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just a question or two - 8/10/2006 1:22:54 AM

beastyboy

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/5/2006
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forgive me for asking but could Someone please explain to me what the Facination is with inflicting pain onto others, i have been looking all over this site and the majority of the profiles state that pain is a part of the life style, not everyone is into pain,
ohh another question,, Why is it that Some Mistress's think that They need to be paid to take on a slave or submissive, maybe it is just me but i fail tosee how inflicting pain or squeezing money from another person is " Being a Loving Mistress or Master" but that is just me,

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RE: just a question or two - 8/10/2006 5:04:41 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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Masochists love pain for different reasons but the endorphin rush is the biggest and taking the pain for their Mistress/Master. Not everyone is into pain, but you will find alot are hence why its called BDSM or Bondage Discipline Sadism Masochism. I'm a sadist, I like inflicting pain on my sub who is a masochist. But there are others who are into it for the discipline/control aspects too.

Some Mistresses take money because they are either Pro Domme's who get paid for what it is that they do, or some males like to give a woman their money as part of a head fuck. They aren't squeezing money from anyone these guys are paying because they WANT to, if they didn't want to pay they would find a Domme to have a relationship with that didn't call for it.

You may want to purchase some books to give you further insight into what BDSM is.
SM101: A Realistic Introduction By Jay Wiseman, The Loving Dominant By John Warren, Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns By Philip Miller, The New Bottoming Book By Janet Hardy

Good Luck,

~Lashra

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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

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RE: just a question or two - 8/10/2006 5:08:35 AM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
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My goodness. Your first post and you are looking for a flamefest. A lot of people enjoy pain, they find it pleasurable and a form of stress and emotional release. Others enjoy giving money, or having a Dom/me control their finances. If it doesn't float your boat then don't do it.

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RE: just a question or two - 8/10/2006 3:21:17 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: beastyboy

forgive me for asking but could Someone please explain to me what the Facination is with inflicting pain onto others, i have been looking all over this site and the majority of the profiles state that pain is a part of the life style, not everyone is into pain,
ohh another question,, Why is it that Some Mistress's think that They need to be paid to take on a slave or submissive, maybe it is just me but i fail tosee how inflicting pain or squeezing money from another person is " Being a Loving Mistress or Master" but that is just me,

Me thinks you need a non-consensual slap upside the head. That's NOT for my sadistic enjoyment either.

Are you really that ignorant?

Not everyone is into EVERYTHING you see here on this site, be it pain, dominance, submission, pony play, scat, piss, blood, knives, sissies, etc. To each his/her own.

There are some slaves that desire to be a client. They don't seek love. Perhaps they have it already at home and want the skill or the dominance without the commitment. It's a fairly good arrangement for someone who needs their kink fulfilled on a temporary basis.

Bottom line: we've had both of these discussions here a hundred times. Go do a search on pro-dommes and sadists.) Why? Because we're not board masochists for your entertainment.

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: just a question or two - 8/10/2006 3:27:07 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
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OY.

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RE: just a question or two - 8/10/2006 4:09:06 PM

mp072004

Posts: 381
Joined: 12/22/2005
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Sadists have a lot of different reasons to like pain, and ways they like pain. Some people like giving pain to people who enjoy the sensation of pain, just like "normal" people like doing, say, oral sex. Here, pain can indeed be an expression of love. Some people like the terror or feeling of non-consent, and pain is a good way to get to this if the bottom does not like the sensation of pain. Some people inflict or receive pain for catharsis. Some like pain as it helps a punishment dynamic.

In any relationship (note: not just romantic or sexual), people engage in compromises and inducements to make the relationship happen. I give you something you like and you give me something I like in return. The women you mention have likely decided that in turn for doing something you like (dominating or topping you), they will ask for money in return.

Not everyone wants to be a loving dominant, or, for that matter, a loving submissive.

Finally, beastyboy, I do wish you had posed your questions more precisely and civilly, because they're not bad questions. "Forgive me for asking" is, honestly, a rotten opener. If you need forgiveness for asking something, don't ask it in the first place. However, you don't really need forgiveness for the topics you inquired about--you just need forgiveness for the muddled and hostile way you asked about them. Asking sadists what makes them tick doesn't need to be a contentious topic. Similarly, one can have an enlightening, courteous conversation about how different people approach BDSM in relation to love. Money is a bit harder, but I'll bet you could manage a good conversation about it, too.

Monica

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RE: just a question or two - 8/16/2006 3:20:14 PM

LadyAlexa

Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: beastyboy

forgive me for asking but could Someone please explain to me what the Facination is with inflicting pain onto others, i have been looking all over this site and the majority of the profiles state that pain is a part of the life style, not everyone is into pain,
ohh another question,, Why is it that Some Mistress's think that They need to be paid to take on a slave or submissive, maybe it is just me but i fail tosee how inflicting pain or squeezing money from another person is " Being a Loving Mistress or Master" but that is just me,

1. Not everyone is into giving or recieving pain. Sadist enjoy making others suffer so some folks on here and in real life are sadists. There are many who learn that they can tolerate 'pain' after a proper warm up when the endorphins kick in so actually you are on a ride to keep the enorphins rising just above any level of pain being inflicted.

2. In my opinion, any Dom who wants payment from a sub/slave, is a Pro. They make part or all of their living from bdsm work. Sometimes it could be used to weed out the undesirables. As when anyone asks me how much it costs to be with me....I know I don't want them to be with me.

3. Don't generalize so much. There are many levels within the lifestyle and bdsm. Gee I think I type that same thing everytime I come onto the forum.

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RE: just a question or two - 8/17/2006 7:48:53 PM

MisstressStella

Posts: 26
Joined: 7/3/2006
From: Birmingham, Alabama
Status: offline

Beastyboy,

You over generalize with the pain comment. Not everyone in the BDSM lifestyle is into pain. There are many types of D/s interaction. Pain is for some a huge rush.

You refer to people wanting to "squeeze" money. ProDominants are paid for their sessions. Paid sessions are between the submissive and the ProDominant that is conducting the session. You make it sound like they are forcing payments. Lifestyle Dominants are not paid.

Lady Stella

< Message edited by MisstressStella -- 8/17/2006 7:50:42 PM >

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RE: just a question or two - 8/17/2006 11:56:21 PM

EbonyFtshGoddess

Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
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it's called selection dear.

not everyone is a sadist (i personally am).. not everyone is a masochist ( few of my slaves are).

not EVERYONE is seeking a full on D/s relationship.

you have dommes that are money dommes, don't expect much, you have pro dommes that provide a LEGITIMATE service and are often the first induction into bdsm that most men encounter.

not all dommes are into pain just like not all males are into money slavery nor paying a pro domme.

if you are willing to commit to complete ownership- seek a lifestyle domme.

if you are seeking a few kinky hours a week or month per your OWN stipulations, then seek a pro.

it's just sorta like finding a life partner. if both parties are upfront with what they seek and then both parties agree to whatever.. then so be it.

not ALL dommes are into pain. i know many female dominants that only want pain piggies and they accept nothing else.

then some such as myself have a boy for every facet. i dont make my ponies subject themselves to severe pain.

your best bet is not to stereotype.

and spend more time into seaching for a good match.

the Umbrella of BDSM and fetish is broad, but it wont stop the rain from everyone.

it takes time to find a PERECT match.

but not all dommes are into pain and even if they are, it doesn't mean they are into inflicting said pain on EVERYONE they encounter.

find someone you click with like legos and have at it

-Goddess

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