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asianchloe -> RE: Dominants who desire Anal (4/7/2009 11:00:28 AM)
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I do agree that a dominant who is receiving oral sex from his/her sub is a bottom in that scenario. I find it useful to have distinctions in the meaning of Top/Bottom due to who is giving (Top) and receiving (Bottom).
As Wiki says,
In BDSM, top means:
* a dominant partner in sexual play (such as flogging, binding, being master, and humiliating)
* a partner who applies stimulation to another, and who may or may not be dominant
quote:
ORIGINAL: LouisDonatien
I should have been more explicit. My use of the words "Top" and "Bottom" has nothing to do with the power dynamic between partners. For that I use the terms "Dominant" and "submissive". I have found these pairs of words useful in my BDSM community to distinguish between the physical acts and the power dynamics. And by the way, I only use the words "Topping" and "Bottoming" to refer specifically to the delivery of physical pain in an erotic scenario - NOT to just any physical acts (giving/receiving tax returns, giving/receiving gits, etc.). (But I realize now that according to my own use of the words, the giving/receiving of a massage would certainly not necessarily be Topping/Bottoming. )
Again, this is simply the terminology that I have found useful in my own BDSM community.
Long ago, I watched a BDSM play scene that went like this. There was a woman on her hands and knees on the end of a bed, with her butt facing the end of the bed. Standing at the foot of the bed, about 3 feet away from the woman's butt, was a man with a flogger. The man was flogging the woman (who was loving it!) as SHE barked out orders to him to do so, and HE was completely submissive, dutifully carrying out her orders and answering "Yes ma'am". Later he used other toys to perform ministrations to her - under her strict orders. As it turns out, this man was one of her submissives, and she his Dominant. And as I learned later, they often played in this manner, but always, even during this kind of play, she was extremely Dominant toward him and he extremely submissive to her. This style of play of theirs did not alter one iota their D/s power dynamic.
So what words shall I use to refer to just the physical activities I witnessed as separate from their power dynamics? As I have said, I have found in my BDSM community that the words "Topping" and "Bottoming" are efficatious in communicating this distinction.
But let's remember that these words are our slaves. If someone finds it useful to employ these words in a different manner than I, then that's fine. Even if you find it useful to treat the word "Top" as a synonym for "Dominant" and the word "Bottom" as a synonym for "submissive", then that's super, if if helps you communicate.
My ACTUAL point in my post was, the physical receipt of anal penetration and the physical delivery of anal penetration do NOT necessarily imply an act of social submission and Dominance, respectively.
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