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Mushy Topics - 8/9/2006 7:16:32 PM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Did you ever notice that in the mushy topics, women pour their hearts out, and you very rarely if ever see a man post in them....Is it is Macho thing...Why won't they pour out their hearts as well?

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Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

Post #: 1

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/9/2006 7:29:59 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

That's a great question, isn't it? On the confession thread, a LOT of women were being pretty risky and saying some big stuff. Maybe it's that men (in general, not ALL) still hesitate to be vulnerable around so many people. I would think this conflict would be particularly working for the dominant men. What do you think it might be?

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 2

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/9/2006 7:31:52 PM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I dont know, I wish they would chime in and tell us...I really would like to know.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)

Post #: 3

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/9/2006 7:32:54 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

Hmmm ... too bad there isn't an "Ask a man" forum. (smiling)

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 4

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/9/2006 7:38:08 PM

sleazybutterfly

Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

Maybe they are in their own way, such as with a sense of humor. Those like Level, Crappy, Ron, Tamer, VH... they open up, no.. not in a mushy chick way, but in very "manly" I am sensitive, but don't you DARE say a word about it, way.

It's very adorable and they are soooooooooo cute when they do it.

~Andrea

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)

Post #: 5

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/9/2006 7:44:09 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

But isn't a humor a way to dodge being open? I agree that I've seen some of the men on here be very kind, showing that they have a "mushy" side, but when I invited Level to jump in the confession pool, he admitted to admiring others for doing it, but that he would pass (for the moment - heh!).

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

Post #: 6

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/9/2006 7:57:18 PM

sleazybutterfly

Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
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I think that men are just taught, it's not the "manly" thing to do. They aren't emotionally equipped in the same way we are. They don't naturally open themselves up in the same way. Is it brain chemicals? I don't know, it could just be evolution and conditioning.

Sometimes, they need to be non-mushy, they need to be more objective, to counteract our BIG mushy times.

I think that men are just all around more private. We naturally share our lives, our feelings, our thoughts with our best girlfriend and sometimes anyone that will listen. We do this pretty much from birth. Boys just aren't raised the same way, they are taught to be strong, rough, etc... things that don't really go along with "mushy" very well.

So, even though it's with a bit of humor..I treasure those times these "manly men" open up and let us see inside.

~Andrea

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)

Post #: 7

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/9/2006 8:02:56 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

From my current experience, Men dont like the mushy stuff becasue they have to be "men".
Men are not supposed to cry at movies, men arent supposed to want to hold hands becasue they just need to feel someone there, men arent supposed to snuggle closer in bed becasue they need a hug...
And men arent supposed to participate in the mushy stuff, otherwise they risk being labled "in touch with their femenine side" which may be a fate worse than death to some.
I am femenizing my boy, and I stil ve to deal with the inability to open up... so more masculine men, we dont have a chance.

DV

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

Post #: 8

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/9/2006 8:03:27 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
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From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

You know, I was recently reading a book on depression in women, and the author suggested that (in general) women need to share and discuss emotions to fully work through them.

I would buy it if a man said that he didn't have those same needs. In that case, it's not simply that they feel retiecent about sharing, but also that they may not *need* to as much.

I certainly wasn't criticizing the men in my last post ...

(Jesus, I'm gabby tonight)

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

Post #: 9

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/9/2006 8:05:23 PM

nefertari

Posts: 425
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline

I think women talk about our feelings/problems, etc as a catharsis (sp?) and women respond in kind because women are more nurturing. Also, when one woman opens up, others will, too, as a way of empathizing and letting her female companion (online or otherwise) that she is understood and not alone. Men, on the other hand, typically keep things inside, work it out themselves or maybe only have that one special person they will share with.

That's just been my experience. I could, of course, be completely wrong. I have seen some men on here open up a bit, most of them Dom's that I recall, and it really made me feel more comfortable posting around them (as in being around them). I tend to be a bit intimidated by some of the Dom's on here, yet. Tamer, Popeye, Scooter... to name a few. I'm not flaming them. It's actually a compliment. I'm not intimidated by many.

I'm feeling a bit down and was thinking about starting a thread, but didn't want it to be an all about me thread. Good idea or bad? (Don't mean to hijack, I promise.)

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 10

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/9/2006 8:10:14 PM

sleazybutterfly

Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

I think that men do "feel" as much, I just think they are either taught or equipped to shut those things off, or to not let them show.

Women are taught to express, to vent, to share.. maybe men should be also. I think to do too much though, might somehow throw the balance off, so to speak. I mean, there is ying, to the yang..a complete balance. What one lacks, perhaps the other picks up in some way and allows to live.

I am bi, and I have seen it in my relationships with women also. I am the more mushy, the crying one, she was more the not let it get to her type.

~Andrea

< Message edited by sleazybutterfly -- 8/9/2006 8:11:26 PM >

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)

Post #: 11

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/9/2006 8:17:07 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Males are always the vast minority in any online forum, with very few exceptions. It's nothing to do with the topic.

