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High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/10/2006 7:05:22 PM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
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I know a lot of people with high profile careers, such as police officers, school teachers, etc... have to be very careful because if word of their activities is made public it could ruin a wonderful career. So far my experiences with public groups has been very discreet. You would not be able to tell them as a group apart from any other. (oh they are a bit more colorful and look like a crazy bunch of characters, but it isn't obvious they are a bunch of pervs) So how dangerous is exposure do you think?

For example I met a very nice man who is a pediatrician in a very conservative suburb of Dallas.He was reluctant to go to public dungeons and play parties for fear of exposure. Based on your experience do you think his fears are founded? Would he be taking a big risk? What way could he minimize that risk and still attend some public functions?

Post #: 1

RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/10/2006 7:19:58 PM

diamonddreamlove

Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline

I am in a small area and was recently "outed". Will it hurt my professional career probably for those folks i really don't care to treat as a therapist anyway. Am learning more ppl are interested in the ability of the professional than their ummm perverted ideas. As a politician that is perhaps different but most ppl i believe don't care if i get spanked lol as long as i am not pushing my interests onto them. Perhaps one that wishes to hide from the public eye and still play in public could wear a mask just seems like a lot of bs to need to do that after all if i am playing in public and you see me there and out me further i would have to ask why you were there as well. Is a two way street lol. And i would ask my question of the person that outed me in front of those that i had been outed to. Would not want only one side of the story told(said tongue in cheek but also with meaning).

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 2

RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/10/2006 7:47:30 PM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

Most people find a way, if they want, to enjoy their private time as they wish. The age-old argument of being seen in an adult bookstore comes to mind. If someone you know sees YOU in there, you think you're on the spot. But in reality, now you know something about THEM, also. So, it evens out.

Mind you, you're 'preaching to the choir' in this gathering, but I'll play Devil's Advocate for a moment. I don't have any offspring, and I personally wouldn't necessarily mind if their doctor had some kinky inclinations. However, the vanilla parents of 'clients' might have a problem with it. It's not that he's a doctor per se, but those whom he is most around.

That's my take. But I've never been a parent. That I know of.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 3

RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/10/2006 8:13:28 PM

zenofeller

Posts: 463
Joined: 6/10/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout
I know a lot of people with high profile careers, such as police officers, school teachers, etc... have to be very careful because if word of their activities is made public it could ruin a wonderful career. So far my experiences with public groups has been very discreet. You would not be able to tell them as a group apart from any other. (oh they are a bit more colorful and look like a crazy bunch of characters, but it isn't obvious they are a bunch of pervs) So how dangerous is exposure do you think?

For example I met a very nice man who is a pediatrician in a very conservative suburb of Dallas.He was reluctant to go to public dungeons and play parties for fear of exposure. Based on your experience do you think his fears are founded? Would he be taking a big risk? What way could he minimize that risk and still attend some public functions?

i thought being a senator, talk show host, gambino family head, mayor, professional athlete etc is high profile. when did dunkin doughnuts and soup kitchen become where the high profile gather ?

< Message edited by zenofeller -- 8/10/2006 8:14:08 PM >

(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 4

RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/10/2006 8:18:41 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear TNstepsout, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Being in the Nation's capital, politics and intrigue runs rampit. Unfortunately, the 'scene' has had problems with being discreet. I've repeatedly seen people nationwide, exposed and it is more evident when there is a tit-for-tat vindictive exchange.

I agree, as has been agreed by, noted presenters that there are just cases where people cannot afford to give their real names exposed to others in the scene. I know I asked--even pleaded with a female to not use my first name and broke the trust by doing so, loudly and with no regret. So, I pay by cash, I use postal money orders and any other means to protect my identity. Since I cannot trust people, even in the local scene to respect my request, I certainly cannot expect them to be discreet. So, since the 1990's--I have been extremely disappointed by notables who preach "be discreet" and violate the very thing they demand of others.

I do admit my envy, to those who can be free to disclose their real identity. However, those of us who are walking on the edge per se by, placing ourselves at risk of being 'outted,' do have justification for our cloak. As the old World War II poster said, "Loose lips sink ships." Sadly, it is our friends who sink our ships--more than the enemy.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 5

RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/10/2006 8:19:01 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Luckily with my chosen career being seen in public at functions only helps me.

Though, the only thing I would recommend is go to parties where they know everyone prior. Those who don't allow the general public in.
We have them here...they have them all over. Just be careful.

I have known teachers to see others out in public...no issue as of yet but it doesn't stop them from worrying.

(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 6

RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/10/2006 8:19:39 PM

wildslave38

Posts: 18
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline

I DO HAVE TO AGREE ON KEEPING LOWE PROFILE,MY EXPERINCES IN PAST ALMOST COST ME MY JOB..ND MY CAREER ND BEING DECREET IS MUST ..

(in reply to zenofeller)

Post #: 7

RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/10/2006 8:28:50 PM

TheOriginalBitch

Posts: 35
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline

Have Him come on down to The Sanctuary Dungeon In Dallas. It's a private club and remember who ever see's them, they are there too! And it is the policy of the club don't ask don't tell and don't expose....period. And if he feels real shy He can rent the Dungeon by the hour for a private party, don't know the cost, you will have to call them. Just a FYI they are having a membership drive this Friday August 11th, 2006 Only! Get a 18 month membership for the price of 12 months. $70 a year I think with a $15 munch donation per event, again please call them. Anyway it's a great group of people down there.

_____________________________

Mistress
"The Original Bitch"

(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 8

RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/10/2006 8:31:14 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

I've attended private parties and seen a local newscaster there, a professional wrestler, loads of business people, lawyers, cops, firefighters, teachers, nurses.
No-one cared about me, I'm definately "Dunkin Donuts."

