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A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/28/2006 11:48:01 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
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You know, I just do not understand something and perhaps someone can clue me in on it. I have recently seen postings and entire threads with outright attacks on other members of this site. This puzzles and troubles me. I will be the first to admit that I have done my share of verbal jousting but I don't believe I have crossed the line in any one case, and if I felt that I had I took care of it right away by saying that I was sorry.

Has this forum degenerated to the point that people must resort to shoddy insults and third grade behavior? I have been here for a year or so and I am disturbed at this seeming trend.

I am beginning to feel that we (as an online community) are going down a road that there may not be an easy way back from. I know that whenever a group of people get together that personalities will clash and that is to be expected in real life and online as well, but can't we muster just a bit more dignity out of ourselves and not suffer the demise of many a forum like this in the past?

Feel free to set me straight if you think I am off base.

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Post #: 1

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/28/2006 11:59:29 PM

Sub03

Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline

I think you are completely right. I fully agree, I actually come to the message boards and post alot less just for that reason. As to how it got to this point or why it got to this point I have no idea. But I definetly think it needs to stop and we need to act more our age. We are all adults after all.

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(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 2

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 1:12:02 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

I've seen it before in other places. Patches where folks have gotten a little over-sensitive and small things blown out of proportion, critisism of posts taken as personal critisism, bruised egos exploding into flamewars.

They usualy pass, sometimes a few are lost, but mostly the majority simply get back to normal again relitivly swiftly.

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And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 3

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 1:14:40 AM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
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It is up to the moderators to stop such behavior. Otherwise we will have to block such posters ourselves.

Perhaps you feel a calling as moderator and will volunteer, Gauge? I think that you are a sensible and fair man and that CM may very well welcome you as a moderator.

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 4

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 9:19:56 AM

SweetlyTwisted

Posts: 206
Joined: 7/27/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

It is up to the moderators to stop such behavior. Otherwise we will have to block such posters ourselves.

Perhaps you feel a calling as moderator and will volunteer, Gauge? I think that you are a sensible and fair man and that CM may very well welcome you as a moderator.

I second that vote Rule. Gauge would be a very good moderator. Seriously think about it, Gauge. The forums need YOU, so our little forum streets will be safe to wander about again.

~ST~

_____________________________

Sure, I'm twisted, but it's a good kind of twisted.

(in reply to Rule)

Post #: 5

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 9:36:42 AM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

There is too much flaming going on around here, you would think that we are all adults....I stay away from those threads.

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Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

(in reply to SweetlyTwisted)

Post #: 6

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 9:41:57 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I enjoy this site-

There are many sites I wont spend time at due to childesh behavoir that wont stop.

Ild say this is one of the better message boards.

Like cudlles I try to stay out of flames.

Not everyone is "Internet mature". this is different then having a bad day.

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 7

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 9:47:10 AM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

I think there will always be tiffles here and there, but there do seem to be a number of people here who enjoy attacking others. I don't think it is a general thing, but a few people who take certain subjects too seriously.

I, for one, blame the rampant bananaism.

But seriously, I think if those specific people don't drag in others, and we all stay away from their touchy spots, the rest of us can all get along.

Yours,

benji

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(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 8

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 9:49:02 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

When posters resort to crude insults and spew flames of raw sewage, we have truely lost the art of lampooning another with humour and jest with the thrust being to "attack" and "destroy" an argument rather than attacking the poster as a person and member here.

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(in reply to pahunkboy)

Post #: 9

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 9:54:10 AM

wild1cfl

Posts: 567
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

Gauge,
It is up to us to keep our post above board and non threatening. I respect everyone's opinion but I also expect them to respect my opinion. Basically I can agree to disagree with anyone. What troubles me is exactly what you are saying, when someone feels they have to personally attack another person because they did not like what they said. I for one have gone ot bat for that person and will continue to do so in the future. I wish there were more of us that do act in a mature manner when posting on these boards.

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Wild

My Falcon now is sharp, and passing empty; And, till she stoop, she shall not be full gorg'd, For then she never looks upon her lure. Another way i have to man my haggard, to make her come and know her keeper's call. Wm. Shakespeare

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 10

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 9:55:26 AM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

All this flaming and nastiness must be going on in threads I never see because I was not aware that any of this was happening. Unless things are written in code, or the OP title is so nebulous that I have no interest in clicking on it to see what people are talking about, I do not recall seeing any recent or current threads where someone is talking negatively about another person specificially.
Maybe it's because Im not in the loop.
Ignorance is bliss.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 11

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 12:26:27 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I haven't been reading much of this site lately to notice much of anything happening here. Just have much better things to do with my life.
However, this same question has been asked about once a month for the past year and a half or so.
There once was a time when the mods were on top of everything on the boards. Then so many new people started finding the site...and with mods dropping like flies. Well, it gets out of control fast.
There are several posts on this board that would have been immediately removed in better days. People do seem to be running rampant here. Though, that is nothing new. You either deal with it or take action yourself. Even so you may not be chosen to watch over the boards.

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 12

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 12:34:14 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

I've seen it, and it seems to come in cycles. The spring is always a bad time because the site gets inundated with new users emerging from hibernation. I wasn't aware that August is usually a bad time too, but I have seen a lot of childish bullshit and name-calling lately.

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

All this flaming and nastiness must be going on in threads I never see because I was not aware that any of this was happening. Unless things are written in code, or the OP title is so nebulous that I have no interest in clicking on it to see what people are talking about, I do not recall seeing any recent or current threads where someone is talking negatively about another person specificially.
Maybe it's because Im not in the loop.
Ignorance is bliss.

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 13

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 12:53:39 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

yeah i noticed it too, it is such a bummer.

