Showing respect while typing? (Full Version)

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simplygrl -> Showing respect while typing? (8/12/2006 10:21:10 AM)

Here is my...situation.  For a variety of reasons, I have been struggling with finding a way my Sir would approve of to type to/with him when we are not together/or are using the computer for communication.

Essentially, I am dyslexic, and many letters look much the same.  Through habit and practice, I can type "normally" without much of a problem, but if I start to change the habit it bleeds over into my other typings/writings--which need to be professional as presenting myself in an intelligent/educated manner is VERY important to my career success. 

I'm looking for options, here.  The current status for our conversations, which works for me but is not enough for him, is that I am careful to address him in each sentence or "organized thought" with a capitalized "Sir"....i.e.

"Good morning, Sir"

Typing like this, however, posses a real problem for me:  "i hope You are having a great day, Sir!"....and mentally, I have extreme amounts of difficulty phrasing sentences without using pronouns, or substituting words for the pronouns...ie, "This slut hopes Sir is having a great day" --it hinders my ability to communicate with him, as at that point, I just don't want to type because the sentence structure drives me mad.

I realize I look like I'm whining--but honestly, I'm just trying to see if there are any other options out there.  I wish to make him happy, but I do not want my professional life to suffer, or my ability to communicate with him to be hindered. 

I am open to any suggestions!!



WinterWolf -> RE: Showing respect while typing? (8/12/2006 10:36:38 AM)

I would suggest getting off the computer, talking to him on the phone and explaining just what you have written here.
I don't think any top should try and top a sub without understanding her special needs first.
Your Sir should have a very good understanding of dyslexia.  How it effects your typeing/writing and be able to talk with you about it and help you.
If your Sir is not well versed about what is going on in your brain, you should tell them as best you can and maybe seek a professional who can help explain, or have a sit down with some close friends who have the same thing and discuss it.

If your Sir does have an indepth understanding and is setting rules to try and help you, I would suggest finding a support group.
I have found some of the most excellent support groups online for OCD, ADD, ADHD, Dyslexia, and some other learning disorders.



juliaoceania -> RE: Showing respect while typing? (8/12/2006 10:39:30 AM)

Is this type of speak an issue for him? I do capitalize Daddy on the forum when speaking about him, but I do not do so when typing in an instant message or in an email. He dislikes the use of these things when we talk in private and he always uses proper grammar, and expects me to also. Perhaps this is not an issue with him but an issue with you? Has he even expressed the desire for you to do this?

If he wants you to do this I would ask if he is aware of your dyslexia? Does he know the disadvantage that puts you under when changing the way that you type from normal punctuation? If he doesn't understand I would tell him how hard it is for you... you will probably be surprised at his willingness to accommodate your learning disability.

Good luck



mstrjx -> RE: Showing respect while typing? (8/12/2006 10:46:24 AM)

It is true that W/we (ha, joke) have indeed managed to bastardize our communications.  Capitals where they don't belong, Lowercase 'i' in reference to yourself.  Pronouns with both spellings with slashes.  Referring to ourselves in the third person.  It can be hard to write if your thinking is not on the ball; it can be hard to read if you're not accustomed to it.

If it's important to our more-dominant significant other, we try and adapt, English teachers be damned.  And that's fine and well and good.  But in your case, whiny or not, you have a special case and a special need.  You are trying to do well in your work, and you are trying to be pleasing.

Off the topic completely, I bet your Sir is changing your mood and behavior in all ways, whether he does so explicitly or not.  He might be altering your demeanor, in such a way that he finds you pleasing.  When you are in public, and other people find you pleasing in their way, you are making your Sir look good.  Whether you have considered this or not, you are a walking, breathing, embodiment of your Sir.  You should strive in everything you do, to show well on him.  If you do this, he gains pleasure and pride.  This carries over to your work.  The more you succeed on a personal level, the more he can take credit for your success.

So, the issue really isn't for you, but for your Sir.  Would He rather you serve Him and please Him in what is, for all intents and purposes, a trivial issue, or would He rather help to keep you focussed and on track in your business place so you can truly glorify Him in the ways it matters most?

Jeff



MstrssPassion -> RE: Showing respect while typing? (8/12/2006 10:59:03 AM)

I agree with WinterWolf.

If you explain this to your Sir as you have explained here he should understand that this manner of typing will cause you problems. He should be just as concerned with your limitations as you are with your desire to please him.

On a side note, I have never understood this whole internet style of "when to cap & when not to cap" or the whole slashy-thing, does it really take a capital to validate one's role? Personally, as a dominant, I feel no need to have every word begin with a capital when it refers to me. In fact when I begin online communication with an individual I make it known from the onset that I prefer notes to be written in the same manner that one would write to a family member or within the workplace.



LeatherBentOne -> RE: Showing respect while typing? (8/12/2006 1:04:14 PM)

Hiya simplygrl,

Im secure in my dominance so if anyone wishes to cap me, thats fine.  If not, well thats fine too.  I know who and what I am and Im comfortable with both the who and the what.

