RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (Full Version)

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MistressSassy66 -> RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (8/8/2006 2:33:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong


Strikes me as a cyber "hiking of the leg" to mark his territory.





LMFAO....I was thinking along those lines....



Mercnbeth -> RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (8/8/2006 2:36:57 PM)

Damn! I guess I have it all wrong. I'm flattered when someone contacts either of us; whether it's to ask us a question or meet us. I'm even flattered when they solicit beth. I just wonder if they can read when they ask her to be their Domme, but we still maintain 100% response.

Same on the 'favorites' aspect. People drop off when it gets to 20 but we've acknowledged every notification. We get curious when someone adds us cold, without a corresponding "hi-how are you?" And we find it really weird when we email them, after noticing a new name on the favorite list, that they don't respond or all of a sudden remove their name from the list.

Is it wrong not to think it's disrespectful?



raiken -> RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (8/8/2006 2:45:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

Damn! I guess I have it all wrong. I'm flattered when someone contacts either of us; whether it's to ask us a question or meet us. I'm even flattered when they solicit beth. I just wonder if they can read when they ask her to be their Domme, but we still maintain 100% response.

Same on the 'favorites' aspect. People drop off when it gets to 20 but we've acknowledged every notification. We get curious when someone adds us cold, without a corresponding "hi-how are you?" And we find it really weird when we email them, after noticing a new name on the favorite list, that they don't respond or all of a sudden remove their name from the list.

Is it wrong not to think it's disrespectful?

 
 i have learned that not one feeling is a wrong feeling, but rather it is the choices we make based upon those feelings that may not always be the best.  i don't always get responses, so to me, it is like that IS the answer in and of itself.  When i was first coming online, i used to take it all personal and as total rejection. Now i have learned to look at sites like these as being about the business at hand and nothing more, until i meet others in real time, face to face.  The "no response" has come to be in fact a valid answer, but that is just me, i take things lightly for that is just the way of this world online, and i no longer let it bother me in the slightest, for what, ya know?  *smile



Sinergy -> RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (8/8/2006 7:30:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: raiken

If ya don't want your slave exposed to other's thoughts, or worry that said slave will waiver from your own teachings, or will be weak enough, or lack the wisdom, to be so quickly deceived to blindly follow another, and perhaps be led away by the nose ring, than put your slave in a box and wrap it up tight, safe and tucked away from the public.  Sheesh!


I have stated this over and over and over and over again.

Why exactly is it my job to defeat Al Qaeda, solve global warming, save the Gay Whales For Jesus, etc., etc., ad nauseum, all the while my submissive is happily in her box masturbating and watching Ricki Lake?

Which one is Dominant in this picture?

On a more on-topic note, I personally find the actions of two of them (Both self-described Dominants) to be a bit bizarre.

If the Dominant of the submissive doesnt want her to be put on people's admire list, why does he allow her a profile on a public web site?

Why is it my job to read the mind of people I dont even know, when I may have added somebody to my admire list because I may want to refer back to a quote or something in the profile which struck my eye?

The one who posted the name of the submissive and the Dominant, journal entry notwithstanding, seems to display a complete lack of taste, respect, and decorum.  Strikes me as odd that somebody would want to be with him, but there really is no accounting for taste. Additionally, why did the OP decide he had the right to include me non-consensually in his peurile nonsense?

I wonder if the two "Dominants" (name poster, peurile nitwit who doesnt want his submissive admired) the thread are about got out of junior high early today and decided to use Mommy's or Daddy's computer to start trouble.  Puberty can be a trying period in anybody's life.

Just me, could be wrong, etc.

Sinergy



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (8/8/2006 7:56:14 PM)

I have to agree with Sinergy..IMO they both are behaving in less than an admirable way.....time for them both to get out of the sandbox and take a nap...Tempting



Submotive -> RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (8/8/2006 9:13:44 PM)

quote:

Sounds to me like someone who is supposed to exhibit Dominance is acting a bit insecure, and is attempting to shore up a faltering situation by badgering every innocent party in sight.

hmmm - admiration oftentimes is a form of desire. Excuse me but you appear terribly upset over "nothing". Why bring this incident to the boards? Why not just discuss it with the Dom in question?
[sm=flowers.gif]



DedicatedDom40 -> RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (8/8/2006 9:44:14 PM)

My involvement in this lifestyle is reality-based, and is more aligned with Taken-in-Hand principles rather than M/s. 

