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Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/19/2006 6:31:47 PM

WifeBoyWannabee

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What would a good introductory letter to a domme be like?

How do I show my own creativity, without sounding anti-authoritarian?

What are the dommes major turn-off from emails?

Thank You

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/19/2006 6:38:10 PM

MzMinx

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Joined: 12/26/2005
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pleasent, charming, appropriate and not to long, but not a one liner
hmmmm let me see .....

Dont repeat what is in your profile... I can read for myself

Do make appropriate comments about things you have read in my profile or read on the boards

Make sure you follow any sugestions that are in my profile

Share something that makes you think we have something in common

Share things that show who you are ...

Dont go on about your kinks .. tell me about you the human being

Dont send nude photos (unless I asked for them )

*smiles* .... its a start ,.... mostly be who you are.. and remember I only see what you write and share

(in reply to WifeBoyWannabee)

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/19/2006 7:13:41 PM

WifeBoyWannabee

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Thank You Mz Minx @}>==+===

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/19/2006 7:32:04 PM

GddssBella

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G'evening all:

Direct cut, copy and paste from my journal which answers this thread;

Guys: Here's a quarter, buy a clue. No dommes are interested in one line emails, crotch shots, or your laundry lists of fetishes. Treat us like ladies. We are not life supports to your kinks. There are flesh and blood real women behind these profiles.

Now, writing a proper introductory email shall consist of; a salutation, your name, marital status, residence, vanilla hobbies and interests, career, family, goals, ambitions, etc. Make sure you execute good spelling, grammar, punctuation, and sentence/paragraph structure. Nobody likes a lazy sub.

Guys, impressing a lady is easy. Be a gentleman. Take a hint from the instructions bestowed. Perhaps then, you'll be more successful!

To the OP, hope this helps.

Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others...

Bella

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!"

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/19/2006 7:42:11 PM

Windygal

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Joined: 8/17/2004
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I agree with the above comments. I have gotten lots of emails that just say, I'm the one, call me and a number. Now, are you really? Others tell Me all about what they want Me to do to them HO HUM, and lists of the kinks they think they are good at, well, guess what most VANILLA guys like that stuff, too. What do u have to offer that sets you apart? What are a few of your vanilla interests? Good luck

< Message edited by Windygal -- 8/19/2006 8:16:16 PM >

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/19/2006 7:48:31 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
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From: Nashville, TN
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And please, whatever you do, dont tell us your not worthy... We will probably agree.
What I have often told subs that mail me, if you cant think of something that will make you interesting to me, theres a good chance I wont be able to find anything either. We would like to know that there is more to you than your kink. And, especially if you are going to be long distance for any length of time, we NEED to see that you are able to communicate well. This is going to be our main mode of control, and if we cant get what we need from you here, it isnt going to last long.

My 2 cents
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

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If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/19/2006 8:42:44 PM

Arpig

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SPELL CHECK

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/19/2006 9:40:15 PM

Renate234

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From: sw Missouri
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Remember, that your first message, is your first impression.

Use proper spelling, grammar, punctuation.

Be yourself, not who you think she'd want you to be.

You expect individual attention from her, so don't insult her by cut/pasting some stock first message.

Read the profile *carefully*, and take cues from that. Letting her know how you meet her expectations, will start you off nicely. However, if she mentions she has cats, and that you'll be cleaning the litterbox... it probably wouldn't be wise, to tell her how oral you are, and that you'll clean her litterbox with your tongue. (true story)

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/19/2006 9:58:09 PM

WifeBoyWannabee

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Cleaning a litterbox with my tounge is a hard limit......

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/19/2006 10:26:40 PM

DominaRava

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I do most definitely agree with the Ladies who have responded so far, and I would include:

When addressing your letter, do make sure you mail it to the One you have addressed it to. *chuckle*

(Yes, I have received 2 addressed to other Dommes)

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/19/2006 10:37:45 PM

MisPandora

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I strongly suggest you look here (http://www.collarchat.com/m_541014/tm.htm) for what not to do on a letter to a domina.

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/19/2006 10:39:38 PM

mstrjx

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While it might be assumed protocol for the future, in your first email (assuming it is coming from you reaching out to 'her') it is probably wise not to address her with some honorific (Mistress, Ma'am, Goddess) or to be over-submissive and lowercase your 'I''s when referring to yourself.

In other words, don't assume her authority over you. If you get past first base, she'll let you know how to proceed.

