dreamtiger61
Posts: 17
Joined: 11/28/2005 Status: offline
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I wanted to thank you for your post on this subject. I wish, I had heard the information you presented much sooner. Right now, I am dealing with my own traumatic situation and trying to heal the pain inside of myself. I refuse to allow anyone to make me a victim and have set out to wake up others who might fall victim to another person. In an effort to help educate others, I have shared your post on another lifestyle site as you presented it here giving you credit as its author. It is far too important to keep this information to this site only as others out there need to become fully aware of what can happen and how to prevent the mindset of victim. This lifestyle was meant to be safe, sane and consental. Unfortunately, predators take advantage of others and prey on their trust, lack of experiences or knowledge. People who have been in this lifestyle for many years could also be at risk. Don't let your guard down people. Predators can be very charming and they fool even the most educated and knowledgable people in the lifestyle as well as the inexperienced and needy lonely person. Safe words are only as good as the people who respect or don't respect them. Telling someone to stop will only work if the other person listens. If the other person does not listen, a safe word is useless or ineffective. If you chose to speak out, expect the bdsm community to come down on you for doing it. Confidentiality is good in this lifestyle to a point but there are times where educating others to a real and potiential danger might mean talking about things that have happened. In the process, others might be saved rather than fall victim. Meeting others through online groups, the local bdsm club, or even in any public place in your city does not guarantee that you might not fall victim. Even with the best education and safety precautions it still could happen to you. Keep safe and take matters into your own hands if necessary such as good self defense training. Even self defense is not a sure fire way to stop from becoming a victim. I don't want to sound like we all have to stop having fun. This lifestyle has its fun and good points. We all need to educate ourselves to help us keep our play safe, sane and consential at all times. Respect someone's limits and if someone tells you they do not like something that means it is a good chance that it is one of their limits. It is very important to ask questions and to communicate but even this is no guarantee but it helps.
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