Accordingly, the concept of “ownership” of another person in a bdsm context can never be real. 

While I respect the rights of others in this lifestyle to have fundamental differences in beliefs, including fantasy-based beliefs, in my book if the end result (D/s relationship) is not grounded in reality, then your contribution to the debate really cannot rise above the trivial level.   I truly don’t expect to be in agreement with those whose D/s or M/s relationships are based on highly-fantasized concepts, so the responses from those ownership-centric Dom’s who have already slammed their dicks on the table so far was… well… a predictable response.

From reading the replies, most of the negative reaction to my original post seems to come from those who are active on the “fantasy side” of the belief spectrum, while the positive reaction tends to come from those who are more grounded on the reality side. The funny part is how the replies from the secure Doms who report being almost tickled silly by the attention paid to their subs even SOUND more confident via the replies they write, while those who have the biggest hangup about “not respecting property boundaries” sound the most unsure of their footing, emotionally speaking.

This whole thing is nothing more than the fantasy side clashing with the reality side (or more specifically, the fantasy side overreaching and demanding compliance to some self-created protocol and the reality side putting an abrupt stop to it).  It is laughable to expect reality people to “step into someone’s fantasy” to debate a randomly created contact/no contact protocol.  Despite what some think, people who sit on the reality side are not here to meet the expectations of protocol, decorum, or respect that is derived from rituals on the fantasy side.  I know, that sounds harsh.  The people on the fantasy side may try to extract their definition of compliance and respect towards their arbitrary ‘rules’, but I think they pursue it purely in an attempt to somehow legitimize or normalize their fantasies (i.e. the more they demand respect for the concept of ownership of human property, the more real the concept becomes to them, regardless of society's views).

As to including the sub’s name, the original text was cut-n-paste from what the Dom wrote.  I pondered that for a bit before hitting the send key, but I figured if the moderators had a problem with it, they could fix it.  The ball was in their court, and they acted on it.  End of story.  For those who continue to beat that drum, I consider the issue to be a red herring.




DixieBellle -> RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (8/8/2006 9:52:55 PM)

I will never understand the need for these so called Dominants to check all their subs mail and know any and everyone they come in contact with. Indeed, why have a profile on this site when you cannot speak to anyone. It makes no sense to me.



FelinePersuasion -> RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (8/9/2006 1:35:22 AM)

Yup doms who bother and approach girls who belong to someone else need to be whacked and told to behave. most of them do not have honor no.

However admire'er lists are a little box you check and then they're added to a list of profiles you liked.  There's no contacting the person involved to add them to a favorits list.  it's like on alt I am listed on people's hot list. It just means they liked me or my picture so much to want to book mark the profile, not that I was contacted or bothered or spoke to. Infact I quite accidently hit add to list yesterday on a doms profile lol.

I think it is silly to have to ask permission to click that little box  book mark a profile. The person who's profile is book marked isn't contacted by checking the add to favorite box, their not harrased, to imply they are is incorrect.


Now if they were using user favorits to stalk or harrase they'd be in the wrong.



quote:

ORIGINAL: aleshaDreams

FelinePersuasion, I personally find that Dominants that approach me after I stated on my profile I was in consideration was totally disrespectful, and in essense the only damn thing they seem concerned about is what 'willy' is doing.  Hell I even was proposed by a Dominant last week with a lesbian encounter if I so chose to have her he would set it up for me.  Good god do these people have no respect?  Obviously not.  And that was last week not 4 years ago ...........  Being online does not mean having free reign to be an idiot, perhaps to prove one is - yes.

Is there no valour or code of conduct out there.  Seems to me it is a common complaint across many boards these days.  Where have all the real Dominants gone?  Hummmmm



obis -> RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (8/9/2006 1:40:11 AM)

I forsee peace in the Middle East if only we could get Collarme to change "favorites" to be "bookmarks" or "stuff I don't want to forget". That way people might understand others will put profiles there for reasons other than a desire to seduce that member at a future date.



enigmabrat -> RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (8/9/2006 2:03:12 AM)

I see stupid people



wandering4u -> RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (8/9/2006 2:44:13 AM)

Favorites - just another way of saying"hmmm interesting, I'll check later when I have more time"

Take a deep breath and move on.  It's a compliment!



Celeste43 -> RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (8/9/2006 6:02:33 AM)

Of course it is possible that he is being pro-active, that the sub has had stalkers before and he's attempting to prevent such an occurrence from happening again.

