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Handshaking - 8/28/2006 10:04:05 AM

velvetears

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What kind of a handshaker are you? Do you clasp the entire hand and grasp it firmly? Perhaps you just grasp the fingertips of the other with your own fingertips in a weak "i don't want your cooties" kind of shake? Describe your "shake"..... also, what do you think the kind of handshake you recieve tells you about the other person?

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RE: Handshaking - 8/28/2006 10:50:16 AM

pup75

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Joined: 5/1/2006
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I try to give a firm, strong handshake, and look the other person directly in the eyes. I'm never sure what to make of it when someone gives a weak handshake, since learning how to give a good one was just part of my raising. And handshake routines just completely throw me off -- never have gotten the hang of those. :-)

(in reply to velvetears)

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RE: Handshaking - 8/28/2006 11:12:09 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
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it seems we have more of an informal society on this.

my family- i will hug-

with woman- it is hard to know if they want a handshake.

i dont refuse them, it does seem much of life- it is replaced by an affiirmation "nod".

when i worked witht he public- i was "sir" "ma'am" some people were actually not comfortable with the formality.

good scenario- is in an office during cold-flu season, whats the protocal ??

to the question,

firm, but not bone crushing, more of gently firm.. never wimpish.

(in reply to pup75)

Post #: 3

RE: Handshaking - 8/28/2006 12:05:43 PM

Level

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I hate a limp handshake from a man; from a woman it's okay. *lowers my sexist head in shame*

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RE: Handshaking - 8/28/2006 12:44:27 PM

RosaB

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I generally go in for a firm handshake, but seems most don't reciprocate these days. Often times I wonder if people are just so confused on what is appropriate when it comes to touch even when it its just the customary handshake greeting in business and other settings. Usually I find myself saying after shaking someone's had. "What the heck was that?" I won't lump others in any particular catorgory since the reasons can be so vast and I haven't any factual idea why greeting customs have changed(gone to hell, IMO) so much.

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RE: Handshaking - 8/28/2006 12:47:25 PM

DesertRat

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From: NM/USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
I hate a limp handshake from a man; from a woman it's okay. *lowers my sexist head in shame*

Ditto. But I also hate the deliberate bonecrusher handshake some guys give. I interpret it as a sign of fear-based overcompensation.

As an aside...my very long-term and very dear buddies back in Michigan practice the W.C. Fields "hearty hand clasp", which consists of lightly grasping someone's fingertips with one's own fingertips and holding the "clasp" for a whole second...maybe two.

Bob

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RE: Handshaking - 8/28/2006 12:51:14 PM

Level

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
I hate a limp handshake from a man; from a woman it's okay. *lowers my sexist head in shame*

Ditto. But I also hate the deliberate bonecrusher handshake some guys give. I interpret it as a sign of fear-based overcompensation.

As an aside...my very long-term and very dear buddies back in Michigan practice the W.C. Fields "hearty hand clasp", which consists of lightly grasping someone's fingertips with one's own fingertips and holding the "clasp" for a whole second...maybe two.

Bob

Agreed on the bonecrushing, Bob. Last week at work a young Game Warden shook hands with an older Constable, and I guess he was feeling his oats, he shook a bit hard, so the Constable proceeded to put the grip on him, had the guy's face turning red.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to DesertRat)

Post #: 7

RE: Handshaking - 8/28/2006 12:54:20 PM

abytchgoddess4u

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quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears
What kind of a handshaker are you? Do you clasp the entire hand and grasp it firmly? Perhaps you just grasp the fingertips of the other with your own fingertips in a weak "i don't want your cooties" kind of shake? Describe your "shake"..... also, what do you think the kind of handshake you recieve tells you about the other person?

I am a firm handshaker, not overbearing, but definitely assertive, a solid grasp of the whole hand. ~no surprise there~

I've often found men to be surprised and can see the look in their eyes change when I shake their hand. It's a look of slight surprise, as if they expected a weak one.