Legitimate learning disabilities require acceptance, understanding and patience.  I have a learning disability that doesnt allow me to sequence facts and events as others do and it requires me to work around, above and below my disability.  What I find that adds significantly to my sometimes frustration is when I expect more of myself than I am cognitively able to do.  However, what I find the most mind-boggling is the frustation I suffer from those who dont comprehend that people with learning disabilities may try their best to overcome them but more often than not, thats why they call them disabilities . . . meaning "not able to do" versus not wanting to, or too stubborn or disobedient or defiant to do. 

Please ask your Dominant to become educated regarding dyslexia and hopefully he will not see it as a defect or a learniing disabilty that causes him to lose face in the eyes of the public.  WinterWolf gave excellent advice.  That said, my dear, best of luck to yoou and yours. 

Life means more than our disabilities, it embraces all that we are. *smile*

LeatherBentOne



Focus50 -> RE: Showing respect while typing? (8/12/2006 4:26:16 PM)

As one whose never had to deal with dyslexia, I've never understood the ramifications until you explained it here....
 
Simply, if you were my girl, I'd insist you dispel with any written honourifics etc toward me that may confuse your normal patterns.  Afterall, you make it obvious yours is a r/l relationship so surely he can make allowances for your written difficulties - I not only would, I'd insist!
 
Another thought as a compromise....  Again, I don't know how difficult this is for a dyslexic but what about limiting your written communications to the use of just one specific term of respect or honourific  - "Sir"?  "Sir" doesn't sound like the most common written word in everyday use so you can use it as "your" word just for him....
 
When it comes to written words/terms of respect, I appreciate them more when it comes naturally to the girl rather than be an unnecessary obstacle course.
 
Focus.



simplygrl -> RE: Showing respect while typing? (8/12/2006 7:55:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Is this type of speak an issue for him? I do capitalize Daddy on the forum when speaking about him, but I do not do so when typing in an instant message or in an email. He dislikes the use of these things when we talk in private and he always uses proper grammar, and expects me to also. Perhaps this is not an issue with him but an issue with you? Has he even expressed the desire for you to do this?


Yes, he has.  He has asked me to come up with additional ideas in the past, but none that I could think of were enough for him.  This time around, he told me I could seek help.  :) 

quote:


If he wants you to do this I would ask if he is aware of your dyslexia? Does he know the disadvantage that puts you under when changing the way that you type from normal punctuation? If he doesn't understand I would tell him how hard it is for you... you will probably be surprised at his willingness to accommodate your learning disability.

Good luck


Yes, he is aware of all that I have said here--and he doesn't necessarily want to mess up my professional side, but at the same time, would like there to be some constant reminder in typed communication of my submission.

Thanks for the reply, though! :) 



simplygrl -> RE: Showing respect while typing? (8/12/2006 10:31:26 PM)

quote:

So, the issue really isn't for you, but for your Sir.  Would He rather you serve Him and please Him in what is, for all intents and purposes, a trivial issue, or would He rather help to keep you focussed and on track in your business place so you can truly glorify Him in the ways it matters most?


While I see your point, and do agree that this is mostly an issue for him rather than for me, he has asked me to look for/find alternatives to the ways of showing respect in typing that won't affect my "day job"...So it's back to being my issue.  But in any event, I will let him know what so many have suggested, and I thank you for your reply. :)



simplygrl -> RE: Showing respect while typing? (8/12/2006 10:34:19 PM)

I appreciate your advice! Thank you. 

I will say, however, that he is fully aware of the situation (including my dyslexia and the problems it can cause with my profession)...but wants some sort of constant reminder (for me, not him) of my submission in text when it becomes our method of communication.

Any links/directions to find some of the more "active" groups for dyslexia?  You've got me curious--and the ones I found were fairly inactive. :)



simplygrl -> RE: Showing respect while typing? (8/12/2006 10:36:19 PM)

quote:

On a side note, I have never understood this whole internet style of "when to cap & when not to cap" or the whole slashy-thing, does it really take a capital to validate one's role? Personally, as a dominant, I feel no need to have every word begin with a capital when it refers to me. In fact when I begin online communication with an individual I make it known from the onset that I prefer notes to be written in the same manner that one would write to a family member or within the workplace.


Side note...noted? :)  If only that would be satisfactory...haha.  But he does want something to distinguish my treatment of him vs. others...



simplygrl -> RE: Showing respect while typing? (8/12/2006 10:45:28 PM)

quote:

As one whose never had to deal with dyslexia, I've never understood the ramifications until you explained it here....


It goes much beyond what I've mentioned here, but I'm always for helping others become knowledgeable about...well, anything that I might happen to know about. ;)  I'm glad that could help a bit.

quote:

  Another thought as a compromise....  Again, I don't know how difficult this is for a dyslexic but what about limiting your written communications to the use of just one specific term of respect or honourific  - "Sir"?  "Sir" doesn't sound like the most common written word in everyday use so you can use it as "your" word just for him....


