I always do have to learn the hard way.

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I always do have to learn the hard way. - 8/27/2006 10:44:25 PM

captiveplatypus

Posts: 382
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

So I was someone's posession, or someone's consideration, only to have them totally disappear on me like some apparition. I figured going into it if it seemed too good to be true, it probably was, and sure enough I was right.

It's so difficult wanting to be a submissive, meaning you should give of yourself so much, but with each trust I allow to be abused my ability to trust wanes. That is life, I guess, growing from naive and trustworthy to further being wise and jaded, cautious, callous.

Tossed aside again. I go on.

Post #: 1

RE: I always do have to learn the hard way. - 8/27/2006 10:52:02 PM

Owned1

Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline

Do not consider yourself tossed aside, consider the fool who you were talking with showed true colours before you became even more involved.

There are real people on here, they may seem far and few between but there are. Keep the faith, just enjoy yourself, when the time is right the one you are meant to be with will be revealed.

Feel free to contact me if you need someone to talk to

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 2

RE: I always do have to learn the hard way. - 8/27/2006 10:52:33 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

oh honey, theres all kinds of jagweeds out there. Dont waste another moment letting this cad sap your positive energy. Put out good and good will come back. Nothing that anyone does to you can ever change that, but ya gotta let go of the anger so that the good stuff can find its way in. Send him a letter, purge your feelings, tell him what a rat bastard he is, then turn your back, never look behind you in regards to this and go on with a positive attitude so that those who seek value, will know that you having something positive to give rather than something to carry in the form of a chip on your shoulder. If you stay mad, you give this scumbag a controlling effect on your future endeavors. you simply cant allow that to happen. Until you let go of it, he forever owns you.

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 3

RE: I always do have to learn the hard way. - 8/27/2006 10:53:09 PM

captiveplatypus

Posts: 382
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

Thank you, Owned. I gave up days ago on him but just found myself in a blue and emo mood tonight over it.

(in reply to Owned1)

Post #: 4

RE: I always do have to learn the hard way. - 8/27/2006 10:56:04 PM

Owned1

Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: captiveplatypus

Thank you, Owned. I gave up days ago on him but just found myself in a blue and emo mood tonight over it.

There is nothing wrong with having a good emo mood just dont get trapped in it. Wallow in the dark feeling then let it leave you and move on to your normal upbeat self.

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 5

RE: I always do have to learn the hard way. - 8/27/2006 10:56:55 PM

captiveplatypus

Posts: 382
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Owned1

quote:

ORIGINAL: captiveplatypus

Thank you, Owned. I gave up days ago on him but just found myself in a blue and emo mood tonight over it.

There is nothing wrong with having a good emo mood just dont get trapped in it. Wallow in the dark feeling then let it leave you and move on to your normal upbeat self.

Owned

*tries to bounce*

meh. I'll be fine by morning. :)

(in reply to Owned1)

Post #: 6

RE: I always do have to learn the hard way. - 8/27/2006 10:58:44 PM

Owned1

Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline

*tosses a mini trampoline under cp and watches her bounce higher and higher*

......his loss your gain

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 7

RE: I always do have to learn the hard way. - 8/27/2006 11:18:14 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Perhaps you should concentrate on why it is this keeps happening to you. You should fix that before looking for anyone else.

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 8

RE: I always do have to learn the hard way. - 8/27/2006 11:19:47 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Captiveplatypus, don't worry, things will work out.
Probably everyone in here has had this happen to them.
I know I have, and more that once too.

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 9

RE: I always do have to learn the hard way. - 8/27/2006 11:21:06 PM

captiveplatypus

Posts: 382
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

Perhaps you should concentrate on why it is this keeps happening to you. You should fix that before looking for anyone else.

jah hence my current profile.

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 10

RE: I always do have to learn the hard way. - 8/28/2006 12:55:03 AM

Wolfie648

Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: captiveplatypus

So I was someone's posession, or someone's consideration, only to have them totally disappear on me like some apparition. I figured going into it if it seemed too good to be true, it probably was, and sure enough I was right.

It's so difficult wanting to be a submissive, meaning you should give of yourself so much, but with each trust I allow to be abused my ability to trust wanes. That is life, I guess, growing from naive and trustworthy to further being wise and jaded, cautious, callous.

Tossed aside again. I go on.

2 sides.

Side a)

Yes it sounds like someone disappeared on you. Be thankful if was sooner than later.

Side b) (probably not relevant in this scenario but something to ponder).

Some people aren't ready for the responsibility. In them letting you go (disappearing) they are doing you a huge favor.

c) see point a and b

d) keep the faith. It exists. It's sadly not easy.

D (owner of j).

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 11

RE: I always do have to learn the hard way. - 8/28/2006 5:42:35 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: captiveplatypus

I guess, growing from naive and trustworthy to further being wise and jaded, cautious, callous.

Tossed aside again. I go on.

