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RE: Would you ask Him/Her? - 8/29/2006 4:36:21 AM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
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I usually blurt out anything that is in my head including wanting a good spanking. He decides the yes or no. Works for us.

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(in reply to midnyt)

Post #: 21

RE: Would you ask Him/Her? - 8/29/2006 4:39:28 AM

Lashra

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Joined: 2/9/2006
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My sub will ask me for a spanking or a flogging, but in a playful manner and it is MY decision whether it will happen or not. I personally like beating on him

, so it is rare that I say no but it has happened.

Do I think its rude? No depending upon of course how the sub asks, it must be done in a respectful manner or Yes it is rude. No one should demand *service* from their Dom/me.

~Lashra

_____________________________

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(in reply to greysunnydays)

Post #: 22

RE: Would you ask Him/Her? - 8/29/2006 4:57:14 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
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Of course i have asked both directly and indirectly both for sex and to be whipped, it is still up to my pair whether or not they grant my request but i am always free to ask or beg.

It is another way of letting them know where my head is at, what my desires are. I do not think they find it rude, i think they occasionally find it quite amusing though.

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Post #: 23

RE: Would you ask Him/Her? - 8/29/2006 5:17:59 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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I always ask if there is something i want it is his desiscion if i get what i asked for or not. It is always his choice. At least i let him know what was on my mind.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 24

RE: Would you ask Him/Her? - 8/29/2006 5:22:56 AM

diamonddreamlove

Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
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The Doms i know and play with have made it clear that i may ask for what i want and They will decide what i need. They make the decisions but do expect me to use my fine brain and communicate what i want and think i need as long as i understand their word is final. All is communicated with respect. I give respect and i receive respect but then that is the dynamic of any relationship i enter. I doubt very much i will ever fine myself in a relationship where communication is not allowed. That being said i only ask during play when i am begging as requested or expected by the Dom.

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"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to midnyt)

Post #: 25

RE: Would you ask Him/Her? - 8/29/2006 5:57:42 AM

MissTlTTYMilk

Posts: 142
Joined: 6/17/2006
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Forgive my repeating any of the above if applicable....i would hope that most couples or groups, as it were, would have established and discussed likes and dislikes. However, i would not ask for something during a scene unless it was implied that i should be "begging"--at least, i should say i dont recall a time. That's me, i like the element of surprise, and i am usually not thinking what i want to do next, but rather wondering what in the heck will happen next or just lost in the intensity of the moment. i guess like with most things discussed here, it is all individualized in the context of the relationship or the request. i guess i dont view it as wrong to make a request per say--whatever works for the participants. For example, the Dom may want some input but still can have exclusive control to decline or accept a request at will.

< Message edited by MissTlTTYMilk -- 8/29/2006 6:01:03 AM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to midnyt)

Post #: 26

RE: Would you ask Him/Her? - 8/29/2006 7:14:49 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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For me, it would depend on if they were asking to fulfill a need or not. I don't like to be pestered, hence I don't like "begging" (I don't like to be nagged either). So, when one of mine comes to me and asks for something, I know that it's most likely due to a need not being met. Since I take care of what's mine, I try to make time in the near future for them. If I feel that they are abusing this privledge, it's time for a talk.

Master Fire

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(in reply to greysunnydays)

Post #: 27

RE: Would you ask Him/Her? - 8/29/2006 7:24:39 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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Doms really aren't mind readers (though most of the good ones can fake it pretty well).

If you want something, ask it. It's still up to the dom whether/how it happens. Asking does not mean getting.

If you don't want someone in your relationship to ask for things, then train them to that.

But I train my partners to be very open and communicative and to always let me know those things.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to greysunnydays)

Post #: 28

RE: Would you ask Him/Her? - 8/29/2006 7:25:10 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

My Daddy wants me to ask sometimes and he wants me to initiate sex often. My former dom didn't. It is all the preference of the dominant, it isn't up to me to decide how things should go because I am the submissive.. if he wants me to beg him to spank my ass, who am I to argue? If he wants me to get petulant in a playful sorta way and accuse him of not doing the things I like... who am I to complain (he loves it when I get petulant.. it is a turn on for him, but it is never in a serious way)?

It may seem "rude" to you, but it is how my dynamic is, and the longer we are seeing each other the more I enjoy that aspect, because its what he wants from me, and I try to always give him what he wants.

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(in reply to greysunnydays)

Post #: 29

RE: Would you ask Him/Her? - 8/29/2006 7:54:48 AM

shadevarr

Posts: 360
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline

lots of good opinions so far. I praise communication as one of the great essential keys to a good relationship and that includes my sub informing me of what they are in the mood for. I may give it to them or not, I do try to keep a life without patterns so they will always be guessing as to what may or may not happen every given day.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 30

RE: Would you ask Him/Her? - 8/29/2006 8:02:08 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: greysunnydays

What I'm getting from a lot of people is they are taking what I am sayng to another level. I'm talking strictly about play, not if you can eat or not. Lol.

In my book, these are very similar kinds of feedback. In both cases, they're something one either needs or wants, and one needs to ask one's d-type about.

Having a bowl of ice cream and gettin' hit fall into the same feedback category for me. I'd like them, he might not think about it, so I ask. If he doesnt' want me to, he says no. And I deal :)

I can definatly see situations where asking for either would be bad or poorly timed, though.

_____________________________

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(in reply to greysunnydays)

Post #: 31

RE: Would you ask Him/Her? - 8/29/2006 10:20:08 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: greysunnydays

Would you ask the Domly One/Master/Mistress to be flogged or beat or to have sex with you...or anything along those lines? I'm curious as to the responces. In my eyes, I believe it should be up to the Dom/Master/Mistress rather or not play is going to partake. I find it a tad rude..(Now please don't be offended..these are just my thoughts.) if a sub/slave/switch (in bottom mode.) asks to be flogged or what not. Should that not be up to the Dom/Master/Mistress?

