RE: does age matter in a sub

RE: does age matter in a sub (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master

Message

llkkto -> RE: does age matter in a sub (8/30/2006 10:04:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Homestead Fixations on the past can be difficult to deal with. Try dealing with a widower who exhalted her dead husband to saint status. No one can win in a situation like that-you cannot compete with a ghost someone refuses to let lie in peace. This becomes even more of a problem for the poor singledom when the ghost himself refuses to lie in peace, but let's not venture into metaphysics. ;) While your point of view is represenative of the cynical strategist who always looks before he leaps, my firsthand experience as a widow (widowers are men) looking for a new partner contradicts it. There are a number of dominants out there who have the ability to knock me to the floor and whom I'd gladly follow like a puppy to the ends of the earth. They are nothing like my former master, either. Just very special dominant men. Unfortunately, none of them are available at the moment, but eventually I expect one who is free will come along, whether on this site or somewhere else. Very early in the grieving process what you've described above does happen. I don't know about the women, as I don't look at their profiles, but I study the maledom profiles very carefully and I see a lot of widowers leaping into the mating game after their wives have been buried less than six months. I really wonder how they can do it. I tend to shy away from those widowers for that reason--maybe it isn't fair to them, but I don't understand how they could be ready so soon. Perhaps you generalize about widows because one or two didn't find you, specifically, to be what she was looking for and making a generalization such as, "she's immortalized her saintly master and no one else will do for her except his clone" is an easy way not to feel rejected or bad that you weren't right for her? Perhaps it was something else, like an overly rigid mindset or an intuition that you did not have her best interests at heart that turned her off to you? It could have been anything, actually. It's so easy to sing a sour grapes song; so much harder to keep going for what you need no matter how hard it is to attain. I'm no exception to this, unfortunately, but although I periodically give up, as an eternal optimist, I always seem to bounce back and try again.

Homestead -> RE: does age matter in a sub (8/30/2006 10:18:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: llkkto quote: ORIGINAL: Homestead Fixations on the past can be difficult to deal with. Try dealing with a widower who exhalted her dead husband to saint status. No one can win in a situation like that-you cannot compete with a ghost someone refuses to let lie in peace. This becomes even more of a problem for the poor singledom when the ghost himself refuses to lie in peace, but let's not venture into metaphysics. ;) While your point of view is represenative of the cynical strategist who always looks before he leaps, my firsthand experience as a widow (widowers are men) looking for a new partner contradicts it. There are a number of dominants out there who have the ability to knock me to the floor and whom I'd gladly follow like a puppy to the ends of the earth. They are nothing like my former master, either. Just very special dominant men. Unfortunately, none of them are available at the moment, but eventually I expect one who is free will come along, whether on this site or somewhere else. Very early in the grieving process what you've described above does happen. I don't know about the women, as I don't look at their profiles, but I study the maledom profiles very carefully and I see a lot of widowers leaping into the mating game after their wives have been buried less than six months. I really wonder how they can do it. I tend to shy away from those widowers for that reason--maybe it isn't fair to them, but I don't understand how they could be ready so soon. Perhaps you generalize about widows because one or two didn't find you, specifically, to be what she was looking for and making a generalization such as, "she's immortalized her saintly master and no one else will do for her except his clone" is an easy way not to feel rejected or bad that you weren't right for her? Perhaps it was something else, like an overly rigid mindset or an intuition that you did not have her best interests at heart that turned her off to you? It could have been anything, actually. It's so easy to sing a sour grapes song; so much harder to keep going for what you need no matter how hard it is to attain. I'm no exception to this, unfortunately, but although I periodically give up, as an eternal optimist, I always seem to bounce back and try again. That's really not it. I see subs doing this with past doms all the time. And vica versa. It's as if they expect to find an ideal. if so,why is he now a "past master?" As far as not seeing to a girl's best interests, I've allowed myself to be used as a toy much more than the reverse. Being objectified, and realizing you ALLOWED it to happen does tend to wear down esteem more than a little. Of all of the partners I have had over the years, exactly one decided to stop seeing me. The heavy masochist I objected to letting play casually with anyone she had a whim to. It was a gift on my birthday.(probably the best I have ever recieved, in retrospect) The rest were pretty much in refference to women who refused to respect my boundaries. We had deals, and they chose to break them. Some did it by cheating, others by expressing mental illnesses that became unhealthy for me to be around. Needless to say I am more careful now. Except in one recent instance of not believing something a certain woman told me, about being broken. And being foolish enough to think I could make a difference. Thank you for the correction, my belief in reality and the need to stick to it is reenforced now.[:D] Fantasy worlds are for losers, and I do not intend to be one of those.

llkkto -> RE: does age matter in a sub (8/30/2006 5:19:37 PM)
You don't need a past dom or a past sub to be desperately searching for an impossible ideal. A large number of people in the personal ads are doing exactly that, most have no past experience at all, as far as I can tell. Some people make a situation from a book their ideal, for example. To get back to the point, to me it just sounds like sour grapes and also false pigeonholing to make up some generic excuse like "he/she is a widow/widower--never go near them becaues they're only looking for their dearly departed in you" rather than to say, "for whatever reason, she and I didn't click." That's why I provided my own experience as a counter example. As I said above, there are several dominant men I have thought would make awesome masters, and, except for one, none was at all like my former master. So your generalization does not hold true, at least not in my case. That's the only point I was making. Well, I was also making the point that generalizations in general do not serve people well because, like slogans or sayings, they shut down thinking and perceiving what is actually there and substitute a sort of false and crudely drawn caricature in its place. I'm also sorry that you, yourself, seem so touchy and bitter. Enjoy your reality, as you call it, if you can, brother, but I personally hope that you will be able to let it go one day.