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/20/2006 1:23:41 AM

MysticFireTopaz

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I agree with all of the good suggestions you have received so far and would like to re-iterate what Mz. Minx said about following suggestions that may be in a Domme's profile.

In My profile, I ask that a sub respond with specific pieces of information in his introductory letter. When he does, it impresses Me very favorably because 1) I know he read My profile 2) I know he cares enough to respect My wishes, and 3) it saves Me from having to write back to him to obtain information that is important to Me in making a decision whether to go forward or not.

One thing I particularly dislike is a mass-mailed form letter. There are subs who send out the same e-mail in enormous quantities. I have compared notes with some Domme friends, and they got the exact same message, word for word. If you are going to contact multiple Dommes, at least customize each introductory letter.

Lady Topaz

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/20/2006 6:25:38 PM

GoddessDustyGold

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz

In My profile, I ask that a sub respond with specific pieces of information in his introductory letter. When he does, it impresses Me very favorably because 1) I know he read My profile 2) I know he cares enough to respect My wishes, and 3) it saves Me from having to write back to him to obtain information that is important to Me in making a decision whether to go forward or not.

I do the same. I have specifically outlined in My profile what I want included in a first letter of introduction and petition. In the several months since I have put that *new* profile up (I was taking a break), I have received exactly 3 emails that covered the information I request. That's not a very good batting average, considering I have received several hundreds of petitions.
Unlike MysticFireTopez, I am more tired lately, so I don't have to restrain Myself quite so much in answering inappropriate emails with further instructions and asking for information. I state that I won't reply to letters that ignore My preferences (a first clue that a boy will try to take a shortcut or think that it just doesn't apply to him), and I have been better lately about doing just that. No reply, that is.
A profile and journal entries are usually your best guide. Most of us will give the basic idea of who we are and what we seek as well as what we would like to see in the first email. It is easy enough to read and figure out how to approach.

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/20/2006 6:35:29 PM

MissDragonLady

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I have to agree with all that answered you so far.
I for one hate to get one liner emails in answer to my ad.
And I also hate to have to keep emailing the sub/slave dragging information out of them.
It's like pulling teeth sometimes........I am also one that likes to know they read my ad before responding to me. I as all of the rest of the Dom/mes have taken great time in making sure we convade what we are looking for. So yes read their ads and anser honestly but not repeating your ad or hers be you.
Miss Pam
House of Dragons Lair

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/20/2006 6:35:54 PM

WifeBoyWannabee

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Thank You for all of your help on this Lovely Ladies!!!!

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/20/2006 6:39:21 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
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From: Nashville, TN
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I really do have to add one in here now, since I have been absolutely inundated with messages lately.
If you are going to tell the domme that you have read and enjoyed her profile, make sure you have actually read the entire thing.
The end of my profile very clearly states that I have someone under consideration and that I am not looking for anythng past friends right now. Therefore when smoeone messages me telling me how much they loved my profile and how much they want to serve me and asks me if I am seking a new sub... it looks really bad.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/20/2006 6:47:21 PM

cloudboy

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Dick-shot photo attachments are generally frowned upon.

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/20/2006 6:52:04 PM

Misstoyou

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

Dick-shot photo attachments are generally frowned upon.

Thank you, cloudboy. As a teacher, I totally appreciate how important it is to state what should be obvious.

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a.k.a. "mean Lady"

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RE: Wants advise on first email to potential domme - 8/20/2006 6:55:31 PM

MysticFireTopaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold
Unlike MysticFireTopez, I am more tired lately, so I don't have to restrain Myself quite so much in answering inappropriate emails with further instructions and asking for information. I state that I won't reply to letters that ignore My preferences (a first clue that a boy will try to take a shortcut or think that it just doesn't apply to him), and I have been better lately about doing just that. No reply, that is.

That's a good point. I had been asking for further information, if a sub did not provide what I requested when he first wrote to Me, only when he was local and in My "target" age group. I had one of these last week where he didn't provide what I asked and I wrote back to him. Well, it turns out he had e-mailed every Domme in town with a form intro letter. No wonder he didn't provide what I requested. A friend actually met him and he turned out to be a complete jerk. Now that I think about it, in the cases where I have had to write back to get the information that I originally asked for in My profile, not one has turned out to be a decent prospect. It probably is best to just ignore them if they ignore My preferences, even if they are local and age-compatible. The long-distance ones I wouldn't get back with anyway unless they minded every p and q, since they're a long-shot to begin with.

Lady Topaz

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