I think an overly strong shake shows inconsideration and insecurity. A limp one, weakness.

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Ask all from yourself." Rumi

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(in reply to velvetears)

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RE: Handshaking - 8/28/2006 1:02:17 PM

pahunkboy

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From: Central Pennsylvania
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Bob wrote:

"...the deliberate bonecrusher handshake some guys give. I interpret it as a sign of fear-based overcompensation"

I agree!

(in reply to abytchgoddess4u)

Post #: 9

RE: Handshaking - 8/28/2006 1:03:30 PM

Bearlee

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From: South Central CO
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hmmmmmmmmm... I'm a fairly 'firm' handshaker; firm but certainly not bone-crushing. Also, I tend to put my other hand over the person's outstretched hand, too; it feels even more personal that way. Less 'manly', too?

I can't handle wimpy handshakes from EITHER men or women; talk about dead fish! UGG Still, while I agree a guy must be compensating to do the bone-crusher to another guy; WHY on earth would he do it to an ol' lady? Sheeshhhhhhhhhhhhh I hate that!!!

bear

(in reply to abytchgoddess4u)

Post #: 10

RE: Handshaking - 8/28/2006 1:13:24 PM

NastyDaddy

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What is it that a man does while standing up... a woman does while sitting down... and a dog does while standing on three legs?

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RE: Handshaking - 8/28/2006 1:14:17 PM

Bearlee

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From: South Central CO
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Why, shake hands, of course; unless the doggie is sitting, too

(in reply to NastyDaddy)

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RE: Handshaking - 8/28/2006 1:18:27 PM

NastyDaddy

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You'd have to ask benji about the "sitting dog" thing... I've always been of the impression dogs stand while shaking hands (unless they are afraid some other dog will steal their seat).

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RE: Handshaking - 8/28/2006 1:21:14 PM

SirKenin

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From: Barrie, ON Canada
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I have very strong hands... I grasp the entire hand and shake it firmly (albeit not vigorously)... Unfortunately I have been known to hurt the occasional person, which is quite by accident.

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Post #: 14

RE: Handshaking - 8/28/2006 1:21:46 PM

gooddogbenji

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I don't shake hands, it's far too un-submissive. I either kiss their boots, or, if they are not wearing any, I do not believe a lowly slave such as myself should be allowed to touch a Goddess, so I piss on her bare feet.

Yours,

benji

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RE: Handshaking - 8/28/2006 2:26:15 PM

velvetears

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Thanks for the replies. As a female i have never experienced the "bone crusher", must be a guy thing. If i really like or miss the person i am shaking hands with i will extend my other hand over the top of both our hands to express extra "warmth" towards them. But if a guy i did not know well did that to me i think i would feel it was too intimate.

i really don't like the fingertip shake and can't help but feel kinda slighted by those who shake hands like that. i probably shouldn't though as it's just more then likely part of who they are and how they relate to others.

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RE: Handshaking - 8/28/2006 2:26:27 PM

cuddleheart50

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From: Kentucky
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I haven't done any handshaking lately, can't really remember how I do it.

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RE: Handshaking - 8/28/2006 2:36:42 PM

DiurnalVampire

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From: Nashville, TN
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I tend to shake hands alot where I work. whenever the higherups or members frmo anotehr store come in, we have to greet them.
I have experienced the "bone crunshing" handshakes, beng the only girl in my black belt karate class, the guys were being macho.

DV

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VampiresLair

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Post #: 18

RE: Handshaking - 8/28/2006 3:26:34 PM

Rumtiger

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From: Vegas
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ME CRUSH!!!

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Post #: 19

RE: Handshaking - 8/29/2006 5:47:35 AM

wysiwygitsme

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Joined: 8/9/2006
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I am a very strong, assertive handshaker. I was taught that if you are going to shake someone's hand, do it properly. A wimpy handshake is just not acceptable.

I too have received many compliments about my handshake, most are surprised. Often comment on it.

(in reply to Rumtiger)

Post #: 20

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