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Various forms of Deprivation - do many use them? - 8/26/2006 8:07:19 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Orgasm denial might be the first thing that pops into many people's heads in reference to this question, and that is a form of deprivation, certainly.

*But - I am mostly wondering about other forms of deprivation , and maybe on a longer-term basis (a few days to a few months? )- for instance, deprivation of food, sex (chastity), or an activity cherished by the submissive - bdsm-related or not (practicing a hobby, or depriving them of something they've been looking forward to doing, for example).

I have a recurring fantasy, for instance, that I've been looking forward to an out-of-town trip to visit an old friend, and on the day I am supposed to leave, my Dominant tells me I cannot go (knowing this will be a huge disappointment to me), and then really enjoys watching me cry, and plead to be allowed to go, and keeps refusing to let me, and then to top it off, he immediately makes me do something service-oriented for him (I'll admit that's sadistic, but it must do something for me, because I frequently think about this fantasy).

I also have a chastity-oriented fantasy where I am deprived of vaginal sex, or masturbating, but am "teased" on a daily basis by a Dominant who does things like stroking my hair and kissing me, or stroking my skin in "strategic" spots, knowing this will make me want sex even more, and then not giving it to me. But - in my fantasies, the Dominant is always very gentle about it when they tell me "No" (but, they do tell me "No").

So anyway - you get the idea; these are just a few examples of what I think "deprivation" can entail.
*I want to know what others actually do (or would like to do), as far as deprivation, or what they've experienced with it. Or, if they don't like doing this, (or experiencing it) maybe say why not?

*I am also wondering if there are many Doms and Dommes who do not consider themselves to be particulary sadistic (if at all) who use this with their submissives or slaves. Sadists are of course also welcome to answer.

I realize depriving a submissive or slave of something can be used as a punishment or a form of discipline, and also as a form of "play" - and am wondering what particular deprivatons people use with submissives/slaves in each circumstance.

I am taking for granted that doing it at all would be consensual, of course.

Thanks for any replies.  

- Susan   

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/26/2006 8:47:07 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson
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RE: Deprivation as a form of bdsm "play" or &... - 8/26/2006 8:11:56 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		I took away the vibrators of a girl who abused them to the point of to being able to orgasm any other way. It took about three months for her deadened nerves to recover enough to be stimulated by gentler means again.

She wasn;t terribly happy during that time, but realized that it was for a good reason when her cunt healed.

(in reply to SusanofO)
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RE: Deprivation as a form of bdsm "play" or &... - 8/26/2006 8:13:50 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for the reply, Homestead. I appreciate it.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Homestead)
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RE: Deprivation as a form of bdsm "play" or &... - 8/26/2006 8:17:16 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I dont consider myself sadistic at all, but I do use deprivation to keep my boy in line.  Mainly its masturbation deprivation.  He goes 2 weeks or so at a time without being allowed to touch himself. Aside from taking away his guitar for a week, the only other deprivation I can ever think of was not allowing him tot alk to me on the phone for a while becasue he had mouthed off. It was a difficult 2 weeks for both of us, since we went from talking every day to nothing at all, but he learned his lesson.

Not sure if this is quite what your thinking, but its my expereince.

Any other deprivation I'll have to get back to you once I have him around for more thana  few days at a time.

DV

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(in reply to Homestead)
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RE: Deprivation as a form of bdsm "play" or &... - 8/26/2006 8:18:46 PM   
SusanofO


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Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks, Diurnal. Yes, that is along the lines of what I am asking about.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
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RE: Deprivation as a form of bdsm "play" or &... - 8/26/2006 8:28:41 PM   
MzMinx


Posts: 277
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		hmmm *smiles*  I also  would say its more a control thing than strictly  sadistic 

but yes I have and do use   orgsam control/denial ... which is yummm


but other things as apropriate ..... sometimes simply to enjoy the dynamic of experiencing the control .... other times as part of reward/punishment for behaviour

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RE: Deprivation as a form of bdsm "play" or &... - 8/26/2006 8:32:56 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		MzMinx: Yes, feeling the Dominant's control is definitely the part I relish about this activity, too.