I'm restricted from answering male doms with anything other than a thanks but no thanks because of someone who kept sending me progressively weirder and weirder emails. The only thing that stopped him was The Man finally writing him a rather blunt cease and desist.



Mavis -> RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (8/9/2006 6:23:37 AM)

The excuse of tagging a profile to come back to later won't wash.. If you copy and paste the data, it won't be lost if the profile owner edits the text in an hour. Bookmarking it is no guarentee that quote you can't just write down will still be there in a day. To the OP..  if your neighbor was taking pics of your car in the driveway, wouldn't you be curious as to why?  It's not illegal, there is no expectation of privacy since the car is parked publicly, but it's still .. weird, and would leave most of us uneasy.  The same goes for stealing a glance of a nice looking woman at the mall, vs taking a picture of her to have at the house.  It's just not done.  There is no legitimate reason to bookmark a "taken" profile you don't have interraction with unless you're expecting a sudden change in her availability status and you want to keep tabs on that.  Fool Thyself, so at least someone is fooled.  



KatyLied -> RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (8/9/2006 6:36:06 AM)

quote:

I will never understand the need for these so called Dominants to check all their subs mail and know any and everyone they come in contact with.


I think for some it may be nothing more than a control kink.  There's really nothing wrong with that.



MissTlTTYMilk -> RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (8/9/2006 6:51:25 AM)

i dont always put profiles on my favorites list because i am interested in a positive way. On the contrary,  not always but sometimes the profile is strange, funny, dark, etc., and i save it for my amusement.  It is an option on here, and i do not view it as an invasion of privacy but as my right as member though no one has told me to take his or her name off.  i suggest using the block feature if one is so uncomfortable as to find a <gasp> admirer which is simply a bookmark.  i dont assume why a person may have bookmarked me, and i certainly do not presume to restrict an adult to use any CM options as it is an "adult" site. 



mistoferin -> RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (8/9/2006 7:48:29 AM)

Mavis, I have to disagree. I have put many profiles of people on my admirers list that I have never contacted and had no intention of contacting. Usually it is because there is something in there that I want to refer back to when I have more time...but not something that is important enough that I want to copy/paste it onto my own computer and take up space. It could be something as simple as a nice pic of a bike....not necessarily anything to do with the poster themself.

In response to something else brought up on this thread....I could not have any respect for or submit to a man that could not trust me or have faith in my abilities to make my own decisions regarding communications with other people. I hide nothing and anything I do would be available for him to see....but to limit my interactions would loudy and clearly scream of insecurity to me.



juliaoceania -> RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (8/9/2006 7:51:43 AM)

Funny, I feel real as I sit here typing on my Daddy's computer. I will have to ask him if he is make believe when he comes home for lunch[:D]

I wonder about someone that does not feel an ounce of remorse or conscious when publishing the name of an innocent party and just wants to humiliate her for no other reason than his domly pride was hurt in a pissing contest. As I mentioned earlier, I have seen this submissive post here on this board. I suppose it wouldn't matter to you that you may have embarassed her. It speaks volumes about who you are and your character that you do not give a rats ass and have no compassion for submissives. I hope any submissive that you contact via CM will take the time to read your posts on the forum (all they have to do is hit a button on your profile and all your posts will appear) and I hope they see this thread and judge for themselves who you are and whether they would want to involve themselves with someone that is so callous.

Just my thoughts...



mistoferin -> RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (8/9/2006 7:59:24 AM)

I didn't see the submissive's name...it was pulled before I saw the thread. I don't however, see where the "embarassment" would lie on her part. Unless of course she may be embarassed that if indeed the account is correct and that is the email the OP received, it is now up for public scrutiny that her Dom may be either a puffy chested moron or an insecure idiot, depending of course on the perspective of the reader.



IrishMist -> RE: All Points Bulletin - Be on the lookout for... (8/9/2006 8:06:05 AM)

I saw the name before they pulled it, and  I would take a guess that the young lady in question is in no way embarassed about having her name on here. More than likely, with what I know of her, she's pissing mad at her 'dom' right now for interferring in something that he had no right to interfer in [:)] 

Personally, I am having a hard time understanding why everyone feels that they must 'ride' to her defense here. Believe me, she is more than capable of defending herself if the need should arise.

As to the OP, I see nothing wrong with adding people to your admirer's list. However, I will agree with the consensus in that bringing your little whine here to the forums was indeed in bad taste.



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