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HarryVanWinkle -> RE: My lover is a sub (8/19/2006 1:53:31 PM)
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You've gotten lots of references to good books and I'd recommend reading as many of them as you can. But, while you can learn a lot about safety and techniques from books, you can't learn what will work for you and for the specific guy you're talking about. Only open and honest communication can do that.
I would recommend that the most important thing you can do is talk, talk and talk some more. Ask him about his fantasies and experiences. Try not to be judgemental, if some of his fantasies seem pretty far out to you, file them away for now for further thought. Concentrate, for now, on the things you both like. And keep talking.
I would also HIGHLY recommend that you involve yourselves in the local BDSM community. One thing that I've noticed in my time on line is that there are a LOT of very kinky people in North Carolina. There must be more than a few good, real time, organizations. There you can meet and make friends with people with similar kinks, people with different kinks, and people with real life experience. Most real life BDSM people I know just love to teach. Go with an open mind, ready to learn. As you make friends in the community, ask those who seem the wisest to you to mentor you.
But, beware of "Experts" and those who know everything.
A good place to start looking for local groups would be right here.
http://www.drkdesyre.com/meetppl/orgs/orgsnorth.html
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