- Susan


_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to MzMinx)
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RE: Deprivation (variouse types)- do you like, or use t... - 8/26/2006 9:10:53 PM   
SusanofO


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Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Not sure why that quote box was posted here when I had not added any comments a few minutes ago...sorry (oops. It's late and I must be tired). Thanks to all who have answered so far.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/26/2006 9:15:37 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to SusanofO)
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RE: Various forms of Deprivation - do many use them? - 8/26/2006 9:28:45 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I have no problems using it.  Heck, I've LONG held a fantasy of taking someone to a party, getting them all dressed up and hyped for a party, and then telling them they have to sit in the car the entire night as I walk in and leave them completely alone.

Ahhhhh :)

However, the reason I choose not to deny something, is usually because it means denying ME something that I want.  If I love the look in their eyes when I do a certain activity, then not doing it just denies me what I want.

Luckily my older partner LOVES teasing and denial as well.  It's a great match.

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(in reply to SusanofO)
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RE: Various forms of Deprivation - do many use them? - 8/26/2006 9:31:26 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for the answer, LA.
(I was starting to wonder when someone else would reply).

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Deprivation as a form of bdsm "play" or &... - 8/26/2006 9:37:45 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Susan, I wouldn't use vaginal intercourse control because I like to use a sub/slave twice a day so that would be like punishing myself but I'd take my pleasure and forbid her to cum.
I might use "sight control" as deprivation, not letting her look at me for a couple of days.
And in that vein I just got a brandnew bondage hood!
As for orgasm control I'd get my sub worked up real good in the morning and not let her cum until say 8 pm that night and ask her what time it is 4 or 5 times during the day.
That could be pretty sadistic, letting her walk around like that all day and teasing her; "aw what's the matter little girl, is your pussy twitching, do you want to cum?"
Among my toys and equipment is a pair of what's called "Grope Panties." The sub puts them on and there is a patch of rubber nubs placed strategically to fit over the clit and pussy and they're tight so as to push the nubs into the pussy.
I can assure you that wearing those for four hours for a trip to the Mall or out to the various tourist attractions in the area walking around and being stimulated continuously and being under orders not to cum can be a severe form of deprivation!
Four hours would seem like four days.
I don't think I'd do something like you describe like a trip or a hobby or anything like that, to me that's just cruel.
Anything I did would involve denying sexual pleasure and orgasms pretty much.
One thing I'd like to try sometime is an all day bondage session, with water, bathroom breaks only and a lot of stimulation sans orgasm and having sex movies to watch in the video machine.

(in reply to SusanofO)
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RE: Various forms of Deprivation - do many use them? - 8/26/2006 9:40:11 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Thanks for the answer, LA.
(I was starting to wonder when someone else would reply).

- Susan

It's Sat night in the US- I'd hope as few people as possible would be on this site just reading and posting.  Hope they are all out having great fun in the offline world!

Which obviously means I have no life right now :)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SusanofO)
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RE: Various forms of Deprivation - do many use them? - 8/26/2006 9:41:11 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		Things taken for granted cease to be when denied.

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RE: Deprivation as a form of bdsm "play" or &... - 8/26/2006 9:46:52 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		P.S. as for a little deprivation after denying your sub all day you could tie her to the bed at 8 that night gag her and say; "Oh, did I say 8? I really meant 10 so I'll see you in two hours."

(in reply to popeye1250)
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RE: Deprivation as a form of bdsm "play" or &... - 8/26/2006 9:54:46 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

MzMinx: Yes, feeling the Dominant's control is definitely the part I relish about this activity, too.

- Susan
Susan, with a pair of "Grope Panties" on the sub would "feel" the Dominant's control everytime she took a step.

(in reply to SusanofO)
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RE: Deprivation as a form of bdsm "play" or &... - 8/26/2006 10:05:37 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

I took away the vibrators of a girl who abused them to the point of to being able to orgasm any other way. It took about three months for her deadened nerves to recover enough to be stimulated by gentler means again.

