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RE: Asking for a Collar - 8/26/2006 4:09:36 AM

twicehappy

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I was offered mine, i think the dominant/s offering a collar is probably more common.

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Post #: 21

Who Should Ask? - 8/26/2006 12:49:54 PM

MisstressStella

Posts: 26
Joined: 7/3/2006
From: Birmingham, Alabama
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Here is my personal protocol. I have general conversation with a potential subbie. I ask them general questions about themselves and their interests. I do ask if they are seeking to be collared by a Dominant as a general question not specific to me.

Once I get to know the subbie, I tell them if they would like to be considered by me for a collar, they need to ask me to consider them for a collar and ownership.

So to simply answer your question, I say the sub should ask to be collared. The sub should freely and voluntarily give them self to you and not feel pressured or cornered.

If they freely come to you, then they are yours! At that time, you can take time to "consider" them for a collar.

Once I decide to collar a sub, I pick a special time and place to collar them. I make it very special and present them with their own collar.

By the way, collaring a slave is a huge commitment on both sides. My sub has been with me eight years and I have a newbie that has requested my consideration.

Lady Stella

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Post #: 22

RE: Who Should Ask? - 8/26/2006 12:55:05 PM

AnAtlantaDom

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Joined: 7/13/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MisstressStella

So to simply answer your question, I say the sub should ask to be collared. The sub should freely and voluntarily give them self to you and not feel pressured or cornered.

If they freely come to you, then they are yours! At that time, you can take time to "consider" them for a collar.

I fully concur w/ Stella

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Post #: 23

RE: Who Should Ask? - 8/26/2006 2:08:21 PM

ShreveportMaster

Posts: 899
Joined: 10/6/2004
From: Dallas, Tx
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Tal,
I can answer only from the Gorean perspective. Because We practice Consensual slavery, and not submission, it is necessary for the one who desires to become property to beg collar. It will be the last completely free decision she will ever make, and it is vital that it be completely her choice, and entirely her desire; because once that collar goes on (or anklet in My case. I prefer the neck bare for nibbling, and I love the sound of slave bells on an anklet as she moves) her life at that point becomes entirely about serving her Master.
Good question.
I wish you well,
Shreve

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Post #: 24

RE: Who Should Ask? - 8/26/2006 5:15:33 PM

D1961wildchild

Posts: 17
Joined: 6/20/2006
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I don't know if this will help but this is my story...

I talked with Him, I met Him, after a little while I asked Him to consider me, He presented me with a collar of consideration ... we have been together for almost a year.
We live complicated lives and like most things have our ups and downs and we are working through it all and I have faith we will make it. As for a full collar well that is His decision ... He will offer it when He feels we are ready and I will continue to try to be worthy of that moment.

warm smiles to all

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RE: Asking for a Collar - 8/26/2006 5:42:40 PM

DivaDuchess

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Joined: 8/17/2006
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Well, there were two that received the training collar, house collar, then personal collar. Two were 'sold' (by their request, which was very fun for Me) and one I on loan to a friend of mine. The other 4 slaves got as far as the house collar, then ... things started to change. In all instances ... I petty much told them to put the damn thing on and shut up. Only used those words after they begged for the collar.

Much, though, depends on the Dom/Domme's particular way of doing things and the slave He/She ownes.

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RE: Asking for a Collar - 8/26/2006 7:28:48 PM

cloudboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

My current slave requested my collar.

I think its tricky to be married as you are and have a collared slave as well. You've either got your your poly "i's dotted and t's crossed or you have an ornamental way of describing your relationships.

I'm curious, is this slave a live-in, and how does he relate to your husband? How is your husband w/you having a collared slave?

This is territory few people can navigate.

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Post #: 27

RE: Who Should Ask? - 8/29/2006 5:43:50 AM

MisstressStella

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Joined: 7/3/2006
From: Birmingham, Alabama
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Thank you AnAtlantaDom , Stella

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Post #: 28

RE: Asking for a Collar - 8/29/2006 7:52:18 AM

kisshou

Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
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I had to work my ass off for the priviledge of begging his collar.

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Post #: 29

RE: Asking for a Collar - 8/29/2006 11:10:15 AM

withthesewings

Posts: 29
Joined: 8/9/2006
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I feel the same way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead
I dislike trends and fads like "collars".

When it works, it does, and I find it rather insecure to have to symbolize that.

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Post #: 30

RE: Asking for a Collar - 8/29/2006 11:49:56 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

My current slave requested my collar.

I think its tricky to be married as you are and have a collared slave as well. You've either got your your poly "i's dotted and t's crossed or you have an ornamental way of describing your relationships.

I'm curious, is this slave a live-in, and how does he relate to your husband? How is your husband w/you having a collared slave?

This is territory few people can navigate.

We began as play partners. Slave asked for my collar..I enjoyed what I was doing and hubby could see it.. we all talked.. I had my husband set the boundaries he was comfortable with. Over the years the play and aging smoothes to friendship It's still difficult for him.. but we keep our perspectives. We are a D/s couple and go to events that are D/s related.. munches and such where my husband would be bored stiff.

Slave is also married. He 38 years..me and mine 33 years. After that time you know your spouse pretty well. My hubby knows I'm a tad on the wild side.. but I don't abuse it. Slave's wife is afraid to ask :)

It's not easy to stand with one foot in two worlds.

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 8/29/2006 12:35:02 PM >

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