shore up a faltering situation by badgering every innocent party in sight.
 
There are no visionaries or elderstatesmen in this lifestyle anymore.  Just 40-somethings going on 12.
 
[Mod Note:  names removed from post]


i have to feel bad for her, she seems to have a very insecure Owner...Or maybe that is the problem, he does not feel he owns her?

Daniel's heart

_____________________________

His heart for His pleasure always

(in reply to DedicatedDom40)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 2:10:08 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

quote:

Juliaoceania said:  You think it is ok to broadcast the sub's name, whom I have read on this forum, and humiliate her when she did NOTHING WRONG but have an over protective dom? Perhaps I am taking leave of my senses, but I highly doubt anyone would want their submissive humiliated because they emailed someone. He didn't broadcast the nic of the dom, but the nic of the sub, and it was scrubbed. His fake concern for her overwhelm me.


Julia: When I read the post, the sub's name was not there.  And I think I made it clear in my first post that I believe that private things should stay private, so, no I do not approve.  But that isn't the issue.  You said from the start you objected to what the OP wrote in his journal.  My point to you is that you do not control his journal and carping about what he wrote makes no sense. 

And while I don't approve of the posting of private information in public, if you are upset over the OP's "outing" of the submissive, don't you think the submissive's Dominant was also in error when he emailed the OP with his "warning"?  The Dom "opened the door" (as we say in the courtroom) by publishing an email that linked him to his sub.  Personally, I don't see why people keep their relationships secret if they have nothing to hide.  But if this relationship was intended to be a secret, then the Dom surely should not have sent that email warning the OP off of his property.  Indeed, several people on CollarMe maintain relatively clandestine real life relationships with others, and these people go absolutely ballistic when thru inadvertence or no malice, the relationship is revealed. 

How does it go?  "Two may keep a secret, if one of them is dead."?

E.


He posted his journal as a part of the OP and I responded to the entire opening post, not just the part about the dom that emailed him. He judges all doms that do not want him to talk about the lifestyle with other dominants. This is a personal preference of the dominant and is of no concern of this guy. I found every part of his post objectionable because I saw the original before it was scrubbed with the name of the sub.

If he had mentioned generalities instead of a specific instance and not cut and pasted the emails with the sub's name I wouldn't care at all that people thought this dom's behavior was out of line. The OP was out of line in my opinion for broadcasting the name of someone that took no part in this little tirade and pissing contest on either side of it. The fact that she is owned by a dom does not give someone license to use her as a way to beat her dom over the head on a forum and call him out... worse than tacky in my eyes.

The latter part of his post, which included his journal entry that he posted within his OP shows another part of his character in trying to tell other owners how they should treat their property. Somehow I do not  think anyone should care what he thinks about this. I certainly don't, and if my Daddy told me not to answer any email from a dominant that posts here I wouldn't... He hasn't instructed me not to do so, but if he did I would obey and I would find the suggestion that he was insecure because of his order to be highly offensive to my dynamic with him... it really is no one's business.

I have to wonder what the motivation for this thread was, because it appears to be vindictive at the very least. He shows a pattern within his journal of not respecting the authority of other dominants over their property. I do not ridicule people from the other side, as I said earlier. I certainly wouldn't start a thread to ridicule someone that I had inadvertently offended, I would regret the offense. I certainly wouldn't broadcast the name of a wholly and completely innocent party in a forum she enjoys to post in.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... - 8/8/2006 2:23:23 PM   
KennelDeSade2


Posts: 210
Joined: 9/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: purelea2003

To be admiring as in the admirers list and to be actively wooing are two different things. But as I sit here and think about it, I know I don't like strangers approaching or putting their hands on anything belonging to Me. If the Dominant is known - I think it's only courteous to first approach Him/Her and ask permission to admire or speak with the submissive - don't you?


In a word.  No.

I put many on my "favorites" list not because they are my favorite, because I like them, because I covet them, or because I want to contact them, but because there is something in their profile I want to either review at a later date, or in some cases something so completely stupid that I want a reminder to point out to a friend.
Oh yeah, then there are the ones I like as well.  But inclusion or exclusion on the list means nothing of any weight in real terms.

Of course, I encourage anybody that I'm talking with to talk with other tops they encounter.  After all, given the freakshow that makes up average, I don't worry about them doing anything but making me look good.   lol


_____________________________

Rules? Just one: I say, she does.
Everything else, is just details.

(in reply to purelea2003)
Profile   Post #: 40
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