Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Things that make you yawn


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Things that make you yawn Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Things that make you yawn - 8/14/2006 8:17:29 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		It seems that part of the fun is doing things someone likes or particularly doesn't like-because you get an emotional reaction one way or the other-but what about about those activities, scenes, types of play etc... that just leave you feeling nothing at all. It doesn't turn you on or excite you, but it doesn't have any negative connotation either.

From a Dom standpoint do you keep doing these things if they please you even if you know your sub/slave has NO reaction. Or does it just take the charge out of it to know she's completely neutral?

For subs how do you feel about doing these things? and do you try to get into it to please him more? Or are you hoping he'll eventually lose interest if you get nothing out of it?

I'm just curious. It seems in discussion after play the things I was completely neutral about seemed to disappoint him the most. If I liked it he had a big grin. If I didn't like it, he had an even bigger grin. But if I was neutral he seemed kind of discouraged.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Things that make you yawn - 8/14/2006 8:24:51 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout
From a Dom standpoint do you keep doing these things if they please you even if you know your sub/slave has NO reaction. Or does it just take the charge out of it to know she's completely neutral?
Unless I'm doing something he says he hates (though it isn't a hard limit), I expect my sub to participate and have some enthusiasm about serving me, because otherwise it does take the charge out of me, and I will lose interest in doing said thing.  
There is almost always a gracious way to be excused from doing something unpleasant but expected with me; yawning however, isn't the way, unless he wants to test my sadistic instincts.    M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Things that make you yawn - 8/14/2006 11:16:21 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

It seems that part of the fun is doing things someone likes or particularly doesn't like-because you get an emotional reaction one way or the other-but what about about those activities, scenes, types of play etc... that just leave you feeling nothing at all. It doesn't turn you on or excite you, but it doesn't have any negative connotation either.

For subs how do you feel about doing these things? and do you try to get into it to please him more? Or are you hoping he'll eventually lose interest if you get nothing out of it?



I've reached a point in my submission where I embrace them even if I don't find the task enjoyable. It is uncanny yet these are the very things that make me innately aware that I'm submitting. Doing the things I enjoy doesn't provide the same challenge that stretching and bending to another's will does. Even when the discussions broach areas I have once mentioned as limits or uninteresting, a small part of me is smiling within. I realize that the moments of discomfort are well worth the growth and pleasure I find in his eyes and smile.

porcelaine

< Message edited by porcelaine -- 8/14/2006 11:18:33 PM >

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Things that make you yawn - 8/14/2006 11:18:48 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		 My neutral may be someone else's exciting.

We all serve in our own ways.

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Things that make you yawn - 8/14/2006 11:24:13 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

I've reached a point in my submission where I embrace them even if I don't find the task enjoyable. It is uncanny yet these are the very things that make me innately aware that I'm submitting. Doing the things I enjoy doesn't provide the same challenge that stretching and bending to another's will does. Even when the discussions broach areas I have once mentioned as limits or uninteresting, a small part of me is smiling within. I realize that the moments of discomfort are well worth the growth and pleasure I find in his eyes and smile.



What she said.

Really, I have come to a place where if he enjoys it, I enjoy doing it for him.  I love his sounds of satisfaction, his look of enjoyment, the pleasure in his eye at knowing I have put my all into it just for him.  There is no yawn or ho hum.  I'm serious that I get a thrill out of being in the same room as him, so whatever he wants of me is a joy to produce.

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Things that make you yawn - 8/15/2006 2:43:41 AM   
LeatherBentOne


Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline 		TNstepsout,

Have you ever tried modifying the "ho-hum" and turning it into a "mmmmm?"

Sometimes by adding or taking away, the impact of a scene can be altered and there's nothing better than a scene that two instead of one can enjoy unless the turn on comes from your sadistic pleasure in knowing she hates it and her masochistic leanings beg for that release. 

