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RE: soothing after punishment - 8/17/2006 4:22:57 AM

RavenMuse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FrankAr
As for soothing her, I don't go too far in the punishment to make her cry.

I don't use 'punishment' the way some seem to, when she has disapointed me badly and we address the issue there is often tears from the girl. She knows exactly how disapointed I am and exactly why. It is serious and she knows that serious things, should they continue and not be addressed WILL eventualy lead Me to re-evaluate her value to Me.

Almost every girl I've had has stated at some point or other that they would rather face My cane than face My disapointment. Frankly I too would preffer to 'play' with a cane than BE disapointed, but that would change nothing, she would learn nothing, the problem would not go away.

Often the soothing begins during the sorting out, when she has convinced me she understands the problem fully and is as committed as I am to working toward a solution. Many a time that talk has began with her on her knees at my feet in tears and ended with her curled on my lap being reasured. But once or twice it has ended with me removing her collar, perminantly! (You can't work with a girl who works against you rather than with you. I don't tollerate brats.)

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RE: soothing after punishment - 8/17/2006 10:18:05 AM

Slipstreme

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quote:

I don't use 'punishment' the way some seem to, when she has disapointed me badly and we address the issue there is often tears from the girl. She knows exactly how disapointed I am and exactly why. It is serious and she knows that serious things, should they continue and not be addressed WILL eventualy lead Me to re-evaluate her value to Me.

Spend enough time browsing the sub board and you would find this to be true amongst most of the people there. It is the disappointment they fear most, not the pain. People seem to automatically assume that punishment has to involve force, and that it is that force that changes things. However every response there, was definately that sinking feeling you get from having displeased someone that gets 'em every time, even if they get a physical punishment or not..

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RE: soothing after punishment - 8/17/2006 11:06:50 AM

Tamerofwild1s

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when I needto punish a slave for her actions then I don't sooth directly afterwards . usually a punishment is finished with her in corner time pondering on what got her punished to begin with . once that is done she may come to me for communications .... I always make sure she understands that what she did was wrong but in no way ends our being together .. but a punishment to me does not require coddling afterwards .... now I do soothe after a session.

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RE: soothing after punishment - 8/18/2006 1:40:19 AM

BrokenDoll

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Honestly I could never be with a Dom that didnt cuddle me after discipline. I get very emotional and very insicure after a spanking Im a very emotional person very fragile and i need reashurance that everything is ok and I am forgiven... When I dont get that I go into a very bad emotional place that in the end is more harm then good, but then again Im not a slave Im more of a daddys girl so I dont know maybe that makes a difference when discipline comes in to play.... Does it?

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RE: soothing after punishment - 8/18/2006 8:11:37 AM

MrDiscipline44

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(fast reply)

Whether she's a slave, sub or bottom, I sooth after punishment because that shows forgiveness for their transgression. As I sooth her I also talk to her about what she did, why she was punished and how it made me feel as well as her. I think having her ponder what she did is good but it should be done before she's punished, not after. To do it after is just punishing her further by rejecting her. Peopl don't tend to learn from such things. They tend to grow resentful.

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RE: soothing after punishment - 8/18/2006 8:35:26 AM

onestandingstill

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

I guess I'm missing the point of this question. The answer, and what I'm about to say, seems so obvious. When punishment is over, the relationship still exists of course. So if she is in need of soothing, she's soothed. Is there any question here?

E

Yes, for me lots. My only ex Master not only did no aftercare of any kind behind punishments, but pretended nothing had transpired and I was expected to follow suit.
Thank God I was only punished twice.
My question would be how could a decient Master/Dom not be willing to console his charge?

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RE: soothing after punishment - 8/18/2006 10:30:58 AM

Slipstreme

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quote:

My question would be how could a decient Master/Dom not be willing to console his charge?

In my dynamic, we have to distinguish between punishment and play. After a play session, of course there's cuddling, unless I'm the bottom then I just prefer to be given something to drink, and left alone. In general, my slave and I are cuddle hounds. We're also furs. However, I play with her at about the same intensity as I had punished her. Although, yes I know the human mind is able to comprehend the difference between the scenes, it still seemed to merit a difference between the two acts.

I guess I am sort of using the same metod my parents used on me, punishment, then sent to my room to think about it, then sometimes, cuddled after So basically, there were no immediate cuddlings (although I was damnned tempted to. We were both in the same room still until both sides regained composure.), until we had a discussion about the why's involved, what had transpired. Then and only then were we back to our cuddly furry selves. I do know, however, that this method worked, better than it had worked with her other Master Ed (my sub) who incorporated punishment into play sessions then went back to being the cuddly, mostly vanilla guy he is. She never really felt like she had been punished really and seemed to need what I provided.

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Post #: 27

RE: soothing after punishment - 8/19/2006 12:38:54 AM

masterhyyde

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I feel it is important to soothe after punishment. However when that takes place I think would depend on what the punishment is for. But as it has already been noted in other posts, they need reassurance that the incident is over and you still care.

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RE: soothing after punishment - 8/19/2006 3:42:26 AM

mons

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greetings to all master and submissive and slaves

when i began to read this i was confuse even though i mayself a domme who does punish as well, but my confuse came with what would the person for whom you beating know what is wrong if you do not tell them? I read on where she was punish for something did she know of what was wrong? do you have a list of what not to touch. with my slave my things are when i gave him a time to call, or meeting somewhere. if he does not listen i do not beat i use the most effective thing i will not speak with him for days. this is know he want must is me to keep it from him is punish enough to make this man cry for me. i see beating him as a play part . and yes also i think making him ok after is best to show i am angryer at him. he also crys this i find sexy. all of you answer were great but now that i think of it you must tell the person the right and wrong of what you wish from them. i know this though, if i were a slave i would never vbe beaten it sound so horrible and your men so it must be a harder hit the i could gave what do you use to hit your person with, if this is ok to ask. no i could not handle it but i would for this one master who i adore yes wiht him oh yes. is this strange for a domme to fall for a master , anyone can answer this for me

thank you gentlemen and ladies

mons ( my writing is getting much better i am proud but humble of this )

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