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(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

Post #: 12

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/9/2006 8:26:13 PM

KenDckey

Posts: 4121
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline

Interesting Ladies.    I believe that you have hit the nail on the head. Well close anyway.

I only saw my dad cry once.   When his dad died and his m other had a stroke (all within 7 days). Dad was a cowboy, Yes he rode a horse and punched cattle when I was small.

When I was in the Army, they pretty much took my emotions from me (starting in Basic Training).   In combat, you don't have time to have emotions.   You just have to respond instinctively. 20 years of holding back on my emotions was a pretty strong motivator.

While I was in the Army, I was on the scene of an incident on Christmas Eve where Dad had his head blown off and I had to hold his baby covered in goo (I was in Africa then). then for Christmas 1984 (Atlanta) I had to notify 4 kids and a guys wife that he had died (yes on Christmas Day).

It caused me to dislike Christmas very much and every year at Christmas I get crying spells (even Christmas Music gets to me).

I had to retrain my mind after I retired from the Military. Now

   I cry anytime I hear taps
   I cry for girly movies
   I cry for patriotic music
   I cried at Denny's because I fell down and gave my great grand daughter her first boo boo.
   I cried when I fed my great grand daughter her first solid meal
   I cry all the time for all the emotional things.
   I cried the first time I saw each of my grandkids and great grandkids.

And yes I am Dominate and don't find a coflict between my emotions.

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)

Post #: 13

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/9/2006 8:33:38 PM

nefertari

Posts: 425
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline

I would respect you more as a Dom for openly expressing your emotions.

(in reply to KenDckey)

Post #: 14

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/9/2006 8:36:59 PM

SavageFaerie

Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline

Men are just more private. The do spill their guts....in private to those they feel safe doing it with.

A man is not lesser a person by trying to be a stong man on their outer shell.
I know I try my best to show a stronger outer shell than I have, though the confession thread did draw me, and it drew them men too. They read they supported in their own way.

I think many a hurt man can been seen though kindness and thought provoking statements.

I can read between lines....maybe I just see it more.

_____________________________

Disclaimer:If its the wrong word or misspelled I blame on my fingers and brains refusing to interact.

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

Post #: 15

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/9/2006 8:39:50 PM

KenDckey

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Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nefertari

I would respect you more as a Dom for openly expressing your emotions.

Thank you. My grand daughter, also dominate, is constantly getting on to me for my emotional releases. Thinks I am a strange old man.

(in reply to nefertari)

Post #: 16

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/9/2006 8:47:30 PM

SavageFaerie

Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline

I have many emotional men friends, ones that are not afraid to show true feelings. Of course I tend to be around those emotionall unstable so maybe that is it. Instablity does seek Instability for understanding.

We help each other grow and get differnt feedback than from women.

A man that can cry would more like have my heart than one that couldnt.

_____________________________

Disclaimer:If its the wrong word or misspelled I blame on my fingers and brains refusing to interact.

(in reply to KenDckey)

Post #: 17

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/9/2006 9:26:58 PM

pounddog

Posts: 65
Joined: 6/2/2006
Status: offline

Hey cuddleheart , For me expressing my thoughts an emotions has been a gradual process, many years of seeing the folly in being ridged... Like those naive people who think that they can never break, i know a fellar who could not , i mean could not understand how a person could contemplate suicide, till his wife of some 20 years left him for another man.. He then found himself in that frame of mind he never thought possible... ive been on a journey it seems to find the truth that sets one free, and i found that to get closer to that truth i had to get closer , and aware of all things , and all ideas, being open to possibilities , and experiences i had previously discounted because of ridged thinking... i was going to erase this whole post, because i don't know if im making any sense at all.... ill leave it , i just can't finish it ..

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 18

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/9/2006 9:30:19 PM

MarksFantasyGirl

Posts: 3660
Joined: 10/13/2005
Status: offline

I made my love cry once... when we would joke around, i would say "eww... I hate you!" you know, b/c he would always play on my ummm. gulible-ness.. lol well, one time, we were fighting, and i acedentally said it to him.... he just looked at me, and i saw the tears well up in his eyes... then he choked down the lump and asked me why i said that... i felt so bad for it, that i swore to him i would never tell him i hated him even if we were playing... and i haven't....

_____________________________

--Fannie
AKA Savage's Fantasy
AKA Girl Dave
AKA Resident Flirt
AKA Sexy Hawt Woman

~*~Happily and proudly collared by my best friend~*~

Quitcher bitchen, and get out of the kitchen! ~Harry {3rdRock}

(in reply to pounddog)

Post #: 19

RE: Mushy Topics - 8/10/2006 12:15:54 AM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

It is because we are men. We aren't that interested as you women are with mushy stuff.

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Boycott Whales!

(in reply to MarksFantasyGirl)

Post #: 20

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