(in reply to wildslave38)

Post #: 9

RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/10/2006 9:58:55 PM

Owned1

Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline

When I first ventured out in the public forum this was a huge concern of mine. Not only my professional life but that of my kids, I was in the process of a seperation/divorce. I talked it over with the Dom I was with and his response was anyone who will see you will be there as well so what is the worry.

When you think about it that is true. I do however live in Canada and I honestly feel the general population is far more accepting than that of those in the USA. I have seen the problems large groups have had with holding conventions etc when the word gets out.

I am not sure where I would stand if I was a politician or something similar. Truly if anyone wanted to expose dirty laundry we all have some that could be hung out to dry for all to see kinky or not.

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 10

RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/10/2006 10:49:04 PM

subfever

Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

I met a very nice man who is a pediatrician in a very conservative suburb of Dallas.He was reluctant to go to public dungeons and play parties for fear of exposure. Based on your experience do you think his fears are founded? Would he be taking a big risk?

If he is a male sub, you can bet your booties that his fears are founded!

(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 11

RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/10/2006 10:56:27 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

All I can say is that I have a high-profile career (a little more high-profile than police officer or schoolteacher, I'd say), and there's no way in hell I am going to come out publicly. People who deserve to know--they know who I am.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

I know a lot of people with high profile careers, such as police officers, school teachers, etc... have to be very careful because if word of their activities is made public it could ruin a wonderful career.

(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 12

RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 12:38:46 AM

diamonddreamlove

Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline

Wasn't my choice to be outed but i will be damned if i am ashamed of it. There again as has been said life could have been easier if someone had been discreet instead of vindictive. It hurt more to be betrayed than outed and i have nothing more to lose now so oh well i will continue to enjoy being myself. I also know how to be discreet wouldn't do it to someone i hated but in reality is a relief i don't have to hide anymore and ppl will look at me, talk behind my back and i suspect then ask me out. Discretely of course.

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 13

RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 1:06:51 AM

sharainks

Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline

Yes his fears are founded especially doing what he does. I would have to wonder why one would want to press someone who doesn't want to take the risk to do so.

I spent a couple of years going to public things before I ended up in a job I could lose easily if my interests were discovered. There isn't anything so special about groups, munches and dungeons that going to them is worth your career. People get outted way too easy in groups to have much trust in their willingness to keep your private life private.

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)

Post #: 14

RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 1:11:15 AM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

that is so true, I went to a tea group meeting and a domme I'd met and was on another group with told everybody a pack of lies about me telling every one do not trust her, I drag my parents to bdsm events and make them sit in ont hem, which by the way isn't true.

Anyway she was only out to be a bitch and distroy my reputation, but she got soundly smacked down by a bunch of women who thought he behavior was horrid.

However I know if it was a sub who did that their ass would of been grass.

(in reply to sharainks)

Post #: 15

RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 1:18:12 AM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

You're not missing much by not going to public play spaces, most groups are so full of clicks and back stabbing and bitchy ness and inner drauma trauma. One domina during a fight about something told me her sister said I was mentally unstable a horridly behaved child wouldn't know how to behave if I was given a book on it, and needed pychological help, and on and on and on and her sister knows cause she's a pychologis so she is capable of making those diagnosess. I Ignored her of course. But it illistrates my point.

Some of the subs in such groups are worse than catty 5th graders lol.

On the way back from SF one time this woman who was riding with us did nothing but mutter under her breath trying to start something.

I could of made rude comments back but i took the high road lol, I just kept all my nasty thoughts to myself hehe.

< Message edited by FelinePersuasion -- 8/11/2006 1:26:17 AM >

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

Post #: 16

RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 3:00:12 AM

wandering4u

Posts: 167
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline

No way I would go public. I'd be fired before you could do a double-take. Some jobs just have the public's expectation of the person being totally vanilla and their name being submitted for sainthood. Unrealistic but I'm staying quiet.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

Post #: 17

RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 4:16:10 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

I cannot claim to have a high profile career yet i do guard myself from being outed due to morality clauses i have had to sign for those companies who provide sponsorship for my racing.

I attend events without concern because obviously as another poster stated if they see me there i have seen them there as well.

But anyone can send an anonymous letter with the addy for cm where a factory rep could find my photo so i never post one. And at biker events where "show me your tits" is yelled 24/7 if they want a picture in exchange for beads i just tell them no face shots and why. They never seem to have an issue with that, fucking bikers any way...........Lol.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 18

RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 5:03:13 AM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharainks

Yes his fears are founded especially doing what he does. I would have to wonder why one would want to press someone who doesn't want to take the risk to do so.

I've not pressed anyone. He's a newbie Dom (not mine-just a friend) so I had mentioned public parties and events as a way to meet people, watch and learn. It's the only advice I could really offer since I'm new too and didn't have friends to introduce him to as a possible mentor or teacher. That's when he explained his concerns related to his job. I knew what he did, but since those things never concerned me, I had never considered it. I realized of course, how valid his concerns were, since we are smack dab in the middle of the Bible belt. But since I have begun to attend a few public functions and saw how low key and discreet they are, I wondered if he might be OK to attend after all.

(in reply to sharainks)

Post #: 19

RE: High Profile Careers and the Lifestyle - 8/11/2006 5:10:43 AM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

Thanks all. I guess my choice of the term "high profile" wasn't the best. What I really meant were careers/jobs that could be impacted by outing to vanilla public. I used teachers a police as examples because public perception of what kink is all about could impact a career in those fields.

Sounds like he definately could be taking a chance. It's too bad since public functions are such a great way to meet like minded people, learn and experience new things.

(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 20

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