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(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 14

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 1:05:02 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I came to collarme years ago then left then recently came back. I have noticed alot of backbiting and attacks on others when opinions dont agree. I thought this was a place to post your opinion. Just because someone disagrees doesn't mean that a high school style attack has to be made on them. I just ignore those that continually do this. It is usually the same ones.

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 15

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 1:21:20 PM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

Maybe the fact that Im only allowed to post on certain days leaves me a bit more choosy about in which threads I spend my time.

I actually noticed lately that threads where I would have assumed people would begin making fun of or flaming newbies, people were being kind and respectfully answering the question.

Then again, I did see the one thread where people apparently thought it was acceptable to use racial/ethnic slurs against someone who posted in what appeared to be arabic (someone called it "jibberish") but I chose not to revisit that thread because of the kinds of things people were saying. I didnt even want my name at the top of the thread because, frankly, I was embarassed by the "ugly American"-esque behavior.

And besides, the time I've spent in the middle east has left me with a love of falafel and apparently falafel lovers were out of fashion that day.

If people don't partake, hopefully that kind of behavior will not be encouraged. Im sure a lot of people have noticed it's the "controversial" (ie bordering on personal to getting personal) threads that get the most traffic and half the time end up being the longest. So, whomever it is that feels compelled to do somethingabout people not having respect for one another could boycott threads that start to get ugly. That means not even lurking to see what's going on. When people get the feedback they desire (attention) (attention whores arent all subs, by the way...I learned that by reading these boards...) they might stop engaging in the behavior more quickly then they would if they get negative attention for the behavior.

Ive only been personally flamed once and it was by someone who isnt around any more. Even though I knew she was only making an idiot of herself, it felt awful. Im sorry people are having to deal with that.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 16

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 1:28:46 PM

MrrPete

Posts: 614
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

On another board I belong to they have a forum called the Smack Shack.

This is where you go to trade insults.

Personal attacks are not allowed anyplace else and the moderators do a
good job of keeping it that way. They will ban you very quickly if you get out of line
Often without warning.

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Awrabest,

Mr. Pete

Boycott Citgo

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 17

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 2:18:29 PM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

You know, I just do not understand something and perhaps someone can clue me in on it. I have recently seen postings and entire threads with outright attacks on other members of this site. This puzzles and troubles me. I will be the first to admit that I have done my share of verbal jousting but I don't believe I have crossed the line in any one case, and if I felt that I had I took care of it right away by saying that I was sorry.

Has this forum degenerated to the point that people must resort to shoddy insults and third grade behavior? I have been here for a year or so and I am disturbed at this seeming trend.

I am beginning to feel that we (as an online community) are going down a road that there may not be an easy way back from. I know that whenever a group of people get together that personalities will clash and that is to be expected in real life and online as well, but can't we muster just a bit more dignity out of ourselves and not suffer the demise of many a forum like this in the past?

Feel free to set me straight if you think I am off base.

I'm not sure I've seen the threads you're describing. I did see one recently where a mod entered to surgically remove a couple of insults (by the mod's testimony, which I accept not having seen the excised material) from posts which had more to say than just the insult.

While this was no doubt well intended, I wonder if a policy of carefully carving out insults (of a certain degree of incivility, anyway) while allowing posts to stand as a whole might tend to lead to an unmanageable burden on the mods, who have a tough job to start with.

If someone believes they can blather rudely on exercising no discretion, leaving discretion to the mods, as it were, then that someone might tend to become progressively less decorous, more uncivil. Unfortunate events could surely follow for the threads where that person posts and for the community as a whole. Presumably and hopefully the mods would not suffer this too long in any case.

I don't always agree with the mods. I have disagreed strenuously at times. That said, my suspicion is that a policy of simply deleting entire posts which contain unacceptable elements might be a better policy for the mods' sake, first of all, and in the end maybe just as good or better for the community.

I like the idea of all of us being pro-active about the whole matter. A little bit ironically, maybe, heather's suggestion to boycott offensive threads altogether (active inaction?) may be the most powerful response available.

I'm not allergic to strong opinions or opinions strongly stated. I suppose we each have the option of drawing our own line.

Personally, if I see someone misbehave in certain ways more than a few times I employ the Block feature. This is obviously a sort of boycott in itself. Hell, I hope I've inspired at least a few people to block me as well.

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 18

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 2:31:05 PM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

Gauge,
No, I would say you are right on target! As these comments were made by

quote:

LTRsubNW:
Arpig,
I just wanted to say that, the other night, I was a jerk to you. It was uncalled for.
I apologize.
The fact that you're arrogant, assumptive, truly ignorant (on any number of issues {actually, all I've seen your posts on, to date}), and essentially incapable of logical thought is beside the point.
I feel bad, I would very much like to apologize...and I hope you take this as intended.

What the hell kind of apology is that? You say I am sorry and at the same time insult him more.
This post was not jerked, when it should have been. But what do I know? I am just an unpaying member here, who got warned for calling someone who doesnt even post here anymore an "Idiot". I will probably get a nice letter telling me that I shouldnt do this, but I dont give a shit. If you warn one about something, then warn the rest about the same damn thing. I am sick it.
Here is the whole thread for those who missed this little bit of flaming. http://www.collarchat.com/m_558201/mpage_3/key_/tm.htm#

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Post #: 19

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 2:34:00 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

Being of a legal age does not always mean maturity. Don't forget being an adult and level of maturity are not always the same.

You become an adult at 18. Maturity is something people have or don't have. Legal age doesn't indicate level of maturity.

quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

There is too much flaming going on around here, you would think that we are all adults....I stay away from those threads.

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 20

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