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Improvement as a person - 8/31/2006 2:21:10 AM   
LeatherBentOne


Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline 		In what ways has your Dom/Domme/Master assisted you in improving your life as an individual?  What difference has this made in your submission?  In your everyday life?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Improvement as a person - 8/31/2006 4:37:43 AM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		Before my Dom, I had a job I hated, no education, a two pack a day smoker, a moderate drinker, obese, and angry all the time.

In the last 16 months and especially the last 6 months since moving in with him I have been transformed. I got my GED and will be enrolling in a technical college at the end of the month. I don't smoke or drink but on rare occasions. I have been on a healthy eating plan and exercising 6 days a week. I have never been more loved, at peace, and happy in my life. He is my everything. I have a real future of promise to look forward to and I am really hoping to someday be not just a submissive but the type of slave that he wants.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Improvement as a person - 8/31/2006 4:42:09 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I went to my Dom months ago and asked him to help me find a calmer way of living.  I get tense, stressed and I worry, often about stupid stuff.  He suggested that I blog, meditate, and set up a routine for daily exercise.  These things are non-negotiable and I have to do them.  He has also suggested specific books and on-line reading material, to help broaden my thinking.  I could do all of these things on my own, but I don't think it would be as meaningful.  I do these things not only for myself, but also as an exercise in accepting his control (submitting to him).

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Improvement as a person - 8/31/2006 6:48:24 AM   
zumala


Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline 		KatyLied...  I'm glad for you.  I wish I had someone to help me with those things.  My stress level has been through the roof lately and pushing me into depression.
 
zuma

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Improvement as a person - 8/31/2006 7:52:08 AM   
Miseri


Posts: 59
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Oh I can contribute to this one!!!! :)

Lately, he has become very aware of how negatively I view my body. I'm a pretty lazy person on my own, so he took matters into his own hands. We have a planner where I write in my work schedule and he writes in my workout schedule, including the exercise to be performed. At the end of the day when he comes home, I take my planner to him and say, "Master, I've been a good girl. I did my two mile may I please have a sticker?" And he puts a cute little sticker in my planner on the daily view and on the monthly view. That way when we look back, I can get a sense of accomplishment. It's really helping me to make this routine and to not make excuses not to work out.

I'm also a more well-mannered person. I can be a bit brash and hot-tempered. However, knowing that how I act reflects on him has caused me to be more thoughtful.

I could go on. Just knowing him has made my life better. We have been together for six years... :) Being his makes me the happiest I could ever be... (gooey mushy lovey feelings!)

< Message edited by Miseri -- 8/31/2006 7:55:56 AM >

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Improvement as a person - 8/31/2006 8:50:32 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I thought very little of myself treated myself as a person with little value. I now know otherwise.

Also, my anger is gone.

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Improvement as a person - 8/31/2006 9:11:15 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
I thought very little of myself treated myself as a person with little value. I now know otherwise.

Also, my anger is gone.

You're also not fluffy, or wimpy or "one twue way" anymore either. :D

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Improvement as a person - 8/31/2006 9:29:42 AM   
angielouwhos


Posts: 87
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		My two past owners ( there were three but the first was short term) both helped me and my husband in self improvement. For me it's included further education, and encouraging me in my art and in athletics, and that includes maintaining my weight and fitness.

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Improvement as a person - 8/31/2006 9:50:17 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		He gives me books to read

He also has been giving me advice on applying for jobs, and that has been helpful

To be honest, although I feel my mind is being improved just because he is more than my intellectual equal, he has not ordered me to do anything specific to improve myself, he has not changed my diet, I quit smoking before I met him, and he actually advised me to work out less, not more ( was over-exercising).

He does make me think about how I converse, and he does point out how I could make my points and communicate better with him, which is very helpful to me because I know I am not objective about these sorts of things, and it is very helpful to have him point out where I can improve. He is never insulting about this, and I never feel badly because of constructive criticism..  With him I never feel insecure or put down.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Improvement as a person - 8/31/2006 10:34:17 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
I thought very little of myself treated myself as a person with little value. I now know otherwise.

Also, my anger is gone.

You're also not fluffy, or wimpy or "one twue way" anymore either. :D

Heh...don't be so sure. I just voice my opinions differently now :)

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Improvement as a person - 8/31/2006 10:34:29 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Master has mad me a happier calmer person and that has improved my life to no end.  As an example in school last semester i had a really tough math class and i needed to be held  only by him and there was Master to hold me.  Calmed me down things like that he does just deepens my level of submision to him. I love him so much.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Improvement as a person - 8/31/2006 10:54:51 AM   
pqwinny


Posts: 117
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline 		He is the very first person by whom i have felt truly unconditionally loved (kids don't count, it's a different kind of love).  I know others have loved me and i have loved others but there is a depth and purity with Him i have not experienced before. 

