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questions about eye contact - 12/26/2004 8:50:14 PM   
realophelia


Posts: 168
Status: offline 		Eye contact is something that is very important to me when playing. My Master allows me to look at him whenever I want, and it means a lot to me to be able to see his expressions during the course of our play. It helps me feel connected to him, as well as grounded. Often I will remember a certain look long after the scene is over.

I’m curious if others find eye contact to be such an essential part of play? Do those who have eye contact restrictions have other ways of connecting (touch, smell, sound)? Do those who use blindfolds find there are certain situations where not being able to see is an advantage?

I was also wondering how other Doms handle eye contact? And why it is sometimes restricted (punishment, personal preference etc.)?

Yours truly,
Ophelia


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"And every one of them words rang true And glowed like burning coal Pouring off of every page Like it was written in my soul..."
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RE: questions about eye contact - 12/26/2004 11:02:54 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

Do those who use blindfolds find there are certain situations where not being able to see is an advantage?


I like a blindfold at times, the anticipation of the unknown is very arousing for me.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


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RE: questions about eye contact - 12/27/2004 5:54:32 AM   
leatherslave2004


Posts: 4
Joined: 12/25/2004
Status: offline 		My Master restricts my eye contact for a few reasons, but first let me say, it is hard for me to face Him and look Him in the eyes. It is considered disrespectful, but more than that, it feels disrespectful. It is also considered a challenge. When the slave does look him in the eyes, it doesn't last long and her own feelings force her to look away. If at times, He wants her eye contact He commands her to look, this can be very difficult for her, sometimes, He must even force her to look. She does not maintain the look for any real length of time.
Hope this helps,
leatherslave2004

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RE: questions about eye contact - 12/27/2004 7:03:24 AM   
srahfox


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline 		I personally find it very hard to look in my Masters eyes. Our relationship was a vanilla one for 8 years before we started on this journey. For me looking into his eyes reminds me of my husband. While they are the same person, it's harder for me to think of Him that way. The only time he makes me look in his eyes is when I have done something wrong, or he wants me to see how serious He is.

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RE: questions about eye contact - 12/27/2004 7:04:13 AM   
velvetvixen


Posts: 378
Joined: 1/19/2004
Status: offline 		I am not allowed to look away. Master insists on direct eye contact. To Master, looking away signals that I am not paying close attention or that I am ignoring Him.

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RE: questions about eye contact - 12/27/2004 8:28:09 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		Don't they say "The eyes are the windows to the soul"? So for me eye contact is a big turn on as it seems to enhance intimacy and sense of control. But I also like variety, so blindfolds are fun for the element of surprise as Proud notes and also cut off the sense of sight to focus on other things. Then sometimes no eye contact is fun too if I want her to have an fuckmeat object kind of mindset.

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RE: questions about eye contact - 12/27/2004 1:01:24 PM   
RealityFix


Posts: 156
Joined: 8/12/2004
Status: offline 		In a primal sense, eye contact between animals is often considered a challenge. It usually means you are sizing up an opponent for a take down.

Humans take this to a higher order, but some limit this contact as a sign of defference to authority.

As in all things,to each thier own manner.

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RE: questions about eye contact - 12/27/2004 1:44:47 PM   
ropeadventures


Posts: 15
Joined: 12/6/2004
From: England
Status: offline
Intense eye contact leads to more intensity... Blindfolds have there time and place and if someone is being flogged, eye contact can be difficult - unless yo have a mirror!

I definately prefer eye contact. One suffering set of eyes staring into a hard, interested, aroused set of eyes... It makes a good , intermate connection between two people

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RE: questions about eye contact - 12/27/2004 3:49:55 PM   
Tristan


Posts: 330
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline 		I love eye contact. It lets me know exactly what my sub is thinking and feeling, and that leads to an intense emotional connection. I never find direct eye contact to be a challenge to my authority or dominance.

Blindfolds are also fun and can also lead to an intense emotional connection in a different way. I will often blindfold my sub and alternate the caress and the whip or crop while I her watch on her every movement. She says her lack of sight intensifies her experience. Her movement and sounds are another way that lets me know exactly what she is thinking and feeling.

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RE: questions about eye contact - 12/27/2004 3:55:43 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		For Doug and I, he insists on eye contact. He likes to see how I am reacting to certain sensations. My eyes tell him before my body does.
It is dis-respectful not to look at him in the eyes. We do not feel I am any lower than him because of my orientation.
Of course, just the way we do things.

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RE: questions about eye contact - 12/27/2004 9:13:20 PM   
CropNY


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Very interesting replies!

I too do not feel my slave's gaze into my eyes is in anyway a challenge or afront to my role as lord and master. On the contrary, I enjoy it, as it shows me her eagerness to please me and her search for signs of my enjoyment of her service and use.

This is not to say that occasional reversal of the rules would not be enjoyable. Though I have not tired it yet, I think I would be amused by commanding my girl to cast her eyes down as a sign of subservience on occasion.