PhoeniixHasRisen -> RE: does age matter in a sub (9/2/2006 5:04:37 PM)
In response to your question, Does age matter? Most definitly, I am known for my directness and sheer bluntness & Brutal honesty, With this said, "Wake up, Most of these So called Dominants or those that sellf proclaim themselves as such, Will go for the younger Submissives or Slaves, If you disagree that's your right, But don't just take my word for it, Ask your sisters i.e other Slaves or Submissives the age range of Dominants they're contacted by, Ask a One 18 year old this question or a 24 year old, Just pic a younger age, In most cases shes probably approach by men old enough to be her grand dad or close to it. "Now on the flip side to this, there are those Dominants like myself that tend to be attracted by someones intellect rather then age. When it all comes down to it, In the beginning it may be wonderful to be with someone younger or older, But TIME catches up with the age difference and the youngfer one will need someone again...Remember nothing does last forever we live then we pass on. So ask yourself one question, Would it be fair to the younger person or more hurtful later on? I think it depends on the two individuals though, " However, word to the Wise keep the age range between the same age or up to not over than 15 years apart. USE COMMON SENSE. If I ticked anyone off or offended anyone in this posting. " GET OVER IT, That's your issue NOT MINE.

WhippingPostNY -> RE: does age matter in a sub (9/3/2006 10:07:44 AM)
Age, even physical beauty, are factors of attraction - but in an ongoing relationship neither can sustain if other aspects of her persona are ugly or missing. Like, heart, and intelligence. Honesty. The intimacy of telling the truth when it is very hard to do. The softness of surrender. I remember how amazed I was when I told the most physically beautiful young girl I had ever been with to not take her clothes off - and then I put her out of my house. I did not know till that moment that I valued the above attributes of a woman far more than her skin tone. It is a lesson I have never forgotten though. I have been with woman much younger than myself - but would not if she were not "an old soul" and capable of inspiring me intellectually, and otherwise. WP

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: does age matter in a sub (9/3/2006 10:25:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: princessrn im not looking .... but what i found from many mail i had was an underlineing question AGE and when i talked to some people it was stated many go for the younger sub ... is this so ? I find this very interesting. For Me, it is usually the opposite problem. Although I clearly state in My profile that I am seeking someone relatively close to My age (39 - 59), not a day goes by that I don't get responses from "20 somethings." When I was new to the lifestyle, I was open to all age groups and did have a few subs considerably younger than Myself (15 - 20 years younger). Overall, I felt this didn't work out well and now seek those closer to My age, especially since I am seeking someone to be My life partner as well as My slave. Lady Topaz

MasterofDiscipli -> RE: does age matter in a sub (9/4/2006 10:11:47 AM)
Personally age is a fantasy issue for me. Much more important is personality and fit. Pity you had to go all the way to Florida only to find out it didn't work. In some respects, much younger people can be a bit of a pain...they just don't have the experience that (should) come with living (yes, that's a generalization...but to paraphrase Karsh...'Give me an older person, whose life is written in the wrinkles on her flesh, and I will show you her character') and they have different expectations out of life because they grew up in a very different world. There is more to life than the next training session, after all. And sometimes it's nice just to sit before the fire and talk. And yes, I'm a newbie here...but I have been a practicing Dom for over 30 years ;) M

DivaDuchess -> RE: does age matter in a sub (9/4/2006 1:10:02 PM)
lol ... MrDiscipline ... I was 38 when I had our youngest child giggles ... the ovaries still work, trust Me on that one s. As for age, I've had under consideration 3 slaves. One was 47, a year older than My husband, one at 42, a year older than Me and the youngest was 29. All three came with a variety of interests, both ones I could understand and ones that went right over My head. Age matters, to some degree. It's all a matter of what You want. I seem to run the gamet of Lawrence Welk and Usher lol. Just relax and have fun. Someone will see the jewel in everyone at one point. When you reach that point ... then you've found paydirt, no matter the age.

mons -> RE: does age matter in a sub (9/11/2006 5:19:11 AM)
greeting to all i find age is only really a number but with that said i do not want anyone under 30 after that i take all if i like them i like someone with knowlegde and the brains that go with it. no matter how many of the men say they want someone younger trust me they at young in the mind all of the youngs ones and at 20 to about 28 they do not know what they want yet i wonder have anyone of the master taken a younger woman and found her to be wanting out for whatever reasons? so many 20 yearold man wrtie me they are just to young i do not want anyone that young to much nonsense for me. mons

MstrTiger -> RE: does age matter in a sub (9/13/2006 8:11:10 PM)
Yes age matters, though I think it is a shame that it does.

