RE: Cynical assumptions.

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Cynical assumptions.

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Cynical assumptions.

Page: << < prev 3 4 [5] 6 7 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Cynical assumptions. - 8/31/2006 9:16:50 AM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

Unfortunately my repertoire for German has been limited to Danke and Bitte, since I've stopped learning from a friend about 5 years ago. Though, I am looking back into it just for kicks.

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Post #: 81

RE: Cynical assumptions. - 8/31/2006 9:18:58 AM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

If you want, I can teach you some German in exchange for some French.... LOL

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 82

RE: Cynical assumptions. - 8/31/2006 9:20:35 AM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

rofl

_____________________________

Honey, you obviously missed the "want to be used as a toilet fetish" thread or "where do I get instructions on setting my sub on fire" thread. LOL

Thank you, DelRay for that one.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Post #: 83

RE: Cynical assumptions. - 8/31/2006 9:30:32 PM

GddssBella

Posts: 343
Joined: 2/24/2004
Status: offline

G'evening all: For benji; I've taken the liberty of doing the translations for you. *Note* Hindu was not available, used French instead. My software does not support Chinese characters... yet. Enjoy.

"Good persons, if I can throw:, despite the WhiptheHip does not read that is to say, that is to say he, does not include that or IT WOULD NOT WANT includes, the posts other and. I have been maintained enough from, I speak that partial one cannot be adversely in the kacedrjko' temple or a Unterseeboot, based in switchability. I have been maintained also by his generalisation a lot prachtvolle that all conservateurs this see types and all liberal persons seeing. I have rolled I collect in the cover, if he that it has untied that the communication was trahja', because words forecast on the contrary in the thing, because this I have known, has read this our posts THIS, upsidedown, and later has been presented the return in general this russe in Germany in the Hindu in Chinese later this in the English, this were that this has maintained. Even if i that the new girl of virus loves, says groin. Well it grants in pinakj'da! This, benji"

Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others...

Bella

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!"

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Post #: 84

RE: Cynical assumptions. - 9/1/2006 3:36:49 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

I wholeheartedly agree that some people have a hard time showing every single, itsy, bitsy piece of themselves to any one person at any given time. It's not being deceptive. It's being self-confused. Or something I like to call "shy". I, myself have been an extremely shy person in my lifetime. I'm not all that shy anymore, but there are times around certain people (generally upon first meeting) that I am still pretty darned shy. Sometimes I'm in a mood and a person who meets me for the first time might see a slightly cynical, sassy girl, when those that know me, know me for a sweet and caring person. Does that mean I'm being deceiptful? Hell fucking no.

What you are talking about is normal human behavior which is worlds apart from what was originally being discussed; that is the purposeful deception of a partner.

I think everybody has their moods and different reactions to situations and whom they are with. To me that is normal not deceitful.

What i was calling deceitful that raiken responded to was the purposeful deception of a partner i.e. you have a profile as a sub and a seperate one as a domme, you meet a dom who thinks you are a sub, you enter into a relationship with this person never telling them you also like to dom on occasion, six months down the road they discover this either accidentally or because suddenly you feel like topping for a change, a facet of yourself you deliberately kept from this person.

Put yourself in their shoes, wouldn't you be hurt or confused?

PS, watch out for the mangy leg humping rug wetting mutt.

(See Benji i never once mentioned how cute or smart you were, go get her boy.)

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to Aine)

Post #: 85

RE: Cynical assumptions. - 9/1/2006 4:08:43 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: raiken

they only can relate to that part of themselves, and are not multi-relational with their other parts. Each part seeks to be validated and fulfilled. Some folks can only show or admit the different facets if they are truly aware of them and have integrated and made themselves whole. Some are innocent and not out to deceive, but maybe are going through something deep and need time to heal and so this is their outlet. Some have fears of rejection, or other variables in this area, so they hide behind different profiles. Some are just finding themselves, and others are truly sick pervy's! *smile Others just need time to see where they truly fit, so they try being everything in hopes to find out more about themselves and about others.

I have no issue with those who are exploring or unsure of themselves; my issue is only if they are not upfront with any potential partner that this is what they are doing.

I have in the past contacted some who after we spoke were quite honest about the fact that were really not sure where they fit or what role they really enjoyed in the lifestyle. I always offered any assistance, open friendship, and thanks for their honesty.

Of those who accepted this I can honestly say two took me up on it and after many conversations about how they lived and what they enjoyed were helped to a better understanding of themselves and what they were seeking. One ended up discovering they were a dominant who liked to bottom occasionally and is now exploring the lifestyle with greater confidence than they possessed before. And we both made a new friend.

quote:

Just people learning about themselves and other people as i see it. Of course there are always those who are simply here to engage in games, and just to mess with folks, the playas, etc., shame on us if we get caught up in that! LOL!

