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Punishment ideas - 8/18/2006 8:03:05 PM   
masterhyyde


Posts: 57
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Manhattan
Status: offline 		My slave has committed a very defiant act and I am at a loss for what type of punishment to use to help remedy the situation.  She against my will and without my permission has slept with another man.  And I am somewhat out of ideas.  Any ideas/advice would be appreciated.
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RE: Punishment ideas - 8/18/2006 8:05:13 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		No offense....but I'd have to say that your problem is WAAAAYYYY beyond what punishment will fix.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to masterhyyde)
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RE: Punishment ideas - 8/18/2006 8:07:50 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterhyyde

My slave has committed a very defiant act and I am at a loss for what type of punishment to use to help remedy the situation.  She against my will and without my permission has slept with another man.  And I am somewhat out of ideas.  Any ideas/advice would be appreciated.

Dismissal springs immediately to mind.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to masterhyyde)
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RE: Punishment ideas - 8/18/2006 8:09:00 PM   
masterhyyde


Posts: 57
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Manhattan
Status: offline 		very possibly true but I have years invested in her.  And it's the only time she has done it.  And she did tell me on her on free will.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Punishment ideas - 8/18/2006 8:09:39 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Dismissal. Cheating is not an act that you punish for and then sweep under the rug.  Thats inexcusable and there is almost no way you can get the trust back from that. Thats beyond defiant.

** added after reading the reply:
Youve got years invested in her, which means she has them in yuo as well... and that didnt seem to stop her... So why should those years mean more to you keeping her than they do to her behaving properly?

DV

< Message edited by DiurnalVampire -- 8/18/2006 8:11:14 PM >

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to stef)
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RE: Punishment ideas - 8/18/2006 8:13:31 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterhyyde
very possibly true but I have years invested in her. 


That's irrelevant. I had 11 years invested in my ex when I left him too. I know it sounds jaded but I can tell you that you will never fully trust her again.....no matter how much you want to or say you do.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to masterhyyde)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Punishment ideas - 8/18/2006 8:13:43 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		What were the circumstances?  How long have you been together?  Does she regret what she did?  Do you each want to work through it? 

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Punishment ideas - 8/18/2006 8:17:15 PM   
MASTERHAWG


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/3/2005
Status: offline 		90 days in a cage with limited human contact oughta get its attention.
Then you can discuss your futures together.

(in reply to masterhyyde)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Punishment ideas - 8/18/2006 8:19:22 PM   
BrokenDoll


Posts: 106
Joined: 8/15/2006
Status: offline 		With all the resepct on the world ment when I say this and please if this sounds disrepectfull tell me cuz I dont mean to be. Ok if she cheated that s a deal breaker in any relationship Dom sub S m D s venilla any relationship. Grown adults dont get punished for cheating exept the ramifications of the relationship falling apart. Even if she came to you of her free will it was still dishonest and well how do you really know she has never done it befor.Maybe just this time she felt she would get caught so came clean befor you found out on your own I know im stretching Im just saying why dont you deserve better then a cheater. I dont know you but I like to think that no one deserves to be cheated on.

_____________________________

Please take care of your toys treat them with Love and respect, For broken toys are no fun at all!

-doll-

(in reply to marieToo)
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RE: Punishment ideas - 8/18/2006 8:19:38 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterhyyde

very possibly true but I have years invested in her.  And it's the only time she has done it.  And she did tell me on her on free will.

How do you know it's the only time she's done it?  Because she told you it was?

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to masterhyyde)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Punishment ideas - 8/18/2006 8:25:45 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I wouldn't touch this situation with a 10 foot advice pole. I have no idea of your specific situation, so it would be impossible to suggest anything about it. I know I wouldn't dump someone I had in my life for many years because strangers on a message board told me to. There are many situations in which infidelity has been worked through with the result being a stronger relationship.. it depends on the people involved in the situation and whether there is something worth saving there. No one can make that decision but you. I would echo this though, I do not see a way to punish out of this one. I would say that perhaps the Ms or Ds dynamic may need to be suspended until you decide if you want to rectify this, it seems a serious enough situation to perhaps do this until both decide if it can be worked out.

The human heart has an amazing capacity for not only love, but forgiveness. I have seen this forgiveness with people close to me, it happened 8 years into their marriage, and they have been married for over 20 years now. It can be worked through, but it isn't easy, and some of the most important and valuable things we do in this world are not easy.. good luck

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to masterhyyde)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Punishment ideas - 8/18/2006 8:25:48 PM   
DesertRat


Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline 		Keeping it off the boards and dealing with it privately seems like a good idea. I hope it works out well.

Bob

< Message edited by DesertRat -- 8/18/2006 8:31:26 PM >

_____________________________

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro--Hunter S. Thompson
It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide!--Chief Dead St. Knockout, 1933, Liverpool
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(in reply to masterhyyde)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Punishment ideas - 8/18/2006 8:27:02 PM   
masterhyyde


Posts: 57
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Manhattan
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

What were the circumstances?  How long have you been together?  Does she regret what she did?  Do you each want to work through it? 



well we had a rather large falling out/off of sorts and she left my house. (she is not back in the house atm) The falling out was my fault d/t me behaving irrational after drinking too much one night.  And this action with the other man transpired after that.  She said that she didn't know that she was not suppose to be with others.  She didn't seem to understand the concept that even though we fought she was not dismissed.  She does seem to regret what she did.  And yes we do each want to work through it.  We have been together 3 yrs.  Which is not a large amount of time but other than this she is a very good girl.

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Punishment ideas - 8/18/2006 8:31:11 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Ok...you got drunk and acted a fool....she left and slept with another man....you've been together three years....but she didn't know she wasn't supposed to be with someone else???.....now you are looking for a punishment that will fix it all.

