Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb - 8/19/2006 11:16:49 PM

captiveplatypus

Posts: 382
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

Lately I've seen n00bish people like myself come into the forums admitting they are n00bs, asking n00bish questions, admitting they are probably n00bish questions but thanking in advance in their request for advice only to have their (often questionable, yes) life choices interrogated and shredded and then get flamed for asking or saying or doing n00bish things.

We were all n00bs once!! And we certainly ALL make seemingly questionable choices as perceived by the outside world. Would you rather us ask questions and possibly sound a little naive in the early days, but learn, or be too shy to ask at all?

And this may be a n00bish thing for me to say, but just give us a little consideration and kindness when we're first trying to learn.

ya know, unless they're really being an ass.

Thank you. :)

*puts on her flame-retardant pajamas*

Post #: 1

RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb - 8/19/2006 11:21:36 PM

Owned1

Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline

Perhaps I am tainted but i honestly have not seen one who asks a question that is obviously not from a wanker (male or female) that is ignored or flamed.

Remebering though everyone has their own opinions and each communicate differently. To one it can be great advice to another the exact same message could be a flame

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 2

RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb - 8/19/2006 11:26:57 PM

captiveplatypus

Posts: 382
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

Maybe I really am just too naive and too quick to assume people are generally good. Sometimes (not always, sometimes you are right!) to me it looks like people think they're looking for wank material but not really.

(in reply to Owned1)

Post #: 3

RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb - 8/19/2006 11:28:34 PM

Morpheus07

Posts: 89
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline

I think all the regulars just want you to search the forums (like LA does for everyone.) learn on your own in solitude, and watch their brilliance as they banter (somewhat) wittily back and forth about nothing.

Its like that on almost all forums I belong to, whether they be about overclocking your computer, working with dogs, or BDSM. Some people just take over the role as "rulers of the forums" and decide what is cool and not cool for us all.

Don't let it bother you too much and be as noobie ish as you like.

_____________________________

Its a case of mind over matter, "I don't mind, because you don't matter!"

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 4

RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb - 8/19/2006 11:51:41 PM

captiveplatypus

Posts: 382
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Morpheus07

and watch their brilliance as they banter (somewhat) wittily back and forth about nothing.

hey hey! There's nothing wrong with that!

(in reply to Morpheus07)

Post #: 5

RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb - 8/20/2006 12:14:32 AM

HappyKittyChick

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/2/2006
From: San Diego
Status: offline

agree about keeping quiet when you're new & reading/taking in what is being said instead of asking a question that's covered already, maybe many times, by a lot of newbies. No doubt the long timers don't mind, it's just they have prob answered it a lot of times before.

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 6

RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb - 8/20/2006 1:09:11 AM

Kedicat

Posts: 251
Joined: 3/13/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: captiveplatypus

Lately I've seen n00bish people like myself come into the forums admitting they are n00bs, asking n00bish questions, admitting they are probably n00bish questions but thanking in advance in their request for advice only to have their (often questionable, yes) life choices interrogated and shredded and then get flamed for asking or saying or doing n00bish things.

We were all n00bs once!! And we certainly ALL make seemingly questionable choices as perceived by the outside world. Would you rather us ask questions and possibly sound a little naive in the early days, but learn, or be too shy to ask at all?

And this may be a n00bish thing for me to say, but just give us a little consideration and kindness when we're first trying to learn.

ya know, unless they're really being an ass.

Thank you. :)

*puts on her flame-retardant pajamas*

Yes we were all newbies once. Some regressed to being assholes. Ignore them. and Me too sometimes.

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 7

RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb - 8/20/2006 3:07:43 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: captiveplatypus

Lately I've seen n00bish people like myself come into the forums admitting they are n00bs, asking n00bish questions, admitting they are probably n00bish questions but thanking in advance in their request for advice only to have their (often questionable, yes) life choices interrogated and shredded and then get flamed for asking or saying or doing n00bish things.

We were all n00bs once!! And we certainly ALL make seemingly questionable choices as perceived by the outside world. Would you rather us ask questions and possibly sound a little naive in the early days, but learn, or be too shy to ask at all?