These are the ones I have an issue with; how can any human being with a modicum of conscience justify to themselves purposefully practicing out right deception in order to obtain the relationship they want? Don't they stop and ask themselves what it is going to do to their partner who went into this relationship not knowing the other side of them? Do they not consider what kind of hurt or damage they do to another when a few months into an apparently working relationship of one type they discover that no you are not really , say all subbie, you are also wanting to dom? When they have no interest in being subbie and went into this believing you were a subbie because you lied to them? Are people's emotions that disposable?

Is it really ok to use another human being in this manner making your justification you were only getting to know yourself or you were to shy or embarrased to mention such an important fact?

Constantly in any an every source of information on WIITWD you will find the statements over and over that HONESTY along with open communication is essential to any and every facet of BDSM every step of the way from play to a serious D/s commitment; so how any one can advocate deceit is beyond me.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to raiken)

Post #: 86

RE: Cynical assumptions. - 9/1/2006 6:10:16 AM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

quote:
        Isn't it possible for different females to bring out different sides
        of a guy? Can't dominant females bring out the submissive side
        of a guy, and submissive females bring out their dominant side.
       Is this so hard to understand? I guess it must be.

> Only if it is there to BE brought out. YOU seem to think that people have problems with switches...

I guess you missed the thread I was responding to as to why someone might have two profiles, one as a dom, the other as a sub, and might be seeking a domme in one profile and a sub in another.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 87

RE: Cynical assumptions. - 9/1/2006 6:11:48 AM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

Isn't it possible for different females to bring out different sides
of a guy? Can't dominant females bring out the submissive side
of a guy, and submissive females bring out their dominant side.
Is this so hard to understand? I guess it must be. By listening to
so many of your comments, I would have to conclude I was a faker.

Yes, we call this being a switch. There are a couple of submissive type men that I find appealing personality wise on this board myself...If I was looking it might be tempting to consider switching for some that are like these, but alas, I do not think it would work for me. I haven't seen anyone calling switches "fakes".

I guess you missed the thread I was responding to as to why someone might have two profiles, one as a dom, the other as a sub, and might be seeking a domme in one profile and a sub in another.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 88

RE: Cynical assumptions. - 9/1/2006 6:12:24 AM

Homestead

Posts: 1005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip

quote:
        Isn't it possible for different females to bring out different sides
        of a guy? Can't dominant females bring out the submissive side
        of a guy, and submissive females bring out their dominant side.
      Is this so hard to understand? I guess it must be.

> Only if it is there to BE brought out. YOU seem to think that people have problems with switches...

I guess you missed the thread I was responding to as to why someone might have two profiles, one as a dom, the other as a sub, and might be seeking a domme in one profile and a sub in another.

The honest thing to do would be to call yourself a switch and have ONE profile.

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 89

RE: Cynical assumptions. - 9/1/2006 6:15:27 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Homestead: Probably it would be, I agree, but - I can imagine there might be people who honestly don't think about doing that.
Maybe they will read this thread and do it?

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Homestead)

Post #: 90

RE: Cynical assumptions. - 9/1/2006 6:17:09 AM

Homestead

Posts: 1005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Homestead: Probably it would be, I agree, but - I can imagine there might be people who honestly don't think about doing that.
Maybe they will read this thread and do it?

- Susan

Trust is a key issue here. Being duplicitous by having multiple and conflicting profiles is a really great way to screw yourself, if and when a potential partner finds out what you have done.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 91

RE: Cynical assumptions. - 9/1/2006 6:20:15 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

I know that, and you know that. I am not trying to sound arrogant (I am not arrogant) but - if you haven't noticed, there are some people out there who are don't have their lightbulbs turned on all the time, shall we say.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Homestead)

Post #: 92

RE: Cynical assumptions. - 9/1/2006 6:22:28 AM

Homestead

Posts: 1005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

I know that, and you know that. I am not trying to sound arrogant (I am not arrogant) but - if you haven't noticed, there are some people out there who are don't have their lightbulbs turned on all the time, shall we say.

- Susan

Oh, you mean stupid?

