Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb

Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (Full Version)

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captiveplatypus -> Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (8/19/2006 11:16:49 PM)
Lately I've seen n00bish people like myself come into the forums admitting they are n00bs, asking n00bish questions, admitting they are probably n00bish questions but thanking in advance in their request for advice only to have their (often questionable, yes) life choices interrogated and shredded and then get flamed for asking or saying or doing n00bish things. We were all n00bs once!! And we certainly ALL make seemingly questionable choices as perceived by the outside world. Would you rather us ask questions and possibly sound a little naive in the early days, but learn, or be too shy to ask at all? And this may be a n00bish thing for me to say, but just give us a little consideration and kindness when we're first trying to learn. ya know, unless they're really being an ass. Thank you. :) puts on her flame-retardant pajamas

Owned1 -> RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (8/19/2006 11:21:36 PM)
Perhaps I am tainted but i honestly have not seen one who asks a question that is obviously not from a wanker (male or female) that is ignored or flamed. Remebering though everyone has their own opinions and each communicate differently. To one it can be great advice to another the exact same message could be a flame Owned

captiveplatypus -> RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (8/19/2006 11:26:57 PM)
Maybe I really am just too naive and too quick to assume people are generally good. Sometimes (not always, sometimes you are right!) to me it looks like people think they're looking for wank material but not really.

Morpheus07 -> RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (8/19/2006 11:28:34 PM)
I think all the regulars just want you to search the forums (like LA does for everyone.) learn on your own in solitude, and watch their brilliance as they banter (somewhat) wittily back and forth about nothing. Its like that on almost all forums I belong to, whether they be about overclocking your computer, working with dogs, or BDSM. Some people just take over the role as "rulers of the forums" and decide what is cool and not cool for us all. Don't let it bother you too much and be as noobie ish as you like.

captiveplatypus -> RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (8/19/2006 11:51:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Morpheus07 and watch their brilliance as they banter (somewhat) wittily back and forth about nothing. hey hey! There's nothing wrong with that! [sm=banana.gif]

HappyKittyChick -> RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (8/20/2006 12:14:32 AM)
agree about keeping quiet when you're new & reading/taking in what is being said instead of asking a question that's covered already, maybe many times, by a lot of newbies. No doubt the long timers don't mind, it's just they have prob answered it a lot of times before.

Kedicat -> RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (8/20/2006 1:09:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: captiveplatypus Lately I've seen n00bish people like myself come into the forums admitting they are n00bs, asking n00bish questions, admitting they are probably n00bish questions but thanking in advance in their request for advice only to have their (often questionable, yes) life choices interrogated and shredded and then get flamed for asking or saying or doing n00bish things. We were all n00bs once!! And we certainly ALL make seemingly questionable choices as perceived by the outside world. Would you rather us ask questions and possibly sound a little naive in the early days, but learn, or be too shy to ask at all? And this may be a n00bish thing for me to say, but just give us a little consideration and kindness when we're first trying to learn. ya know, unless they're really being an ass. Thank you. :) puts on her flame-retardant pajamas Yes we were all newbies once. Some regressed to being assholes. Ignore them. and Me too sometimes.

Level -> RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (8/20/2006 3:07:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: captiveplatypus Lately I've seen n00bish people like myself come into the forums admitting they are n00bs, asking n00bish questions, admitting they are probably n00bish questions but thanking in advance in their request for advice only to have their (often questionable, yes) life choices interrogated and shredded and then get flamed for asking or saying or doing n00bish things. We were all n00bs once!! And we certainly ALL make seemingly questionable choices as perceived by the outside world. Would you rather us ask questions and possibly sound a little naive in the early days, but learn, or be too shy to ask at all? And this may be a n00bish thing for me to say, but just give us a little consideration and kindness when we're first trying to learn. ya know, unless they're really being an ass. Thank you. :) puts on her flame-retardant pajamas Well, you certainly don't come across as new [:D].

mstrjx -> RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (8/20/2006 3:42:51 AM)
The wankers, and you really can usually tell who they are, exist to rattle the chains, successfully or not, then go. And they do. So what is the harm? Those that are serious, so some extent, will post here for various reasons. To inform, to entertain, to do some of each, to get noticed. I think many people will read questions and answers from others prior to posting for the first time, so they have a basic understanding of what they're getting into. If you takes your chances and have a thickish skin, you'll realize that regardless of the outcome these are all just words and you'll take whatever importance you find. Jeff

MrDiscipline44 -> RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (8/20/2006 5:59:21 AM)
People teach others in different ways. Some do the nice-nice "let me lead you by the hand" sort of way and others do the "Hey dumb-ass, thats hot and your old enough to know it" sort of way. There are people that come in with preconcieve fantasies that this way of life is some-how better then anyother and that people in this way of life are on some sort of higher moral plan. It's not, we aren't and sometimes it takes a quick slap in the face to so people that the same Murphy's laws apply here as they do anywhere.

KatyLied -> RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (8/20/2006 6:11:00 AM)
Some newbies by-pass the sensible newbie thing and move directly into stupidity. Having patience with those posters can be difficult.

sharainks -> RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (8/20/2006 6:34:13 AM)
I think sometimes people forget that new to this place doesn't necessarily mean new to WIITWD. If you are new to WIITWD then stating so usually helps. I haven't seen too many people who come here and state that they are inexperienced get trashed if they ask reasonable questions. That said, lurking awhile (in my case about 6 months) gets you familiar with the posters and helps you decide if you do want to post. I lurked so long because the last place I went to got to be little but flame wars between various members.