She wasn;t terribly happy during that time, but realized that it was for a good reason when her cunt healed.


That poor girl really should have been speaking to me. Thank heavens my toys are safe. *winks*

...........

In regard to the question, I have endured sexual deprivation, enjoyment of hobbies, and contact with the individual when my behavior warranted it. Which it didn't, he was merely a wee bit strange.

Like you chastity is appealing and I would thoroughly enjoy formal waist training too. I would see the latter as more of a deprived way of comfort. But one I'm willing to endure for the results.

porcelaine

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RE: Various forms of Deprivation - do many use them? - 8/26/2006 10:11:35 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		LA: Well, I know it's Saturday eve, and that's why the reply rate is lower, yes. I hope everyone is out having fun, too. I don't think that means we who are on-line right now don't have lives, per se - the older I get, the more I just sometimes stay home because I want to stay home. I've done all of the bar hopping and partying I think I could ever possibly want to do (truly). This might sound boring, but - sometimes a good book really can make for a nice night (for me). Other times, I do seem to crave some stimulating activity (not bdsm related) - like a play or dinner out, or a museum, and when I want that, then I do go. I think some couples don't even go out on the town every week-end, though. I am also waiting to date until I am feeling more "stable". I sometimes also go out on weeknights with people (just don't stay out as late as I would if it was a week-end). Also, these message boards can be just fascinating to me, at times. I love reading what everyone has to say, I really enjoy it.

popeye: Thanks for the reply. Well, orgasm deinal is attractive to me also. It's just plain hot. i just didn't bring it up because I wanted to know about other things people do for deprivation (which you did tell me, a bit) - because I haven't talked to many who don't appreciate orgasm denial.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/26/2006 10:21:23 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Deprivation as a form of bdsm "play" or &... - 8/26/2006 10:14:16 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

I took away the vibrators of a girl who abused them to the point of to being able to orgasm any other way. It took about three months for her deadened nerves to recover enough to be stimulated by gentler means again.

She wasn;t terribly happy during that time, but realized that it was for a good reason when her cunt healed.


That poor girl really should have been speaking to me. Thank heavens my toys are safe. *winks*

...........

In regard to the question, I have endured sexual deprivation, enjoyment of hobbies, and contact with the individual when my behavior warranted it. Which it didn't, he was merely a wee bit strange.

Like you chastity is appealing and I would thoroughly enjoy formal waist training too. I would see the latter as more of a deprived way of comfort. But one I'm willing to endure for the results.

porcelaine


Goodness she was using one of those godawful war hammer things, set on stun to get, off.

When she showed up with a blood blister on her clit, it was the last straw. Very few things can squick me, but that sort of masochism managed it. Deprivation is usually something I practice with a very reptilian mindset. There has to be some educational merit-even if it is only me that is being educated. I like to see what property is capable of achieving with my influence.

As far as wiast training etc...is concerned, I sew, I make things out of various materials. So my potential in a lot of physical things far outstrips what most are capable of doing. But that is only a very small part of redirecting the input terminal.

It's what is happening in the processing unit that I want to have a grasp of. I want to grok the source code.

(in reply to porcelaine)
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RE: Various forms of Deprivation - do many use them? - 8/26/2006 10:15:22 PM   
mistoferin


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
It's Sat night in the US- I'd hope as few people as possible would be on this site just reading and posting.  Hope they are all out having great fun in the offline world!


Well there was a munch tonight but it's about an hours drive and at the time I should have been heading out to it, it was raining at a rate of 4 inches an hour. Ahhhhh.....the joys of living in Michigan.

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RE: Deprivation as a form of bdsm "play" or &... - 8/26/2006 10:18:21 PM   
SusanofO


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Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Homestead: Waist training - you mean corset training? I am fascinated with corsets, too. I plan to buy one when I can afford it better (I actually can do that now, but have other stuff going, like re-modelling parts of the house, and can't "train' that way, just now).

What do you mean by "grok the source code"? Intimately understand a submissive or slave's psychological motications and how to manipulate them?

- Susan  



_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Homestead)
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