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pushing buttons - 8/21/2006 1:03:25 PM   
prdslave


Posts: 190
Joined: 7/1/2006
Status: offline 		Has anyone out there ever deliberately pushed a limit/rule/whatevername you have for it?
And the only reason for doing it was to see what happened? Im curious, and bored, and I cant sleep, and I have to go to work soon.

Just for an example - X says always put the remote on the right side of my chair, and you put it on the left. (it was all i could think of :p )
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RE: pushing buttons - 8/21/2006 1:08:39 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: prdslave
Has anyone out there ever deliberately pushed a limit/rule/whatevername you have for it?

Almost everyone does this when they first get into the scene.

Almost no one does this when they are in a stable solid relationship.
quote:


And the only reason for doing it was to see what happened? Im curious, and bored, and I cant sleep, and I have to go to work soon.

Just for an example - X says always put the remote on the right side of my chair, and you put it on the left. (it was all i could think of :p )

Stealing/hiding toys, pushing the line of "You didn't SAY not to do THAT", deliberately avoiding doing what you said you would do- obey and serve, are all very typical signs of a novice who isn't really secure and stable in who they are and what they want.  If they do not drop the habits, they are often labeled, or take upon themselves the label of being a brat.

I dislike how many subs justify "pushing boundaries" as a good way to find out the character of the person you are courting.  It's really a passive aggressive attempt at attention and a habit which should be eliminated as soon as possible.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to prdslave)
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RE: pushing buttons - 8/21/2006 1:20:12 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		Yep, i've done it and still do it occasionally. More so now in a jokey way but i dont always get the timing right. Sometimes i'm a 'brat' at the most inopportune times.

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RE: pushing buttons - 8/21/2006 1:22:51 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Early in a relationship almost every girl will push a boundery or two on occassion, wether consiously or subconsiously. It is one thing to be told there is a boundery, quite another to know it is there and that it WILL be held too, from EXPERIENCE. It is part of the learning process.

When things get more stable and trust builds, there is less need for such boundery pushing. She doesn't need to test what she already fully knows and trusts in. That isn't to say it never happens, often when a girl is unsettled, anxious or upset there will be a boundery push or two, just small ones, drawing reasurance from the fact that they are there and as firmly held as expected.

Not the only occurances but the two that come to My mind most readily this evening.


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And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to prdslave)
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RE: pushing buttons - 8/21/2006 1:29:11 PM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		In a scene where I was tied with another sub face to face the Dom circled us while he interrogated us. We were to answer in unison. If we answered late or the wrong answer we got paddled, cane or whipped depending on his choice. Well she and I in cahoots whispered to each other not to answer the next question to see what he'd do. He asked a question in a different format than the one he'd been using. We did not answer at all. He thought we didn't answer as we thought it a trick. Wellllll she and I never told him of our plan & we didn't have the nerve to try it again.
We laughed till we cried later over our attempt to test him  and the fact he wiggled out of the test without ever knowing  we tested him. Our just desserts for being bratty was we'll never know what he would have done if he thought we both had not answered on purpose.
Suzanne

(in reply to prdslave)
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RE: pushing buttons - 8/21/2006 1:39:49 PM   
prdslave


Posts: 190
Joined: 7/1/2006
Status: offline 		was meaning more in a joking fashion, not an attempt to gauge the other persons character. i guess i needed to make a more personal example. The other day, I was tickling a certain persons feet, and the remark was made that paybacks could be a *****. I continued to tickle occasionally, and Im sure Ill get it back tenfold.

I guess the original question was poorly worded, and I do apologize for that.

(in reply to missturbation)
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RE: pushing buttons - 8/21/2006 1:44:05 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: prdslave
was meaning more in a joking fashion, not an attempt to gauge the other persons character. i guess i needed to make a more personal example. The other day, I was tickling a certain persons feet, and the remark was made that paybacks could be a *****. I continued to tickle occasionally, and Im sure Ill get it back tenfold.

I guess the original question was poorly worded, and I do apologize for that.

Playful fun is playful fun.  As long as everyone is aware of what's going on and is honestly enjoying it, while not making others irritated, then it's great.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to prdslave)
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RE: pushing buttons - 8/21/2006 3:05:35 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		deliberately- No I havent


Only time I would even atempt such a thing would be in a playful manner- those times when we were both being silly

< Message edited by swtnsparkling -- 8/21/2006 3:06:20 PM >

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Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



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RE: pushing buttons - 8/21/2006 3:13:25 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Oh, my boy has pushed buttons a few times.  Never more than once, though, and usually unintentionally.  As far as I know he has never pushed his boundaries on purpose to see what my reaction would be.   Thats a habit i make sure my boys know wont be tolerated from the get go.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: pushing buttons - 8/21/2006 3:19:55 PM   
BillsGalSusan


Posts: 69
Joined: 7/18/2006
Status: offline 		I did it (in the sense of testing limits) when I was insecure, in the beginning of our relationship. I do it frequently, in a playful way, now.

At some point, many years ago, I came to know very well what the limits are, and why they are there--even if some of the reasons are no more than "that's the way Bill wants it".