SweetSarijane -> RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (8/20/2006 6:39:24 AM)
I was a newbie here like all were at one time. At that time I read the TOS for the forums and spent a few weeks reading through the threads new and old at that time before I ever posted. Answered some of the questions I had without me having to ask them. Kept at least "some" repeat questions from being asked then and cluttering up the boards. If all newbies took that time and paid attention then maybe there'd be less trolling and advertising posts and maybe they'd learn a thing or two that they were wanting to know?????? Common sense to me, but then again...sense doesn't seem to be very common anymore.

Tamerofwild1s -> RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (8/20/2006 7:06:00 AM)
I fully agree with being a newbie once ... I can't remember when but I was a newbie once too .. I trip and stumbled over my shoes more times then I care to admit . and heck even these days some 20 years later I still make mistakes in things I do ...... it's called learn. post your questions no matter how rediculous or common they might seem .... read the responses . if someone seems to flame your question brush over it and go on to the next .... you will find a great many people here who will have a full solid sounding advice to share with you. gather up every last piece of reasonable advice you get ... lay it all out on a table .. then sit back and say ... well . I like that ..... I like that too . and from another you take something else ... till you have created your own solid piece of knowledge and go with it .. learn from it ... and use it as much as can be. your gonna be fine in this lifestyle and I don't think you need to be wearing that nOOber sign around your neck anymore this is the opinion of Tamer 2.0 and maybe used in any such way you deem needed

Pimpernell -> RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (8/20/2006 7:13:37 AM)
I know what you are talking about captiveplatypus. I've seen people attacked just for using a word someone disagreed on the definition of. Sometimes it's overt and sometimes "innocent". For example, going into pointless and off-topic generalisations about young people, when the OP is a young person. Then acting all insulted when called on highjacking the thread. Sometimes it seems some people are scared that anyone new is going to steal all the subs and slaves away. If someone had never used a forum before, they are quite daunting. Or if they had been on forums which the search functionality didn't work or the functionality was down, which is true of 90% of the forums I have been on, of course they are not going to use the search feature. I know the first time I started a thread, I didn't know how to use the Search functionality. I looked back 6 or so pages of topics, and couldn't find a similar one. I think someone dug up one from 18 months before and pointed it out to me. Um, so no one who joined since then has anything worth adding? Plus it wasn't the question I wanted answered anyway. Luckyalbatross seems very good in providing links to people asking questions that have been asked before. I'm sure she gets tired of it, but she is thought of fondly by us newbies. Now, if you are sick of newbs posting, rather than try to scare them away, just ignore them. Or is the internet running out of pixels?

TNstepsout -> RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (8/20/2006 8:22:47 AM)
I've been around here about a year and only had about 10 posts under my belt in the first 6 months. I did a lot of lurking and I still read a lot more than I post. I think the problem comes in when a newbie comes in and ask a question that's been covered a thousand times before and is covered in most ALL easily obtainable written materials regarding D/s or BDSM rather than doing a little research and reading beforehand. It's annoying and childish. As in "what is the difference in sub and slave" "What is the difference in a sub and Dom?" "What is subspace?" Then, as mentioned, are the wankers. "what's your favorite fantasy", "what's the kinkiest thing you ever did", "what do you like to put up your bum?" etc.... Then there are the whiners "Nobody emails me back, you guys are all assholes", "who cars if i cant spele that dont matter it whutinside that cunts u peepel or asshols" Then there are the flamers "Mistresses who want tribute are just whores", "how can squeezing pain from someone be love?" and anything related to "fat chicks". I've never had a problem with one of my "newbie" posts being flamed. Most of the time people are very helpful as long as they realize you are earnest in seeking answers and have at least attempted to research and understand before asking your question.

captiveplatypus -> RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (8/20/2006 8:24:29 AM)
I didn't say this so much for myself, having had much experience on the intarweb, but for others that may be overly shy and not expecting it. y'all can't scare me! [sm=boxer.gif] Well, a couple of you do... but in a good way, promise! [;)] Oh and yeah, LA is a newb's dream, a fountain of information, I agree. By the way, I haven't been flamed here either. And yeah maybe people should lurk at first, but lurking is boooooring. [:)]

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (8/20/2006 8:52:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: captiveplatypus Oh and yeah, LA is a newb's dream, a fountain of information, I agree. LOL All I do is post a lot of links- anyone could do that and really it's only time consuming the first time. After that you just have to find the last time that topic came up. And trust me, more than a handful of people get really annoyed by my link posting, it's not something that gives me universal love. I think it was pointed out early- a newbie who makes a sincere post will get sincere responses. A newbie who makes a whine post will get snarky responses. A newbie TO THE FORUMS will meet with some resistance if they try and shake up the heirarchy (this is what happens to me since I tend to bust into a forum running...it makes for rough going in the first few weeks, but eventually you establish yourself in the heirarchy and settle down). If all these adults came in here and realized the difference between disagreement and dislike, between being held accountable and being attacked, they'd be a lot happier.

FelinePersuasion -> RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (8/20/2006 9:53:57 AM)
Noob sounds like boob lol.

Arpig -> RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb (8/20/2006 9:59:57 AM)
quote: agree about keeping quiet when you're new & reading/taking in what is being said instead of asking a question that's covered already, maybe many times, by a lot of newbies. No doubt the long timers don't mind, it's just they have prob answered it a lot of times before. And if it really bothers them so much, they don't have to answer it again. Ask whatever you like, who cares if its been asked a bazillion and one times before, it has never been asked by you before. Those who have been around here a while will either answer you, ignore the question, or will post links to other threads on the same topic, orf they may, for any number of reasons (some to do with your question and how it was framed, and others to do with the type of day the responder is having) flame you. You pays your money and you takes your chances.

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