Bearlee
Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004 From: South Central CO Status: offline
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SirKenin, thank you for you post(s). I honestly do realize it takes some time to build trust…it just seems to me that, as adults here, we should be able to communicate honestly here and have been confused by meeting seemingly nice people who either suddenly disappear or seem mostly interested in cyber. When I say ‘let go’, I didn’t mean to give in and start cybering (necessarily), what I meant is he may have a valid point when he grouses at my regularly saying “…if all proves well…” and “…if we click…”. Perhaps it is MY method of slowing things down…or perhaps it is my method of showing distrust. I would prefer to trust people. My questions are about letting go and just trusting (as far as chatting online, I mean). Here I have been talking mostly about an amalgam of people, not a single person. The journal entry you read was with regard to yet another…a month or so ago. He’s another who just up and disappeared after what I thought was a charming week of daily communications. Celeste, great point about ‘pushing too hard’. And actually, I have mentioned to men about others who push too hard…course what happens is I get told “I am not so-and-so”. Perhaps it is my delivery! I should say I dislike the activity and not bring specific instances into the conversation. Thank you… angie, I agree, we do get awful direct online; and VERY quickly. Perhaps that’s part of my problem. While, on one hand I like that sort of directness and CAN discuss anything, it can lead to more….sensuous talk…which I (sometimes) I find uncomfortable. Perhaps that too, that confusion with what is ‘okay’ is what sends mixed messages (to BOTH of us!) agirl…while I AM interested in finding a Dom/Master…I do not automatically assume every guy I talk to will become that person. I have met many folks here and real-time who, knowing I’m a single submissive, obviously came up to me with that in mind…but we didn’t click that way and became good friends instead of entering a D/s or M/s relationship. Friends are always good… Ex, did I make the generalization men want cyber and women don’t? If I gave that impression, it was in error. I don’t even believe that; I’ve seen enough profiles and female nics here to know otherwise! LOL Also…perhaps I should fess-up and say, it is not that I WILL NOT cyber; I have and have enjoyed it. But gee…not with a perfect stranger! …well, not me, anyway. Perhaps the whole purpose of this ‘rant’ has been just a way to express my frustration with trying to figure out HOW to let go and just not take things so personally online. I KNOW I don’t have to cyber…and I know I will meet jerks; none of that bothers me. What I’m having trouble with is HOW to stay ‘real’ online (real = honestly building a realtionship, not allowing someone to 'jump' into one) …and perhaps that just ain’t gonna happen! Yup; ya just gotta meet the people! In the meantime…I will also confess that a man with whom I’m exchanging mail online (and have quoted here a couple times), has NOT gone anywhere. I directed him to this thread and apparently he got a big dose of shock to see his words ‘in public’. I figured it was no big deal, in that I am quite comfortable chatting here and never gave his name. He'd not been to the boards before and felt betrayed and more than a little angry and for that I am very sorry. (see…I get myself in trouble online every which way!!!) I will give the guy credit though, he has not gone anywhere…shock, shock. Pissed as he is; he’s TELLING me that…and stays in communication with me. Perhaps that says leagues. And…perhaps I should quit airing my laundry in public! In my defense, though…I will say (again) I have been talking in generalizations about several many men…and more than anything else just thinking out loud and trying to figure out HOW communication works online. I’ll stop now; thank you all for your help! bearlee edited cuz I can't spell fer chit!
< Message edited by Bearlee -- 9/3/2006 6:38:43 AM >
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