Very often, whispered words speak the loudest, especially when she strains to hear your voice insisting that she belongs to you and you will use her as you see fit.  Add the element of ambush and feast on her reaction.  Have her lay out some toys 30 minutes to an hour ahead of scening and watch her mind run away with itself, then dont use any of them but bring in toys other than the one's you originally selected.  Or, have her go around the house room by room on collar and leash with you in the lead and place household items in a bag ~ hairbrush, wooden spoons, spatula, silk scarf, turkey baster ~ you got the idea.  Nothing will ever erase that first scene with my brand-spanking newbie sub from my mind when I said, "Now, the pizza cutter."  I heard a lil "Oh my," behind me and her voice raise a quivering octave "Yes Ma'am.  Thank you, Ma'am."  Then, followed by an very audible inhalation of air, then absolute silence followed by very heavy breathing.  It took all I had inside me not to bust out laughing with joy, but I somehow maintained  my desired and stern demeanor.

In short, being creative and thinking out of the box adds new dimensions to play that may change the "ho-hum" to a"mmmmmmmm" if that's what youre looking for. 

LeatherBentOne

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Things that make you yawn - 8/15/2006 4:31:57 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout


For subs how do you feel about doing these things? and do you try to get into it to please him more? Or are you hoping he'll eventually lose interest if you get nothing out of it?


For me there have been a few things i just did not have any interest in (like pony play) yet i've never had any trouble getting into the moment. I react to the person involved, if my body and brain recognize "Master" it does not really matter what we are doing i am in the moment simply because it is "Master".

Not saying i do not enjoy some things more than others only that for me being excited has never been an issue, there has never been a time as long as the head connection is there that i am not aroused and enjoying myself.

On the same note if it were some one i did not recognize as "Master" they could do things i loved and would get no reaction from me at all.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Things that make you yawn - 8/15/2006 5:00:44 AM   
MistressMaamNH


Posts: 211
Joined: 8/11/2004
Status: offline 		From My perspective as a Dominant, I listen to the interests of My submissive, likes and dislikes. 
Before they ever serve Me, when I am in the decision making process of if they are worthy and suitable to be Owned by Me, is when I determine if they have enough similar "likes" that I can use to mold to suit Mine. Then during a session, I will modify and shape what drives them, what excites them, to serve My needs and desires. 
Beyond that, it is understood that there will be times when I will engage in activities that simply don't spark their fire, or send them into deep subspace, but still will be done with enthusiasm on the basis of service and servitude to Please Me.  That is part of what being Owned by this Domina entails. 

MMNH


_____________________________

Let Me lay you softly, down onto the thorns...

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Things that make you yawn - 8/15/2006 5:32:43 AM   
sapphirepleasure


Posts: 411
Joined: 4/27/2006
From: Land of Enchantment
Status: offline 		When I encounter something that leaves me yawning (for example, being wrapped w/ saran & duct tape), I just take what I can from the experience, be thankful it wasn't totally horrible for me (like hot wax was), and then ask around to see what others find so exciting about it so maybe next time we can add some dimension that will make it interesting for me.  I think it was LA who suggested always trying something 3 times before deciding it's really not your cup of tea.

sp

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Things that make you yawn - 8/15/2006 5:37:12 AM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for the answers. I'm not sure if I got my point across in what I was asking. What I meant was not those things you don't like to do, but to which there is no charge, either negative or positive.

Let's say as an example, forced fem. If you dress a boy up and you are totally delighted, but he's not embarassed or uncomfortable, nor is he enjoying and having fun with it, what would your reaction be? If his only satisfaction in doing it was that he was doing it to please you? Would that be enough?

Which brings up another question. If asked afterward for your honest reaction to an activity what would you say? Would you tell him/her "I felt nothing"?

(in reply to MistressMaamNH)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Things that make you yawn - 8/15/2006 5:43:04 AM   
MistressMaamNH


Posts: 211
Joined: 8/11/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Which brings up another question. If asked afterward for your honest reaction to an activity what would you say? Would you tell him/her "I felt nothing"?