My first response stands....even firmer now. Your problems are WAAAYYY beyond what punishment can fix.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to masterhyyde)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Punishment ideas - 8/18/2006 8:32:12 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear masterhyyde, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
In today's world, individuals have more avenues and opportunities to cheat.  If it has become a habit, it really can be a health risk--STDs are popping up all over the place, even in 60 year olds and so is HIV.
 
There might be many reasons to cheat, to be defiant-- Being revenge, I would release her pronto.  Frustration because the dominant has failed to communicate and "listen" is another matter entirely.  Could it be something else.  Only you both know.  But, that said--I would be careful if you cheated on her, she did the same because she is mad about it; is just tit-for-tat behavior.  So, if you have maintained excellent examples of behavior and that the slave has gone rogue, it is time to dismiss her.
 
There might be the case of making you so angry, as to manipulate or force you into sadism.  Best punishment for a masochist is to ignore them and don't touch them.
 
Every slave has a currency--what is valuable to them.  To take it away is punishment.
 
In my mind's eye--there is much more that happened before the episode of defiance.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 
 

(in reply to masterhyyde)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Punishment ideas - 8/18/2006 8:34:18 PM   
masterhyyde


Posts: 57
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Manhattan
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Ok...you got drunk and acted a fool....she left and slept with another man....you've been together three years....but she didn't know she wasn't supposed to be with someone else??


uh..Sadly that just about sums it up.  But she felt the m/s relationship was terminated when she left.  I feel however it was not.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Punishment ideas - 8/18/2006 8:42:18 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear masterhyyde,
 
I see you now have posted what lead up to the incident of laying with another man.
 
For one, a dominant needs to get and keep their 'act together.'  And, the dominant is responsible for behaving at all times above the board and with a rational mind and spirit. 
 
A after the fact 'oh by the way' rule; such as she did not know that she wasn't free to lay with other men and such, apparently was not clear, understood and acknowledged before the fact and or long prior to the incident.  It would be like closing the barn door after the critters escaped the barn.  All you have is an empty barn.  Dominants who are serious, responsible and have good goals in mind, never lets the rules of 'assumption' rule the house or relationship.
 
Seems both of you need to go back to the very beginning.  I would certainly agree to any slave escaping an irrational drunk no matter what, as that is scary and promotes fear.  She has to talk to the alcohol--not her master.  Primary rule of a slave, is to protect themselves--even from the master.  But, right now--communication seems the paramount order of business for you both.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 
 
 
 

(in reply to masterhyyde)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Punishment ideas - 8/18/2006 8:49:40 PM   
BrokenDoll


Posts: 106
Joined: 8/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterhyyde

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

What were the circumstances?  How long have you been together?  Does she regret what she did?  Do you each want to work through it? 





well we had a rather large falling out/off of sorts and she left my house. (she is not back in the house atm) The falling out was my fault d/t me behaving irrational after drinking too much one night.  And this action with the other man transpired after that.  She said that she didn't know that she was not suppose to be with others.  She didn't seem to understand the concept that even though we fought she was not dismissed.  She does seem to regret what she did.  And yes we do each want to work through it.  We have been together 3 yrs.  Which is not a large amount of time but other than this she is a very good girl.



Honestly Sir if this is the case then in my opinion there should be no punishment. You both acted wrong you both acted badly you did something wrong and it confused your girl you need to take your responsability in this and work this out as 2 people in a relationship not nessiseraly as Master and slave as you have both messed up as HUMANS and it should be treated as such in my opinion... also this isnt a matter for the boards it isnt right for us to be handing out punishment aspecialy were it isnt due... your op made it seem like she had defiently cheeted on you while your last post made it seem much different!! Sorry if I seemed disrespectfull that was not my intent!

_____________________________

Please take care of your toys treat them with Love and respect, For broken toys are no fun at all!

-doll-

(in reply to masterhyyde)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Punishment ideas - 8/18/2006 8:52:33 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterhyyde

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

What were the circumstances?  How long have you been together?  Does she regret what she did?  Do you each want to work through it? 



well we had a rather large falling out/off of sorts and she left my house. (she is not back in the house atm) The falling out was my fault d/t me behaving irrational after drinking too much one night.  And this action with the other man transpired after that.  She said that she didn't know that she was not suppose to be with others.  She didn't seem to understand the concept that even though we fought she was not dismissed.  She does seem to regret what she did.  And yes we do each want to work through it.  We have been together 3 yrs.  Which is not a large amount of time but other than this she is a very good girl.



The last part of your statement sounds like there may be enough mutual interest in saving the relationship to consider putting in some effort and trying to work things out. In the long run, if it doesnt work out, at least you will go away feeling like you gave it every chance and effort humanly possible.  I wish you both the best, whatever you decide.

(in reply to masterhyyde)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Punishment ideas - 8/18/2006 8:54:45 PM   
BrokenDoll


Posts: 106
Joined: 8/15/2006
Status: offline 		You shouldnt be seeking how to punish her while it seems that you are as much as at foult for this is as she... Im sorry this just sounds very wrong to me being a Master does not obsolve you from foult, how is it right you seek punishment for her when  your actions are what caused all this mess in the first place.. please Sir take your responsability in this and work on future comunication forget the punishment idea in my opinion it isnt aplicable to this situation I dont know how to word this and Im very frustrated I dont want to speak out of turn or disrespectfully but I cant unjumble the words in my head enough so Im gunna end this here even if it seems to be an incomplete thought

_____________________________

Please take care of your toys treat them with Love and respect, For broken toys are no fun at all!

-doll-

(in reply to BrokenDoll)
Profile   Post #: 20
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