< Message edited by CropNY -- 12/27/2004 9:14:27 PM >

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RE: questions about eye contact - 12/30/2004 12:55:43 PM   
Sweeticing


Posts: 164
Joined: 12/30/2004
Status: offline 		One type of people I know that often restricts eye contact is people who are in the military. Not hard to put the two together as to why they are like that.
Because you dont get that connection it can seem like a punishment OR if you are a shy submission meeting for the first time it can seem like a blessing.
Now as a Domme on a personal level I do not allow much eye contact I want the submission with the head down on your knees type thing. I think you get a little more control like that.

(in reply to realophelia)
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RE: questions about eye contact - 12/30/2004 5:26:32 PM   
realophelia


Posts: 168
Status: offline 		I just wanted to thank everyone who has responded so far (and anyone yet to respond). This is the first time I have started a thread so it was really nice to get such a good response :)

It seems to me that while people may chose to handle eye contact differently, just about everyone agrees that it is a very powerful thing. Which is how it has always seemed to me.

Thanks again,
Ophelia

_____________________________

"And every one of them words rang true And glowed like burning coal Pouring off of every page Like it was written in my soul..."

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RE: questions about eye contact - 12/31/2004 1:03:26 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		Eye contact is at the heart and soul of dominating another.... The instant your sub's eyes "falter", you know the dynamic has begun. Where to look is one of the first things I teach my girl as it varies for other Dom/mes....

It's difficult for many sub/slaves to hold the gaze of their Master but since I am her Master and owner, all the more reason she is to look me in the eyes at appropriate times. When actively dominating her, she has the choice of either looking straight in my eyes or straight down at her feet. Anywhere else but esp looking beyond me ie slightly left or right of my eyes, will bring a sharp reminder of her station.

When instructing her and when she answers me or is permitted to ask questions herself, I insist on direct eye contact. When I specifically tell her to look at me, I mean instantly and straight in my eyes. When I'm finished instructing and satisfied with her responses, I usually say something like "OK" and that's her signal to relax and to look down until next I speak.... To hold my gaze beyond that signal is something I sometimes find disrespectful, depending on my mood, but a simple "Yes?" tends to fix that....

Defiance and disrespect are a completely different look and easily recognised as there's usually the body language to match....

Focus50.

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RE: questions about eye contact - 1/1/2005 12:08:28 AM   
Nvernilla


Posts: 303
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline 		Well the eyecontact is one of the things that define the Alpha/beta roles. Some of my Native American friends never allow their woman to sit in a way where her head is elevated higher from the floor than his is. If you use gags much eye contact is often an important form of communication though. Its all in a state of flux and rightfully so I feel, everyone has their own taste or need. Enjoy...Mike

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RE: questions about eye contact - 1/1/2005 12:38:14 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		Great topic to bring up. I've never put much thought into it myself. However I've always enjoyed eye contact myself. It's a part of reading body language and generaly earns trust in a relationship. In role play situations I may act as a Drill Sergent giving orders of "Head and Eyes forward! What? Why are you looking at me, I didn't say look at me!" but for normal setings I like looking ppl in the eye for conversation and usually sex as well. Other than that I love giving dirty looks and the evil eye from time to time

My oh my how you konw you have a sub/slave trained when all you have to do is make an eye jesture for them to know what you want

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RE: questions about eye contact - 1/2/2005 1:44:50 AM   
domtimothy46176


Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline 		I don't restrict my submissive from making eye contact. To the contrary, I actively encourage it and sometimes demand it. I've found there are times when she tries to avoid looking me in the eye because she feels like I suck her in with my eyes.

This is especially true when she is feeling rebellious, lol. Given her choice, she would look anywhere but at me. If I force her to meet my gaze, she loses her ability to rebel. While there are times when she seeks out my assistance in order to regain her submissive center, she also has moods where she wants to relish her rebellion and hates it that I can take it away with a look.

When I make her maintain eye contact during sex, the effect is profound. It seems to take the sex to an entirely new level of intimacy and she reports that her orgasms are even more intense. As for myself, it becomes an incredible rush as I can feel her submission flowing out her in almost palpable waves. In those moments she is completely and utterly mine and the evidence is in her eyes.

Are the eyes the "windows of the soul"? For my money, they're close enough for me. I love looking into her eyes and knowing the effect it has on her.

be well,
Timothy

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
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RE: questions about eye contact - 1/4/2005 1:33:30 PM   
Elektra


Posts: 6
Joined: 10/28/2004
From: far away from home
Status: offline 		I often don't want eye contact.It can be difficult to be made looking into the eyes.

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: questions about eye contact - 1/4/2005 3:06:32 PM   
SirTyson


Posts: 126
Joined: 12/8/2004
From: Chicago, Il
Status: offline 		I prefer to have my sub always maintain eye contact. There are so many things a look can give. It can show her that Im disappointed with her, upset with her, or happy with her and pleased by what she is doing. Giving her a certain look when she's not doing something correctly or something that she shouldn't be doing while we're in public will let her know that. By looking into my eyes while we're having a session it also makes her feel safe, secure with me, and loved and that is a big thing to me, her safety!!

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RE: questions about eye contact - 1/4/2005 3:31:44 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		I have always had problems whit looking pepole right int he eye. I find myself looking away usualy.

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