I tend to be fairly adept at reading My sub's reactions. I generally know if something was a "yea" "nay" or "take it or leave it" type of thing. However, I would certainly expect My sub to be direct, honest, and frank with Me whenever I ask them something.  To not be completely forthcoming is a disrespect to Me as their Owner and Dominant. How else can I best use them to the best of their's and My abilities, if I don't have all the pertinent information.

MMNH


_____________________________

Let Me lay you softly, down onto the thorns...

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Things that make you yawn - 8/15/2006 6:38:02 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout
From a Dom standpoint do you keep doing these things if they please you even if you know your sub/slave has NO reaction. Or does it just take the charge out of it to know she's completely neutral?

Since I feed off of the energy connection, if it's not taking us where we want to go, then I don't get into it.  I can always find another partner if I need it.
quote:


For subs how do you feel about doing these things? and do you try to get into it to please him more? Or are you hoping he'll eventually lose interest if you get nothing out of it?

Most subs will try and get into something to make the dom happy.  Sadly this goes to the extreme of trying things that do not suit them at all- like poly or swinging and such, and end up ultimately killing the relationship. 

I wouldn't HOPE he would lose interest, that's a bit deceitful and not productive.  I'd certainly make sure to communicate where I was and make sure I knew what would be expected in the future.
quote:


I'm just curious. It seems in discussion after play the things I was completely neutral about seemed to disappoint him the most. If I liked it he had a big grin. If I didn't like it, he had an even bigger grin. But if I was neutral he seemed kind of discouraged.

Eh tough shit.  He should be a big boy and realize that he decided he wanted to work with a human with its own set of reactions- he can either train you into new ones or not, but to get disappointed over what's there is useless and just makes everyone feel bad.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Things that make you yawn - 8/15/2006 7:15:29 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

It seems that part of the fun is doing things someone likes or particularly doesn't like-because you get an emotional reaction one way or the other-but what about about those activities, scenes, types of play etc... that just leave you feeling nothing at all. It doesn't turn you on or excite you, but it doesn't have any negative connotation either.

From a Dom standpoint do you keep doing these things if they please you even if you know your sub/slave has NO reaction. Or does it just take the charge out of it to know she's completely neutral?


If a submissive is completely neutral to something I am doing, I take note and I would discuss it with them after play.  I know that, despite the fact that submissives are 'toys' sometimes, they are also humans allllllllllll the time.  I would hope to discover through conversation why this elicited absolutely no response from her.  I would also discuss my feelings about what I was doing, whether my enjoyment of it was immense or mild.  Keeping it in the repertoire despite her feelings would depend on how I felt about it.  If I knew that the activity was most likely never going to elicit a reaction from her other than acceptance to please me, then I would have to make a decision as to whether or not to drop it, keep on doing it in a different scenarior to try and elicit a reaction or...if important enough to me to elicit a reaction...discuss doing it with another.

quote:

For subs how do you feel about doing these things? and do you try to get into it to please him more? Or are you hoping he'll eventually lose interest if you get nothing out of it?

I'm just curious. It seems in discussion after play the things I was completely neutral about seemed to disappoint him the most. If I liked it he had a big grin. If I didn't like it, he had an even bigger grin. But if I was neutral he seemed kind of discouraged.


I feel differently than LA about this.  I don't know that I'd feel discouraged; I'd be more likely to be disappointed that some new activity I had introduced had zilch for effect.  But whether or not I felt discouragement or disappointment, I would not expect the submissive to respond to my feelings with an attitude of  "tough shit".    I'd expect her to understand or at least respect my feelings, even if she did not necessarily share or agree with them, and especially with her knowing that my being disappointed or discouraged does not mean she has to fake feelings of loving/hating something.

