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GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS - 8/23/2006 9:02:22 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." --- Stephen Bishop

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." --  Winston Churchill (about Clement Atlee)

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." --- Irvin S. Cobb

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." --- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a  reader to the dictionary."--- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." --- Samuel Johnson

"He had delusions of adequacy." --- Walter Kerr

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't  it." --- Groucho Marx

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." --- Thomas Brackett Reed

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." --- Forrest Tucker

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter  saying I approved of it." --- Mark Twain "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." ---Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
--- Oscar Wilde

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." --- Oscar Wilde

He has Van Gogh's ear for music." --- Billy Wilder
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RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS - 8/26/2006 9:33:53 PM   
MistressWolfen


Posts: 578
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		*lol* love them, I have collected famous insults for years as well.

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Quoth the raven

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS - 8/27/2006 5:36:46 PM   
MistressTexas


Posts: 425
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline 		I'm about to make a royal ass of myself, but here goes. The reason for assery being that I can't remember who the female is.

Female: If I were your wife, that drink would have poison in it.
Winston Churchill: If you were my wife, I'd drink it.

(in reply to MistressWolfen)
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RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS - 8/27/2006 5:48:23 PM   
Saratov


Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		Think I may be royalty too.  I think the man is the Toastmaster General.
Conversation held at a snooty big bucks dinner.

Man (to lady seated next to him):  Would you consider going to bed w/ me for a million dollars?
Lady(some what taken aback): What?  Well, I suppose I might consider it.
Man: How about for ten dollars?
Lady(looking insulted) Why, what do you take me for?  A common prostitute?
Man: Madam, we've already established that.  We are now discussing price.

(in reply to MistressTexas)
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RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS - 8/27/2006 7:05:45 PM   
CreoleCook


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline 		"I drank what?"  ~Socrates, after being told he just drank hemlock.

(in reply to Saratov)
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RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS - 8/31/2006 11:07:05 AM   
vonzott


Posts: 39
Joined: 2/26/2005
From: San Diego, CA
Status: offline 		No need to feel weird about not remembering names... guys are experts at it!

The lady in question is Churchill's long-time enemy, Lady Astor.  The fun part is that usually these kind of quotes didn't *really* happen, but it turns out that these did!

Another from the Churchill/Astor back-and-forth:
Lady Astor: "Sir!  You are drunk!"
Churchill: "My dear, this is true.  But in the morning I shall be sober, but you, I'm afraid, will still be ugly..."

It really happened!  Gotta love someone who can come up with great lines even when drunk!
-vz

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vonzott
proud slave to Domina Angelina
    - so many Dominant Women, none as wonderful as She

(in reply to MistressTexas)
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RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS - 8/31/2006 11:13:11 AM   
vonzott


Posts: 39
Joined: 2/26/2005
From: San Diego, CA
Status: offline 		Johnny Mercer, who wrote lyrics for many great songs like, "Autumn Leaves" and "Satin Doll" and maybe a few hundred others, was asked what he thought of a particular song.  His reply is my all time favorite insult, delivered with a straight face.  "I could eat alphabet soup and shit better lyrics than that"

I love that guy!
- vz

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vonzott
proud slave to Domina Angelina
    - so many Dominant Women, none as wonderful as She

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS - 8/31/2006 1:24:34 PM   
Saratov


Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		 Ask him to prove it.

(in reply to vonzott)
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RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS - 9/1/2006 2:48:49 PM   
vonzott


Posts: 39
Joined: 2/26/2005
From: San Diego, CA
Status: offline 		Since he's one of my absolute heroes, I shall not.  Besides... he's dead...

_____________________________

vonzott
proud slave to Domina Angelina
    - so many Dominant Women, none as wonderful as She

(in reply to Saratov)
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RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS - 9/22/2006 11:17:21 PM   
MistressTexas


Posts: 425
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Saratov

Think I may be royalty too.  I think the man is the Toastmaster General.
Conversation held at a snooty big bucks dinner.

Man (to lady seated next to him):  Would you consider going to bed w/ me for a million dollars?
Lady(some what taken aback): What?  Well, I suppose I might consider it.
Man: How about for ten dollars?
Lady(looking insulted) Why, what do you take me for?  A common prostitute?
Man: Madam, we've already established that.  We are now discussing price.


For the record, a few friends and I bet another friend he didnt have the balls to pull that. He said the 50$ didn't quite make up for the black eye, but it was sooo worth it.

(in reply to Saratov)
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RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS - 9/23/2006 1:02:13 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: vonzott

The lady in question is Churchill's long-time enemy, Lady Astor.  The fun part is that usually these kind of quotes didn't *really* happen, but it turns out that these did!

Another from the Churchill/Astor back-and-forth:
Lady Astor: "Sir!  You are drunk!"
Churchill: "My dear, this is true.  But in the morning I shall be sober, but you, I'm afraid, will still be ugly..."

It really happened!  Gotta love someone who can come up with great lines even when drunk!
-vz


actually, sory to dissapoint, but it was the other way round. The coffee one happened, not this one. This was Winston "Journalising", and actually quoting WC Fields for his own purposes

As his grandson puts it. "Oh, I'm sure Pug said it, just not at the time"

]v[

(in reply to vonzott)
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RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS - 9/25/2006 7:50:25 PM   
Rafters


Posts: 266
Joined: 3/9/2006
Status: offline 		Or the time some lord prodded Churchills bulging belly and uttered "that should be on a woman", Churchill winked and said "half an hour ago, it was"

(in reply to vonzott)
Profile   Post #: 12
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