And this may be a n00bish thing for me to say, but just give us a little consideration and kindness when we're first trying to learn.

ya know, unless they're really being an ass.

Thank you. :)

*puts on her flame-retardant pajamas*

Well, you certainly don't come across as new

.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 8

RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb - 8/20/2006 3:42:51 AM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

The wankers, and you really can usually tell who they are, exist to rattle the chains, successfully or not, then go. And they do. So what is the harm?

Those that are serious, so some extent, will post here for various reasons. To inform, to entertain, to do some of each, to get noticed. I think many people will read questions and answers from others prior to posting for the first time, so they have a basic understanding of what they're getting into.

If you takes your chances and have a thickish skin, you'll realize that regardless of the outcome these are all just words and you'll take whatever importance you find.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 9

RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb - 8/20/2006 5:59:21 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

People teach others in different ways. Some do the nice-nice "let me lead you by the hand" sort of way and others do the "Hey dumb-ass, thats hot and your old enough to know it" sort of way. There are people that come in with preconcieve fantasies that this way of life is some-how better then anyother and that people in this way of life are on some sort of higher moral plan. It's not, we aren't and sometimes it takes a quick slap in the face to so people that the same Murphy's laws apply here as they do anywhere.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 10

RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb - 8/20/2006 6:11:00 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Some newbies by-pass the sensible newbie thing and move directly into stupidity. Having patience with those posters can be difficult.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 11

RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb - 8/20/2006 6:34:13 AM

sharainks

Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline

I think sometimes people forget that new to this place doesn't necessarily mean new to WIITWD. If you are new to WIITWD then stating so usually helps. I haven't seen too many people who come here and state that they are inexperienced get trashed if they ask reasonable questions.

That said, lurking awhile (in my case about 6 months) gets you familiar with the posters and helps you decide if you do want to post. I lurked so long because the last place I went to got to be little but flame wars between various members.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 12

RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb - 8/20/2006 6:39:24 AM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline

I was a newbie here like all were at one time. At that time I read the TOS for the forums and spent a few weeks reading through the threads new and old at that time before I ever posted. Answered some of the questions I had without me having to ask them. Kept at least "some" repeat questions from being asked then and cluttering up the boards. If all newbies took that time and paid attention then maybe there'd be less trolling and advertising posts and maybe they'd learn a thing or two that they were wanting to know?????? Common sense to me, but then again...sense doesn't seem to be very common anymore.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 13

RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb - 8/20/2006 7:06:00 AM

Tamerofwild1s

Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline

I fully agree with being a newbie once ... I can't remember when but I was a newbie once too .. I trip and stumbled over my shoes more times then I care to admit . and heck even these days some 20 years later I still make mistakes in things I do ...... it's called learn. post your questions no matter how rediculous or common they might seem .... read the responses . if someone seems to flame your question brush over it and go on to the next .... you will find a great many people here who will have a full solid sounding advice to share with you. gather up every last piece of reasonable advice you get ... lay it all out on a table .. then sit back and say ... well . I like that ..... I like that too . and from another you take something else ... till you have created your own solid piece of knowledge and go with it .. learn from it ... and use it as much as can be.

your gonna be fine in this lifestyle and I don't think you need to be wearing that nOOber sign around your neck anymore

this is the opinion of Tamer 2.0 and maybe used in any such way you deem needed

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to SweetSarijane)

Post #: 14

RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb - 8/20/2006 7:13:37 AM

Pimpernell

Posts: 198
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline

I know what you are talking about captiveplatypus. I've seen people attacked just for using a word someone disagreed on the definition of. Sometimes it's overt and sometimes "innocent". For example, going into pointless and off-topic generalisations about young people, when the OP is a young person. Then acting all insulted when called on highjacking the thread. Sometimes it seems some people are scared that anyone new is going to steal all the subs and slaves away.

