RE: How Honest Should Friendship Be?

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RE: How Honest Should Friendship Be? - 10/21/2006 9:08:18 AM

Lordandmaster

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It's a very difficult question, and I don't think there's an answer that's always right. I believe that friends have to be completely honest with each other, or else they're not really friends--but that doesn't mean you have to keep harping on an issue once it's clear that your friend isn't ready to see things your way. I think you have an obligation to tell your friend how you feel, and to make sure that your friend understands that you're saying this for his or her own benefit; if the friend doesn't want to hear more, then I think you have to step back and let the events unfold.

quote:

ORIGINAL: babysburnin

As an observer, it's so easy to see (as I know my "mistakes" were seen by others close to me). How honest should a friend be? I've always opted for being supportive, and letting them discover for themselves. What if they need the perverbial "kick in the ass", what if they are disillusioning themselves? What if they are not emotionally ready to accept the truth, and therefore, why they are in their state of denial?

Do I "gently" push them into discovery, or do I just stay supportive and listen?

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RE: How Honest Should Friendship Be? - 10/21/2006 10:00:59 AM

agirl

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I think there are many *types* and levels of friendships and continuing to be the friend that they are used to, is a good idea. They'll either know your thoughts and feelings if you're close and share that type of relationship, or they won't and they may not welcome it.

I think it's probably a good thing to continue to be the person they expect you to be, in situations of this kind,whatever capacity that may be.

agirl

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RE: How Honest Should Friendship Be? - 10/22/2006 2:34:04 PM

theRose4U

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There are these things we hear about often called consent and free will. Even with a wee one she has the free will to leave and consents every morning when she wakes up to stay. It doesn't matter whether you feel that she doesn't belong there. As long as she continues to consent to stay where she is she's the one that is responsible for the consequences. We all hope that others will open their eyes to things that we find wrong in their lives. Free will says that we move on and at least attempt to cope with their choice until they change their mind.

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RE: How Honest Should Friendship Be? - 10/30/2006 6:07:26 PM

babysburnin

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Thank you for your thoughtful reply, and I send your sister all the best.

We all make choices. Some choices when we are young and don't know ourselves fully, some choices because we have invested so much in another person, some choices for the children, and some choices because of the program in our head that tells us how things should be - how we want them to be, whether that's reality or not.

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