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Things that make you yawn - 8/15/2006 7:17:25 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
I feel differently than LA about this.  I don't know that I'd feel discouraged; I'd be more likely to be disappointed that some new activity I had introduced had zilch for effect.  But whether or not I felt discouragement or disappointment, I would not expect the submissive to respond to my feelings with an attitude of  "tough shit".   

Sorry for the confusion- the tough shit is for the dom who thinks that just because he's doing something to the sub that the sub should always immediately adore and react positively to it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Things that make you yawn - 8/15/2006 7:23:58 AM   
JessieMe


Posts: 510
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		One of the things about dominants (and many submissives too) is that they are at heart "reaction junkies"..No matter whether its pleasure or pain, they want to know that they are stimulating (or being stimulated to) a response of some sort. However, for instance, perhaps "being wrapped" in saran wrap is a neutral activity or for that matter any type of bondage...You may not respond to the actual activity during the process, but leave it there for a bit...you are eventually going to get some reaction to it. Perhaps being patient is the keyword and giving the reaction time to happen is what is needed. (?)

Just my opinion..your mileage may vary.

_____________________________

This is who I am
And this is all I know.
That I must choose to live for all that I can give
The spark that makes the Power grow
<Immortality by Celine Dion>

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Things that make you yawn - 8/15/2006 7:37:10 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		I am a reaction junkie and yep, a lot of the play I indulge in with any particular girl tends to be what gets an interesting rection from her.

However (You just knew that was comming didn't you) a girl of mine is, by nature, looking to make ME happy. If we where doing something *I* enjoyed and there wasn't at least some responce from her enjoying the fact that *I* was enjoying it... I'd see that as a possible sign that the dynamic between us had a problem.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Things that make you yawn - 8/15/2006 7:39:14 AM   
JessieMe


Posts: 510
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

However (You just knew that was comming didn't you) a girl of mine is, by nature, looking to make ME happy. If we where doing something *I* enjoyed and there wasn't at least some responce from her enjoying the fact that *I* was enjoying it... I'd see that as a possible sign that the dynamic between us had a problem.



This is why we all love you <grins>

_____________________________

This is who I am
And this is all I know.
That I must choose to live for all that I can give
The spark that makes the Power grow
<Immortality by Celine Dion>

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Things that make you yawn - 8/15/2006 8:54:50 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout
Which brings up another question. If asked afterward for your honest reaction to an activity what would you say? Would you tell him/her "I felt nothing"?

Absolutely.  To say otherwise would be dishonest, and how would he know me as well as he does if I gave him false information about myself?  I might more likely say, "It is not something I would wish to do on my own, but I know it made you happy and that was where my joy came from.  But for me personally, I could take it or leave it."

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Things that make you yawn - 8/15/2006 9:00:18 AM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		Things that make me yawn? hmmmmmmm. i would have to say that anything to do with the news, sports or those stupid "Man Show" type things on TV. are men REALLY that narrow-minded?

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Things that make you yawn - 8/15/2006 10:48:36 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		My general rule is: I'll do it if I enjoy it or have a neutral reaction to it.

I figure as a dom it is partly my job to help my partner feel fulfilled and happy, so, to use a real-life example, Fox is really into bondage, I'm more interested in practical bondage. So we do mummifications and rope bondage because he loves it. I'll do of it for purely practical reasons and some for artistic. But it doesn't innately turn me on.

Now for the other side, if someone is my slave my general rule is a bit different for what I expect from him/her: do it unless it is a hard limit.

Is that fair? Is the question of fairness really appropriate to slave-owner relationships?

I think that once roles are decided upon they need to be respected and maintained unless they cause harm or damage. In that since, everything else that flows from the agreed upon dynamic is fair to those people even if it does not seem so to outsiders.

For both though, yes, you can tell when someone isn't as into something as you and it does feel much different than that same activity with someone else. Only the individual can determine if what they get is good, bad, or something different.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Things that make you yawn Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094