That is the current situation--I only refer to him as Sir, and it is the one word that I feel, without a doubt, I could consistantly capitalize without any problems--mostly because, if, by some chance, the word were to pop up in my professional life, it is likely to be capitalized anyhow.  This, however, is not enough for him--so I'm seeking help in finding other compromises.  Thanks, though!  Yours is one of the few replies that I've read that had a suggested compromise.  I really appreciate it! :)



Focus50 -> RE: Showing respect while typing? (8/13/2006 2:42:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplygrl


quote:

  Another thought as a compromise....  Again, I don't know how difficult this is for a dyslexic but what about limiting your written communications to the use of just one specific term of respect or honourific  - "Sir"?  "Sir" doesn't sound like the most common written word in everyday use so you can use it as "your" word just for him....


That is the current situation--I only refer to him as Sir, and it is the one word that I feel, without a doubt, I could consistantly capitalize without any problems--mostly because, if, by some chance, the word were to pop up in my professional life, it is likely to be capitalized anyhow.  This, however, is not enough for him--so I'm seeking help in finding other compromises.  Thanks, though!  Yours is one of the few replies that I've read that had a suggested compromise.  I really appreciate it! :)

As I suspected and others have mentioned, the problem is with him!  If he's watching this thread, I'd just like to add he's acting like an insecure, immature arse!
 
Focus.



TopCurious0 -> RE: Showing respect while typing? (8/13/2006 8:47:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplygrl

Yes, he is aware of all that I have said here--and he doesn't necessarily want to mess up my professional side, but at the same time, would like there to be some constant reminder in typed communication of my submission.

Thanks for the reply, though! :) 


Have you thought about having a standard salutation or signiture that is a reaffermation of your submission to him.
Or to put it more simply, adding text instead of altering how you write?



MstrssPassion -> RE: Showing respect while typing? (8/13/2006 9:01:42 AM)

I'm with Focus on this one...(what he said)

In addition:

Maybe you can make up one of those frilly little star burst thingies that you have in your signature line that you can copy & paste onto your written correspondence.

_./'\._¸¸.•¤**¤•.¸.•¤*
*•. .•** SIR*..**               
/.•*•.\ ¸..•¤**¤•., .•¤*


Or maybe refer to him with a smiley that resembles an image of him. [sm=idea.gif]

I can't believe so much stress is being placed on you to come up with a written way to honor him. I hope that he is following this post & realizes just how many people find this written form to be insignificant when compared to real ways that you can honor him.

I will close with one final statement...

If anyone is deserving of respect it is you simplygrl. You have gone out of your way to find a means to please a man who appears to be unaccommodating with your specific limitations. The honor is yours since you have been sent out to solve a problem that exist with him. Since you are not able to fulfill this whim it would be of my opinion it should be he that offers resolution rather than send you out to seek resolve from complete strangers.

I imagine that you feel a sense of failure since you have not been able to find a solution. Am I right? How petty a thing to be create such angst in one who seems to strive to please the one she serves.



angelic -> RE: Showing respect while typing? (8/13/2006 9:20:05 AM)

From the sounds of things, he's very insecure and doesn't really have your best interest at heart (just my opinion). 



MistressTexas -> RE: Showing respect while typing? (8/13/2006 9:49:46 AM)

I second the "whiny immature ass" comments regarding your "master." I've worked with quite a few dyslexics in various capacities ( I used to be a tutor, for one), and quite a few of them expressed much the same problem you do. Whenever a teacher instructed them to write in a certain fashion, it was extremely difficult for them to switch out of that style.

EG: A science teacher assigns a very large assignment, which must be written in objective 3rd person.... a week later, the english teacher assigns a touchy feely essay. Touchy feely ends up being cold and analytical.

Perhaps what your "master" needs to understand, is that this is a rather common problem among dyslexics. Were I in your particular situation, I would kindly inform my "master" that unless he is willing to fully financially support me in the event of my submission bleeding into my professional life and getting me fired, he can kiss my submissive ass. Relationships will come and go. If you have a good career, and a good job, where you can advance and prosper, you need to protect that.



simplygrl -> RE: Showing respect while typing? (8/13/2006 10:12:22 AM)

quote:

Have you thought about having a standard salutation or signiture that is a reaffermation of your submission to him.
Or to put it more simply, adding text instead of altering how you write?


Thanks!  I had not thought about something like that.  I'll add that to the list of considerations. :)



simplygrl -> RE: Showing respect while typing? (8/13/2006 10:14:42 AM)

quote:

From the sounds of things, he's very insecure and doesn't really have your best interest at heart (just my opinion). 


I can see how you may get that impression...but it's not my intent to give anyone that feeling about him.  He is very demanding, yes, but also very caring.  :)



catize -> RE: Showing respect while typing? (8/13/2006 10:57:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplygrl

quote:

From the sounds of things, he's very insecure and doesn't really have your best interest at heart (just my opinion). 


I can see how you may get that impression...but it's not my intent to give anyone that feeling about him.  He is very demanding, yes, but also very caring.  :)

A caring person would make their demands realistic.  YOU have tried to solve the problem, and through no fault of your own, it hasn't worked.  He's an unpleasable ass. 



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