Not really my issue, I avoid those.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 93

RE: Cynical assumptions. - 9/1/2006 6:23:58 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Well, maybe - but I am trying to be diplomatic about coming out and saying it out-right I guess, yes. Some people can act stupidly, or are actually stupid. But - I do think there are poeple who just do things because they don't honestly realize what the ramifications could be because they aren't very "familiar with the bdsm realm", too. I remember learning a lot of new vocabulary, for example, when I first started investigating bdsm. And there is so much I still don't know. I don't think that makes me stupid, necessarily - just uninformed. There is a difference, I think.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 9/1/2006 6:37:38 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Homestead)

Post #: 94

RE: Cynical assumptions. - 9/1/2006 6:24:18 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip

quote:
        Isn't it possible for different females to bring out different sides
        of a guy? Can't dominant females bring out the submissive side
        of a guy, and submissive females bring out their dominant side.
     Is this so hard to understand? I guess it must be.

> Only if it is there to BE brought out. YOU seem to think that people have problems with switches...

I guess you missed the thread I was responding to as to why someone might have two profiles, one as a dom, the other as a sub, and might be seeking a domme in one profile and a sub in another.

The honest thing to do would be to call yourself a switch and have ONE profile.

Have to disagree - a person in this instance - just because they wish to submit or dominate, doesn't make them a switch. Nothing dishonest in that.

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to Homestead)

Post #: 95

RE: Cynical assumptions. - 9/1/2006 6:27:49 AM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mountainpet
I don't understand why this is a problem. If lesbians don't want to get involved with men, or with bisexual women, don't they have this right? It seems to me that the category of "switch" was created for those people who can play in either role- so if I'm looking for such a person, I would look in the switch category. If I'm looking for a dominant, then I might not want someone who is submissive.

Some switches are never submissive.

Just because a guy can be submissive for a short
period of time, does not mean he can't be dominant
24 / 7.    If you are looking for a dominant, you do
yourself a disservice by ruling out every male
switch.   You are the reason why some male
switch may have two profiles. Because if they
just had one one profile, subs would think they
can't be dominant, and dommes would think they
can't be submissive.

Thank you for illustrating my point.

(in reply to mountainpet)

Post #: 96

RE: Cynical assumptions. - 9/1/2006 6:28:17 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Homestead: Probably it would be, I agree, but - I can imagine there might be people who honestly don't think about doing that.
Maybe they will read this thread and do it?

- Susan

Trust is a key issue here. Being duplicitous by having multiple and conflicting profiles is a really great way to screw yourself, if and when a potential partner finds out what you have done.

Thats you assuming they havent already mentioned they have two profiles. Your judging everyone on one issue - whether they are trying to fool people or not. What you are doin is generalising everyone who has two profiles as must being switches... or assuming they are with holding any information from a potential partner... and that may not be true.

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to Homestead)

Post #: 97

RE: Cynical assumptions. - 9/1/2006 6:29:55 AM

Homestead

Posts: 1005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Well, maybe - but I am trying to be diplomatic about soming out and saying it out-right I guess, yes.

- Susan

I can't tell other people how to behave. But I can point out the consequences. And even if they don't mean to be dishonest, it can be taken that way when one plays games.

A lot of people are drawn to this for not very good reasons-and the longer you deal with this, the more cautious one gets over players and nutjobs.

< Message edited by Homestead -- 9/1/2006 6:32:19 AM >

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 98

RE: Cynical assumptions. - 9/1/2006 6:34:31 AM

Homestead

Posts: 1005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Homestead: Probably it would be, I agree, but - I can imagine there might be people who honestly don't think about doing that.
Maybe they will read this thread and do it?

- Susan

Trust is a key issue here. Being duplicitous by having multiple and conflicting profiles is a really great way to screw yourself, if and when a potential partner finds out what you have done.

Thats you assuming they havent already mentioned they have two profiles. Your judging everyone on one issue - whether they are trying to fool people or not. What you are doin is generalising everyone who has two profiles as must being switches... or assuming they are with holding any information from a potential partner... and that may not be true.

Peace and Rapture

Honesty would be mentioning thier OTHER profiles in each one, no?

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 99

RE: Cynical assumptions. - 9/1/2006 6:37:10 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Okay, I understand. I know there are many nuts out there.

Re Switches: I've known Switches that have hard time defining what Switches really are. In my case, being one is all still in the realm of my own head, although from my own fantasies, I gather it is a distinct possibility I am one.

Because although I think I am 90% submissive, and being with a male Dominant as a submissive is where my real world experiences lay, I consistently also (though much less often) think about Dommeing (sp?) male submissives, and how satisfying that would maybe be to try. But - I've never actually done that (yet). I wonder where I would fall on a 'spectrum of "Switchiness" as far as this thread is concerned...?

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Homestead)

Post #: 100

Page: << < prev 3 4 [5] 6 7 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Cynical assumptions.

Page: << < prev 3 4 [5] 6 7 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094