If someone had never used a forum before, they are quite daunting. Or if they had been on forums which the search functionality didn't work or the functionality was down, which is true of 90% of the forums I have been on, of course they are not going to use the search feature. I know the first time I started a thread, I didn't know how to use the Search functionality. I looked back 6 or so pages of topics, and couldn't find a similar one. I think someone dug up one from 18 months before and pointed it out to me. Um, so no one who joined since then has anything worth adding? Plus it wasn't the question I wanted answered anyway.

Luckyalbatross seems very good in providing links to people asking questions that have been asked before. I'm sure she gets tired of it, but she is thought of fondly by us newbies.

Now, if you are sick of newbs posting, rather than try to scare them away, just ignore them. Or is the internet running out of pixels?

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 15

RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb - 8/20/2006 8:22:47 AM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

I've been around here about a year and only had about 10 posts under my belt in the first 6 months. I did a lot of lurking and I still read a lot more than I post.

I think the problem comes in when a newbie comes in and ask a question that's been covered a thousand times before and is covered in most ALL easily obtainable written materials regarding D/s or BDSM rather than doing a little research and reading beforehand. It's annoying and childish. As in "what is the difference in sub and slave" "What is the difference in a sub and Dom?" "What is subspace?"

Then, as mentioned, are the wankers. "what's your favorite fantasy", "what's the kinkiest thing you ever did", "what do you like to put up your bum?" etc....

Then there are the whiners "Nobody emails me back, you guys are all assholes", "who cars if i cant spele that dont matter it whutinside that cunts u peepel or asshols"

Then there are the flamers "Mistresses who want tribute are just whores", "how can squeezing pain from someone be love?" and anything related to "fat chicks".

I've never had a problem with one of my "newbie" posts being flamed. Most of the time people are very helpful as long as they realize you are earnest in seeking answers and have at least attempted to research and understand before asking your question.

(in reply to Pimpernell)

Post #: 16

RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb - 8/20/2006 8:24:29 AM

captiveplatypus

Posts: 382
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

I didn't say this so much for myself, having had much experience on the intarweb, but for others that may be overly shy and not expecting it.

y'all can't scare me!

Well, a couple of you do... but in a good way, promise!

Oh and yeah, LA is a newb's dream, a fountain of information, I agree.

By the way, I haven't been flamed here either. And yeah maybe people should lurk at first, but lurking is boooooring.

< Message edited by captiveplatypus -- 8/20/2006 8:25:33 AM >

(in reply to Pimpernell)

Post #: 17

RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb - 8/20/2006 8:52:59 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: captiveplatypus
Oh and yeah, LA is a newb's dream, a fountain of information, I agree.

LOL All I do is post a lot of links- anyone could do that and really it's only time consuming the first time. After that you just have to find the last time that topic came up.

And trust me, more than a handful of people get really annoyed by my link posting, it's not something that gives me universal love.

I think it was pointed out early- a newbie who makes a sincere post will get sincere responses.

A newbie who makes a whine post will get snarky responses.

A newbie TO THE FORUMS will meet with some resistance if they try and shake up the heirarchy (this is what happens to me since I tend to bust into a forum running...it makes for rough going in the first few weeks, but eventually you establish yourself in the heirarchy and settle down).

If all these adults came in here and realized the difference between disagreement and dislike, between being held accountable and being attacked, they'd be a lot happier.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 18

RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb - 8/20/2006 9:53:57 AM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

Noob sounds like boob lol.

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 19

RE: Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb - 8/20/2006 9:59:57 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

quote:

agree about keeping quiet when you're new & reading/taking in what is being said instead of asking a question that's covered already, maybe many times, by a lot of newbies. No doubt the long timers don't mind, it's just they have prob answered it a lot of times before.

And if it really bothers them so much, they don't have to answer it again. Ask whatever you like, who cares if its been asked a bazillion and one times before, it has never been asked by you before. Those who have been around here a while will either answer you, ignore the question, or will post links to other threads on the same topic, orf they may, for any number of reasons (some to do with your question and how it was framed, and others to do with the type of day the responder is having) flame you.

You pays your money and you takes your chances.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to HappyKittyChick)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Maybe I missed something: coming from a CM newb

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094