MasterJanus01 -> RE: does age matter in a sub (9/16/2006 11:21:11 AM)
Interesting question indeed! I was searching in here today for a woman who might just be the right person. What are the odds of this occuring? Limited If any but its worth a shot. One did particularly catch my eye due to the profile. Many of the same likes and dislikes a possiblity to get to know someone was my first thought. Upon further reading I saw that she wants someone wiithin a certain height range.. I am short by an inch.....LOL that came out wrong didnt it? Anyway on further inspection I also saw there were other hoops to jump through. I don't concern myself with the age as much as the woman and her desires. How do they fit with mine? Is it possible to have a truly committed relationship with her? Or is she just looking for fun? We all ask these same questions and get the answers one way or another.. Age while it does have meaning is not the deciding factor for me and I believe those who chose to limit themselves are doing at least two people a disservice. Short or tall doesn't matter to me but to some it obviously does. People are people and for that reason there are a variety of desires and wishes, many of which will go unfulfilled if the true universe of choices is narrowed to small numbers by way of a personal need or wish. This does remind me of an old saying though... pertinent to the conversation I do not love her because she is beautiful.... She is beautiful Because I love her. Too bad a limited number of people view it from that standpoint.

sophia37 -> RE: does age matter in a sub (9/16/2006 3:24:27 PM)
Listen. I married a man 16 years older than I. When I went poly I looked for my age and older. I ended up being persued by a man 8 years younger. I tried slamming the door iin his face. He was way persistant. And now, I couldnt be happier with my younger lover. All this simply goes to show that hey, things change in the world. At one point you might like older, at another point your partner may be your age or younger. It's a real big eye opener to me. But I'm glad for the new perspective.

SirStephan55 -> RE: does age matter in a sub (9/17/2006 8:09:26 PM)
No it doesn't. My slave is most half my age - but she is the one who approached me (not online and purely vanilla). It was only after that that she discovered she was first a sub and then later a slave. Now we both have profiles here and are extremely happy with each other. Neither of us had aver been with (or even considered) anyone before with such an age difference.

Johnandkat -> RE: does age matter in a sub (10/4/2007 1:03:56 PM)
Honestly, it has been my experience, that age is not a factor for a play only relationship. However age does become a factor for a commited relationship, such as living together.

mytruth2u -> RE: does age matter in a sub (10/4/2007 5:05:49 PM)
I don’t think that age should matter. it is the attitude of the person. I am 26 and am currently courting a 36 yr Dom. I contacted him because i felt that his personality called to me. i think that it is the maturity that can make a difference. Because of some issues i have had to deal with in my life i don’t feel like i can connect really well to guys my own age but that being said if i met a younger Dom that had the maturity i would happily submit to him. i mate soul to soul minor things like age don’t matter. Age is just a number. i have seen immature older men and very mature younger men. In your heart you'll know if it’s right for you. It is true that some Dom’s only want younger subs but that their loss. Your inner beauty will shine through and the Dom that sees that is the Dom that is worthy of you. :-) truth

SexyBlackMan2 -> RE: does age matter in a sub (10/4/2007 5:54:35 PM)
There are many that have no preference on age. I have had young subs and slaves. I currently have one slave and one in training that are both at least 15 years older. Honestly, I tend to prefer them slightly older because of maturity and not wanting to play games. Also, they KNOW they are sub or slave and not just want occasional play. Don't worry about age at all.

NightWindWhisper -> RE: does age matter in a sub (10/4/2007 6:44:03 PM)
Age matters to some, for various reasons. You are 41--that seems "young" to me. I would love to father a child--which does place practical age limits, but that may change after a few years if that does not happen and then my acceptable age range will expand. I believe that women are in their sexual "prime" between 38-45 and you're right in the middle. But sure, it does matter to some, and it's not necessarily just men. Many times I think the problem is that many of us "pre-define" parameters, where if we were to meet in real life, it is more a matter of perception than mere numbers. In my career I see sixty year old individuals that look, act and have the physiology (Range of Motion, Cardio-vascular fitness, Strength, skin flexibility) of a 45 year old, and inversely I see many 36 year old individuals who appear, using the same criteria, as being sixty. Sun-damage, excessive alcohol or drugs, stress, disease and poor nutrition will do that. lilsubl mentioned "younger and thinner," and often thinner is perceived as younger, and healthier (and using the above criteria--in fact thinner often (but not always) does relate to a younger perceived age than chronological age. Oddly I felt the oldest that I have ever felt, for some reason, when I was 27. So I re-invented myself with a physical fitness program and it worked and I felt so good that I've continued it to this day. If a person can make herself heathier, then do it, for there is much to gain, including, I think, attractiveness. And if a person cannot--well, we all age--and we age at the same rate.

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125