I did have a fairly long period of time when feeling insecure or upset about something that was not really part of our relationship (like work things) increased my need to *feel* his control in a more active way. Over time I learned to ask for what I really needed when that happened, things  like some additional time and attention,  physical closeness, or a little pain to centre me.


Another Susan

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
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RE: pushing buttons - 8/21/2006 3:22:56 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: prdslave

Has anyone out there ever deliberately pushed a limit/rule/whatevername you have for it?
And the only reason for doing it was to see what happened? Im curious, and bored, and I cant sleep, and I have to go to work soon.

Just for an example - X says always put the remote on the right side of my chair, and you put it on the left. (it was all i could think of :p )


Nah, I never intentionally did something that I knew was going to get me in trouble.   I would rather be pleasing than displeasing.  I am however, guilty of "testing" in the beginning of a relationship, or the "getting to know him phase".  Im not sure its even intentional on my part, but sometimes I get an attitude and I actually like to make sure it wont be tolerated. 

(in reply to prdslave)
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RE: pushing buttons - 8/21/2006 4:05:43 PM   
Slipstreme


Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		I pester my Tops every once and a while. Granted they are also my friends, and in general, if I know I can get away with it, I pester my friends (ex: I'm rather famous for smacking their ass randomly and inviting chase by being, in general, a brat). Yes, I do often do it to get myself into more and more trouble before scene, but these are scenes done with friends, no D/s, so there are no reprecussions for it, other than maybe, a slightly blacker ass for doing it. Which was the whole point. Positive reinforcement :P

_____________________________

Living the Dichotomy

Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

(in reply to marieToo)
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RE: pushing buttons - 8/21/2006 4:49:05 PM   
BrokenDoll


Posts: 106
Joined: 8/15/2006
Status: offline 		I must admit beeing guilty of this when first starting a new relationship i always test my boundries

_____________________________

Please take care of your toys treat them with Love and respect, For broken toys are no fun at all!

-doll-

(in reply to Slipstreme)
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RE: pushing buttons - 8/21/2006 8:10:29 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		My first experiences with a Dom i did test but the Dom that is special to me would not tolerate a test.  He does however like that i have a quick mind and W/we simply have fun together.  That does not mean that if i push to far there won't be some delicious reprecussions lol.

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RE: pushing buttons - 8/21/2006 10:51:38 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: prdslave
was meaning more in a joking fashion, not an attempt to gauge the other persons character. i guess i needed to make a more personal example. The other day, I was tickling a certain persons feet, and the remark was made that paybacks could be a *****. I continued to tickle occasionally, and Im sure Ill get it back tenfold.

I guess the original question was poorly worded, and I do apologize for that.

Playful fun is playful fun.  As long as everyone is aware of what's going on and is honestly enjoying it, while not making others irritated, then it's great.

That's the key, knowing how far to "play."  Heh.  It can turn on you in a dime.

I presented Master with my first home-made flogger on Saturday.  He looked at it, waved it, used it on me, offered some constructive advice for the next one, but said overall, he liked it and I had done well.  We were laying around resting at one point and he held it up and was kind of tossing it across his arm so that the tails would fall on him.  I looked up and grinned, and asked, "Would you like me to try it out on ya?"

I got the one-eyebrow-up look. Hehehehe...

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: pushing buttons - 8/22/2006 12:46:55 AM   
hispossession


Posts: 161
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline 		I find that with Master I don't even want to think about testing or pushing or being a brat... the idea of it makes me ill... I want to make things easier for him, not annoy or pester him.

I feel the same way with Sir but I do tend to be more relaxed with him as far as playing around and being a little cheeky. 

don't get me wrong... a look from Sir that says I might be getting too close to the line puts me right back in my place... but the feeling of letting him down by having to give me that look isn't as extreme as it is with Master.


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RE: pushing buttons - 8/22/2006 4:35:34 AM   
RandomGAGirl


Posts: 57
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		I've done it for play when we were both all about having fun after I know him well enough to recognize he is a playful mood :). 

(in reply to hispossession)
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RE: pushing buttons - 8/22/2006 6:01:17 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Well i don't anymore but Master used to give me just enough rope to "hang" myself and i often did.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to RandomGAGirl)
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RE: pushing buttons - 8/22/2006 7:03:23 AM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Has anyone out there ever deliberately pushed a limit/rule/whatevername you have for it?

A rule. NO
A limit. Absolutly. Every time I scene with someone it's with the intent to push my limits just a bit further than I previously had.

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

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RE: pushing buttons - 8/22/2006 7:27:17 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: prdslave

Has anyone out there ever deliberately pushed a limit/rule/whatevername you have for it?
And the only reason for doing it was to see what happened?


Outside of acceptable goofing around, I "tested boundaries" in the very beginning, not even at a conscious level, necessarily.  I think it helped me to understand where the defined boundaries were. He had made them clear, but I had a problem with trust back then, and somehow the evidence of those boundaries assured me.  He was walking the talk.  He seemed to understand what was happening, but made it clear as I grew in my submission and became more experienced, he expected more from me, and I would find punishment to be harsher for repeated infractions.   He was right.  But to deliberately disragard a rule?  I did that only once.

(in reply to prdslave)
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