And this has created a sense and feeling of freedom i can't describe.... but i don't think it needs description here anyway :)

_____________________________

I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Improvement as a person - 8/31/2006 2:43:20 PM   
LaMspeach


Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline 		Master has encouraged me in so many ways, I don’t know where to begin. He believed in me when I no longer believed in myself.. When I met Master I was at the lowest point in my life He encouraged me to strive for better instead if just existing. I was in a dead end job I hated, now I have a job I love making twice the money I did before. I am happier then I have ever been because He helped me look inside to find the true me...
Master owns me body, mind and soul, so it sets me free to be who and what I need to be.



_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"



(in reply to LeatherBentOne)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Improvement as a person - 8/31/2006 3:51:13 PM   
jonathan


Posts: 196
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline 		my biggest personal hurdles are time management and motivation. i must be genetically disposed to procrastinate. One of the first things i told my Goddess was that i have always been at my best when there is a Woman in my life to keep me in line. i tend to drift without that. So She has been working on that for months. We're still LD, and complete success may only come with my relocation to Her, but i'm getting better. my weeknights and weekends are on a trial schedule for now.

i thrive on routine, when i know what is expected of me and when. Bringing that organisation to Her household is one of the reasons She finds me appealing as a boy. So my service nature and need for direction match well with Her desire for a TPE relationship. We're very complementary.

i have noticed the education subject in this thread, and this is somehting that i need to address. Continuing professional education to enable me to provide for the household. i found just the right thing months ago, and have not moved ahead with it yet. Not able to structure the time on my own.


_____________________________

jonathan
http://www.slaveregister.com/000-515-587

"But in purple, i am stunning!"
"Before You slip into unconsciousness, i'd like to have another kiss, another flashing chance at bliss, another kiss, another kiss"

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Improvement as a person - 8/31/2006 4:36:48 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		I am not in a one-on-one D/s relationship, however, I am part of a group that practices D/s on a group level. So, in some ways I have a Dom/me/Owner/Master just contained within multiple bodies and personalities.

The Dom/mes in the group have helped me change in a number of ways. One of the first of my issues to be addressed was the way I would put myself down, both subtly and overtly. That was quickly squashed. Another was my belief that I was basically lazy and unwilling to work hard. That was squashed as well at a recent party where I had to be ordered to sit, drink water, and not do any more work except by proxy. Once I start working, I'll keep working past exhaustion to get the job done, especially if I know the job will please a Dom/me.

I'm fairly new to the group so they have not had a chance to make a lot of changes in me, but those are the "biggies" for me today.

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Improvement as a person - 8/31/2006 4:39:13 PM   
babygirl005


Posts: 146
Joined: 5/3/2005
Status: offline 		My Master has helped me so much, and continues to do so, with feeling good about myself,  and letting things go, and not worrying so much.  He is the most even tempered person i have ever met.  He let's me express myself in ways i was never allowed to growing up or in my previous relationship.  If i am out of line, He lets me know.  If i am making a mountain out of a mole hill, He lets me know.  He never lets my emotions get out of hand or runs from them.  He is always steady as a rock.  my Rock.  He has helped me to realize that i am a special person with special qualities.  i am a work in progress, but He is by my side always.  i am a much happier person, because i can relax knowing He is here to protect me, love me, guide me and discipline me.

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Improvement as a person - 8/31/2006 4:52:46 PM   
Kashan


Posts: 51
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline 		I've almost stopped swearing. I do the dishes. I dress less slutty in public, more slutty for him. I don't let others bother me as much. I make sure I do some things for me, but still get done what needs to get done. That's quite an improvement for the short amount of time we've been playing.

(in reply to babygirl005)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Improvement as a person - 8/31/2006 4:56:35 PM   
Skier


Posts: 52
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		This is THE most encouraging and inspiring thread I've ever read on CM. Self-improvement is a major part of my training and I thought I might be one of the only ones to attempt this. With rare exceptions, most of the M/s relationships I see are stagnant. People enter BDSM to avoid problems when they could use that energy to confront and overcome them. All of you guys and your Masters/Mistresses deserve credit.  Congratulations.

(in reply to babygirl005)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Improvement as a person - 8/31/2006 5:09:22 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		i cannot speak for what my boy has done yet, but I am glad to see that I am not the only ower that plans on having a very active role in improving my pet as a person outside of simlpy improving his ability to serve.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Skier)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Improvement as a person - 8/31/2006 6:41:43 PM   
rien


Posts: 5
Joined: 8/16/2006
Status: offline 		In the short time my Master and I have been together, I've become a much better person, in my opinion. I have something to strive towards. I have something that makes me incredibly happy in my life. Motivation, if you will, but he represents so much more than that. He is my hope. I feel like I can open things up to him that I can't to anyone else. I feel like I can trust him completely and totally.

Put simply, he's my God. I don't know any other words to describe it. He does for me what religion is meant to do for someone. He guides me, disciplines me when I'm wrong, takes care of me, holds me--loves me. All of those things have softened me. I feel like I've become myself.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 20
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