I don't (and luckily neither does my owner) see anything wrong with asking for something - including SM or sex. Even if I ask him (or hell even if I beg him) for something it doesn't remotely mean I'll get it (I've asked and not gotten SM and/or sex...and sometimes I've asked and gotten it).

I don't understand how you are eqauting asking for something with the automatic promise that you'll get it just because you ask. To me a request is just that... a request.

C~

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(in reply to greysunnydays)

Post #: 32

RE: Would you ask Him/Her? - 8/29/2006 11:59:19 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I have only asked for a spanking when I felt I trully needed one. Even then I still think it is up to the Dominant if he/she is going to give it. Sometimes I just need a spanking to relieve anxiety and stress.

(in reply to greysunnydays)

Post #: 33

RE: Would you ask Him/Her? - 8/29/2006 12:48:30 PM

MissTlTTYMilk

Posts: 142
Joined: 6/17/2006
Status: offline

On second thought, there are many ways to skin a cat. i guess aside from open communication outside of a scene.....there are obviously communication cues within a scene that have nothing to do with an outright verbal request. i would think that reactions and responses such as moans, screams, behavior,etc., made can steer a scene......but that would be better left for the Dominants to discuss.....just a thought

< Message edited by MissTlTTYMilk -- 8/29/2006 12:49:36 PM >

_____________________________

"I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. "
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. "
--Bertrand Russell

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 34

RE: Would you ask Him/Her? - 8/29/2006 2:14:33 PM

Sunshine119

Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
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I would think that many, many Doms would be delighted for their submissives to instigate play or sex. We were talking about this the other night. He made it clear that he loves the idea I day-dream of sex and play with him and can't wait to get home!

LOL....what's funny is that I never would have believed that he day-dreams as much too!

Ask away! It might be the biggest boost in a work day filled with stress, disappointment and other things. Meet him at the door with the flogger in your mouth and not another stitch on! The worst he can say is no.

Sunshine

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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to greysunnydays)

Post #: 35

RE: Would you ask Him/Her? - 8/29/2006 2:38:34 PM

LaMspeach

Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: greysunnydays

Would you ask the Domly One/Master/Mistress to be flogged or beat or to have sex with you...or anything along those lines? I'm curious as to the responces. In my eyes, I believe it should be up to the Dom/Master/Mistress rather or not play is going to partake. I find it a tad rude..(Now please don't be offended..these are just my thoughts.) if a sub/slave/switch (in bottom mode.) asks to be flogged or what not. Should that not be up to the Dom/Master/Mistress?

I not only ask but i am encouraged to. It is up to Master weather he gives me what i ask for. I choose carefully when and how i asked and as long as it done respectful i see no problem with asking .
In my eyes it is alot better to ask then trying to manipulate the Master/ Mistress into doing what you want.

_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"

(in reply to greysunnydays)

Post #: 36

RE: Would you ask Him/Her? - 8/29/2006 3:52:53 PM

jonathan

Posts: 196
Joined: 8/5/2004
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Yes, of course it will be up to my Goddess, and no, i will not hesitate to ask/beg anything of Her. With one exception, being released from chastity (unlocked) for any reason other than regular upkeep. She may order me to beg for that, but i already know better than to ask.

If there's already solid communication in the relationship, a properly expressed request ought to be permitted. Just maybe not granted.

_____________________________

jonathan
http://www.slaveregister.com/000-515-587

"But in purple, i am stunning!"
"Before You slip into unconsciousness, i'd like to have another kiss, another flashing chance at bliss, another kiss, another kiss"

(in reply to greysunnydays)

Post #: 37

RE: Would you ask Him/Her? - 8/30/2006 6:57:48 AM

mp072004

Posts: 381
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline

In general, I like people, including submissives, to ask for things they want, or state that they want a thing. Asking persuasively and bargaining, if the relationship affords it, is a good idea, because, um, if you want something, you should really try to get it. If I really don't want to do something, I won't do it. However, "asking persuasively" means citing reasons and making an argument, not whining, begging, or generally trying to inject tons of honorifics and verbal debasements into a sentence.

Good asking, not persuasive: "Might we do spanking next time we get together?"
Good bargaining conversation: "Might we do spanking next time we get together?" "No." "If you spank me, I'll paint your house." "Okay."
Bad conversation: "Oh master goddess esquire doctor sir, please spank my unworthy behind when you next grace me with your honorable divine presence." "No." "Please! Please please please! I wanna!"

Monica

(in reply to greysunnydays)

Post #: 38

RE: Would you ask Him/Her? - 8/30/2006 7:05:56 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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I think it would be a tad rude to NOT convey my wants and desires. Stifling the expression of my sexuality or state of would be, in my opinion, counterproductive.

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~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

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(in reply to greysunnydays)

Post #: 39

RE: Would you ask Him/Her? - 8/30/2006 7:46:14 AM

justanotheclaire

Posts: 113
Joined: 8/15/2006
From: cambs, uk
Status: offline

I dont understand how it could be rude to ask to be scened
to demand, or to ask at an inaproppriate time would be rude
Masters/Mistresses are wonderful but they are not always pyschic
Havign said that with privious Master the closest i could get to initiating anythign was to ask i did not touch without beign told to , oh the times i wish i could of got on my knees and....errrmmm....prayed lol
unlimatly its abotu boundries within releationships, lines that can or cannot be crossed.
my personal oppinion is i have a free mind and i am a person i have a right to oppinions because they are part of me, what makes me subbie is the surrenderign to anothers rules

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Bound by desire
Free through submission

(in reply to midnyt)

Post #: 40

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