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He/She's Just Not That Into You - 8/22/2006 11:43:19 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		What is your first clue?

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

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RE: He/She's Just Not That Into You - 8/22/2006 11:49:00 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		When they quit calling/returning calls... I just say "okayyyyy" and break off all communication, I do not need to push myself at anyone.

Better to look at what shows a person is "into you"

They call often

The return calls

The talk about things they would like to do in the future and talk about it as if  they will be doing those things with you

They seem genuinely interested in your day

They miss you when you are not there

They feel they want to explain tardiness with specifics, and they are rarely late.

The buy you things for holidays and birthdays

They think of things that you may like

They do not like the idea of you going to places where you may meet other singles before they are exclusive with you, even though they do not voice it this way or demand you not go

I am sure I could think of more...


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: He/She's Just Not That Into You - 8/22/2006 11:49:22 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		The first clue that *I* am not into someone is not calling them, not answering their calls or returning their voice mails promptly.

What I sense in others tends to be not making spending time with me a priority.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: He/She's Just Not That Into You - 8/22/2006 11:49:34 AM   
MissyRane


Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline 		You find excuses to be able to avoid them
You all of a sudden forgotten how to use the "call" button when you see they've been trying to reach you
They don't care about what you've been doing at all, ever.
Things end up casual and you feel the luuuuv just starting to slide without knowing about any problems that could cause the intimacy to disappear or at least decrease
One doesn't have the time for the other anymore..etc

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: He/She's Just Not That Into You - 8/22/2006 11:52:35 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

When they quit calling/returning calls... I just say "okayyyyy" and break off all communication, I do not need to push myself at anyone.

Better to look at what shows a person is "into you"

They call often

The return calls

The talk about things they would like to do in the future and talk about it as if  they will be doing those things with you

They seem genuinely interested in your day

They miss you when you are not there

They feel they want to explain tardiness with specifics, and they are rarely late.

The buy you things for holidays and birthdays

They think of things that you may like

They do not like the idea of you going to places where you may meet other singles before they are exclusive with you, even though they do not voice it this way or demand you not go

I am sure I could think of more...



All of the above can be used as the gently "let you down easy"..let's just stick to the  other side of the equasion here :)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: He/She's Just Not That Into You - 8/22/2006 11:55:36 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Um, I cannot relate to the other side of the equation, because if people do not return my calls in a timely manner, I usually cut off all contact, and they do not want to know why, because they "just were not into me". I do not know how to relate to the other side of it because to put up with someone just not into me is a completely foreign concept. If they are into you, they are going to return your phone calls, if they don't then you are chasing your tail.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 8/22/2006 11:56:26 AM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: He/She's Just Not That Into You - 8/22/2006 12:00:20 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		They vomit everytime you get close? 

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Boycott Whales!

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RE: He/She's Just Not That Into You - 8/22/2006 12:02:23 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

They vomit everytime you get close? 


That would pretty much clue me in.


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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Estring)
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RE: He/She's Just Not That Into You - 8/22/2006 12:35:59 PM   
abytchgoddess4u


Posts: 268
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline 		Definitely not returning calls or emails.

Doesn't matter so much after you know and trust one another, but in the initial stages it's a huge red flag.

That's when they get placed firmly in the "acquaintance" category.


_____________________________

"Everything in the Universe Is within you.
Ask all from yourself." Rumi

"The world will know and understand me someday. But if that day does not arrive, it does not greatly matter. I shall have opened the way for other women."
George Sand

(in reply to Estring)
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RE: He/She's Just Not That Into You - 8/22/2006 12:37:59 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

They vomit everytime you get close? 


nah.. it could be Rainbow Play :)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to Estring)
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RE: He/She's Just Not That Into You - 8/22/2006 12:46:59 PM   
MistressLorelei


Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		I get stuck with mixed signals.  Like not returning e-mails, or saying he/she will call that day, but they don't call for two days.... but at the same time, they give you nice presents, or say the nicest things when he/she does call.






(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: He/She's Just Not That Into You - 8/22/2006 12:57:14 PM   
MistressMaamNH


Posts: 211
Joined: 8/11/2004
Status: offline 		If at the end of the day/week, I feel I've expended more energy than I have gotten (or will get) in return. ( I'm not just talking about the normal fluctuations-I'm talking the overall balance)  And My gut tells Me I'm simply trying too hard. That's pretty much My que to step back and re-evaluate.

MMNH


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Let Me lay you softly, down onto the thorns...

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RE: He/She's Just Not That Into You - 8/22/2006 1:08:39 PM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

LotusSong (who really needs to get another form of distraction *smile* says:   What is your first clue?

And later:  All of the above can be used as the gently "let you down easy"..let's just stick to the  other side of the equasion here :)




The restraining order.

E.

< Message edited by Emperor1956 -- 8/22/2006 1:09:56 PM >

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: He/She's Just Not That Into You - 8/22/2006 1:16:14 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		They are always *doing something* when you want to do something with them.

You call them and the conversation from their side is mostly "uh huh, yeah look I gotta go. I'll call you later." and they never do.

They only contact you when they want sex and then its usually rushed and out the door they go until the next time they are hard up.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to Emperor1956)
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RE: He/She's Just Not That Into You - 8/22/2006 1:21:27 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

They are always *doing something* when you want to do something with them.

You call them and the conversation from their side is mostly "uh huh, yeah look I gotta go. I'll call you later." and they never do.

They only contact you when they want sex and then its usually rushed and out the door they go until the next time they are hard up.

~Lashra


This is the mistake I have seen friends make over and over and over. If they had found better things to do than call people that do not return calls, and were too "busy" for someone that treated them as an after thought... then they probably wouldn't have a repeat experience of the guy calling them when they were hard up....sighs

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: He/She's Just Not That Into You - 8/22/2006 11:27:09 PM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

What is your first clue?


There's a certain type of coldness that's associated with a self-centeredness that one needs to look for....  And when they see it /recognize it.....shut the door and run like hell!




quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

When they quit calling/returning calls... I just say "okayyyyy" and break off all communication, I do not need to push myself at anyone.

Better to look at what shows a person is "into you"

They call often

The return calls

The talk about things they would like to do in the future and talk about it as if  they will be doing those things with you

They seem genuinely interested in your day

They miss you when you are not there

They feel they want to explain tardiness with specifics, and they are rarely late.

The buy you things for holidays and birthdays

They think of things that you may like

They do not like the idea of you going to places where you may meet other singles before they are exclusive with you, even though they do not voice it this way or demand you not go

I am sure I could think of more...



Damn Julia.... That was good




 - R


_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: He/She's Just Not That Into You - 8/23/2006 4:45:45 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
What is your first clue?


Noticing that there seems to be a lack of interest in their communication. Mails, calls ect. seem distracted and/or rushed.

If I know there maybe other important things going on, I may have some patience and understanding for a while... but if it continues then it is a definate clue. Once noticed, if it doesn't resolve itself reasonably quickly then I will bring things to a head and confront them over it, either fix it or end it!

Lack of effort in communication almost allways equates to a lack of interest in the relationship!


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: He/She's Just Not That Into You - 8/23/2006 8:14:23 AM   
DesertRat


Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline 		I had plenty of clues...which I chose to ignore. I took a few kind words and gestures and expanded them to fill all the voids.

Bob

_____________________________

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro--Hunter S. Thompson
It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide!--Chief Dead St. Knockout, 1933, Liverpool
Damn the crops. I'll only find peace at the end of a rope.--Winston Van Loo, 1911

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 18
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