I think I need a refresher course

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I think I need a refresher course - 8/17/2006 10:35:15 AM

angelbebe

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/14/2006
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Been in the lifestyle for many years. Over 15. Been lucky enough to have few long term relationships. But here I am again, out in the world. Searching for Master " Right". New location, new nick. Here we go. I think I forgot about this safety thing. Someone set me straight? I met a Dom on line, we chatted, he told me he didn't want a pic, I thought that was kinda sexy for a bit. He also would not send one. He seems like a nice guy. He sent me his phone number and told me to call. I did. I had an emergency ( my kid and a bike.. long story but she is well) I had to get off the phone. I emailed him today explaining. I also sent a pic. I wanted him to see who he is talking to. Apparently that offended him. I didn' t send one the other day when he said he wanted to get to know me first. Well, I felt that now he had gotten to know me more. I do not know his real name, I have a phone number but I am not sure what it is really to. ( yes, I ran searchbug and anywho..) He wants to know my cross streets where I live. He asked me things that I have already answered which makes me think he isn't saving my messages or isn't paying attention? I dunno.
Ok, I need that SSC rule screamed at me, cause I don't know his name...address, nuthin' I don't want to give anymore information....
Ok, I am not a kid here, I am over 40 years old. Someone tell me that doesn't matter!! I feel that though he says he has been in the lifestyle for a long time, I need to set some ground rules for ME.
Opinions?
Thanks!!! HUGS ALL...

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RE: I think I need a refresher course - 8/17/2006 10:40:55 AM

Tamerofwild1s

Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
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OK here you go .. do NOT give that man any more information .... specially when it comes to where you are ... bad enough he might have your number now thanks to the invention of caller ID. no matter how many years you have in this lifestyle please always remain safe . at all costs .... even if you have known him a few months or years .. safety first.

if he is asking things you already answered it could be a prank of some kind or just a real weirdo .. most messengers have logs . if I forget something on a slave I speak to I can walk back and check my logs of conversations with her .. sometimes I do this just to see if she has had anything that doesn't sit right with me.

DO NOT give him anything more that he can use to possibly harm you

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A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

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RE: I think I need a refresher course - 8/17/2006 10:42:42 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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read what I posted in general about the doll.............

then, when you are ready, come to my house and we will spend a quiet evening at home, alone --- and just talk ---

That is pretty much enough to set your thinking on the right track.....

Trust but verify!!!!

PVCDaddy

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: I think I need a refresher course - 8/17/2006 10:47:44 AM

michaelGA2

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

since i've never had a course in the first place...do i need a fresher course?

LOL

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RE: I think I need a refresher course - 8/17/2006 10:49:06 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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You're right, you do need to set ground rules for yourself.

Mainly that, if at the stage of chatting casually with someone online, and they do something stupid- you give them one chance to explain themelves. If you find the explanation logical and satifactory, you continue. If you don't, then you end it there.

You don't necessarily have to be that extreme, but really, how many obvious "dork signs" are you going to need?

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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RE: I think I need a refresher course - 8/17/2006 11:23:51 AM

angelbebe

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/14/2006
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Thank you. Something just seemed as though I should take a deep breath and exhale before moving any further. This person has my number, but I used my cell to call him back. Yes, I am glad there isn't a reverse look up on cell numbers..Yet!
He may be just fine... I just don't wanna make mistakes.. no matter how many years of experience.. we still run with our emotions.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: I think I need a refresher course - 8/17/2006 12:17:28 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelbebe

Here we go. I think I forgot about this safety thing. Someone set me straight? Ok, I need that SSC rule screamed at me, cause I don't know his name...address, nuthin' I don't want to give anymore information.... I feel that though he says he has been in the lifestyle for a long time, I need to set some ground rules for ME. Opinions?

I don't believe this has anything to do with SSC, RACK, or any other scene related acronym. It is merely the application of common sense and some much needed boundaries for you. I use a very simple rule that keeps me grounded and reduces the number of discussions of the nature you've encountered. The next time you feel compelled to share random bits of personal information about yourself, ask would you be willing to do the same with a perfect stranger that you met face to face? I have seen on many occasions that people are comfortable affording tremendous levels of trust to nameless faceless individuals in a virtual environment but wouldn't dare do the same real time. If you find a discrepancy in your answer consider this a warning that you should put some parameters in place for your own protection and peace of mind too.

Having a picture doesn't mean it is really that individual. The same applies with a phone number with the advent of broadband voip service. I wouldn't hinge anything on the webcam either. Streaming media exists and just in case you have one or are tempted to purchase one. Please be advised the contents can be recorded against your knowledge via instant messenger. I say these things to remind you to be safe, but also to point out that the person on the other end of the screen is only as real as we allow them to be and as honest as they decide.

Best of luck to you.

porcelaine

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His will; my fate.

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RE: I think I need a refresher course - 8/17/2006 12:39:35 PM

Voltare

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

angelbebe,

Having had my share of lumps online, I'll offer a few bits of refreshment:

First, the guy you're talking to. The fact that you're feeling more then a little cautious (enough to post the question asking about him) tells me he's probably a dud. The not asking for pictures thing is important, but like it or not, if you want something real life with anyone from the internet, you're going to have to know what he looks like. You wouldn't think twice about someone wanting to know what you look like if you met him at a bar or coffee shop, why should it matter on the net? Pictures matter. Anyone who says otherwise is selling you something. Beyond that, the asking about your 'specific' location, when you don't know his real name, isn't right. If I were a woman, I wouldn't give my address out until I had met the guy in public already. He's not a cable TV repairman, he's a potential Dominant. Most importantly, I wouldn't worry about him knowing your number or any other info you've given him - internet predators typically need a really good reason to chase someone in real life, something beyond a passing interest online. That he cant remember general details about you, suggest that he's probably talking to several other women as well, and just can't keep them straight.

Second, as for meeting people in general, there's simply a question of building trust. If you can't trust the people you are talking to online, then you simply can't meet them. That works both ways. If you can't trust a person to send your photo, or he can't trust you to send his, then face it - you're probably never going to actually meet real time, and that's that. It isn't a question of playing beauty queen, or cyber sex crap, it's simply an issue of getting to know the person. Telling someone the name of the town you're from is usually safe (that kind of information can be extracted just from an email, after all). Same with general information about yourself; name, age, type of work you do, number of kids, interests, hobbies, etc etc - after all, these are the basic elements of who we are, and are absolutely vital to any type of relationship. You don't have to tell him (at first anyway) the actual company, your work number, your street address, your last name, your kids names, or anything else that you don't feel 100% comfy telling. The truth is, time will show that the person is actually someone you should or shouldn't trust. Above all, just try to make friends first. Leave the romance out of the chat until you feel like you really have a good idea of who the guy really is.

Hope that helps.

Stephan

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RE: I think I need a refresher course - 8/17/2006 12:58:05 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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DUDE!!!!

I ain't seen you since the last Ragnarok!!! Are you privvy to some cataclysmic event I am unaware of?

How you been? What in the Javely hell have you been up to?

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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