((((Hugs the Puss))) Welcome to the club... we meet every Wednesday evening and throw spitballs at the Doms from the upper level of the mall.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 12

RE: I always do have to learn the hard way. - 8/28/2006 5:48:38 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Disappeared? Like you went to his home and all of the furniture was gone and the place was empty? Or was this an online possession and he stopped answering your email?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 13

RE: I always do have to learn the hard way. - 8/28/2006 5:51:34 AM

kitty2MLoneWolf

Posts: 149
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: captiveplatypus

It's so difficult wanting to be a submissive, meaning you should give of yourself so much, but with each trust I allow to be abused my ability to trust wanes. That is life, I guess, growing from naive and trustworthy to further being wise and jaded, cautious, callous.

Platy,

I so totally understand these feelings. Here is a thread that I posted some time ago that may help you as you continue your search. I was truly blessed to have so many respond to this question in such a positive light. I hope it helps as you seek the one who you will serve.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_470038/mpage_1/key_Boundaries%252CCourtship/tm.htm#470038

_____________________________

used to be jessieme but I got a life <grin>

Dont worry about what other people think....they dont do it very often!

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 14

RE: I always do have to learn the hard way. - 8/28/2006 5:56:10 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: captiveplatypus

So I was someone's posession, or someone's consideration, only to have them totally disappear on me like some apparition. I figured going into it if it seemed too good to be true, it probably was, and sure enough I was right.

It's so difficult wanting to be a submissive, meaning you should give of yourself so much, but with each trust I allow to be abused my ability to trust wanes. That is life, I guess, growing from naive and trustworthy to further being wise and jaded, cautious, callous.

I'm sorry to hear that you were hurt. Very little can be said to ease the pain and disappointment you're feeling. It is my only hope that in the long run you don't allow those that were unworthy of your hand and submission to prevent you from finding and serving the one that is.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 15

RE: I always do have to learn the hard way. - 8/28/2006 7:13:04 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I think the issue is more that you don't LEARN at all. You just keep making the same mistakes over and over. Just a few weeks ago you started a thread about you being new, needing advice and how hard it is because you always attract the dorky guys who hurt you.

You got great advice in that thread on how to deal with it and help yourself- and you seemed to have ignored it all. Until you stop chasing after this apparition of romance you have, until you just accept yourself and working ON yourself, instead of gripping onto this need to BE WITH SOMEONE, then you WILL keep making these mistakes, and not learning anything.

Or you'll make the other classic mistake, make walls around yourself, which any dork can easily chisel away from (because you still secretly WANT someone to want you that badly) and continue the cycle.

Until you start really looking at the situation, seeing what about YOURSELF you need to change, and taking your time, you'll keep doing this to yourself.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 16

RE: I always do have to learn the hard way. - 8/28/2006 8:52:29 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Going through painful situations can be very, very hard. But, as it's been said, "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."

I don't think that it's a matter of you becoming jaded, but cautious is a pretty decent idea. Also, LA has some good points. If you keep being faced with the same situations time and time again, it means that you are being presented with an opportunity to learn a lesson, but each time, you miss it. This is really a common thing for humans, so don't beat yourself up about it. Just pay attention to what's going on. Perhaps writing in a journal about it...the things that were similar in each case, and step back and take a look.

There's a great poem about all this:

An Autobiography in Five Chapters Chapter I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in - again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I fall in… It’s a habit…but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V
I walk down a different street.

- Anonymous

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 17

RE: I always do have to learn the hard way. - 8/28/2006 9:16:29 AM

captiveplatypus

Posts: 382
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

uh, no offense LA, but you've known me like two weeks (and we've hardly spoken). I think saying I never LEARN is a bit harsh coming from you seeing as you barely know me or what I have been through in the past, oh, 27 years.

Thanks.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 18

RE: I always do have to learn the hard way. - 8/28/2006 9:23:29 AM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

Funny how LA is always pointed out to be the bad person. She wasn't the first one to tell you that. She just expounded.

(Not that I'm saying I completely agree with what she has said, I'm rather new to the forums, but not to CM itself)

I love LA for her forwardness.

But indeed, I can see how this particular post could be construed as too harsh.

Plat....take from it what you may, read into it and into the actual message and ignore that which might offend you and make you want to take a unhearing stance.

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to captiveplatypus)

Post #: 19

RE: I always do have to learn the hard way. - 8/28/2006 9:57:02 AM

captiveplatypus

Posts: 382
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

The advice I got in the initial post was not to rush into meeting the person as I was worried about my safety. As I never met the person I think I followed those suggestions pretty well instead of just ignoring everything as LA says I did. Although I do remember LA twisting my words to sound like I constantly wind up with crazy/abusive people, which is not true. Crazy weird people and abusive guys are attracted to me, because I am petitie have scoliosis and because I get picked out as understanding what it is like to be different or an easy target for someone looking to start another abusive relationship in the sense that "oh I can get her to believe no one will ever love her, then she'll stay with me forever." I recognize this. I have NEVER gotten involved with any of these people, they are just the type that seems to be attracted to me. I have been in two long-term relationships and neither of them were abusive.

I am not currently looking for anything as I have stated in my profile. So saying I don't learn is ignorant at best, if not just someone feeling like being a bitch early in the morning.

But I love how people make all these assumptions after barely knowing me and after my first and only experience dealing with anyone that intimately on this site.

I appreciate the advice, but I would appreciate it more if it didn't come at me like a character attack when you barely know me.

I am just really starting to get fed up with some of the people here.

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 20

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