RE: Throwing In the Towel

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RE: Throwing In the Towel - 8/28/2006 1:25:36 PM

MissUnleaded

Posts: 60
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline

I once fell in love with a guy for his intellect and personality and tried to turn him into my Master. Well that didn't work! He was not only not dominant he even had mildy submissive tendencies. There was nothing remotely perverted about the guy (unless you consider a penchant for 'lesbian porn' perverted). I remember the one time he tried to dominate me just to make me happy. It was the most unfulfilling encounter I have ever had.

I then tried dominating him, and it was kind of fun but not really my thing, so we settled down into a conventional vanilla lifestyle together. I didn't like that aspect of the relationship but he appealed to me on so many other levels that I lived with it.

In the end he left me for a life of adventure and philandering in another country. Once I got over it I was glad, as it left me to look for someone who satisfies me on all levels.

I am pretty sure I have found him.

Anyway, I don't see how anyone could ever really 'leave'. I don't think it's a phase, or something you grow out of. You can suppress it for a while but you won't be truly happy and fulfilled. I wasn't, anyway.

(in reply to Hercuckslave)

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RE: Throwing In the Towel - 8/28/2006 1:39:17 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissUnleaded

Anyway, I don't see how anyone could ever really 'leave'. I don't think it's a phase, or something you grow out of. You can suppress it for a while but you won't be truly happy and fulfilled. I wasn't, anyway.

You are most correct. I have opted to pursue other aspects of the lifestyle that I find appealing. I believe our experiences, both good and bad lead us to the place we are meant to be. I appreciate all the opinions shared and personal stories. Your insight has been most beneficial.

porcelaine

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His will; my fate.

(in reply to MissUnleaded)

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RE: Throwing In the Towel - 8/29/2006 6:02:25 PM

DrawntotheFlame

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/18/2006
Status: offline

The questions really seems to be why walk away? If you find this lifestyle unfullfilling, then one can decide to walk away. It may be hard but we are free moral agents. Its not breed in us. The example of someone being gay and then deciding not to be gay, the comment was made that is who they are. This is not true, many have found they could change and decide not to practice, its a choice. Some have decided that it gives them structure and so why would they leave? For me, I have a curiuosity about this lifestyle, yet it has been very unfullfilling. I don't conside walking away, I've never started the walk to begin with. Regardless, we have a choice, what we decide to do and how we decide to see things is a choice in itself.

(in reply to porcelaine)

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RE: Throwing In the Towel - 8/29/2006 9:42:32 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

I've been without a sub for almost two years now.
But that doesn't mean I'm interested in a vanilla (shudder) lifestyle.
I could have plenty of vanilla dates but for what?
I'll simply wait until I can find a sub who wants to be involved with me and who fits my requirements.

(in reply to DrawntotheFlame)

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Post #: 44

RE: Throwing In the Towel - 8/29/2006 10:13:52 PM

SexyRed

Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline

I think for those of us involved in this lifestyle, it is both a blessing and a curse.

It is a blessing when you find someone compatible and a joy to be in a relationship with.

It is a curse when you find someone who is the spark to your flame in one sense, but it does not work in any other part of the relationship.

That lack of fulfillment makes me wish I could be vanilla and not require or desire what I need and want. But I have no choice, this is an integral part of who I am, it is burned into me, heart, mind, soul and body and it will always be here.

I agree that although the journey to find fulfillment is so difficult and often painful, it would be worse to settle for something else.

But I do understand that the concept of throwing in the towel, I often find myself saying I am giving up, but I never do.

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(in reply to popeye1250)

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Post #: 45